Sarging Alone....and why you should try it

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    Sarging Alone....and why you should try it

    Hi guys, I thought it was time to write a detailed post on Sarging Alone at Night with some practical advice, particularly on ways to start out or to make it easier for those who haven’t done it.

    Warning this is a long post.

    I know a lot of guys sarge alone, and if you already do – you’ve got my respect! If you don’t, you should give it a try.

    I’m not addressing sarging alone by Day in this post - you can find info on that in other posts. This deals with sarging alone at night, particularly in bars, not necessarily loud clubs.

    So why sarge alone?
    Heres a quick outline of the reasons why we should sarge alone. I will expand on these further down.

    It will lead to greater confidence
    Inner game will be improved
    It will help with your Alpha frame – being the self-sufficient guy
    Your game will improve and take on a different aspect– more practice, means you will get better. Not only more approaches, but different situations to adapt to.
    Increase your social circle
    Can be done anytime, at a time that suits you. No waiting for the weekend to catch up with mates.
    If you can sarge alone, it will be much easier with your wing, much easier
    It will get your much better at approaching, you will drastically reduce your fear – not totally, but mostly (not that it has totally gone away for me, I still get some fear if a see a SHB, but fuck it is a lot easier now).

    Yes it’s hard, but in this world the things that come hard to us are the most worthwhile. I’m almost certain that in Sydney where the population is 4 million that very very few guys sarge alone here......... because it’s hard.

    Isn’t it more fun with your mates?

    Well….. yeah, it is actually.

    But that’s not the aim here, entirely.

    I can go out with my pivot, with some fellow Sydney PUA’s or my AFC mates, and I will have a great time with all groups – in fact ill have a fuckin great time! The fact is I probably don’t have as much of a good a time sarging alone as with any of these groups, but I do get extra practice in. And I get better.

    Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy it, but it’s closer to a “mission” if you get my drift.

    The Excuses

    Ah yes, the excuses are many. Some of the ones that I've come across are:

    Everyone will be wondering why I am there by myself
    Ill be better when I'm with my mates
    I’ve got no safety net – I need to be around with people
    What if I see someone I know – won’t it be embarrassing if they see me by myself
    Won’t I look strange by myself?
    What if they ask my why I’m there with no friends

    Yes it feels strange, it feels uncomfortable. When you feel this way, you KNOW you are learning – you are trying something outside your comfort zone – you are developing.

    These excuses are just self limiting feelings – they actually have no logical foundation – it just that going out alone goes against what we are used to and it feels strange.

    The fact is that a lot of these things are very similar to reasons why we don’t approach at all, even with our wings.

    An extension of the 3 Second Rule

    We are all familiar with the 3 second rule. Well, there is another rule that I’ve found helps when going out alone: go straight into the bar / club with no hesitation.

    Too many times, you might circle past the club, deliberate whether you should go to another club, or just convince yourself otherwise for a whole list of reasons why you shouldn’t do it.

    Do it straight away. If there is a bouncer, talk to him on the way in. Talk to anyone guy or girl. You need to get into a social mood.

    Warm up sets are ESSENTIAL. This can take the form of the bouncer, the bar staff, other guys if you like. Other guys are so easy for warm ups – “hey, who won in the footy today?... get outta here, no fuckin way!?”, and off you go.

    Get yourself into mingling or talking to someone, anyone, ASAP.

    And while were talking about warming up, I have found that when you’re on your way to the venue with mates or wings, there is a sense of excitement; there’s testosterone in the air; a sense of anticipation that tends to bounce of one another. When you’re alone, this is much harder to get in this mood. Music is helpful to get you pumped up. Talk to people on the way to the club.

    Ditch the security blanket

    You go out with your mates and you have a sense of security, a feeling of belonging and being part of a group. If you’re out with a wing and he goes to get a drink or to the toilet, you KNOW he’s coming back so there no big deal when you’re there by yourself.

    What happens if he doesn’t come back? In my AFC days, if say, I was with a mate and he took ages to come back (maybe he met someone he knew at the bar or something) I grew uncomfortable waiting for him to come back. That was then.

    When you’re out by yourself, you have no “base” – normally with you’re with your mates or your wing, you have a base were you can stand or sit and check out the place, or someone who you can do a walk of the place to see the talent and come back to your wing and report. It’s a place you can just hang, or take a break.

    When you’re by yourself there is no base – its all you. You can’t depend on a safe place. So you have to get over that, it’s a test of social pressure. But this social pressure is not something that other people are applying to you, its pressure that you are putting on yourself.

    If you think at first you will struggle to do it alone, try just walking into a bar and just stand there. That’s right, just hang there by yourself. Casually look around without drawing any attention than normal to yourself – you will notice that NO ONE notices you. No one!!

