Project Rockstar 2018 - Pre-Training Fitness Program Weekly Journals - Page 2

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  1. #101
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    Another weekís gone and weíre one step closer to Vegas.

    My weight continues to go down, and I feel like over the past couple of weeks Iíve found a certain calmness from the sheer regularity and predictability of the process. Earlier in the process my emotions were more of a rollercoaster - Iíd get really happy if I had a week where my weight dropped significantly, but Iíd be disappointed in myself if it went down slower the following week. Now I feel like Iíve come to accept that

    1. I donít have 100% control over my daily weight, and a bunch of factors are going to push it up and down,
    2. some weeks are going to be better, other weeks are going to be worse, and the important thing is that Iím moving in the right direction,
    3. I donít gain anything by being anxious about the rate of weight loss. I should just focus on doing the right things - trust the process! - and be happy as long as Iím doing that.

    I recall the PR fitness manual we were given said that people on the fat loss program are expected to lose 15 to 20 pounds on average. Iím down 15 pounds as of this morning relative to day 1. Iíd be surprised if I hadnít put on a little muscle too, so perhaps actual fat loss is slightly more than that. I hope to make as much progress as possible over the last two weeks, but Iím certainly going to have to continue working on fitness during Vegas and after to get to a really ripped condition, and thatís okay.

    Tony Robbins says ďprogress = happinessĒ. Weíve all made a lot of progress over the past 10 weeks. I donít know if Ďhappyí is the word Iíd use to describe how I feel though, and Iím curious to hear how the rest of you are thinking about it. Iíve certainly gotten the satisfaction that comes from accomplishing something difficult. But I think the truly deep satisfaction (i.e. Ďhappinessí) will come from an identity level change, when Iím able to go from ďI proud that I stuck with a really difficult fitness program and lost a bunch of fatĒ to ďBeing fit is just who I amĒ. That's when you raise the minimum standard for what you're willing to accept from yourself. To be honest, I donít think Iíve made the transition to that latter mindset yet. But again, Iím sure itíll happen slowly over time as long as I stick to it- trust the process.

    Coming now to the week itself, I reduced my calories to 1500 calories this week. It wasnít as hard as I thought it would be, though I did have hunger pangs every now and then. Based on Claudioís advice - and heís been great at keeping us inspired and engaged throughout - Iíve also started pushing harder on the weights, generally try to start at higher weights and seeing how far I can push it. Between the lower calories and the higher weights, I was feeling the muscle soreness more intensely than before. But itís definitely worth pushing the boundaries for this last stretch.

    I had another bout of flu during the week - seems to be going around the office - which made a couple of the workouts pretty miserable. Loaded up to my ears on Vitamin C and tried to get a good nights sleep, though I havenít fully recovered yet. The extra rest was hard to fit in as well, because my work is really ramping up and we have a major deadline coming up this week. I had to work a good chunk of Saturday and a few late nights during the week too. Iím gonna be working pretty much non-stop all the way until I get on the flight to Vegas, so getting enough rest is going to be a challenge. Good thing I have a long, long flight during which I can sleep!

    Also coming up next week - my annual health screening. Iím quite curious to see how all this work will impact my blood markers, triglycerides, cholesterol, my blood pressure and everything else

    Iíve gotten more compliments on my weight loss recently, and my shirts at work are really starting to swim on me. Am looking forward to buying new clothes in Vegas!

    Hope the rest of you guys had a good week!



  2. #102
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    Week 10
    Another week flown by and only 2 weeks left of the fitness portion of the program and 3 weeks until Vegas!

    The week started off with legs on Monday, which is something that I really like as the majority of the guys train chest on Monday. On the schedule today was DTP supersets. It is basically sets of 50,40,30,20,10 and then reverse. DTP is officially what I hate the most of the fitness program. At the end of the leg workout I felt like I was going to black out. I still had dumbbell lunges left, but after some more pre-workout and a banana I was ready to get back in there. The worst part actually came after the workout. I had work right after my gym session and a work I sit a lot on my knees which led to me cramping continuously on my 14-hour shift. Looking back on it, it was probably due to lack of salt, as I had a hard workout and then right off to work. I might also buy some magnesium. Lesson learned for next time!

    On Tuesday we had yoga again, if you guys remember from my previous blog post I mentioned that I did not really have that much progression last time on both stretching and yoga. This time however, was much better. I really focused on breathing properly and I did way better than last week. Yoga really makes me relax and doing yoga late night after work I slept like a baby right after. Being tired from work probably played a role but doing yoga with focus on being present and breathe properly really feel like detox for my brain and I sleep much better. This is also something I have experienced when I have not been working and just done Yoga, so it is definitely something to it.

    On Wednesday it was time for my beloved DTP sets for chest. This felt a lot better than the DTP sets for legs. I do not know why, but the leg workouts always really kill me. This workout went great – slept like a baby the night before and killed it at the gym. Great feeling! Had a super hectic day at work and was up to 2 am just to get all my food in. I really find the eating part of the whole fitness portion the hardest. Having hectic days combined with working out and the eating really takes a lot of time. I am trying my best to eat every 3 hours or so, but sometimes that is just not possible for me as work is so hectic these days.

    I had to do some changes on Thursday. Originally it was supposed to be x-stretch, but I saved that for when I was going to the summer party on Friday and Saturday and hit the shoulders instead. Shoulders is something I really enjoy training. Having big shoulders really makes your physique 10x better and really helps for the V-shape that everyone wants.


    Friday and Saturday, it was time for the summer party. Such a cool thing. It is basically a party that last for 2 days and everyone sleeps over at the place and start drinking again the next morning. It is almost like a festival without live music. It must have looked so weird as I brought with me tons of food and some training clothes and no alcohol. I did get some questions about it, but I just said I was focusing on my fitness for a while and having some months without drinking. All in all, a great party!

    Sunday it was time for back and arms. We finally had some more deadlifts. That is something I have missed during this fitness program. Some old school heavy deadlifts where you feel like your eyes are about to pop out and your entire body is shaking. Good shit.

    Another good thing was that France beat Argentina. Mbappe basically beat Argentina on his own and only 19 years old! What a player! Mbappe 4 president. France will meet the winner of Brazil vs Mexico which will most likely be Brazil. France vs Brazil is going to be one hell of a match. If France beats brazil I think they have very high chances of actually winning the world cup, and I will be $1200 richer which will come in Handy during the program (cocaine and hookers).

    This was the first week since I was allowed to introduce Farmers walk into my training that I was not able to do them. Work the last 2 weeks has really taken a toll on me, and I find it hard to recover, and especially my grip has been completely destroyed for the last 2 weeks. On some days I was not even able to fully open my hand. From my experience farmers walk can be quite taxing on the CNS I decided to drop them this week to try and recover a bit faster. Also, I would not have been able to walk with very much weight before losing my grip, which probably would reduce the effectiveness of the exercise.

    Next week we are starting off with Yoga. Hopefully I am able to keep progressing in both yoga and the stretching sessions. Since it is only 2 weeks left. My main focus during the last weeks is to go insanely hard at the gym and try to up my intensity some more. I am also not working as much this week as I have done the last 2 weeks, which really makes things a lot easier when it comes to eating every third hour and recovery.

  3. #103
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    Week 10
    Its Monday evening and I just got back to my skydive drop zone to try to squeeze in 10 or so jumps. However the second I got here it was like all my energy just went out of me like hot air from a balloon. Itís a bit cold and not a lot of people I know here at the moment and since Iím just not in the mingle mode at the moment I just went back to the room and laid down, might as well catch up on this blog sooner rather than later.

    This past week havenít really been anything special workout wise or nutritional wise. We are getting closer to the end by every single day that passes and next week is the official last week of the program. But I believe we already reached maximum intensity so I feel like I got it under control. Iíve managed to break through the mythical 80kg line that I passed many many full moons ago and Iím now down to 79.1kg. This means Iíve lost 10.5kg since day 1. However this is only half the truth since I been burning fat like a madman while building muscles almost at maximum efficiency, sŚ the total amount of lost weight in fat is probably up to around 13-14 kg. However, I won't find that out until I do my last bodpod after next week.

    I can't really say what my exact body fat is neither but the two home methods weíre using are telling me my body fat at the moment is around 17% already. Now I donít know if you remember any of my earlier blog posts but on my last bodpod, the technician and I estimated that I should probably end up on around 17% by the end of the program and honestly there is quite a bit of error margin in both the navy method and my super scale so Iím most likely a bit off, but since Iím lacking any other more precise means of measuring at the moment Iíll stick to 17%, which means Iím ahead of schedule and that 15% by the end of the program looks more and more possible.

    In a perfect world Iíd like to be down to around 9-11%, but even at 15% I should have a visible six pack which depending on who you ask is either a first time for me or a very very long time ago. I wonít stop working on my fitness now that I have a pretty solid understanding of what works and so on, but I won't be able to get down to 10% before rockstar. Still, 15% is a win in my book since I started out at 29% 10 weeks ago. It's crazy to reflect back on how much my body has changed since day 1.

