You Reap What You Sow (So Don't Lie To Women)

As a dating coach for the premier dating training company in the world, I have the privilege of meeting a lot of successful people. Many of my clients are respected businessmen or people who are otherwise successful in their fields, but just lack the success they want to have with their dating lives (which is where Love Systems comes in).

Getting better with anything in life often involves modelling people who are already successful at it Ė which is why clients watch us approaching women when we run live dating workshops. So to be successful yourself, itís important to be able to IDENTIFY success.

At first, all success (in dating or anything else) looks the same. Wow, that guy has a big house, he has a fast car, and he has a beautiful woman by his side! Itís easy to think to yourself, ďIíve got to be like him!Ē

But dig a little deeper and examine how he got these things. Did he earn them through his hard work and integrity? Or were these things handed to him on a plate? Worse still, did he get them through lying and cheating people.

I like to consider myself a good man, but my ethical behaviour has a purely selfish motivation. If I am good to the world and the people around me, I know that the world and people around me will ultimately be good to me. You reap what you sow.

What happens when you cheat on a woman?

Some time ago, a friend of mine was cheating on his wife. It eventually broke down the marriage, they got divorced and my friend moved in with the other woman he had been seeing. A few months later, that woman left him for another man that she had been seeing on the side. He reaped what he had sowed.

Nick Savoy, widely regarded as one of the top experts on relationship management, makes the excellent point that we should never lie to women. If you start a relationship with a woman by lying to her Ė about what you do, who you are or who you know (typical things men often lie about!) Ė you create a foundation for that relationship full of cracks.

That relationship will ultimately crumble, and while you are in it, neither of you will be happy because you feel the strain of those cracks.

This is why most women become disappointed when they get into relationships with guys they initially found attractive. Men that donít understand the principles outlined in Magic Bullets try all sorts of weird things to impress women, like buying them flowers, taking them out for expensive dinners or offering to buy them champagne in a club.

If a man even does get to the point where he sleeps with a woman after that (and believe me, it doesnít happen as often as you might think), then she eventually sees him for the weak man he really is. They may date for another couple of months, but the relationship will crumble and she will start sleeping with other men.

Truth always comes out

I see the same thing happening in business as well. Sometimes we see a company being really ďsuccessfulĒ even though we know they donít have the healthiest methods of getting there.

A friend of mine and fellow Love Systems Daytime Dating instructor, Kisser, is a huge fan of Apple Macs. He's been in the computing industry for a long time and knows for a fact that most of the real innovation (including the mouse, wireless internet and touch screen technology) has come from Apple.

But for a long time Microsoft reigned supreme though its distribution network, advertising, monopolising and legal safeguarding. Now, in the economic downturn we are experiencing, Microsoftís profits are faltering and Apple just announced a significant increase on profit from last year. Microsoft has cut thousands of people from its workforce. Apple hasnít even fired their janitor.

How did this happen? At the heart of it, Apple created superior products and now the world is starting to see that. How many friends do you know with an iPhone, an iPod or a MacBook? It's been increasing every year.

It took some time for the harvest to come, but Apple and Microsoft are both reaping what they sowed.

Set healthy foundations when you date women

Don't be blinded by the apparent ďsuccessĒ of someone or something. Look a little deeper at how it was achieved, and realise that there are healthy and unhealthy ways to achieve it. The unhealthy ways ultimately result in failure and unhappiness.

Here are some actions points to consider for your dating life:

Pick your dating gurus carefully. Look at HOW they achieved their success as well as their results.

- Donít lie to women. If you donít want to talk about something, donít talk about it, but donít lie.
- Donít cheat on women. If you donít want an exclusive relationship with her, donít pretend that you do.
- Donít try to manipulate women into sleeping with you. Become a stronger man so that she WANTS to be with you.
- Donít pretend to be someone youíre not. Sheíll eventually find out.

Jeremy Soul