How to make her your girlfriend

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  1. #1
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    How to make her your girlfriend

    How do make a woman into your girlfriend?

    Well, I'm not going to solve that issue in one post, but I'll give the best starting point that I can for it.

    Relationship Management

    A lot depends on subtle cues you give - it's amazing how much women read into men's behavior when men aren't even trying to give off signals. As a side note, that's one place I think where women go wrong with guys. Most of what guys do is "noise" and meaningless. Much more of what women do means something.

    Anyway...

    It is both easier and harder to make a woman into your girlfriend than it is to casually date her. Because monogamous relationships are the dominant relationship type in our society, women will often assume that this is where your relationship is going unless either of you say or do something to imply otherwise.


    This may seem strange on the surface. After all, you probably have not ended up in Traditional Relationships with most of the people you’ve slept with. This is because people often do “say or do something to imply otherwise”. This can be very subtle. For example, if she mentions other men or dates at any point of your interaction after the first hour or so, she’s probably not looking for a Traditional relationship. If you have a “party” vibe about you and never seem to get serious, she may assume the same about you.

    Now, let’s assume that you do want a Traditional Relationship. How do you get this enticing woman to be your girlfriend?

    The good news is that a lot of this process is not all that different from getting her to sleep with you – show enough interest to get her looking in that direction, but not so much that you come across as pushy, clingy, or not a challenge.

    In other words: Get close to her without being clingy.

    Your goal is to get to seeing her 2-3 times per week and for her to come to the conclusion herself that she doesn’t want to see other men and/or that she’d rather give up the ability to see other men in return for knowing that you won’t see other women. It’s important for her to come to this conclusion herself as opposed to your pressuring her.

    If you pressure her into a commitment before she feels completely ready – or at least ready enough to bring it up or hint strongly at it herself – then you’re significantly adding to the likelihood that she’ll cheat on you later. So let’s not do that.

    For best results, start when in Comfort. Vague long-term plans based on common interests are a great idea. For example, if I’m dating a woman who tells me she loves art, I’ll talk about how we have to go to the Getty Museum one day. If we realize we both love ice hockey, I’ll comment on how we have to go to a game. If she wants to be a better cook, then I’ll suggest we take a cooking class at the place under the Arclight, and maybe make it more specific by agreeing on what kind of cuisine we should learn. Not only are you uncovering great date ideas, but you are also 1) reinforcing any emotions she has that you and her have some exciting possibilities ahead, 2) communicating that you see potential for some kind of longer-term relationship with her, and 3) helping her imagine herself with you in other contexts in the future. Don’t actually plan anything at this stage – keep it vague. Planning is boring for many women and takes away excitement and adventure and can make everything feel “too serious” to her.

    Right after you first sleep with her is a key time. Solidify the connection if you can. Stay over or invite her to stay over. Have breakfast together. Call her the next day. Communicate to her by your actions (without saying it) that she’s not a one-night stand to you. That’s easy enough. Now do all of that without being clingy. There’s no formula here. You’re just going to have to use your intuition.

    Also remember that women can be very unpredictable right after sex, so she may display emotions that actually have nothing to do with you. Don’t react to these. Society (both the media and her peer group) bombard her with messages that her worth is tied up in her sex appeal but also makes women feel guilty or cheap for enjoying their sexuality. If she’s got some odd emotions to deal with, the last thing she needs is some guy being needy. She may well act very distant from you, but still like you a great deal.

    Call the next day. Handling this call correctly is crucially important. It must not be awkward.

    Don’t refer to having had sex with her. Don’t call to “check in” with her. Call because something funny happened that you want to tell her about. Be the same natural, fun, and interesting person you were before you slept with her. Don’t let any awkward silence develop, but don’t sound nervous or talk too much or too quickly. If you’re worried about awkward silences, cue up enough topical things to talk about for at least an 8-10 minute conversation. Don’t rush into making plans unless she seems very warm and comfortable to you on this call. End the call first.