    This week has also been interesting because Iím starting to get a lot more compliments and feedback from people. It might just be me passively filtering but it feels like the compliments started raining down on me as soon as I broke through 80kg. (Can you tell Iím super excited about weighing less than 80 kg?) Some people get confused saying did you get bigger or smaller and I can only answer: Both! Some get absolutely shocked when they learn that I lost over 10kg in 10 weeks. When I checked in for my first jump this weekend and they had to enter my weight into the data system the girl in the manifest said ďwow you lost quite a bit of weight since last year.Ē and when I said that I lost 10 in 10 she screamed ďWHAT?Ē and then she was silent.

    Ironically I didn't know what to say or do. I almost felt bad for losing so much weight, because I donít want anyone to scream at me hahaha. I have to say however that I find it increasingly fascinating how much better people seem to treat you the fitter you get. I donít think this is done on purpose but I definitely notice a difference. Iím not going to get into any discussion if this is right or wrong because frankly, I donít care. Anyone can get a gym membership and get into shape so not doing it is basically leaving money on the table.

    Roughly a week ago one of the other guys shared a link to a forum thread dedicated to discussing our, the members of rockstar, existence. But not only was the topic of our existence popular but also the topic that you have to look like a model to even get in on rockstar. Iím sorry to bust some of you people bubbles but I personally don't think anyone looked like a model 10 weeks ago and frankly no one looks like a model after either. However we all look a hell of a lot better so here's my tip to you: If you believe your looks is what stands in the way for you getting your dream girl, get off your ass and start lifting something.

    Also, a little side note, not only is every member of project Rockstar real, they are all highly motivated people that want to become the best versions of themselves, and we are all ready to make sacrifices to get there. In the end, thatís what will really separate you from the heard.

    Iíve also started to get some heavy attention from this new chick I met roughly a week ago. It's a girl I heard a lot about through some of my other friends who met here way back on Thanksgiving but since I was in the US on Thanksgiving I haven't met her until now and I have to say we really seem to click. It will be interesting to see how that plays out!

    For now, Iím just going to catch up on some sleep I think and then get up early tomorrow and get my workout done so I can spend the rest of the day in the sky hopefully! Talk to you all soon!

  4. #104
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    24-Jun-18 Week 7

    The “down week” carrot, spoken about/posted on FB this past week, has continued to fuel my positive progress on the Fitness front. This week I have taken extra care and effort to ensure I am pushing all my maximum weights at the gym and my body, although still in chronic pain and fatigue, has generally accepted that it will be in pain and I’m able to subjectively say I have been feeling (and looking) “great”.

    Another big achievement this week has been getting my older brother into the gym with me!!! He recently returned after “living the life of indulgence” for a month in Asia (Japan + Bali + Hong Kong), and was saying he wants to go to the gym. So I offered to keep him accountable, and on Monday, despite it being a “rest day” (rest days are still at least 40 mins of cardio + 20-100 minutes of abs or stretching/yoga workouts), I went into the gym with him! This means I did a full day’s workout + the rest day all in one day! That means I’m one less day behind everyone else in the fitness program and I stuck with that!

    I also had a bunch of personal and business things happening and intensifying, but I stayed true to all of the nutrition and fitness requirements!

    Finally, huge progress this week on the Physical Therapy (PT) front; in case I didn’t specifically talk about this before, this is my effort to complete the rehabilitation of my right leg calf muscle after experiencing an Achilles’ tendon rupture several years ago. So the progress: I have been consulting with my PT to begin jogging ahead of my trip to Poland where I plan to do jogging 2-3x per week over 2 weeks, and we actually pushed it and started sprinting instead! I know this may not sound like much to people, but I hate jogging, always preferred sprinting, and I haven’t sprinted, for fear of re-injury, for at least 7 years!!

    The bad: my right calve was on FIRE! Continues into second day; I have been limping, but feel the tension slowly releasing. Third day was a little better, only half limping half the day. Continue to stretch the affected part on a daily basis and still sort of limping at the end of the week.

    As if the calve muscle injury wasn’t enough, on Friday I experienced my first food poisoning episode in months! I was tired and lazy on Thursday and didn’t get any fresh chicken breasts. So I decided to utilize a few frozen chicken burgers that I had procured for guests who come visit. The food had very decent macros, and most importantly, the right proportion of protein for the calories I had remaining that day. So I fired up the barbecue, and fed myself and my brother who was visiting with these tasty chicken burgers. Now, it’s not that they were bad or under-cooked; it’s just that after a month and a half of no processed food, having 3 of these burgers (over a period of 6 hours) was probably a bad idea. The next morning I had a bad stomach ache, and although the good supply of fiber I maintain helped in having smooth bowel movements, the stomach pain persisted with 0 appetite. I decided to try and go to the gym (getting my brother in to the gym for a 3rd day in a week), but my stomach pain only got worse as the workout progressed. At 90 minutes, I decided that there was no point in trying to push through the full workout (I was a solid 20-60 lbs off my max weight and struggled to make full sets).

    I spent the rest of the day curled up in a ball until I finally smoked some green, felt a little hungry, ate 400 grams of strawberries (not the richest source of fiber but strawberries are local and in season here in Canada) which managed to kick-start my metabolism a few hours later (albeit with very stinky after-effects for the rest of the night).

  5. #105
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    1-Jul-18 Week 8

    This week was riddled with side-tracks and emergent issues. Our house network became infected with a VPN Filter Malware that caused our ISP to suspend our internet service every day for a bit over a week while we attempted to troubleshoot and clean all infected routers and servers – what pain since I haven’t been able to upload anything! This threat is not a trifle and the fix was more so not trivial, so check out the link! I’m now in the process of (remembering and) changing all of my passwords on all of my devices. It isn’t until something like this happens that you realize how much you rely on stored passwords!

    The fitness this week started a little choppy as I needed to re-organize my workouts while my injury/fatigue/irritation in my right leg/calve worked itself out. I was still half-limping at the beginning of this week and after checking with my coach, I was allowed to skip the one and only one “Leg Day” while my leg recovered.

    I went in for my last physio appointment and heavily put my leg through its paces to get the green-light from my PT (Physical Therapist). His professional opinion was that the leg suffered no permanent damage and it was just a case of a “pissed off” muscle (ie. Forced to do something it hasn’t had to do in years) which simply requires a prolonged recovery from an intense workout. We did some running on the treadmill but my leg was still full of cramps and we decided to give it another day or two to recover.

    I also scheduled a massage therapy session the same day (after PT) and this was just exactly what my muscles needed! I spent 90 minutes with my MT (Massage Therapist) who is amazing and I’m sorry to say that I’m losing her as she is moving away from Toronto back home across the country to Victoria (west coast). I’ve been in to see her every other week for about 2 months now and we’ve developed a relationship that I have come to rely on as part of this general fitness program.

    I described to her the pains and limited mobility with my legs after the sprinting session the previous week, and she got straight to work. When she got to my legs, it became apparent that it was not just my injured leg that had become “pissed off” (words of my PT lol) but also my “healthy” leg. Of the 90 minutes, I’m certain we spent ~60 minutes just on my legs. I used a combination of the hypnotropic breathing techniques I learned during my 10-day in NYC, and the breathing techniques learned from doing the StretchX and YogaX sessions we perform during our “Rest Days”, to disconnect my mind. This allowed the MT to do what she does best without my mind freaking out from the intense pain and causing a cramp/spasm to develop during the massage, thus hindering relief.

    LESSON: As with all the meditation, stretching, and yoga we have done so far, if you just allow yourself to endure the discomfort a little longer than your mind tells you that you can endure, the results are often AMAZING! By not allowing your mind to freak out (by focusing on your breathing and not the mind’s chatter), usually within 2-3 minutes, the pain subsides and your body releases its tension with much gratitude. But be forewarned: the experience raises your pulse, it feels like you’re going to die (or something else horrible), and it definitely feels like doing a workout (even though you are just “lying there” getting a massage lol).

    All told, I walked out of the MT session with a full on limp, but OMG, every one of my leg muscles that were in spasm/lock/cramp, had been worked out. We agreed that I would delay the calves portion of my shoulder/calves workout until the next day (which happened to be a leg day – good fit), and to my utter amazement, the next day I was able to jog for 10 minutes and push every one of my leg workouts to new max weights with minimal pain (of course I stretched a solid 20 minutes just to make sure I didn’t cause any new injuries).

    From this point, my fitness has progressed pretty amazing with a 4-in-a-row “non-rest-day” workouts where I have pushed and surpassed max weight on almost every exercise. I feel like I have pushed myself in a very healthy way and have felt a very high level of intensity. Furthermore, all the pain that used to be crushing me (both physically and mentally) has finally started to turn into something I look forward to (probably just a new addiction to the intense amount of endorphins now regularly released by my body).
    This week I have also glimpsed the much discussed DTP workouts – at risk of eating my words next week, I kind of really like this approach to working out. Let’s see if I still like it in a week’s time!