    The concerns you have about “what will they think of me” are unfounded. Of course these are very similar feeling to those we get when we make excuses for approaching in any situation, alone or not. Those feelings go along the lines of “what will these girls think of me asking their opinion on something” or “will they blow me out”. Its funny how after sarging alone, these excuses just don’t materialise at all.

    It is in this way, amongst others, that can help improve your game.

    AA Relapses
    We all get it from time to time. I still find that sometimes I hesitate with sets now. It fluctuates, particularly if you have had a break from sarging – it takes some time to get back into the groove again.

    When I was stuck with approaching alone early on, I actually rang my pivot, told her what I was doing and how I was shitting myself. I told her that I was intent on breaking the dry spell and that I was going to open alone no matter what. This had the effect of an expectation from someone else that I had to do it – there was no way I was going to disappoint someone else and end up looking like a fuckin pussy.

    The result – the dry spell was broken. So if you find yourself chickening out of approaching alone, tell someone you are going to do it – even post of the boards what you are going to do, and tell us you going to report back to us on how you went.

    Practice – if you don’t practice or sarge regularly your game will lapse – you need to keep it up. My ups and downs are closely related to my levels of sarging.

    Methods of approaching & overcoming the initial uncomfortableness
    You can use most openers when sarging alone. Here are some tips for beginners starting out, and a lot of the things mentioned in this section parallel normal pickup.

    I’m still a big fan of opinion openers, however as my game progresses I tend to mix it in with more situational openers, then stack.

    You can use the opinion opener with the frame / look on your face of “oh, ill just ask them” and then launch into “hey guys, how bout a real quick opinion on something before I go”. Note the FTC built into the opener. It fits well with the fact that I’m just walking past, and is anchored particularly well in open set bars that aren’t packed full of people – in these sorts of environments, its not so packed that people cant see who is coming in and out of this place – the reason I mention this situation is that it is regularly the case in a lot of venues during the week; and I have done a lot of solo sarging during the week.

    I’ve also just tested the “walk straight up and ask them” approach. I’m in the frame of “fuck it, I don’t care what anyone thinks” – I get an especially big kick at doing this if there are a nearby group of guys eyeing of a group of girls and I just stroll past them and open the chicks – you can “feel” their eyes on you and the “WTF” expressions. Great feeling, especially for the ego.

    If you like, and you have concerns about being congruent when being there by yourself, it’s easy to use your phone if it make you more comfortable or fits the situation. For example, you can look at your phone if reading a text message and have a quizzical look on your face – it’s just something that you have to get an opinion on!! You can even send a fake message to yourself so you get the added “beep” effect of a message effect, if you’re one for the authentic experience!! You can even pretend that you’re talking on your phone – remember to have it on silent (you don’t want it to ring while you’re supposedly talking on it!!) – You talk about a topic that conveniently is the same as the opener you are about to use.

    I've used a walk to the bar / toilet to do a discreet scan of the place – its best not to waste too much time doing this.

    The more you think about people looking at you, the more likely you will not approach that night – so stop worrying about it.

    Sometimes I get a drink, but most of the time I just get a diet coke.

    The last thing worth mentioning is that, if you still find it hard to get over the hurdle of being there by yourself, one thing that helped me earlier on was outlining out in my head (or on paper) a map of the place that I am sarging alone – what this does is show all the possible locations that sets may be so that you have a contingency for what to do for every possible location. Why do this? Well, when you’re with a group or a wing, you can more easily move through the venue and stop and start in different places. When you first enter a bar by yourself you need to open quickly, so it helps to have a prior knowledge of the where all possible sets may be - you’re prepared.

    A problem with sarging alone - 2 Sets
    Of course the obvious problem with sarging alone is isolating, particularly 2 sets. When you’re with your wing, he adds another person to the set and it’s easier to steal your target away from the group. We all know by now that the obstacle in a 2 set does not want to be left alone and the target doesn’t want to leave her friend by herself.

    My game is not at the level where I can consistently merge forward, so I generally run 2 sets as long as I can just for the practice and see where it goes. It’s really good just to throw some new shit out there and see what the reaction is.

    Large sets are good
    One thing I have noticed is difficulty in sets over say 5 or 6 people. Perhaps its self limiting belief relating to where my game is at the moment. What I have found that the massive groups require a lot of control to keep all of them interested and they fracture into splinter groups more easily. Your energy level has to be even higher for larger groups, particularly with no wing. Often you wing can come in and help break up the group to enable you to isolate. In the big sets you have to be sure you have the whole group attracted until its time to work on your target.

    As in normal game, mixed sets are your friends. Open the guys, always. Then the whole set opens easily.