    On one of your next calls, invite her to do something. If she sees you again after you’ve slept together, you’re well on your way. Use each time you see each other to discuss mutual interests and upcoming events. Further dates will follow naturally out of these conversations. For example, say you are both talking about your love for classical music. You mention that you have tickets to the symphony for next Friday. Presto. You have another date.

    At some point, she should give off some indications that she’s committing to you. For example, she might reserve part of her weekend for you, or wants to know what you’re doing on the weekend so she can make her plans. She might suggest a weekend getaway. Introducing you to her friends more than once is a very good sign. Listen to how she introduces you, and make sure to invite her along when you are doing some activities with your friends especially exciting high-status activities. Remember, women lose social value if their friends perceive them as easy, so if she’s introducing you to them more than once, she is probably not introducing other men at the same time.

    If she hasn’t given any of these signals, be patient. Use the telephone to your advantage. A couple of phone calls during the week, ideally 10 minutes or so, to tell her about something interesting that happened or to check in on something specific in her life (if she was sick before, to find out if she’s feeling better, if she just started a new job, to find out how that went) works wonders. It shows that you care and that you listen. Most of the usual telephone rules still apply (there's tons of good phone advice in the Forum)

    At some point, she will bring up the idea of you as her boyfriend or ask you if you’re seeing other women. This is not a time for a jealousy plotline. Just be genuine here. Your goal is very close.

    It is a rare woman who will see you 2-3 times per week and never refer to you as her boyfriend or initiate a discussion about the future. But if it happens, then the responsibility falls on you to say something like “I feel funny bringing this up, but I realized we never actually talked about this. Are we supposed to be seeing other people?” Be emotionally neutral – and not nervous – when you say this. One way or another, this will resolve the issue
    Last edited by Savoy; 01-08-2007 at 06:24 PM.


    Love Systems President, Program Leader

    1 - Read the Magic Bullets Handbook - it's the bible of the Love Systems community, answers 90% of the questions here, and saves you years of time re-inventing the wheel.
    2 - Follow me on The Real Savoy Blog, or my twitter account. And friend me on Facebook for exclusive dating advice I don't post anywhere else.


  2. #2
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    awesome awesome post savoy.. it clarifies come key point that needed to be brought up...as long as you take that proccess naturally and be patient, it will fall into place, rush it and u fuck it up

    nicely written savoy

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    Best Of.

    MM teaches you how to get the girl, but not how to keep her. I'm liking the new direction Savoy is taking.
    TGO

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    Damn, I just now have found a girl i actually like for more than her looks, and ive been stumbling around working on the "girlfriend" aspect of the relationship. Good call on the jealousy plotline, ive been doing that, and it did hurt me a bit. Awesome much needed post. Thanks Savoy.

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    I hope I have read this just in time...

    I'm now dating a girl who is really LTR material. The problem is I already am running out of routines and stuff to do with her. I'm starting to become as you would say "needy".

    Maybe the reason for my neediness was my past relationship. I had a girlfriend who was my classmate in college and we could see each other everyday for four years. So now it is hard getting used to seeing a girl for just once or twice a week. I've screwed another relationship before because of this ( which I discovered the reason why by reading this ).

    At present the girl I'm dating is seeing me once a week, though we text everyday but not every hour. I've called her twice Sunday and today for conversations which last for about 10-15 minutes.

    She had been dating before but now she tells me she has stopped seeing other people. Her friends also concur. I've also been seeing other girls but recently I had no desire to meet other women.

    She already introduced me to her bestfriend and also her friends from work ( she's a nurse) on separate occasions. That's a good thing right?

    I hinted that I wanted more time for us. She reasoned that she is very busy due to her studying for an exam and spending time with friends and work. I think I came out being needy.

    Guys, what can I do to reverse the situation?