    My nutrition has stayed mostly on track, however, in the last two weeks local strawberries came into season, and I have indulged a tad too much, pushing my sugar intake above the targeted 50g per day. Despite this indulgence, I have hit an all-time low in both my body weight and fat levels:
    Average Week 8: 172 lbs (~78 kg) and 13% body fat based on the average of the daily Navy Fat Measurement and handheld scan device (while minimum weight was 170.2 lbs, an all-time record).

    Sadly I was not able to schedule a week 8 DEXA scan as I miscommunicated with the operator who is away on vacation. Since I will be out of the country for the next 2 weeks, I hope to get a 3rd and final DEXA scan when I am back for 4 days (July 20-24) before I fly out to Vegas.

    I was hoping to validate the body fat % to be sure that I have finally hit <15% body fat, but based on the several social functions I attended this past week, everyone who hasn’t seen me in >1 month is utterly blown away by my new appearance. Even guys at the gym are paying me compliments acknowledging that the last 2-4 weeks have really been noticeable in my progress on the loser track (#shredding).

  6. #106
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    Week 8
    This is late getting posted because my plans all week kept getting screwed up. In particular, I had a 7.5 hour flight delay on my way to a sports competition. (It would have been faster had I driven, but the airline credits I got mean that I made money on the trip.)

    Traveling on the Rockstar diet is hard, but not impossible. I’d still recommend that you try to avoid doing it if possible. (Honestly, if I’d known that I was going to get accepted to Rockstar a few weeks into the fitness program instead of being definitely rejected, I’d have done a lot of stuff differently to better prepare.)

    I got a lot of complements from famous coaches and athletes on how I’m looking so that has boosted my morale somewhat. OTOH, my elbow is still not fully healed, so it’s basically limited me for the entirety of my fitness program which kinda sucks.

    My weight continues to go down and it still seems like mostly fat loss. There’s still more belly fat to go before my abs start showing, but it’s improved enough that I look completely ridiculous in my current clothing. I’m hoping that I’ll continue to improve during Rockstar and eventually get to the point I want to be at.

    Because I wear glasses, Andrew suggested trying to get lasik or at least considering contacts for Rockstar. I had tried contacts a long time ago and couldn’t handle it, but I’m going to give them a try again. I looked into lasik and found that one of the top guys is in my town, but because of the way my eyes are, he wanted me to try doing orthokeratology first and coming back if that didn’t do it. Unfortunately, *that* process takes about 6 months with regular visits for adjustments, so I’d have had to have done it way back.

    I’ll do all of that when I get home, but in the meantime, I’ve got an appointment to get fitted for contacts to try them out. And I’ll get a better looking pair of glasses for use during Rockstar incase the contacts don’t work out. I usually like to have two pair of a given type so that I have a backup, but I’ll get one for now and either get the other during the fitness transform or wait until I return.

    I’ve mostly tied up the loose ends I need to finish before Rockstar. The only thing still on my plate is the annual meeting for a charity I’m on the board of and a few other meetings related to that. So I think it’s going to be good between now and Vegas.

  7. #107
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    One more week to go!

    Iím now pretty much down to the weight I was at when I first graduated from university at age 21. But the scale doesnít tell the entire story. Iíd never done a day of resistance training in my life until well into my mid 20s. So while I was at this weight when I graduated, I was more a 73 kilo amorphous doughnut-like blob at the time. Now Iíve definitely gotten some muscle definition, so my overall body composition is better at the same weight.

    I still have some road to travel when it comes to fitness - Iíve gotten down to about 20% body fat from nearly 30% at the start of the program. I want to keep working on steadily cutting till I get down to 10-12% and then work on increasing muscle mass and end at 15% or so. Of course I wonít be able to get there in the next one week, so this is going to take some work during and well after Vegas.

    But overall, while I didnít get to that ideal state over these twelve weeks, Iíve learnt to appreciate what progress I have made. While that might seem like a small thing, itís quite a big deal to me. I have a very strong tendency to focus on the negative no matter what I accomplish. I usually beat myself up for getting to anything short of ideal, and sometimes even if I get to whatever I deem Ďidealí, I retroactively tell myself that it was only because I set my sights too low. Itís a very odd feeling to continue to beat yourself up even while youíre simultaneously receiving a lot of external validation, for instance compliments from friends for having lost a lot of weight. A lot of my Ďachievements' in life have been motivated by that insecurity, to avoid letting myself down or feeling like a failure, rather than because of positive, healthy reasons.

    Over the last couple of weeks Iíve sort of forced myself to catch those thoughts when they arise and say ď Im far from perfect, but I have made good progress, and I need to take a moment to appreciate that and maybe even cut myself a little slackĒ. Intellectually, I know that mind set is messed up. But I havenít been able to break out of it. (And Iíve beaten myself up for my failure to break out of that mindset too. The mind is a funny thing).

    On to more positive things -

    I had my annual health screening checkup earlier this week and I got the results late in the week. The numberís donít lie so Iíll let them tell the story:

    Total cholesterol: previously 181 now down to 151
    LDL: previously 112 down to 109
    Triglycerides: 151 down to 81
    Blood pressure: 140/90 down to 109/44
    Fasting glucose: 99 down to 82

    The blood pressure in particular was impressive to me because the last month has been extremely stressful at work, Iíve had to go in to the office 3 weekends in a row, and I figured my blood pressure would be higher while I juggled that and the 2-3 hour commitment for the fitness program since my cortisol levels mustíve been high.

    The only areas of concern were a low HDL (down 47 to 32) and a high uric acid measurement, putting me at risk for gout. The doc recommended I eat more fish, avocado and nuts and a little less meat/protein to reduce the purines in my diet. That was somewhat ironic because I was avoiding avocado and nuts intentionally these past few weeks due to the 20% fat requirement on the diet. Perhaps I need to re-calibrate a bit once the program is over. Claudio tells me thereíll be a session on long term diet and fitness, so lIím ooking forward to that. Thereís quite a bit of conflicting information out there on diet and exercise, so itíll be good to get some credible information on these areas.

    The results gave me a bit of a boost to get through the DTP workouts. They continue to be crazy difficult - my legs are still sore from the leg press DTP workout a few days ago - but with just one week to go I intend to give it my all. With Vegas getting closer I find anxiety creeping up now and again, but so far Iíve been able to keep it in check - focus on the process, focus on the workout, focus just on the next rep you have to do. Hope that continues to work!

    Thatís all from me for this week. Hope the rest of you had an awesome week 11!

  8. #108
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    Week 10 - Monday July 2nd, 2018

    Vlog - I will share some of my background and the ups and downs in my life on the video and maybe summarize/ highlight a couple things on this blog. I can’t wait to meet and get to know each and every one of you in person. We are still close!!!

    Great Week & Many More Ahead for Us!

    Fitness - For the first time in my life I started to having a headache while at the gym. It was on Monday’s leg day. It was unreal. I was pushing through those DTP sets the best I could and dealing with the headache. It doesn’t matter. I FINISHED. The rest of the week wasn’t too bad. I am back to being annoyed that I am spending 3+ hours at the gym. Since that is the only issue, no major soreness, injury free, weights looking good and body looking good, I am very grateful with the discipline and progress. Looking forward to a lower maintain fitness routine.

    Oh yeah, I went to a friend’s birthday party on Friday. I haven’t seen that social group since March. They were all amazed how built I have become. I was obviously flattered and accepted their complements and ended talking about fitness with them for a bit.

    Gym/ Yoga/ Stretch
    - Aside from the headache above, I am really starting to like going to the gym, yoga, stretch and even the ab ripper. I still have trouble with a couple of the ab ripper exercise and still need a couple break in between. I still can’t do the shoulder stand on the yoga but I have noticed a huge improvement in my flexibility.

    Social Circles & Communities - With greater discipline with my fitness, mindset and daily routines. All the positive actions I have taken over the past months and weeks has led to me being a part of a new community of friends. I love our FB Messenger group of guys where we continue to know each other and support one another online.

    I have also met some local wings who have been working on themselves for quite some time and continue to take action in both game and life. Last week, one of the guys lead a talk which walked through high levels of game with the focus on being the Best Version of Yourself. I am sure Andrew’s seminar will be this talk on steroids. He has been in game for about 8 years and could probably past off as a Rockstar alum if you meet him in person. Basically, we have a handful of guys that go out during the weekends and we would organize to have weekly thursday learning session among ourselves. Yeah, some of the guys could be flaky, but we are all in the growth mindset and everyone is open minded, eager to learn and taking action. I truly can not wait to be with you guy to live and breath this with you for 9+ weeks!!!

    Game - My friend and I pull two girls after the bar but we didn’t close. Ended up being a great learning experience. In addition, I have been getting looks when I am out like Friday night at my friend’s birthday party and at a rooftop bar. It was interesting. I was talking to one of the girls we ended up pulling and this one girl walks by and did a double take on me. She was cute too. I gave her a brief look but stayed in the set.

    An Old Friend - It is absolutely true about law of attraction. I ran into an old friend last Thursday when I was out gaming. We went to college together and lost touch afterwards. We chatted for about half an hour but we have so many similar interests and in a way aspiring for similar things in terms of business and career. We have similar interest in stocks and real estate. He has taken a lot of action over the past several years to an accumulate an impressive portfolio and continues to work his ass off. I shared with him some of the rough patches of my life over the past several years and he provided encouragement. Even offering to have me stay with him if I need to after Rockstar even though I did not ask.