    The question: Why are you here by yourself?
    You know what, the question of why I am there by myself RARELY has come up – it is so rare that it’s really not worth worrying about it. Of course, a lot of the time it’s the confidence that you have something to say in any given situation – I’ve found the best line is “I was out with my friends and they went home, so I decided to make some new friends – guess what!! …..you’re my new friends” (a high five or a hug is good here). Remember of course you don’t even have to answer them, you can just stack into something else. You can always talk about it in comfort too.

    Don’t even bother opening with something like “I’m just waiting for my friends” or anything like that – in my opinion, there’s no need to lie about your friends coming later.

    I’ve actually found that at times I’ve WANTED to tell them why I was alone, my own type of qualifying, which of course is bad. I stopped doing this and found that it doesn’t get raised.

    It can be looked at as a DHV, as someone who has the confidence to go out and meet total strangers by themselves.

    Compliment Your Game
    Compliment it with your sarging with mates. You will notice that being alone will add another dimension your overall game – and that’s what this game is all about – experiencing different environments and gaining the social intelligence for any situation.

    Train yourself to get into a habit, whenever you can squeeze in a lone sarge.

    Where to from here? My next aim for sarging alone: improving forward merging of sets so that I can walk into a bar of strangers and end up owning the place. My current style is more of “under the radar” style, rather than the “look at me” style.

    Anyway, I’m sick of typing, I hope this helped some people out there.

    So if haven’t tried sarging along, try it! What are you waiting for?
    Last edited by Scooby; 03-08-2007 at 04:50 AM. Reason: Tidied up text that was messed up after web site transfer


    One day my signature will be multi-coloured, multi layered, and show links to my greatest posts.... for now italics will do me....

  2. 09-12-2006, 02:53 PM

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  3. #2
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    Awesome post scoobs....some really great points there.
    but seriously...sarging alone isnt better than going out with me and mystic for a sarge is it?....surely not?!!! LOL
    Quote Originally Posted by Scooby View Post
    You can use the opinion opener with the frame / look on your face of “oh, ill just ask them? and then ....
    ha ha...I love it when you have this look on your face....every time like clockwork too!...LOL
    Quote Originally Posted by Scooby View Post
    The question: Why are you here by yourself?
    You know what, the question of why I am there by myself RARELY has come up – it is so rare that it’s really not worth worrying about it. Of course, a lot of the time it’s the confidence that you have something to say in any given situation – I’ve found the best line is “I was out with my friends and they went home, so I decided to make some new friends – guess what!! …..you’re my new friends? (a high five or a hug is good here). Remember of course you don’t even have to answer them, you can just stack into something else. You can always talk about it in comfort too.
    Don’t even bother opening with something like “I’m just waiting for my friends? or anything like that – in my opinion, there’s no need to lie about your friends coming later.
    yeh good point scoobs....I usually try to think of something cheeky to say but sometimes even that can backfire since the question is a shit test.
    ill even throw in something along the lines of "Are you the type of person that needs to go out with friends?...oh no!" and then just stack a routine...

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    A detailed and origional thread....I just want to add that if you go out and just start talking with people and keep it up...you won't feel alone at all and an added bonus is you can open lone wolfs, who are the easiest of all to game!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scooby View Post
    I’ve also just tested the “walk straight up and ask them? approach. I’m in the frame of “fuck it, I don’t care what anyone thinks? – I get an especially big kick at doing this if there are a nearby group of guys eyeing of a group of girls and I just stroll past them and open the chicks – you can “feel? their eyes on you and the “WTF? expressions. Great feeling, especially for the ego.
    such a great feeling
    or when all ur AFC friends are talking about how hot a chick is and u just don't say a word walk over the her and start talking....actually thats probably the only good thing about going out with AFC's, while they dont' help ur game I think there a good motivation to get off your ass and make something of yourself

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    I loved it! never had real confidence to sarge alone, but I will eventually soon. That can help me being in a LTR, so I'll just go out of town so nobody knows me and there is no pressure, until I build the confidence enough.
    Great Post.
    Carpe Diem,
    Matthius

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    I'm lovin' it.
    In my experience, AFC wings tend to hold me back (especially ones who belittle my wanting to learn pick-up and don't believe that I can actually succeed with it).

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    Good post bro. I sarge alone all the time, In fact, I have never sarged with people. I think it is great, I can blame it all on myself. I hang out with a natural sometimes, but we don't exactly sarge.
    I get asked a lot about why am I there alone, and I just say "my friends went outside for a bit, they will come back at any moment" and when I get good at my game I tell the target, "you know what? the hell with my friends, we won't wait for them, let's go bounce somewhere else!".
    sometimes I go as far as pretending to receive a phone call. LOL
    regards to all.

