How to be in touch with own emotions?

Iíve been told by quite a number of people that I need to be more empathetic to others. They said Iím too upfront and blunt with the things I say. In my defense, I donít want to blind others with my sugar coated words when I actually mean something else. My friends are saying this attitude is the reason why I canít keep a working relationship. In fact, a foreign affair matchmaker told me that I have to be touch with my emotions first before I establish any romantic connection with someone. So how do I get in touch? I tried the ďsoul searchingĒ thing while on vacation but I really donít feel any changes.