    3 Daily Gifts - Practicing daily affirmation and gratitude had helped enormously and I have found them very rewarding and easy to do at the start of the day. I have been able to meditate here and there and am working on getting in a consistent 20 minutes per day. I have noticed that this practice had helped had a positive influence on my internal dialogue. This past week have I been waking up later which I could better use the time. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to get back on track with my morning routine and more effectively use my time to work on the important areas of my life before Rockstar.

    In any case, the feeling of love for myself is starting to take hold. Much of the weight of shame and unlove is being lifted. I am still scared of the uncertainties lies ahead but I will do it with love and by being exceptionally capable person.

    Shifts after reading No More Mr. Nice Guy, Obstacle is the Way & Way of Superior Man

    HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

    These books are embodied the wake up call I need in my life in my life right now. As a 35 year old adult having been through good and shitty times, I have started coming to realization many of the concepts from the book in piece meal. It is definitely not an understatement to say that my mind is blown and I have become a much better and enlightened person after reading them. I am going to re-listen/ read them again and note the key points to make sure these concepts and lesson stay with me and grow with me long after reading them.

    The NMMNG book definitely called out 100% the person that I was a growing up and up to several years ago. I am still working on having strong boundaries. Its funny. One of my friends from SuperConference mentioned, “You are a nice Asian guy living in Minnesota.” Talk about not being able to project masculinity. After reading this, I understand I have to be selfish when it comes to my purpose, direction and desires and be ok with wanting what I want and going after it. My default setting was to always be friendly and help others. I am still going to own but just on my terms and for people that deserve my help.

    The Obstacle is the Way. The chinese word for “Risk” has two parts: Caution and Opportunity. This book focuses our mind and energy on the opportunities that life’s obstacles provide us. In a way, we are all offer different sets of obstacles/ advantages. When you turn those obstacles into advantages that often are not available to other people, you become way better. Of course, exceptional and very difficult obstacles require exceptional and often superior perseverance along with other skills that one has to acquire along the way.

    Superior Man was a great read on its own. First be a purposeful unwaver driven man. Then understand the feminine nature and why she does what she does. I love the perspective on women’s energy. How some women have higher swings in energy and that the reward is that their radiance would be incredible when they are at their best but you will need to be on your toes at all times as she will test your weaknesses more often and need your help to mitigate or avoid the downswings. I just really appreciate the whole entire perspective on women that this book offers in general. Once you are able to view women as the embodiment of love, healing and best growth companion a great man can have, you will deal with whatever a quality women will throw at you because it makes you better and in turn makes her better/ happier/ give more love.

    I highly disagree with this quote that I keep seeing everywhere, “Don’t wish that life was easy. Wish that you were better.” That is a shit quote. Whoever said that should be shot. The word “Wish” should be removed from the English language and children stories.


    2017 SuperConference Weekly Group Continues
    Since you guys are familiar with Project Rockstar and Love Systems, I would assume you guys are familiar with the annual SuperConference meeting in Vegas. I went to it last year at the end of August. That is also where I met Kris and Peter. During the weekend, in addition to learning game, I also did my best to gather other people’s contact information and put together a Facebook Messenger to help everyone stay in touch and maintain momentum.

    It has been nine months and I am proud to say that we are still going strong. We just had our call on Sunday night. We had been good about keeping the calls to every week or every other week. Usually there is just 3 to 5 guys on the call. Kind of like what we do every week on our blogs/ vlog. However, we simplify it to: how everyone is doing in game, talk about recent developments, success, sticking points and goals for upcoming week. Usually the guys in the group would give each other feedback and encouragement. I have invited a couple speakers on our call to talk about: social circle game, tinder game and how to create sexual tension. I believe this is also what happens after Project Rockstar where we do a weekly call of some sort. Of course, we will be reliving our crazy stories, talking about our next adventures and retelling our many many stories about “THE Dungeon”.

    It is interesting how time flies. How everyone’s lives is so different. How everyone has their own unique set of challenges in game and in life. It is interesting how we can talk on and on about all these amazing things we have done and get hung up on how one tiny thing is not going quite well in their lives and which nelgate the energy from the amazing things they have done. There are 30 or so guys on the thread, but really only a handful come on the call. Some have been honest telling me they are scared or embarrassed to come on the call because they have nothing to report. Others just lurk when we type back and forth. I have been at times the lurker. I have been at times the guy embarrassed and ashamed to dial in because I had done nothing and some of the other guys have been taking action and having massive success. For me, things have gotten exponentially better this year especially the last few months.

    In any case, I am grateful for having assembled this group and that everyone in the group has improved or at least are in a better place in their lives even though it has been 9 months later. I haven’t told the group about going on Project Rockstar. I had only mentioned it to one of the guys in the group that I met up in person in Dallas who will be attending the 10 Day Simplified Natural Bootcamp this summer. Other than that only my roommate, a close friend in Dallas and a great wing/ friend that I have grown close to over this year knows that I am going on Project Rockstar and about the program. My plan is to let them know on the last call before going on the trip and teach them what I have learned from the past 12 to 16 weeks. Obviously I won’t be leading call when I am on Rockstar, but I definitely want to pick it back up again when I complete Rockstar and my travels.

    I believe some of them are working on putting together a Rockstar like gathering around end of July which is awesome. Unfortunately I won’t get to gather with them. I will be meeting up with you guys in Vegas then to Europe then to Sweden.

  9. #109
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    Week 8

    Hey guys,

    This week I came back to Cali, my hometown in Colombia. It’s been great to see my family and my friends. I’m a bit exhausted from the last few days as I was traveling and then had to hit the gym, but it feels good to finish the week in shape. I’ve lost some weight and fat throughout the program - and I’m definitely enjoying the compliments here, but now I have to work on gaining some muscle mass, so I’m gonna be working out hard during the next two weeks.

    I’ve been reflecting about the fitness program, especially since It became clear that I’ve had an attitude that’s made it difficult for our PR mentors to support me. I realized that it’s been hard for me to let go of the control I usually have over my life and of the decisions I’ve always made for myself, which are usually based on understanding specific goals behind every action. That has unfortunately led me to question why certain aspects of the program are there and to do some things as a painful homework, instead of trusting our mentors unconditionally and to enjoy and surrender to this program wholeheartedly. After chatting with our mentors, I finally understand something I read in an article a few months ago:

    “Don’t just find a mentor. Allow yourself to be mentored:
    Making the most of mentorship doesn’t just require the confidence to approach someone whose guidance can make a difference in your development. It requires the humility to take that guidance to heart, even when it’s uncomfortable, challenging, or counterintuitive. Otherwise, what’s the point?... Accepting real mentorship is, in part, an act of humility: The best of it comes when you’re actually willing to trust that mentor sees something you don’t see. There’s a reason, after all, that you sought them out in the first place. Be humble enough to listen”
    [Ref: The article is about lessons learned from the life of Claude Shannon, who I believe, is one of the greatest minds of this century. If you guys get a chance, I really recommend you take a look at the article here: https://medium.com/the-mission/10-00...-e8b9297bee8f]

    I finally realized that they know things I don’t know and they see things I don’t see. It unfortunately took me all this time to really fall into a humble and trusting attitude with them and with the program. It’s already making a difference as I’m both enjoying the program a lot more and really owning my decision of signing up for it. For instance, I’m now openly talking about my diet, the amount of supplements I take and the hours I spend at the gym without worrying about being judged. And people have been surprisingly supportive.

    Like that piece about trust in the article, there are way too many things that I’ve been reading throughout the years, which I intellectually know are important lessons, and therefore I thought I had understood, but I really haven’t because I haven’t actually done/felt/experienced them yet. My mind is full of lessons that I haven’t grasped, including lots of previous teachings about dealing with my insecurities with women. One of my main goals for PR is to take more action instead of just keeping knowledge in my head. I’m ready to start learning by experience, so I can truly assimilate and apply the teachings of the program. I’m gonna push myself on this so I can achieve not only a change of mindset, but also a lasting change of behavior.

    Finally, now that I’m in my hometown, I realized that even though I have a lot of friends feel I can trust here, there are only a couple of people I feel comfortable opening up about my problems with women. I started a personal improvement journey earlier this year and the truth is that I’ve been doing it all by myself. It’s been a lonely road so far, but as I see your posts, I realize that we’re all in the same boat and that we’re all sharing this improvement journey together. I feel very lucky to be part of this group and I feel both relieved and excited to be part of Project Rockstar with you guys. I can’t wait to meet you in Vegas!

  10. #110
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    Week 11, 7.8.2018

    Breakthrough!

    Break-mutha-effen-through!

    If i can do it, then anyone can.

    Today, Sunday July 8th 20-freaken-18 i had my FIRST EVER SNL!!!

    And iím 46yrs old. About damn time.

    I know that i should probably relate something about my physical fitness progress, or my ability to constantly eat the SAME things every day without getting tired of it. But, itís just not on my mind at the moment, funny enough.