  9. 09-12-2006, 08:03 PM

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  10. #8
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    Just a few comments.
    This helps when you live in a major city with a decent nightlife, and you have a mix of people from there and elsewhere (could be an hour away, across the country, or from another country). You can be the well known local or a complete stranger in town.
    If you're in an area where there are clubs grouped together (thinking Seattle, Boston, San Diego, Tijuana and Milwaukee), you can always go alone to another place and text your buddies to see how it is going and then go back. It's good if it's more of a bar setting, or if the nightclubs are connected to each other. Or one of the massive 3 story, winding hall venues. You have the option to have them with you or not.
    There's also when you have a convention going on, a lot of people from all over the place are either going to be alone or in groups, and you have people gravitating towards each other, complete strangers but best buds an hour later.
    There have been times I've gone out with friends to a place and wound up losing them. Do you go look for them, or hope for the best? I had gone to a place with my roommate at the time, he got ripped drunk, I met a girl that night, and he disappeared. For all she knew, I was by myself that night.
    If the bar/nightclub is attached to a hotel and your target is staying there, the night will turn into one big blur.
    This is mostly from travelling and going off doing my own thing and taking chances on my own versus trying to pick up in a far more competitive setting with people I knew, which wound up being about getting drunk with them. Some of those times are great, too.

  11. 09-12-2006, 11:25 PM

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  12. 09-12-2006, 11:27 PM

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  13. 09-13-2006, 01:18 AM

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  14. 09-13-2006, 07:22 AM

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  16. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scooby View Post
    A problem with sarging along - 2 Sets
    Of course the obvious problem with sarging alone is isolating, particularly 2 sets. When you’re with your wing, he adds another person to the set and it’s easier to steal your target away from the group. We all know by now that the obstacle in a 2 set does not want to be left alone and the target doesn’t want to leave her friend by herself.
    My game is not at the level where I can consistently merge forward, so I generally run 2 sets as long as I can just for the practice and see where it goes. It’s really good just to throw some new shit out there and see what the reaction is.
    Large sets are good
    One thing I have noticed is difficulty in sets over say 5 or 6 people. Perhaps its self limiting belief relating to where my game is at the moment. What I have found that the massive groups require a lot of control to keep all of them interested and they fracture into splinter groups more easily. Your energy level has to be even higher for larger groups, particularly with no wing. Often you wing can come in and help break up the group to enable you to isolate. In the big sets you have to be sure you have the whole group attracted until its time to work on your target.
    I find two sets great in a bar environment but in a club it gets more difficult i.e. ‘she’s got you but where’s mine?’ Then you get into a bad area of her desire to have fun conflicting with her loyalty to a friend she’s known since nursery versus a guy she met less than an hour ago.
    Three sets – fine – this problem doesn’t come so much as the other two have each other to fall back on while she takes off and enjoys herself.
    Four sets and above – I tend to avoid them when solo. I’ve read engage two or three, that it’s impossible to hold, say, six peoples attention simultaneously but when the rest of the group wander off I’ve found that no matter how well we’re getting on, they always want to do their friend the favour of ‘saving’ her. Sometimes she’ll be her own person and stick around – providing they’re not leaving the club and they’re going all of 15-20ft away to the bar or dance floor – but more frequently she’ll feel the peer pressure to stay with the pack and get pulled out.

  17. 09-13-2006, 03:44 PM

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    Hi,
    I just wanted to say a whole hearted thank you to scooby for the post and mystery (and others) for the VAH =)
    I'm new to running game on girls but im determined to learn fast. I've found sarging alone quite emotionally taxing so i've avoided it the last week or so (particularly after having a 'friend' destroy al lthe rapport i'd built with a girl by telling her about my induction into vanusian arts). After reading this article earlier today though i decided 'funk it, i'm going out tonight and closing'.
    I hit a local pub, opened a set. No real target but wanted practice. Then another set. I felt boosted and hit the union (i go to university) bar and oppened a set with the 'do i look gay?' oppener that worked a charm. It got them touching me, grooming me, fixing my cloths. I ended up chilling with them and then clubbing. I id so well building attraction my target (an astonishing blonde HB9) number closed me! we kiss closed, went back to hers and i could have f-closed but didn't want to be battling with buyers remorse next time i meet her.
    All i have to say is if u want to go back to a fine girls place tonight - GO OUT! Nobody to wing you, funk it, open a set of guys. They're your new wings - your social proof. I even helped a guy number close my HB9s french HB9 friend.
    She asks you: 'where are your friends?'
    They're at home, lonely, and unforfilled AFCs
    You can say pretty much anything if your already at the hook point: 'their on their way. Jimmy wanted some food but i decided to have a guiness 'a meal unto itself'' =)
    "Fortune favours the brave"

