Significant life changes

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  1. #1
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    Significant life changes

    So bare with me on this one, a little background, how I'm feeling and then asking for advice at the end

    So recently my ex and I split up as she was a few years older than me and her biological clock was ticking. She already had two kids from a previous marriage and was wanting another child before she turned 40. I was not wanting this at the time. We tried living together and stuff and I just could not adjust to the living situation. We were together for 6 years. I was focused on getting through school, establishing myself in my career and just couldn't get used to a blended family. I loved her and we had a great relationship together and I miss her every day, but I feel like our differences of what we wanted were too much.

    Well I've finally started with a job I've been trying to get for a long time. I have no kids, a masters degree and I'm currently on track to get licensed which will increase my chances at an even better job significantly. I'm currently looking at houses to purchase. I work out regularly, sociable, funny and have been told on more than 1 occasion I'm a pretty attractive dude. I don't make a shit tone of money, but I love what I do and it pays the bills. In short, my whole life has literally changed within the past year or so

    Summarizing my situation the best I can, sometimes I wonder if I honestly am being too rigid with the blended family situation. Also, I try not to think this way, but I often times don't think I'll find anyone that was able to please me and have the relationship her and I did. Especially being in my 30s now and most of my social circle are people that are either married, have kids, or both. I know what I'm looking for in a woman, but a lot of times I'll think why would this chick want me or how do I even go about talking to this woman? Mind you, I'm in a career where my sole purpose of employment is talking to people! Any advice or change of perspective someone can offer is greatly appreciated.

    Sorry for such a long read, but any input is appreciated!



  2. #2
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    What's the question?

  3. #3
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    Rereading this I see your point! I think a lot of it I'm just venting. Talking to women again mainly. Like keeping a conversation going. How do I find the type of woman I'm looking for? My social circle is getting smaller. Just feel myself getting depressed thinking more and more about it

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    How do I find the type of woman I'm looking for?
    1. Deciding with some honesty, precision, and realism what that type of woman actually is.

    2. Placing yourself in settings where you're more likely to meet such a woman

    3. Approaching such women

    4. Promptly evaluating whether to pursue the ones you meet or not.

    a little easier said than done.

  5. #5
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    Follow your gut instinct.
    You didn't want to settle.
    Yes your circumstance has changed so there is a chance you may want to give it one last go.

  6. #6
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    I'm in the same boat you are. I'm 33, have roughly 7 years until I get my Doctorate, and my ex fiance left me 4 months ago. I was dating a woman this summer, who was everything I could want physically ( 5'1, 110lbs, worked out everyday, gorgeous, etc), but she had two kids from two guys. I grew up in a blended family and I KNOW first hand the bullshit that comes with that particular lifestyle. Now I do understand that not every situation with a blended family is shitty, and some folks have had a great time. But experience (and common sense) will tell you that there are normally more struggles than joys with that particular situation.

    You left because you wanted and needed to. Don't ever feel bad for making a decision that is in line with getting what you want out of life. It's too short. Do what makes you happy!

    Just define what you want, KNOW you are worthy of the attention and affection of the woman you desire, and figure out where that particular woman would be hanging around at and put yourself there. Just think how your life would be if you didn't do it.

    Like Jordan Peterson says, "To keep progressing in life you need to be going towards something, your idea of heaven. But at the same time you also need to understand what hell is for you, so that way you know what would happen if you didn't try to achieve what you wanted." (or something like that).

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