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    this thread needs to be topped because it is great advice. the last part in savoy's post about asking to see other people is great. i'm way past this stage with my ltr, but this still has great advice in it.

  7. #7
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    Great post Savoy!

    I'd be interested to know how it works from the other side (i.e. how does a girl establish the LTR frame). That'll probably require another thread though.

    Rogue

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    Best of !!! Thanks for the advice !!

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    Great advice. THanks

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    Excelent Post Savoy..

    But.. i dont have clearly some things..

    We must continue the dates.. since the women.. says.. hey.. what we are?

    But.. if Im in love to her.. i feelme some afc.. i said things .. ugly things.. P.Example.. hey... youre the unique women.. that... disolve my problems.. and convert it on dreams..

    Things that provide security to the relationship.. and her seelfsteem.. and i think.. thats bad.. cuz.. if she are.. insecure.. she love me more.. she miss me.. she thinks me all the dall.. because.. she dont want what i have doing..

    Can be help.. or not??

    Thanks and greetings..

    Amarantus

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    Thanks man appreciate the advice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Savoy View Post
    It is a rare woman who will see you 2-3 times per week and never refer to you as her boyfriend or initiate a discussion about the future. But if it happens, then the responsibility falls on you to say something like “I feel funny bringing this up, but I realized we never actually talked about this. Are we supposed to be seeing other people?” Be emotionally neutral – and not nervous – when you say this. One way or another, this will resolve the issue
    Question here: Is this still the right move if she has been giving a lot of mixed signals but lately been asking all kinds of questions that seem probing into my activities outside of our relationship? But she hasn't actually taken in it any further than that or initiated the complete conversation. Also in the past she has sent a lot of mixed signals indicating some serious hang ups about anything that is "officially" too serious I guess you could stay. It's difficult to describe. Would like to try to figure out which direction this thing is headed without putting any pressure or losing any ground that's already been gained.

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    i jsut remmeberd about her job interview thnx great post!

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    Great job Savoy, especially in bringing up the fact that women often display odd behaviors either immediately or the day following a sexual encounter. I have made the mistake in the past of taking these to heart rather than with a grain of salt.

    In fact, I did this last Wednesday. lol

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    Im glad this is here! I was just thinking about how this girl Im currently seeing but nothing official is definite ltr potential.

    We see each other 2-3 times per week, I havent met her friends but I have met her parents and she asked me what I thought of them (test to see if I get along with her family maybe?). We dont talk much though unless its to set up a date. What can I do to talk more without appearing needy/clingy?

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    OK, now I have a question about my current position, my really big screw up. I live in FL and met a girl in CT. My job as a pilot allows that to actually work. I was busy doing training on my days off and was unable to go to CT as often as I wanted, so basically got to know this girl via tel for over 2 months
    Talked several times per day, we got very close and I actually let my guard down and said things way to soon, but she didnt mind... but that just set things up for alot of pressure when we were finally able to get back together last week, but it actually made for a pressured situation for both of us. But we had a blast and everything went really great (maybe too great)... I think she might feel a little guilty for the things we did
    I do really like this girl, super fun and cool girl, she can hold her own out hangin with the guys ya know.
    Unfortunately, try to play things down... plus trying to pull a reaction out of her I went the negative route towards myself without even thinking about it, things we had talked about several times.
    Needless to say she took things the wrong way got made, now thinks I'm insecure I guess and I managed to piss her off at the same time.
    Now she tells me she's confused, I havent heard from her in a few days, then I get a text from her saying she was just in a car accident but OK, I called her.... but we still havent talked now in almost a week.
    I assume she needs her space, but at the same time shouldnt I still try to keep things going? But she hasnt replied to my call or text from a few days ago.
    Any suggestions???

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    I like it!

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    thanks for the post. soaking up game over here.