  19. 09-13-2006, 11:48 PM

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  20. 09-13-2006, 11:54 PM

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  21. 09-21-2006, 05:05 AM

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  22. #11
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    scoobs..very very nice work my man..
    some great pointers that i have now put to use in my game... i found earlier in my game i needed someone to be with me to sarge...now...im cleanin up like a council worker at a park..not to much but enough to get me paid lol
    all seriousness... this is where is it awesome in day game...by yourself so you can test yourself...this has paid off for me and im sure it will for all the guys here...
    best of here it comes

  23. 09-21-2006, 05:52 AM

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    Excellent post, definitely best of.
    It's made me think of how good it is to sarge alone (and how I might just do that tonight).
    About large sets (4+), you can still close (# only tho) from my knowledge, but act quick. The HBs fall back on each other and kill your game, so work the target for 10-15 minutes maximum, then get the hell out and day2.

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    Im stuck on sarging alone. Even when I take a few guys out with me Im still sarging alone. They will watch you and wish they had the courage to do what your doing but their ass doesnt leave the bar stool. If you have read the handbook or seen Mystery's videos your ahead of 75% of the people out there. Be like Nike just do it. If you want cheap practice go to a strip club. Its 20 dollars to get in but they have to talk to you. Fuck with them, at first they just want your money. When you see them settling for conversation instead your doing something right. Im a far cry from a PUA but I read the book on a plane from Dayton to Tampa and Im using it. Once I hit Key West I made an ass of myself with two three sets and then I meet some girls more open to what I was dropping. Johnny Death has it right. Most of your AFC friends end up blowing it for you. They end up hovering like Lovedrop advised against. You look like a tool because you brought your tool box. I would love to work with a wing or just another PUA, but until some show up around here Im on it alone and you better be too. You dont do anything well with out practice.

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    Mate great post - some original thoughts put down on this thread which are going to be handy for anyone serious about pick up. Going out alone takes guts, and if you don't have a wing then it is a better option than saying at home.

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    It's posts like this that make me say "eff it" I wanna go out sarging right now. Awesome suggestions dude. What I mostly picked up from your post was the idea of momentum; that is to say, start talkin with the bouncer, then the easy sets, and so on and so forth. I personally find the idea of sarging alone daunting but have done well at it in situations where I had legit excuse to be alone. I have to get more into the frame of mind where being alone is always legit. Thanks for the tips.
    -Clozer

  28. 09-22-2006, 10:02 PM

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  29. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Le Loup View Post
    Excellent post, definitely best of.
    It's made me think of how good it is to sarge alone (and how I might just do that tonight).
    About large sets (4+), you can still close (# only tho) from my knowledge, but act quick. The HBs fall back on each other and kill your game, so work the target for 10-15 minutes maximum, then get the hell out and day2.
    I think what Scooby was talking about was that during a group set, the set breaks up before you have a lot of rapport with both the group or the target. Doing a number close right then wouldn't be worth it because neither of you really know each other yet.

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    So agree ,
    Sarging alone enables you the flexibility to do crazy stuff without worrig about effecting your wing ,such as leaving the club go to other part of town and etc .
    This way u can also fade in with many groups in the club like you knowing everyone .
    So yeah I've been surging alone for a while and it' my faivorite routine these days .
    Cheers
    Rythmic_a

  31. 10-11-2006, 01:56 AM


  32. #18
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    Yeah dude, absolutely right on this point!
    Yesterday i went out sarging alone. First i opened one Warm-up set, then i went to the bar, open BL and teased a set of 3 HBs (Hb6,7, a. 8) Made Ec with HB8, before she looked away, i broke up EC and made a sort of cocky grin) You knwo what. She thougth, something is wrong with her and seeked validation from me. I love doing this so much! After 5 mins she came to the bar, of course close to me and ordered a drink. I looked at her, she smiled back. I went in and said:"You knwo what, you have a nice smile, but my dog can do this much better!" She with a WTF-look :"You have a dog!" ---> I was in! 15 minutes later i kissclosed her, after isolating her to another dance floor. Unfortuneately her younger friends were very annoying, searched after her and sticked with us together. So it was over. I got the phone number and a long goodbye-kiss. Maybe i meet her again. She was cute.
    I can absolutely recoment sarging on his own. Try it out. You will come across as mysterious and not the usual type of guy.
    Greetz,
    Daywalker!

  33. 10-15-2006, 07:35 AM


  34. #19
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    When sarging alone I have also discovered a few more tips.
    Go early, before it gets crowded. I find it is easier to get to know the 10 or 12 people in the whole place and it makes me feel more comfortable. Then as the crowds roll in later I kind of have a "base" to go back to. Plus, by slowly befriending people who come in I really get a lot more sarges in otherwise. I have more time to sarge, and a lot of people who come later don't see my initial approaches so it just looks like I have friends everywhere.
    My other tip is to make it a regular thing. Once or twice a week at the same venue will solidify the hired guns AND you'll see some of the same people over and over again. Running into the acquaintance connections at the same place more than once has the same effect as removing to another location. I've used this method to fully penetrate multiple friend circles and get introduced to "friends-of-friends" etc...