    Perhaps i should go deeper into my anticipation for Vegas and the unavoidable hurricane of crippling fear that i will face on a nightly basis. But again, itís really not on my mind.

    Maybe I could talk about this cool sci fi book, Endymion, that takes place in the very distant future about an average dude who finds himself imprisoned in some high tech bubble while his girl is in danger...only to realize later on that this ďprisonĒ was only in his mind. It was always ONLY in his mind. And, that once he realized that, he was able to bust out and become the man that heíd always knew he could be. That he should be. Awesome. Heroic. And with the girl on his arm. But, i really donít want to. Itís a great book. Donít get me wrong. And i will probably bring it up during this summer and recommend it to all of you. But, honestly? Something else entirely is on my mind.

    And that ďsomething elseĒ is Amy. A 23 yr old lifeguard at the pool i swim. And quite easily, the BEST looking girl iíve ever gone on a date with. The best looking one iíve ever kissed and made out with. And, by far, the best looking one iíve ever had sex with. Not even close.

    46 yrs old, and Amy is the 4th different girl iíve ever slept with. And it shocks me that iíve never, ever, EVER admitted that to anyone. Even in my own mind i constantly lie to myself and walk around ďbelievingĒ that iíve at least had 10 different girls. Not 5, not 6, but an outrageous lie like 10. Pretty pathetic, huh?

    Iíve obviously got issues to work through in these next coming months. Boy, do i ever.

    But, before i get into the specifics, i will say this much. After the hook up, one thought crossed my mind immediately: ďwhy did i sign up for rockstar? I could easily be doing this on my own, without RSís help, and saving myself a shit load of money!
    I could easily man up on my own and push myself harder with girls and save myself all of this goddamn money! Iím an idiot for not acting sooner!Ē

    But, that feeling of regret quickly vanished. Because honestly, i truly believe i got this lay BECAUSE of Rockstar. Or at least the idea of it.

    For the past week, iíve been trying to shift gears in my head and prepare myself for the rigors and demands of Rockstar. Iíve been trying to get in the mindset of being that seducer in womenís lives. A concept that Iíve NEVER embraced. Not even one iota.

    And because of the perceived pressure from Rockstar Iíve already begun pushing myself harder than i ever have.

    So, in a sense, in a very real sense, Rockstar is ALREADY my wing man!

    And i really donít think i couldíve hooked up with Amy without the anticipated motivation and influence from Rockstar.

    So, my investment is already paying off! Itís paying off BEFORE i even set foot in vegas, haha.

    Now, this may be a one time fluke. Maybe Amy was a total ďyes girlĒ from the very beginning. And all i had to do was not cock block myself.

    But, hereís the thing. I ALWAYS cockblock myself. Always have, and without Rockstar, Iíd probably always will.

    I mean, just typing this sentence is sending a flood of cringe worthy memories racing through my mind. Memories of all the missed opportunities because i was too much of a chicken shit to go for it. And memories that have traumatized and scarred me for the better part of my life.

    No more. Never again. FUCK that shit.

    I donít have time to waste anymore. No more time to throw away by being the cool, charming, funny, sex-less asshole whoís always there to listen to the girl bitch and complain about the latest guy sheís fucked and desires but canít get. And then openly questions, right to my face, why these douchebags arenít more like me. Sweet. Nice. Dependable. And without a dick.

    You know, like her little stupid puppy dog that she neutered to better control him.

    Fuck that.

    Ok, venting out of the way. On to some details about Amy.

    Iíve actually casually known her for about 3 months. A cute, sweet, funny and chill lifeguard who works at the pool i swim.

    As with most girls in my life, i built a simple banter type of rapport with her. Little, semi-flirty convos that probably never last more than 2 mins. About the time it takes for me to get from the locker room and into the pool.

    Iíve always thought she was attractive. But i just never considered asking her out.

    And now that i think about it. I really didnít. Well, at least not initially.

    About 2 wks ago she mentioned that she was going to miss me. That Iím one of her favorite patrons. She said that she was going to quit her job and move to Sonoma, Cali and start college up there.

    I was a little bummed. So i said we should stay in touch. Being the pussy that i am, i went for the email.

    She said ďsureĒ, and told me that sheíd write it down and give it to me after my workout.

    As soon as i finished, she walked over and handed me a slip of paper with her email AND her cell. I was pleasantly surprised. I didnít think iíd do anything more than just send her the occasional friendly, flirty text. You know, typical beta male BS.

    I didnít send her my first text until a week later, when i went to Puerto Rico for a friendís wedding.

    It was then, during her first response, that i felt like ďsomethingĒ could happen.

    Her response? ďYou should have told me you were going to Puerto Rico. I couldíve quit my job sooner and fled with youĒ. I kept re-reading that last part ďfled with youĒ. I kept thinking, ďis she into me?Ē

    During my entire stay in puerto rico we exchanged a few flirty texts. Nothing outrageous, and sadly no dick pix (haha), but just enough (it seems) to keep her engaged.

    When i returned a few days ago, i said we should get together before i leave for the summer and before she leaves for school.

    It turns out that she leaves on 7/10. Tmw. And she only had time yesterday. I took that as an opportunity to push myself harder than ever.

    Originally, i was going to pick her up at her parents. But with the gun pointed at my head i went for it. I said that she should come over to my place and that iíll drive us to the Griffith observatory for a cool show.

    She said that she wouldnít ďmind one bit coming over to my placeĒ. At this point i told myself that iĒm not ever going to get a light more green than this one.

    I started brushing up on attraction, comfort (which i suck at) and sexualization (which i suck at even more). And i kept telling myself that no matter how this turns out, that i WILL for sure go for the kiss. No matter what. I donít care if she slaps me and runs out of my apt.

    Once on my couch, i worked as much comfort as i could. I then transitioned to any prior relationship heartbreaks. And then asked her what she likes in a guy. And then what she finds sexy in a guy.

    At this point, she said the same standard stuff. That she likes guys who are confident, funny, chill, and most importantly, she loves to feel comfortable around a guy.

    I took this opportunity to ask her ďso, are you comfortable around me? (while holding a strong gaze)Ē She looked at me. Smiled and said ďyesĒ. I didnít hesitate. I grabbed her hand, pulled her towards me and kissed her. And she LOVED it! She either could not, or would, not stop kissing me.

    It was a full on make out sesh right there on my couch. The couch thatís only ever seen action with me and my ex-gf.

    After about 5 mins of that, i pulled away and she was either glowing...or in heat, or both, haha. But she said ďI hope youíre not expecting more than thatĒ.

    That was a response i was preparing for the ENTIRE time. I knew that she would, as most girls do, say those exact same words.

    At this point, i was in the zone. I did not hesitate with my response. I said ďweíre only going to do what youíre comfortable withĒ. She smiled, reached out for me and we went back into full make out mode again.

    After about another minute, i stood up, didnít say a word. Grabbed her by the hand and walked her to my bedroom...where she raped me for the next hour!

    At this point in my life, iím either not used to/equipped for/nor able to last that long. It could be a hormone thing. Or maybe itís because my ex-gf orgasmed SO fucken quickly. Or maybe Amy did orgasm quickly...but just latched onto to me with pit bull-like intensity that she wanted me to keep going! I thought my penis and tongue were going cramp, go limp and fall off.
    But she has such a nice body (11 years younger, firmer and tighter than my exís!) that i found that extra gear iíve always needed for just this occasion.

    I enjoyed it so much, that i have not been able to stop smiling all day.

    This is EXACTLY what i needed to help me get past my ex. I really, truly needed to hook up with another girl. But not just another girl. A fun, cute, young girl full of life and NOT cynical, jaded and beat down by life like my ex.

    Iím sure there are other lessons in this. But for now, it feels great to be ďthat guyĒ instead of the other.

    Till next time, fellas.

  11. #111
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    Week 11
    So, it is officially only 1 week left of the fitness program! It is time to really squeeze out the last I have left. My main goal for the last week is to try and up my intensity some more and go all out. If I manage to walk right out of the gym after my workouts I have not trained hard enough.

    It is scheduled with one rest week before we hit Vegas. I will for sure just keep training the last week, but I will up my frequency a bit – full body workouts 3 times the last week. One day with more occlusion training with something called Myo-reps, the next day with higher intensity and the last day with a more volume-based training. That being said, I encourage everyone who reads this to try out the Kris Gethin program on bodybuilding.com (costs around 7 dollars to access the program, but you get access to loads of other programs as well). If you follow the program, stay dedicated and give 100% you will transform your body.

    The week started off with yoga. I feel like I am getting the hang of it now. Do not get me wrong, I still fuck up in some of the poses and struggle to keep my balance sometimes, but it is a lot better than what it used to be just a few weeks ago. The yoga portion is also something that I encourage people doing. Not only will it make you more flexible and have more control of your body, but it is also liberating to just let go of all the stress you have in your everyday life and just focus on the exercises and the breathing. One thing I do not understand is that yoga is still the single one thing of the fitness program that makes me sweat the most by far. I think it is because there are really no breaks, just going from one exercise to another for 90 minutes.