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    Well that's a good way, I did it another way and it seemed to work for me. I've talked about my interactions with this girl in the General forum. We've been seeing each other for close to 6 weeks after having seeing each other for a month a year ago. The first time we had sex, she left early in the night and I was a bit worried but I kept my cool and just continued the interaction the same way, I saw that she didn't leave because of me. We saw each other Friday, a week after the night we first slept togheter, and we had sex 3 times over the night. We went to breakfast in the morning and she asked me to come over on sunday, she brought me some food her mom cooked, had her overnight bag (when I said nothing about it) and missed her favorite show to be with me. So after we had sex again, I talked to her about being my gf. I told her I didn't want to pressure her and I liked the way things were going between us but that I was starting to have feelings for her and that I'd definately be up for more. She asked me what I meant and I said the truth, and she agreed that she had feelings for me too, and that she saw us being in an LTR.

    It may not work for everyone, but it worked for me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by swabe View Post
    I'm now dating a girl who is really LTR material. The problem is I already am running out of routines and stuff to do with her. I'm starting to become as you would say "needy".
    Just go with the flow Dont push yourself too much coz it will be boring that way. it makes more challenging if you dont see each other everyday so she'll miss you and that's the GOOD part of it. hope that helps


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    How do I make a girl I'm friends with into a sexual, girlfriend type thing? We are NOT close friends but social friends-think she sees me as a friend. Not sure how to transcend this. She does respect me socially. She'll text me once in awhile to come "hang with the group", etc. But if I ask her out on a date one on one there is an awkward energy to that. Hmm...

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    Quote Originally Posted by SFF View Post
    How do I make a girl I'm friends with into a sexual, girlfriend type thing? We are NOT close friends but social friends-think she sees me as a friend. Not sure how to transcend this. She does respect me socially. She'll text me once in awhile to come "hang with the group", etc. But if I ask her out on a date one on one there is an awkward energy to that. Hmm...
    Who's bringing the awkward energy? Or is it in your head because it's easier to not try than it is to try at all?

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    Hmm. Good question. I went out with her once a year and half ago but was sorta seeing someone else and brought a weird energy. Oddly this resulted in me sorta accidentally blowing her off. BUT to be honest when I have taken a few stabs a year later she was busy or unavailable. Then I did get a happy hour date with her about 3 months ago. She dazzled me but it was only two hours. I didn't feel "allowed" to kiss her because I hadn't quite built up attention. The date was stiff. Now she has approved of me socially even more (long story) and her peeps vouch for me. She is sort of hung up on the last guy but could probably break free with the right person (me). So I don't know how to handle it. Maybe invite her to do something fun one on one again but this time make my move? I seem to be good at getting numbers and hooking up with girls same night while totally fucked up but have zero game right now with the respectable girls while I am on a date.

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    Some advice?...hb 9 ltm

    Hi guys,

    This is my first post. Here it goes...

    So I have potentially met the perfect girl for me...ticks all my boxes - and I've been single for 6 years dating all sorts of girls. I normally have my shit together...as in I know how to play it when dating...but this one girl has got me frazzled...and not sure what to do. Ive already done a lot of damage by saying some real Dlv and needy shit - I know that I shouldn't have said. But she reciprocated.

    Definite high intensity chemistry...we get along and our intimate sessions are seriously emotionally charged to the point when we are making out I can see her shiver. Have not slept with her yet...

    So here's my dilemma...she is an highly motivated entrepreneur...so needs to mingle and socialize and go on business dinners and build networks and relationships as they may open doors for her start up...she's always wining and dining high profile biz men from overseas...and can drink and socialize and hold an engaging conversation...I guess that's why successful biz men always ask for her company at dinners etc...one hk billionaire asked her to work for him...and his colleagues had told her that she'd be on the payroll but not have to work etc...

    So we're based in shanghai - and we're both from similar backgrounds in australia. She's been here for 3 years, me only 10 months...she pretty much is hooked up with everyone - bar owners, restaurant owners etc...all I have going for me is a pimping expat apartment and driver...and a descent job.