  35. 10-23-2006, 02:53 PM


  36. 10-29-2006, 04:17 PM


  37. 11-11-2006, 04:12 PM


  38. 11-12-2006, 11:14 PM


  39. #20
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    Really good post.
    In regards to the staged phone call, my psychology teacher was on the phone the other week and what I heard would of been a really great:
    1. DHV
    2. Way to get them to open you (If they can hear you)
    Basically I heard, "Yeah, the roads through Istanbul will be pretty dusty, and once we get into Mongolia it's gonna be hell. Did you fit the roll cage?" I had no idea what he was talking about but later discovered he was entering the 'Mongol Rally', which begins in London and ends up in Ulan Bator, Mongolia (It's a charity race, look it up).
    Then the next day he was on the phone talking about a recent time that he was getting harrassed by a shark while scuba diving. These are things you can pretty much freestyle with a few basic pieces of information (Location etc.)
    Just thought I'd mention that as an idea. You can look at it as lying and fake or you can look at it as a harmless tool to help you achieve your goal.
    -Flipmode =o

  40. 11-21-2006, 02:17 AM


  41. #21
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    Excellent post. Really. This is exactly true - if you want to go out for a laugh with your mates, maybe run a line or two, and pull ever once in a blue moon, do it.
    If you want to be a PUA, you need to be able to rely on no-one else but you. No-one.
    This is critical. If you get used to a wing, you're getting used to a crutch. If you can pull when you're out on your own - and it is a skill that you will develop over time - you can succeed.

  42. 11-28-2006, 08:07 PM


  43. 12-03-2006, 01:02 PM


  44. #22
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    Sarging alone kind of makes you not make any excuses, I've discovered, because people will start giving you looks and wonder why you are a loner and seem to not have a good time. Do you have any friends...why are you here...that kind of general nonsensical bullshit.
    This is where your skills as a PUA come in...if you're personable and have personality and aren't a bloody robot, you'll probably survive, because even if you are just walking around the bar a few times and have a smile on your face, simply waving to people or giving them high fives will make you that much more excited yourself about everything, make people see that you're enjoying your surroundings, and every time I am at a place, girls open me.

  45. #23
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    I totally agree - I started trying this out about a month ago and MOST times I've only been sarging alone, although my friends are about... somwhere in the venue... it just works so good
    Here in sweden you aren't allowed to smoke inside, so there is this smoking area outside the club - that is where the smooth talk kicks in... i always go out with a big fuckin grin and just open with whatever... and damn, a lot of girl out there like to bite necks, especially after me wearing my sunglasses with crystals on both sides and they ask "Why you have sunglasses?"
    Me: "Really wanna know? Cos i'm a *bloody* vampire, that's why... now be my mistress and bite my neck"
    Muahaha it's just so nice thanks for inspiration all of ya

  46. #24
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    Dont let time pass

    There is a moment when you are out alone that is very crucial for the rest of your night. It is when 3-5 minutes have past and you are not talking to anyone.

    If you let this time pass then it will affect you and you become self concious. You start to think : Now I am being seen all alone. This guy just saw me standing alone here for some time and must think I am weird. These girls next to me will KNOW that I am theres just to hit on them. And of course all of these thought are bullshit! You get caught in the mindset that everyone is noticing that you are alone there. And the reason is that you let time pass while standing there.

    So for me the trick is, as soon as I catch my self starting having these negative thoughts, I know it is because I let 5 minutes pass without talking to people. So I start to talk to whoever is near. And it goes away.

  47. 12-12-2006, 08:24 PM


  48. 05-19-2007, 03:30 PM


  49. #25
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    I have almost always exclusively sarged alone. Started doing it before I knew what sarging or being a PUA was back in my young raver days. I was the only guy that would go to regular bars during the week while my buddies waited on the big weekend all-nighters. I guess it still carries over today since I'm often out during the week wingless.

    The basic contingent of smiling is even bigger when you're sarging alone. It's one thing to walk in to a bar/club with 2 or 3 other guys and not be the one with a grin, but when you're by yourself you look up to something or extremely depressed if you're alone AND not smiling. You have to look okay with being on your own.

    My personal technique for dealing with groups of 5 or more is sticking with the set longer than I normally would if I were with a wing. As groups of 5 or more tend to splinter into at least two conversations anyway, my target usually ends up in a splintered 2 or 3 set. Instead of trying to isolate, I tend to end up invited into the larger group setting. This usually ends in a #-close because of the large group setting. On the plus side, making good with the group often aids in getting me invited to a location change, which adds comfort.

