keeping the conversation going

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  1. #1
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    keeping the conversation going

    So maybe someone can help me out with this. I believe this is probably an esteem issue, but I'm kinda back in the single life now. I know what type of chick I'm looking for and really do not enjoy the bar scene anymore.

    So really my question is finding women in everyday life such as the grocery store, clothing stores, the gym....especially the gym. There are insanely beautiful women there and I am really looking for a chick that's active in the gym as well.

    There's some other issues that are kind of stopping me from meeting women, but hopefully that shouldn't be an issue in the next few weeks/months. My problem is though, 1 initiating conversation and 2 I always feel like I have nothing interesting to talk about. Like once I've gotten over that initial hump I can usually keep a conversation fun and interesting because it's just a natural part of my personality. I just have trouble initiating conversation because I never really feel like I know what to say. Anyone have this issue before? How did you get over it? Should I be more direct in public? Probably not so much at the gym, right?



  2. #2
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    I suggest you reframe your purpose here.

    Forget about your goal to "keep the conversation going." Conversation is a tool, not a goal. (unless you love conversation for its own sake, but if you did, you would probably be a master conversationalist already).

    Instead, think about what you actually want to accomplish:

    - Meet new people
    - Learn about those people
    - Learn FROM those people
    - Laugh & make others laugh
    - Share your own wisdom

    If you ever feel stuck in a conversation, break it down to something basic. Be authentic. Make statements of intent

    - "Hey I like meeting new people. I'm Conejitto, what's your name?"
    - "I like to learn about people. Where did you grow up?"
    - "I like to learn from people. Why did are you doing <whatever>?"
    - "I want to tell/hear a stupid joke. got one? Here's mine."
    - "I love to be a know-it-all. Let me tell you why I do <whatever>"

    ...

    In a larger sense, you'll get better with practice. Forget about talking to only women- start conversations with all the people you can stand until you get better.

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