    So social time is short, she had to cancel on me last Thursday as she had to attend a friends bowling event. This weekend was cut short cos she had to entertain guests. She invited me out for drinks etc but I'm weary of going as I'm not a super social person and don't want to be in the position of hanging on my own and totally Dlv ing myself at historical conversations etc...I also can't drink a great deal. Obviously I'm lacking some inner game and confidence. But reality is...I just want her to myself, and don't want to sound needy and ask her to blow off her plans to hang with me - and I'm not socially strong enough to hang with her and her networks friends and biz associates...

    I might be shipped back home in a couple of months...and I've told her...she's left me texts at 5 am saying that she wishes that I didn't have to go...etc...so there are reservations on both sides to getting emotionally attached - but it's going to happen...it's already happened.

    Shes so full of life, energetic bubly and so much fun...its what i love about her and what i hate about her...and i hate being like this because i feel as if im taking things way too serious too soon...I think I'm not strong enough or worthy enough to be her man. It's a shame because I would wife her in a second....

    Any thoughts or advice?

    Just q_rious....

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    Great advice Savoy,
    I've noticed I try to learn about a girl to fast which turns for the worse.

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    Great post! There are girls that are great dates but there's somebody who's great to be a girl friend.

    MMM... someone to be proud to be with!

    Girls can get your message across without you uttering a single word. I definitely agree that showing her how you feel for her instead of saying it will perfect it!

    Thumbs up!

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    Question: Do you still think I have a chance of making this women my girlfreind or is it my being paranoid?

    Background:

    So i've been seeing a girl for 2months, we've been on 3rd base for a while now and i finally got the f-close the other night...but couldn't get it back up at all once i blew my load....we had great chemistry and sexual tension but it just died when i couldn't get it back up. she admitted that she really likes me and she had a good night anyway, i said i'd make it up to her next time she agreed and told me to stop stressing(but i could see she was pissed off with for carrying on, she said it was too quick)...on the way back when she dropped me home it was abit awkard as i was really pissed off with myself...

    ive been away for the weekend (saw her on friday) so i told her i see her more than a one night stand she said "well thats a relief"...i said i'll call when im back, kissed and left.

    Now i will call her tommorow and after reading the opening page i'll just talk about the weekend anything other than sex...then hopefully all been well i can organise something for next weekend later in the week....what do you reckon?

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    Stop trying to do things and don't think about a girl as a "wife" until SHE is clearly trying to get you to commit. Most men are obsessed with official commitment and "titles." The irony is a woman will want a guy to confirm the title if the guy is pulling away, emotionally distant or not giving her the attention she wants.

    The key is to never show more interest or investment than SHE shows with you. Women are OBSESSED with the following stuff:
    -destiny
    -astrology (you could read her a love compatibility match between your astrology signs)
    -destiny (meant to be together, things are meant to happen in a certain way)
    -people (women love talking about PEOPLE, relationships and true love
    -love & soul mates (ask her if she has been in love before, but do it in a GENERAL way that is NOT saying you are in love)

    Things to keep in mind:
    -women are emotional not logical
    -women love when a guy is normally not emotional and is normally stable but then lets his guard down and shows her a sweet, vulnerable side (share a secret and don't be afraid to shed a tear of two BUT rarely)
    -give her an emotional "glimpse" but TAKE IT AWAY
    -people want what they cannot have but think they have a realistic shot at getting (don't be TOO hard to get and DO give her SOME signs you are interested)
    -NEVER say you love her before going on at least 6 dates
    -NEVER say you want to spend your future with her until you are 10000% locked down in an exclusive, commited relationship
    -sex will happen a lot when you are in the relationship and women Are SCARED you will judge for having sex early. In other words, a woman could very well WANT to sleep with you and get nervous about you thinking she is not "GF material."