    I almost never get asked why I'm somewhere alone, but I do get asked who I'm there with. In Chicago, there are so many places and so many large places, it's easy to say that either your buddy/buddies are a couple doors down checking out a different spot or that you splintered in the crowd. With the former, I always like to add that we're planning to check in via phone to decide the best spot. When my target tells me to have them come to where I am, I usually neg her slightly on her being worthy of meeting them or neg her to the obstacle ("She's so bossy! How do you hang with her?")

    Just my .02 ...

    - ChiSwinger
    Last edited by Fader; 01-04-2008 at 11:58 AM. Reason: edited out irrevelant information

  50. 01-04-2008, 06:14 PM


  51. 01-04-2008, 09:36 PM


  52. 01-04-2008, 11:56 PM


  53. 01-06-2008, 08:10 PM


  54. 01-08-2008, 10:33 PM


  55. #26
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    sarging alone

    Scooby,

    any other good inputs regarding what I can say when I'm sarging alone and people wander why? (I noticed ppl here tend to look down to guys who wander alone in bars as AFC and losers, "...if he's got no friends to hang out with, there's probably a good reason why..")

    When I sarge alone, I used the "boring roommate" approach, saying my roommate and I were supposed to go out but he's a lazy ass man and stayed home watching the game.
    Sometimes I use my foreign accent to my advantage, saying I'm not from here (true) and I'm just visiting for a few days (not true, but this is somewhat a FTC).
    Of course I don't use the two approaches in the same bar, because if different sets get by chance to talk to each other or know each other, I'm off (if he has a roommate he's not a foreigner who's staying just a few days...

    Happy Sarging,
    Lallo

  56. #27
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    Make friends instantly

    Get the mind set from the start, that walking into a bar/club alone is fine, because it's YOU that's walking in there. Question, do you think that Donald Trump cares if he goes into a bar alone? of course not, because he's Donald Trump. Get that same mindset and confidence that it's perfectly fine, and you don't need to justify it. WHO CARES what people think right? if you're peacocking, you don't care what other people think.

    Walk in, and instantly approach a set, open it, get them to hook to your material, then you have friends already, and in your mind, that's who you came with to meet. Do this to as many sets as you want, then no matter where you stand or who you're talking to, you're with "your" friends right?

    I do this all the time and have met many people, plenty of girls, and the confidence it gives you is priceless.

    If it's ever brought up who I came with, I say something smart and change the subject. These are only two of thousands of examples:

    Open set, run routines,

    girls might ask : "who are you here with"

    me: "Well I came here to meet with my preist, but I think he might have stopped at the strip club on the way over"

    or

    me: "Well I'm actually a salesperson and sold this place a some drinking glasses a while back and wanted to come by and make sure they still worked"

    If delivered with enough confidence, humor, and the right voice tone, anything you say will work (although some responses will be better than others). Just try stuff out and see what you can come up with.

    RAIN

  57. 01-10-2008, 07:07 PM


  58. 01-13-2008, 03:19 PM


  59. 02-12-2008, 06:07 AM


  60. 04-27-2008, 04:31 AM

    Reason
    please find the original post and put this in there

  61. 08-17-2008, 11:50 PM


  62. 08-20-2008, 11:50 AM

    Reason
    please pm the poster the question

  63. 02-03-2009, 03:20 PM


  64. #28
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    GREAT post man. I would echo your thoughts that you MUST start opening sets immediately. And yes that can mean talking to the bouncer, or guys, or fat girls. Anyone. It's almost like there is an extra step when you are solo sarging. You have to first crack your shell and come out socially. That gets you to the same frame of mind as being in a club with your friends.

    Then second you have to open real sets! Move to warm up sets, so-so girls. Cute but NOT intimidatingly hot. Stay in set and get loose with them.

    THEN after that, go make approaches on girls you find attractive. If for some reason you walk in the place and you are just ON, then you can skip the first 2 sets. But that has never happened to me.

    As far as "Why are you here alone?" You just need a REASON. I do what you do. "Oh I was here with my friends but they left. What am I gonna' do go home??" Make LEAVING the more ridiculous option, not staying. You could even do, "I was suppossed to meet my Buddy Anthony here, but he just texted me that he's flaking out. What am I gonna' do now go home??"

    There is a stigma outside the community on INTENTIONALLY going out alone. People not in the community don't understand why you would do that. I think it's too much to get into to explain it all, so I just say my friends already left.

    If there is a sports game on, that can be your reason. If you are traveling on business flying solo is totally ok. It's not that you don't have friends, your friends are back in your hometown. You just need a REASON to be there, that's the important thing.