    On Tuesday we had the SF ab program. Something that I noticed the last few times is that I am getting so tired in the abs during the program that I start to compensate with other muscles just to being able to finish the routine. Obviously, this is not a good thing, but it might not just be all bad. Probably means that I am doing the first exercises correct and getting good abs contraction on those exercises which leads to my abs being fatigued for the last exercises. I think I should rather focus on the fact that my abs are getting worked hard hence being fatigued and if possible, try to reduce the compensation for the last exercises, but do not really sweat it that much. It is not like my abs are not being worked although I compensate a bit with other muscles.

    On Wednesday we had my favourite body part to train on the schedule – legs (sarcasm). 300 reps of leg presses. At the end of the workout my legs felt like jelly and I had to wait for 5 minutes to walk down the stairs to the locker rooms. On the good side, I rushed almost straight to work, but had no cramps or anything. Drinking more water and getting some more salt in me seemed to the trick.

    We had back and chest on Thursday. DTP supersets between back and chest. Exhausting stuff, but such a good feeling afterwards. One thing I have noticed is that my chest is getting bigger compared to my shoulders and arms. That is something have in mind for the last 2 weeks, might up my frequency on my arms and shoulders while having the same amount of reps – basically spreading my shoulder and arm reps over several days. A good thing about that is that since I spread the reps over several days I will be able to lift heavier on each set.Instead of 300 reps for shoulders on one day, I might for instance have 100 reps on 3 days which will lead to a greater overall volume (since I lift heavier). Already asked my mentor about it, so just have to wait and see if I am allowed to deviate a bit from the program.

    On Friday we had DTP sets again. This time for shoulders. Brutal as always. Another cool thing was that France beat Uruguay and is now ready for the semi-final. They are meeting Belgium which is going to be one hell of a match. I think it is 50/50 and it all just comes down who has the margins on their side. Either way, really looking forward to that match. Sadly, I will be working that day, so I doubt I will be able to see much of it.

    On Saturday we had arms. Basically different supersets between bicep and triceps. I really tried to focus on the mind-muscle-connection as I feel like my arms and shoulders are lagging a bit compared to my chest. Killed the workout but having work straight after where I lift stuff was brutal, but manageable. Have to sacrifice something for big arms, right?

    Sunday was the ab ripper x. that is always tough for me no matter how many times I do it. It is a lot easier now compared to the first few times, but I still have lactic acid building up.

    This week was quite hectic. I mentioned in my last blog post that I was not going to work that much this week, but I did some changes with a co-worker so that I do not have to quit my 25% part time job and therefore have a bit of income during Rockstar which is awesome. That means, however, that I have to work a lot leading up to Rockstar. I have for instance four 12 hour shifts in a row, but it is worth it.

  12. #112
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    I know I know I'm late and I'm sorry but as the saying goes, better late than sorry so I guess I'm not really sorry. Week 11 was a good week for my ego. My body is really starting to take shape and I fucking love it. Borderline narcissistic even, I can't help but flex everytime I'm in front a mirror. It might sound a bit self-righteous and egocentric, and you're probably right I just don't care. I've been struggling with my body image for a long time since I was in pretty great shape back in high school and then just exploded pretty much so being back in pretty good shape is like going back in time. I have so much energy its insane and I feel so confident.

    When it comes to training this week haven't been much different than any other week. Once you're in the routine it doesn't really matter what you're doing. Every workout is uncomfortable, every workout has brought a feeling of sickness and pain, so nothing is really new. You just get to the gym and do what you have to do. Nutrition is interesting however because as you remove artificial tastes and sugar and your body detoxes from them you actually start to taste differently.

    It's actually a very fascinating experience to go through. Sure, some meals are still super boring like eating 3-4 eggs in the morning, or sometimes when I need to down 200g of nothing else but chicken to fill out my daily intake, I admit it's not super exciting. However, I'm really looking forward to some of my meals even though I've been eating the same thing every day for weeks. I guess you just adapt to the circumstances and even though I'm looking forward to my cheat meal, I don't think I'll ever stop counting calories and macros.

    On a more personal note, I've had quite an interesting week for sure. I've been struggling with my feelings for skydiving and I was even considering stop doing it at all. It was just so much frustration and stress around it and even though I love actually being in the air I didn't know if it was worth the stress. I even talked to a few of my good friends out on the drop zone about it and that I was considering stop doing it. I compare it to be in a destructive relationship with the best looking girl you can think of and you have the most amazing sex but you're constantly fighting every other minute of the day, and I just didn't feel like it was worth it. But as every destructive addiction, I ended up saying "I'll just do a few more jumps and if nothing changes I'm done". I ended up doing a few absolutely magical jumps and obviously, I'm hooked again. I'm just sad I don't have any more time to jump more before Vegas but oh well.

    I've also been on a couple of dates this week with the chick I mentioned last week. As always I have no idea what happened but I'm glad it did, and its a great ego boost for Vegas haha. It's a little bit funny because we were talking about when she noticed she was interested in me and so on and she literally told me like "I've always been in relationships and guys has always been hitting on me, but you didn't. That got me interested, I was like "Whats wrong with this guy?". At the same time I was all like this chick is out of my league and I'm on this intense workout program and I'm going to Vegas soon and there will be tons of girls there so I'm not going to put any effort into it. I guess you can say that she picked me up. I feel flattered.

    She's a super cool girl as well and very relaxed about everything. She knows I'm going away for a while and that I might move back to Thailand this fall so we're just enjoying each other's company and see where it takes us. No stress, no obligations, just what the doctor prescribed.

    I so fucking psyched for Vegas now, I mean if this is what happens just by going through the fitness transformation I can't wait to see what happens after we mastered all the other aspects to this. A lot of the other guys have some or even quite a bit of experience with pickup and love system but I'm quite a blueberry. I don't know if that will translate correctly but basically, it means I have no idea what I'm doing so I believe this will be extremely eye-opening for me, and I'm so hyped to have so many great men at my side to guide me through the process.

    My nerves are slowly transforming into excitement after Dainis little speech about excitement and nervousness having the same physical attributes and I've been giving it a lot of thought lately and like the mindset. But I also believe these feelings come in pairs. Like Ying and Yang, you can't really have one without the other. As you are excited for what might go right, you'll nervous about what might go wrong and in the end it's up to you what you decide to focus on.

    But as this last week of the fitness transformation is coming to its end I'm just going to muscle through the last couple of days and finish off strong. Before we know it this little dream team of people is finally going to meet up in person and I just KNOW it's going to be absolutely epic from start to finish. Lets fucking crush it guys!

  13. #113
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    9-Jul-18 Week 9

    This week was all about traveling back home to Poland. I took the opportunity to do a dry run of what my packing would look like for PR (3 weeks left). I'll only have 4 short days @ home when I get back, so focus on PR-readiness was paramount.

    The biggest time eater, by far, was the nearly full day I spent putting on every article of clothing in my closets (yes, I have 2). Since cost of labour is significantly cheaper in Poland, I had hoped to take some of my favorite clothes and get them re-fitted while Iím back home for 2 weeks. Unfortunately, this fitness transformation has caused such reductions in all my bodily proportions that nearly 70% of all my clothing is no longer wearable and does not even look/feel like it qualifies for re-fitting. I have dozens of high-quality articles of ďdressĒ clothing that, for now, I have relegated for review and acceptance by my younger brother, who best could take advantage of my inability to fit into this clothing (me and him used to be about the same size and I hope he can take full advantage, otherwise, it will probably go to the donation bins).

    All this packing and preparing was very hectic and luckily we had 2 rest days on the books that coincided with the exact time I needed to pack and prepare for the trip. I unfortunately skipped the stretchX and YogaX workouts, but in the grand scheme of things, I didnít think this will have a huge impact on my overall transformation (I stayed active and did cardio-equivalent activities).

    What did have a huge impact was the full day lost due to the airport+ flight+travel to new accommodations. I was not able to hit the gym the morning of the travel back home, but I had expected this, and had my cousin all ready to take me to register for a popular gym in Krakůw on the same day we land. This gym has many locations and a few of them are open 24/7 - perfect for the jet lag and/or insomnia.

    So I left on Wednesday and landed Thursday morning. Seeing as how I was here for two weeks, I had planned ahead and packed 3kg worth of supplements with me, in original packaging (as to avoid the red flags that would surely be associated with an assortment of pills and powders packaged in ziplock bags), however, I did not think it practical to pack my weight and kitchen scales.

    First order of business, once I had picked up the keys to our place, by late Thursday afternoon, I made my way over to the mall (on foot, as unlike in Canada/US, the cities here are densely built, allowing for comfortable distances for walking (aka cardio), especially in city centers). There, I was able to get reasonably priced scales (both kitchen and body), as well as a shaker cup and several packages of supplements I had run out of before leaving Canada.

    Despite the general tiredness, my first day in Krakůw consisted of being at the gym for 3.5 hours to cover 2 daysí worth of fitness training. Now I was back on track and fully aware of how to get there.