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    - Examine your reasons for asking the girl to make it official.
    - Make sure she likes you. If she's sending you mixed signals, try spending a little more time with her until you feel confident about how she feels.
    - Find the right place and time to ask your question. It's important to be thoughtful about when and where you'll be asking your question.
    - Have the right attitude. You should approach the evening with a positive attitude. Thinking that your conversation will go well can really help you succeed. If you have confidence in the future of your relationship, she will too.
    - Pop the question in the best way possible. It's important to deliver your question in the best way possible, so that your intentions are clear.
    - React appropriately. Whether she agrees to be your girlfriend and gives you a big hug or turns you down, your actions after you pop the questions can set the tone for the rest of the relationship.
    - Be honest about your intentions.
    - Do not ask her out or flirt in front of her parents!
    - Tell her she's beautiful and hug her from behind to make her feel special.
    - Surprise her with a hug and a kiss on her cheek to feel confident.
    - Things may not always go as planned

  30. #30

    So here's my deal... Been seeing thus girl for a few weeks. We spent 2 full weekends together and chances are we will spend this weekend together. We have not had sex even though she slept over last Saturday but it was because she had her period. She expressed frustration over this. Which was a good sign. All the attraction and comfort is all there. I get great ioi's and I send her some her way here and there but not to much at all. Basically I've been following all the rules of the game to this point. We have plans to hang out this Friday and will probably have sex. Everything about this girl is right. Now here's my dilemma.. I want her to be my girl. Just don't know how.to go about it and definitely don't want to lower value by doing so. She has already made a brief comment that she isn't seeing anyone else but suprisngly hasn't asked me yet.
    Do I bring something up this weekend that I don't want to see anyone either if so how? Do I just cone right out and tell her she's my girl? Or is it too early for any of this and should I just keep.it going the way it is for a little longer? I just don't want to lose her make her feel like I don't want to commit. Then again I'm not 100% sure she does either but she doesn't seem at all like a girl that just wants to see a bunch of dudes. What would you do??

  31. #31
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    Try to this steps. Hope it will help you.


    1. Examine your reasons for asking the girl to make it official. If you've found a girl who makes you feel special and your heart is beating at a million miles per minute, then chances are, she would make a great girlfriend. However, asking someone to be your girlfriend could be making a serious commitment that could lead to marriage, and it's important to understand your motives before you plunge into your question.

    - If she's the right girl, then she will possess many positive qualities that will make your relationship thrive. Here are a few signs that she is girlfriend material:
    * You love spending time with her. Every time you are apart, you're counting down the minutes until you'll see each other again.
    * She makes you want to be a better person. Her intelligence, quick wit, and work ethic makes you want to read more books, work harder, and brush up on your jokes.
    * She is committed to you. If she has demonstrated loyalty by showing up to watch your band perform, or bringing you chicken soup when you're feeling sick, chances are, she'll transition smoothly into the girlfriend role.
    * You have common interests. You have things in common, from your favorite sports teams to your love for running marathons. Though you don't have to share all of your interests, you have to have enough in common so you can find meaningful ways to spend time together as the relationship progresses.
    - If she's the wrong girl, or you're in it for the wrong reasons, then chances are, you're better off being single. Here are some signs that you should not take your relationship to the next level:
    * If she expresses interest in other men. If you know she is casually dating others, and makes no plans to stop seeing them, chances are she won't stop pursuing her extra-curricular activities once she becomes your girlfriend. However, give her the benefit of the doubt: she may be on the dating market, but you could be the one she has her eye on.
    * You only want to date her because you are lonely, or in need of some attention in the bedroom. Casual dating works best for these situations. Having a girlfriend is a real commitment, and you should be asking the girl to make it official because you care about her--not about what she can do for you.

    2. Make sure she likes you. If she's sending you mixed signals, try spending a little more time with her until you feel confident about how she feels.

