Observational Transitioning With Examples

One of the hardest parts for new guys when it comes to cold approach is making the conversation seem smooth and unstrained. This is especially true right after the opener, when you are about to turn the opener into a “normal conversation” (in other words, attraction). This is nothing new, and both Sinn and Savoy have been dishing out stuff about this. There’s a great chapter in Magic Bullets for transitioning, and Sinn has been posting a bit about transitioning both on his blog and on the forums.

The easiest way to transition in my opinion is by observational transitions. It carries a number of advantages such as:
  1. Peeks her interest right off the bat as this isn’t what every guy does and what you are saying is interesting
  2. It involves cold reads, which almost always gets a good reaction (and by a good reaction I mean something that helps you move the set forward)
  3. You can easily display playfulness and humor with them
  4. They often lead you into another routine
  5. You can build interesting and playful “minimum input” routine stacks with them

So the basics of delivering observational transitions are that right about when you are about to (falsely) leave the set after the opener, you notice something about a person (or persons) in the group that you just have to tell them about. The great thing about this is that they actually don’t have to do anything to make you say this! In other words, you can use the same observational transition for every set and create routine stacks where you use the same transition every time. You can use this stack as a training stack to get some in-set experience under your belt and work on your delivery, or you can use it as a back-up stack (or piece) whenever you feel like you need it.

“Well I could build routine stacks with phrasal transitions too” you might say. Well sure, but in my experience sets tend to stick better and listen more closely what I have to say if I use cold reads and get their attention and then jump into my longer DHV stories, than the other way around. Above that, cold reads and “observational transitions” is a powerful tool that you can throw in pretty much anywhere in the interaction, so it’s useful to learn a few of them anyway.

So what are some ideas for observational transitions? I have listed a few that I personally use (so you deliver your opener, then body rock as if you are about to leave the set and then fire out one of these babies)

  • Oh my god I just noticed something… you guys are pretty good friends aren't you? [and into best friends test]
  • Hey, I just noticed… Your eyes tend to slant downwards and to the left when I talk to you. My ex-girlfriend taught me that people who do that tend to be in good touch with their feelings. They seem to listen and follow their feelings a lot. Would you consider yourself a person who listens more to her feelings than pure logic?
    [They answer and I follow up with] Yeah because I like to do that too… actually that very trait has led me to some great adventures… [and off I go into a story]
  • I just noticed… you have a U-shaped smile [and into C vs U’s]
  • Hey, where did you get those shoes?! I was out with shopping with a friend of mine the other day and she was looking everywhere for a pair of shoes like that… you do know that if that pair you’re wearing was the last pair, then you are in some serious trouble (if said to the target, I sometimes add: “I think I hate you now. You and I are so not going to get along. You made me spend 4 hours looking for those damn shoes ”) [From here I just go “Actually speaking of my friend, she has this interesting theory…” and then off into a routine]
  • [They answer your opinion opener] Hmm… let me see your hands. [They give their hands to you] Yeah, just like I expected. [They go “what, what” and you go into finger length routine]
  • Geez, it’s amazing. My ex-gf has this “doppelganger” theory and it basically says that every person has an identical twin in the world, and you look exactly like my [last gf/ aunt / sister / cousin / the girl I fucked last week etc and then into a story about that person]
  • [Pause the opener, look at her and say] The way you stand when you talk to me…[pause] gives me the feeling you are pretty confident and friendly… am I right? (As you may notice this could very well be used in qualification, like many other cold reads that says something about her - and then you reward her with IOI’s for that).
  • Hey by the way, did you pick the finger you are wearing that ring on? [and into ring finger routine]
  • Hmm… something about you makes me think you are a pretty bad liar We have to play the lying game to see if that’s true [and into the 5 question game]
  • Hey it’s so cute, your nose wiggles when you talk and that totally reminds me of my ex-gf and the time we went to… [I think you know what to do here]

There you have some ideas for observational transitions. Play around with these and come up with some of your own. Now you know an easy way to transition from your opener to your attraction material, which often is a big sticking point for new guys.

A good exercise for in-field improvisation is to make up your own “cold read” (or something you’ve noticed about them) on the spot. I like to do this because its fun and I get a kick out of improvising. Like “Hey I noticed you have blue eyes, just like me. Did you know that they say that people who have blue eyes are more spontaneous and adventurous? Too bad you have blonde hair; you don’t want to know what they say about that…”

Remember, the more natural a transition feels the more likely it will be a good one. By practice you will make these feel very natural, but if you come up with something on the spot that feels more natural then by all means use that one.

- Rokker