    Nutrition has been a bit of a struggle - food in Poland is flavorful, plentiful, and delicious. To add to this, all family you visit expects you to eat with them, and are offended when you refuse to try the home-made meals and desserts. I spent a lot of time telling people about the 12-week transformation, the need to monitor macros, especially carb and particularly sugar intake, but inevitably, you take a small ďhonoraryĒ piece of home-made whatever here and there and it quickly adds up. So although the general calorie intake for this week has remained within ~5% of the designated 2000 calorie target, my macros have significantly shifted to 40/20/40 as opposed to the 30/30/40 (carbs/fat/protein). However, by taking a taste here and there, my resolve to stay true to the program ahead of the ďbreak weekĒ has been even better and I havenít really felt the cravings to try things as I travel throughout the day.

    My fat % continues to decline although my average body weight in weeks 8/9 did a parabola - from 174 lbs down to 170 just before travel, back up to 174. The new resolve has taken hold during week 10, and weight is stabilizing back towards its descent trend, but one can wonder how much weight loss I really have left with my 10-14% body fat Range (its unfortunate I was not able to get that 3rd DEXA scan to be sure what my actual body fat percentage is; the Navy and handheld methods are good indicators of trend, but they are hardly accurate in terms of absolute figures).

  14. #114
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    Week 12:

    AaaandÖ.weíre done! Well, not really. With rockstar just a week and a half away, it feels like all weíre done with is 12 weeks of preparation leading up to this moment. Still, it felt good to be able to see ďthe finish lineĒ on the fitness tracking sheet - definitely feels like weíve accomplished something.

    As per my usual thought pattern, my first thought was ďehÖyes, youíve done somewhat good. But youíre not there yetĒ. But after that I remembered what it felt like to go shopping for the supplements and food on 22nd April, unsure and daunted by what lay ahead. While Iíve lost around 18 pounds over these last 12 weeks, the bigger journey has been mental - working out through illness, finding time through hectic work days to workout, the steady drop in calories, learning to ignore the muscle soreness etc.

    One subtle but important change was learning not to live and die by what the scale said. Somewhere between week 6 and 9 I learned to trust the process and not let my day be dictated by whether my weight had fluctuated up or down that morning.

    I also got better at avoiding tempting (i.e. processed) food. That craving hasnít gone away over 12 weeks, but like all other skills Iím better at it after practicing it for weeks. I donít know if that ever goes away completely given what my habits were before starting this program. But as claudio has told us many time - we become what we do repeatedly. So I just have to keep at it and let that side of me recede over time.

    My workload has been increasing steadily but exponentially over these twelve weeks. Itís all been leading up to the launch of a big project that launches the day before I leave for Vegas. In some ways Iíve been grateful for that Ďdistractioní because left to myself my mind wouldíve just ramped up the anxiety about Vegas. After reading ĎThe Obstacle Is The Wayí I got better at dealing with anxious thoughts by focusing on the process i.e. every time it came up I caught myself and told myself to just focus on that dayís workout.

    Earlier this week I was speaking to a friend and mentioned that I have only one more weekend before I go on sabbatical from work. He said - ďwhatís the problem. Itís going to be an endless Ďweekendí for months after this oneĒ. I realised then that I was still subconsciously labelling whatís ahead of us in Vegas as something to dread rather than something to look forward to. To deal with this I went back to read the PR journals from previous years where the rockstars posted retrospectively about their whole experience, sometimes weeks or months after PR was complete. Definitely inspired me and got me looking at it positively again!

    Anyway, this kind of thinking has clearly impeded me in many areas of my life. And Iím looking forward to dealing with this and my other mental blocks in the weeks ahead.

    Now itís on to shopping, preparing for Vegas while still maintaining momentum on fitness. Lots to do and not much time to do it because itíll take me close to a full day to fly to Vegas. Given my workload I havenít been keeping up on the group chat or watching all the other Rockstarís videos, so hope to catch up on some of that in this coming week.

    Will reserve some thoughts for the final post on reflections from the fitness program, so thatís all from me for week 12. See you in 10 days!

  15. #115
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    Week 9 Blog

    Hey guys,

    This week was pretty regular regarding the fitness program. I’ve been mostly working out in the mornings, so I actually feel my days are longer and more productive. It’s also nice to have the night to chill and reflect. I think I’m gonna keep doing it that way after PR.

    I went out clubbing last night for the first time in several weeks and I’ve been reflecting today about how it went. Yesterday I went out with a few simple intents:

    - Have fun with my friends
    - Talk to girls without worrying about the outcome
    - Practice some of the inner skills I’ve been working on. e.g. Serenity, lack of self-consciousness and letting out my authenticity

    The good part was that I did have a lot of fun just bonding again with my friends, meeting new people in the club, dancing, and I intentionally let myself go a lot more than I have in a long time (or that I usually do when I’m not drunk). It felt great. It reminded of the feeling of when I was a kid/teenager and I was doing activities just because I enjoyed them.

    On the other hand, every time I talked to (or even saw) a hot girl, I couldn’t help but feel anxious. My serene state went to shit uncontrollably in that moment and my heart rate increased. Self consciousness kicked in and I would either freeze or act clumsy. The good news is that I was able to recover from that state rather quickly and to just go back to doing something else and have fun. The bad news is that every time I was in an interaction with a hot girl, the emotion of anxiety came back and I couldn’t help feeling it. It’s like the hot chick was an anxiety trigger. Reflecting today, I realized that’s the moment when I usually start being funny, trying to impress, etc, which I guess is the solution I’ve found years ago to alleviate my discomfort with the situation. Then I eject “gracefully” as a cool/nicel guy who wasn’t rejected. I always thought the jokes and the funny vibe was me showing my authenticity, but I now realize that’s only partly true, and that I’ve also been using it as a defence mechanism to protect myself from rejection and to protect my ego. I’m glad I identified both the trigger of the discomfort and my behavioral pattern so I can work on improving it during project rockstar. I really wanna express myself as I truly am, but I want to be able to do it in a way that’s natural and contributes to my life as a whole, instead of using one of my qualities to benefit one part of my life and hinder another.

    The best part of this experience was actually today. Besides not having a horrible hangover, this is the first time I don’t punish myself for doing things “wrong” with girls, so I don’t feel bad emotionally. This is the first time I manage to truly put in practice a non-judgemental attitude. I just observed without giving labels of right or wrong, so I don’t feel like shit. After last night, I realized that changing some of my current habits will probably take a lot longer than I thought because there’s a lot of unconscious BS to be aware of and improve, but as Project Rockstar gets closer, I now know that this is the kind of intense program needed to accelerate our personal improvement process. See you guys in Vegas!

  16. #116
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    16-Jul-18 Week 10

    Even though it's not week 12 for me, I'm looking forward to having a cheat meal at the end of this week. My aunt is throwing a 60th birthday party combined with her retirement (back home, women get to retire at age 60 if they want) and that is the reason I am here. I have been using the promise/thought of an amazing 3+ course meal with a few shots of vodka, all in the company of family to keep me motivated and on the righteous path!

    Fitness

    This week I decided to be pro-active instead of reactive about our fitness program and the inevitable interruptions and obstacles that traveling back home brings. Last week highlighted how catching up with family and the inevitable “tourist trips” were likely going to lead me to miss a workout here or there, so I decided to use the days that didn’t have any particular outings planned, to try and “double up” on workouts.

    Last week I had to “double up” because I missed workouts. This week, I decided to do one workout in the morning, and then one more in the afternoon. That way, if the next day I didn’t make it to the gym, I would already have one work out “in the bank” so to speak. This method is obviously not ideal, as the idea is to consistently burn 3500-4000 calories each day, but it’s better than missing a workout. Thankfully, because in my home city it is common to walk everywhere, I was always able to get the minimum (and then some) cardio workout in the form of traveling/walking from one destination to the next (or just moving around the city lol).

    For example: on Wednesday I did the required YogaX workout in the morning, then went to the gym in the evening to do the next day’s Chest+Back DTP workout. On my return I was beat but was still able to enjoy the awesome match between England and Croatia. On Thursday I had planned to go do a tour of Auschwitz, which took most of the day, and instead of going to the gym like I had originally planned, an impromptu invite to hang out with family and friends derailed that plan, but I accepted the invite because I had already gotten the workout done the previous day. To boot, the tour of Auschwitz was very heavy on walking, and so I had easily done 3 hours of walking during the tour, plus another 30 minutes of traveling (on foot) between locations.

    I went to bed early on Thursday night (midnight), and was up by 8am on Friday, allowing me to hit the required Ab RipperX + StretchX (rest day) workout in the morning. Then, after a few errands and visits with family, I was able to hit the gym in the evening to do the next day’s shoulders workout, thus getting another workout in the bank. In best case, I will keep this going to cut my 12-week transformation 1-2 days short of the original end date!

    Nutrition

    My nutrition never really recovered back to the desired 30/30/40 macros split, but I did manage to control my calorie intake for most of the week... at least until the “break week” started. Everyone on Rockstar gets a 1 week break between the end of the fitness program and the beginning of the 9-week, with the exception of myself and a few of the other “late entrants” into the program. To accommodate, our coaches allowed us late folks to have a “break week” where we are allowed to loosen the usually tight requirements on nutrition - have a couple beers/drinks with family and friends, indulge in a few of the restricted foods, etc.