    * Avoid asking too early! If you're only just beginning to get to know her and you immediately ask her to be your girlfriend, she will say no because she doesn't know you well enough, and the resulting awkwardness might decrease your chances of being together. Furthermore, she will probably think you're a bit strange (in a not so great way).
    * Listen to her words, and note her body language. Do you get the impression that she wants to be around you? You can pick up on this pretty easily if you concentrate on her actions.
    * Get a sense of her feelings from her friends. Without being too obvious, you can check in with her friends to see if she's really digging you. This can help boost your confidence--and to avoid potentially awkward situations if she has you deep in the Friend Zone.

    3. Find the right place and time to ask your question. It's important to be thoughtful about when and where you'll be asking your question. This will show your girl that you put time and effort into planning your special moment, and will increase your chances of getting a favorable response.

    * Pick a location that sets the right tone. It's important to pick a place where you can have enough privacy to ask your question. You can avoid any overly-romantic location, such as a candle-lit dinner, which will make your intentions too obvious and will make things more awkward if you are rejected. Asking during a long walk in a park or over quiet drinks can be just perfect.
    * Pick the right time. Evenings are more romantic and will allow the girl to focus on you, not her busy day. You can ask her on a weekend night, but be wary that this will make it look like a date already.
    * Make plans in advance. Be mysterious. Ask her to meet you a week in advance, so she'll be thinking about your intentions. This will show her that you're playful and thoughtful.

    4. Have the right attitude. You should approach the evening with a positive attitude. Thinking that your conversation will go well can really help you succeed. If you have confidence in the future of your relationship, she will too.

    * Avoid being nervous. Don't bite your nails, or retreat into awkward silence. Just be yourself.

    5. Pop the question in the best way possible. It's important to deliver your question in the best way possible, so that your intentions are clear.

    * Once you've gotten to know your girl, it's time to ask her to be yours. There are several ways to ask a girl to be your girlfriend, and it's going to depend on how people your age refer to it. For example, "going steady" is an outdated phrase. The following are pretty timeless:
    * "Will you be my girlfriend?" Asking her to be your girlfriend is much more direct and upfront than "would you go out with me?" Most girls would be flattered by your confidence and direct speech.
    * Don't be afraid to be creative if the direct route is not for you. You can ask the girl by handing her a letter, writing "Will you be my girlfriend?" on a cake, or finding another creative way to capture her attention--and her heart.
    * Don't wait a long time or she'll think you don't like her anymore. Girls have their limits.
    * Avoid asking her to be your "implied girlfriend." This may happen when you've been hanging out for a few weeks and generally having a good time. Then, one day you sort of look at each other and you ask, "Hey, are we going out?". Invariably, the answer will be No. Most times, it is just worse not to be direct about what you are.

    6. React appropriately. Whether she agrees to be your girlfriend and gives you a big hug or turns you down, your actions after you pop the questions can set the tone for the rest of the relationship.

    * If she says yes, tell her how excited you are to hear that you'll be spending time together as boyfriend and girlfriend. All of your cards are on the table and you don't have to worry so much about playing it cool anymore. Reciprocating her enthusiasm will show how thrilled you are about your future together!
    * If she rejects you, be understanding. There are many reasons that she may not want to be your girlfriend, such as having feelings for someone else, or only seeing you as a friend. Whatever her reason, it's important not to put her down or act like you don't care about her anymore. This will show that you're mature and reasonable, and will allow you to continue your friendship. Also, this will make it more likely that she will reconsider your question if you ask her in the distant future!