  65. 06-13-2009, 06:50 PM


  66. 09-13-2009, 04:35 PM

    Reason
    please post this is in the newbie forum

  67. #29
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    Love the post (didn't read all the replies so sorry if someone already covered the following)

    There is one thing I think is missing from the list of advantages to going out alone: When you are out by yourself, and especially if you are in a different town, you get rid of all the baggage that comes from feeling watched. No more big brother, it's just you. I have noticed going out with friends, while fun, has the implicit gnawing feeling that you have to conform to their beliefs and expectations, their disapproving glances and their own insecurities. This happens regardless of whether or not you actually want to impress them, I don't care how good your inner game is. Last night my new wingman was actually awesome about this, and he got an A+ in my opinion as far as not passing judgement, I felt like i was sarging alone with him, which is great and incredibly rare.

    Whenever I open a set and I'm with friends, they will often say shit like "why didn't she like you?", "What happened man? What went wrong?" or even a simple and well-intended "what did they say to you?" often puts me into an analytical, self-conscious state (since telling my friend what the girls said is often a case study in failure and rejection, why the hell do you think I walked away from the set, genius?). It's like a flashback from my early days, when I actually cared about every detail and worried about the outcome of every set. My female cousin, for example, knows that I do this. I've spoken extensively to her about it, and even if she doesn't quite get it, she claims to respect me for doing it. Which is why it's puzzling when I'm hanging out with her, I open a set in the daytime, and when I come back she's all like "who were they? are they your friends? interesting." That brief and perhaps subconscious disapproving tone in her voice just made it awkward, and it made me want to approach less that day, only when she wasn't around to pass judgement.

    Fuck your friends. In this area of your life, they are not your friends until you are finished obsessively studying this stuff on a regular basis. It is better to go solo, or with a very good wing. Naturals are ok, as are those few friends of yours who generally don't judge anything and don't seem to care about what people think. Those people are great, but hard to find and i think that if you're not advanced you should stay away from trying to learn this skill set while in the vicinity of potential peer pressure to drink, conform, and generally just suck. I've had a "friend" whisper into my ear after I got blown out "those girls looked like a beautiful flower, that when you went to talk to, withered into a pile of ash." Yeah. I know. Then he said: "you are a positive battery and they are a negative battery, so guess what happens when you put those two together? Zero." Needless to say, I don't go out with that guy anymore.

    Those are my two cents, I think you'll agree. If not, come find me somehow cuz i never check these forums. PEACE Y-AUL!!!!

  68. #30
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    Nice post, I think its as much inner game, as it is understanding our inherited approach fear as men, and just having the 'I don't care' attitude. Once you have this solid foundation, you can then build up with some of the techniques you've outlined. Once you get in the groove, and opened maybe 10 sets plus, should be a lot easier to actually improve your game.

  69. #31
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    Nice, thank you.

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    hey scoopy,great post and really true. i sarge alone mostly. it really helps at first ithought it is embarssing but now it is ok.
    i live in sydeny too, maybe we can sarge together sometimes.
    keepon the good work

  71. 02-03-2013, 10:58 PM


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    Great post, as shown by the fact it is still popular years after you wrote it. Really clarifies an important issue.

  73. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jangali View Post
    Great post, as shown by the fact it is still popular years after you wrote it. Really clarifies an important issue.
    I totally agree! This is a very nice thread. Sarging alone is an adventure and I always pat my back after doing it. I started doing it in the past 3 weeks and even though I am not yet successful, I still feel great knowing that I can manage to go out alone. I always tell myself that this is a good sign that I am already starting a new lifestyle and adventure. One question though that was not answered here is, what is someone you know finds you there alone and asks you, "are you alone?". I cant think of a safety net.

    I hope this thread will continue..thanks.

  74. #35
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    Great post!

    I love how you managed to pin down more or less every though going through my head in these situations. And even better: Putting a constructive spin on them.

    Thanks / E

  75. #36
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    Girl: "why are you alone?"
    Player: "So I dont have to listen to my friends whine about me taking all the girls.

  76. #37
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    I wonder what happened to Scooby..... seems to have not logged in since 2009.

  77. #38
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    When Kelly Bishop tried therapy, she wished she had seen a therapist much sooner. She offers reasons why you should try it too.
    1. Its Not For Crazy People
    2. Its Easier to Talk to a Stranger than Someone You Know
    3. You Learn New Things About Yourself
    4. It Takes You Out of Your Comfort Zone
    5. You Become More Self-Aware

  78. 05-14-2019, 06:02 PM


  79. 05-16-2019, 12:04 PM


  80. #39
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    http://bit.ly/2WQO0Gx -
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    :
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