Back at this like 10 years later, nervous and embarassed

Hi im Southpaw and im 32,

Roughly 10 years ago i got into PUA and stopped and for the life of me i could not remember why i stopped. Something this past year and a half triggered me to want to get back into it and remember what happened. I picked up this book, the rational male, and there was some truth in there that i was just not ready for. If anyone has read this book, you probably know what i mean. I had also joined the military where i have seen the worst of people in regards to ppl nocking up married people women cheating after a guy being away like 2 weeks ect. I was going through something like i was upset at how the world works in regards to attraction and dating.. I didnt want to date really and slowly came out of it. One guy who is ike 9 years or so younger on my ship(navy) also read the book and broke up with his ex round the same time after he realized she walked all over him. We where talking and he mentioned PUA,that he heard of it and wanted to fix that part of his life. We started meeting to discuss it and he wante dot know my old expereinces and why i left wich really forced me to face my past.

When i got into it i read alot of what i could get my hands on MM, DyD and whatever else i could find. I liked MM because I was a good salesmanUsed to manage at a car dealer in toronto) and could say anything to anyone. So once i had stuff memorized i could sayw hatever and look out for iois and decide how to progress... i progressed ok lots of failures, some great wins that still had sticking points ( picked up a girl so hot in a club that men high fived me,, made outw tih her but she had a bf and i didnt feel confortable trying to get her number.. but i should have, it was probly a lie) anyhow, i sraged with 3 dudes from a lair in toronto and negged a girl ina set we where all working who had low self esteem or it was wrong neg wrong time and she got pissed and left. so did her frineds, i felt terrible for blowing everyone out. so i took a break and sorta did the online dating thing wich was usually always just added girls for hookups.. slowly became fuller time.. I then went back to school and set my sights ona girl who men viewed as impossible to get. she has a bf of 2 years.. by the time i finished, she told me she was breaking it off with him for me and we slept together. she never left him and it destroyed me. in fact shes been sleeping round on him for a bit with some others. I never finished that program in college, ended up on anti depressants and working in sales for years.. Pathetic, i know, that why i pushed it from my mind. I went on a personal journey, still am of inner game, becoming a better me. I joined the military to hopefully do something to help others as Canadian military does with disaster relief ect. That led me here.. 3 years now in victoria b.c. With my friend talking to me about this, it made me realize things.. one im relying on tinder wich is nonsense to me, i never found women on there relationship material and inever got the quality i did in person. even if i was still learning pua and messing up in the past i did meet some great women. I soon realized i fear approaching women again when i used to approach sets talking about the two girls fighting about some midget outside. Any girls i met downtown who i picked up these past 3 years basically picked me up and my last real gf was a russian girl 9 years younger and beautiful about a year ago.. so i know theres some potential still there and im not a complete social reject. Anyhow, if you are still reading i let my friend know i'm in. I been follwing the same path i did before.. reading the game, venusian arts handbook.. i have bang.. but Id love a review on Rooshs stuff, its new to me. I have been writing down openers and routines.I did alot of reading and memory work before i started to approach. after I commit a couple to memory i will start approaching soon, though im really really nervous..

From what i've seen, it looks like the PUA community has died down? what happened? david deangelo is gone, strauss married a rocket then renounced PUA although he would never have gotten her without it.. I see mystery came back last year from his new website offering bootcamps for like double the price of the ones here. I read people like RDS wich i saw on youtube, but the Natural seems expensive and i already got my old literature. can anyone let me know what happened, maybe bring me up to speed, theres a ton of new Pus on youtube like toddv and such and i'd love to meet and make friends with other puas in the Victoria, vancouver, seattle area.