  32. #32
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    Really amazing andd unlike others it digs deep into it!
    However I have a specific problem I am puzzled about.
    My story started like 3 months ago, when I was a wingman for one of my friend on a dual date with a chick. I got along ran some routines on the chick (22 year old, chinese looking, cute, not in touch with her sexuality). Went ok.
    Second date: physical escalation>kiss close> soft touches> it 'tingled' her whenver escalated further> up all night on the roof top without shedding any clothes> morning left her at the station
    Third date: intimate> girl liked some soft stuff> got semi naked same roof top> tried escalating but the 'tingling' persisted (the tingle resistence)> managed to somehow force her into sex (meaning push pull,push pull, took her pants off touched vag; still tingling; kept saying the same thing; took my pants off, she touched my dick but she seemed too resisted and kept laughing, so there seemed playful resistence all the time) finally since I literally had to exhaust myself into her having to start feeling it(all in vain) she never got to the stage of being turned on and asking for my dick, played all sorts of mental push pull but the chick was too much into herself to even get in touch with her sexuality. Finally I could get into her vag like that and i kinda gave up.
    It got 6 am and she had to leave. I kinda advised to take contraceptive pills just in case.
    Since that which was a month and half ago we havent met but are in constant touch. The only thing is she doesnt call me or text me, only I am the one initiating although she starts laughing and having fun. One day I talked to her for like 6 hours on the phone. Mostly phone sex talk full of innundoes (she kept laughing and amused in a girlie way, with the whole talk but never expressed her being turned on if she was), Now the challange for me is the emotional escalation where I can emotionally open her up and have her ask me to proceed as a more intimate more intense relationship. Currently I dont know how to create a frame like that. Secondly, I've never had any relationship with a girl as I never had any gf in the past (I am 23 this year). The only reason i want to be with this chick for a while because I wanna share my intimacies with her. I've never had any sensual connection with anyone where 'she is as much into it as I am' so I am kinda craving that. I dont wanna come as needy or anything to her but often times that emotion pops out and I wanna have her feeling that too.
    Even after that night nothing really change just the fact that I talk a sexual to her (on which she either gives a playful 'no' or laughs at it). I mean I keep enjoying the conversation cz I get that 'hahaha' in the text all the time coming as a motivation.

    To Cut the long story short I really like to spend quality time with her by opening her emotionally and calling off her guards.
    (Our convo goes "what do u like doggy style or missionary' she says "nothing'.. Although I keep pulling her leg for giving similar replies and being predictable at times, still she will keep saying no to things to do (she doesnt wanna drink at all).
    Having said that I still kinda like her coz I've never had a chick as hot as her being so close to me in the past.
    Bottomline: I wanna change her saying so many Nos, nothings, never, nope etc. to 'YES, gimme more!, I want more c'mon'' stuff like that............................

    Off late we have been talking sex a lot and she enjoys it but doesnt fully opens herself up. I dont have a strategy on how do I really make her do what is required of this fling.

    SOS!

  33. #33
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    Hey, i have some issues about make it official.

    Im seeing A really nice girl. We have been dating for four moths. We have many plans, have awesome sex and i really see that she care about me. We are not seeing other people. But she didnt mention anything about us like couple, even we are really acting like being in relationship. I thinkig about the reasons, it is a quite large amount of time spent together. Maybe i should make it official and call her as my girlfriend? I never did that, because always girls were mentioned about it and in this case i am confused.

    How to act? Make some talks and call us as couple, but with self confidence (like: do u know that your my girlfriend?) or let the things happen?

    Thanks for responses!

  34. #34
    John_petk88 Guest

    Make your self perfect first!!!

    here is some great info:
    theattractionforums.com/new-start-here/132661-15-laws-attraction.html[/url]

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by mahendar View Post
    Awesome post Savoy expecting lot more from you in future
    Nick Savoy Classical Writings

  36. #36
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    How to make her your girlfriend

    Join clubs, get involved in your DSU and SFSS, attend school events, volunteer for things, make study groups in your classes/tutorials, play sports, etc.

  37. #37
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    Getting in a relationship is easy but stay in relationship for long term is quite difficult.

  38. #38
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    At Dawghoused get free relationship advice and tips from experts.

  39. #39
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    This thread was super interesting! Too bad it has not been lately so active Come on guys..lets make the thread active once more!!

  40. #40
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    Nice Post

  41. #41
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    Great Advice Savoy. Thanks

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