    That said, it’s still important to try and control yourself as much as possible not to undo all the good work, or suffer a set back of 1-2 weeks.

    So far I have tried to keep it minimized (ie. Don’t exceed the calorie limit by more than 25%) and plan to maintain my fitness requirements to use the excess calories in a positive way (to potentially build muscle instead of storing fat). However, the real results won’t truly be known until next week so stay tuned!

  17. #117
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    ERASED - DUPLICATE POST
    Last edited by RobertK; 07-17-2018 at 01:08 AM. Reason: Duplicate Post

  18. #118
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    Week 12, 7.15.2018

    Well, shit.

    Here we are. The LAST week of the physical fitness program.

    And just like that. Just like all of us knew it would happen. Here we are. And by here, i mean imean fucken FAST!

    And still, it seems to have caught me off guard.

    I had some injuries (knee and elbow) during this phase of the program that limited me from my possible full potential.

    I like some of the changes to my body. But i know (that if i were just a bit healthier) i could have done and gained so much more!

    The injuries, plus the drastic change from a primarily high fat/low carb (almost keto) diet to a low fat/high carb one, was a shock to my system that took me a while to adjust to.

    In fact, iím still not sure iím as adjusted as i should be. As i can be.

    I was on this high fat diet for almost 3 years. And even though i wasnít as swole or defined as i wanted to be during those years, i did notice the ďhealth benefitsĒ from such a diet. Primarily hormone balance, gut health and digestive regularity.

    On this new 40/40/20 diet, i donít feel quite as healthy as i should. Especially my energy levels and digestion.

    In fact, i find myself quite often not being able to hold down all the food i eat. I have these massive, intense bowel movements (sorry if itís TMI, fellas). But because of that, i donít think iíve been able to gain the necessary mass iíve wanted to.

    I went to a doctor to check myself out. And it seems as though my thyroid is not working properly.

    I will be taking some type of replacement therapy to see if it helps. I surely do. And I will keep at it.

    But on the positive side, Iíve noticed changes to my body, as well as to my fellow rockstars. And even though i didnít get the full results i wanted this time around, i now know, and can see, the amazing potential of this strategy.

    And now, more than ever, iím focused on approaching this physical transformation part with more vigor and determination when i do it again.

    And, with the meal prep during RS, and the amount of committed gents in our class, as well as my slowly but steadily improving knee and elbow, i feel as though i can and will see better physical results during the summer.

    I want to continue building on this progress!

    And with the positive, encouraging environment at RS this will undoubtedly be the best possible situation for me to improve not just on my ďgameĒ but also on my mental, physical and emotional well being.

    I know, we ALL know, that itís going to be hard.

    That the time constraints and commitments to the program will push us to the limit. But itís also becoming clear, that these aspects of our lives (physical, mental, emotional, etc) are dealt with in such high regard in that community that it will be encouraged on a continual basis.

    And thatís what i need. Thatís what i want. And itís fucken awesome.

    Aside from my thoughts on the physical transformation portion of it, iíve also been thinking a bit (well, more like a LOT) on my SDL from last weekend.

    On my hook up with that 23 yr old, Amy.

    Not going to lie. Even though i felt like it was a lot of work to get her to climax (MORE work than iíve ever put into any sex related activity), upon reflection, it was totally worth it!

    Looking back on it, i loved every minute of it.

    Not just the sex part (which, when i finally did climax, was awesome!), but the whole process of it.

    There are moments when i think about the entire day with her. And how easily and congruent i was in leading her from the kiss to the bedroom, that i think to myself ďthat was so easy. I could TOTALLY do this again and again with any girlĒ.

    But, just as quickly, i find myself thinking ďdamn, can i? Can i really do that again?Ē Iím not even sure i can do it again with Amy. Iím not sure exactly how to get her for another lay.

    I mean, iím trying to ping her every now and then (in a non-needy way), and she seems to respond very eagerly and nicely. So i think (and I hope) that sheís still interested in me. At least interested enough to see me again.

    But, until it happens, until i get her into my bedroom, iím not sure and not confident that i can.

    Currently, iím in japan traveling. And sheís in the state of washington visiting her family. And iím trying to learn on the fly how to keep her interested enough and thinking about me. But i just donít have the tools, yet.

    Tools that i will undoubtedly get from RS.

    But sadly, in this case as it always seems to be in life, i just donít know how to handle something like i will know in a few months.

    I know i shouldnít focus too hard on her. That i will start to get the ďabundanceĒ mentality in vegas, but emotionally right now (because i donít have abundance) i canít get past it.

    This experience with Amy is allowing me to realize one of my issues already. That i get too attached too quickly with a girl.

    On one hand itís good, because i needed something like this to get past my ex-gf. But on the other hand, iíve replaced one obsession with another one.

    Ugh.

    I obviously need MORE experience with girls and more reference points to truly be free, and to truly be my own man.

    But until then, this is going to be a bit arduous.

    Who knows? If i get another lay from her (iím home this coming weekend for a few days before i leave for vegas, and i think she comes home for a week during that time before going up north for school) then i may just get on the road with the clearest of minds and testicles, haha.

    But, if not, if iím not able to do it, then i will have to use this experience to become stronger! To take this opportunity to learn and grow from.

    It wonít be easy. I know myself, but i have to be prepared for either scenario.

    And as i type this, a sense of calm is washing over me. That no matter what, that i WILL get another shot (hopefully more) with another high quality girl.

    That i will be out in the field so often, that just the sheer amount of interactions will get me something good And that thought alone makes me smile

    Letís do this!

    Cheers.

  19. #119
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    Week 12
    I cannot believe that we are now officially finished with the 12-week program. As I have stated several times – time is really flying by.

    I remember when I first took a look at the program and thought to myself that it was no chance that I would be able to fit all those hours in my already extremely hectic schedule with exams and work. During the interview sessions I was told that the fitness program was extremely hard and time consuming, but I did not expect it to take as much time as it did. If I was not training I was stuffing my face with food and constantly felt full. I spent easily 6 hours a day on eating and training, combine that with finishing the third year of an MBA and work and you have the recipe for an extremely hectic period. In addition to that I had to deal with my cousin being diagnosed with brain cancer. That being said, I actually enjoyed having such a hectic schedule – I felt like every hour I was awake I was doing something productive with my life and I was going to bed with such a good feeling about myself.

    This week was kind of special since I knew that it was the last week of the fitness portion and tried my best to up my intensity some more from the previous weeks. Go hard or go home.

    The week started off with the Yoga x. No matter how much I do yoga, I still get exhausted from it. I think it is the constant pace with no breaks that gets me. In the end of the 90 minutes I am super sweaty and all I can think of is when does it end. This week the yoga was particularly useful. We are getting closer to the kick off in Vegas and my mind is full of different scenarios, emotions and thoughts. The 90 minutes really had me relaxing and letting go of the past and future which was something I really needed.

    On Tuesday it was time for the final chest and back workout. I used wrist wraps and straps for the first time and it really helped me lift heavier! Should have used that earlier, oh well, you live, and you learn. I totally rocked that workout and pushed myself harder than I have ever done previously during the fitness program. The last rep on the dumbbell bench-press took me over 10 seconds to complete and my arms were shaking like crazy. Good shit.

    The next day it was time for shoulders and calves, if you read my last blog post you probably remember that I mentioned that my shoulders and arms were lagging a bit compared to my chest. I asked my fitness mentor If I were allowed to deviate a bit from the program and up my frequency on shoulders and arms. He was super cool with that and this week I have trained my shoulders and arms 3x this week. I already feel like they are getting bigger but that is probably just me being a bit too optimistic.

    The Sf ab program was scheduled for Thursday. I gave it all I had and ending up with stomach cramps at the end of it. Not a pleasant experience. Cramping in general is horrible but stomach took it to the next level and I had a hard time breathing for a while, but It was no chance in hell that I would cut short the last sf ab workout and after some stretching I was good to go and finished off the last set.

    On Friday we had the dreaded X-stretch. I was actually a lot more flexible now than last time. I really do not know why as I have not done anything different than what I normally do throughout the week. Maybe my body just wanted me to have a happy ending on X-stretch as some of my stretching sessions have been flat out embarrassing. All in all, a great ending to the stretching part of the program!

    The last few days of the week I had 15-hours shifts which really took a toll on my body. I felt completely drained and the workouts were brutal. We were also told to drop pre-work and coffee which really did not help either. I really had to fight mentally and had to dig deep, but I knew the first step was to show up at the gym. From there I just took one set at a time and small chunked it and kept telling myself “just one more set”. Worked like a charm and I was able to complete the workouts.

    On Sunday it was the world cup final! As you guys who have read my blog know, I betted on France winning the entire thing and lo and behold they actually did!! So cool, and made my long ass shift at work a lot better. I won $1200 on France which will come in handy during the program.

    As I have said, I cannot believe that the fitness part is over. Everything has gone so fast and I have not really had that much time to really digest that I am actually a part of Project Rockstar. I will take some time off the days before travelling to Vegas and really reflect on the fact that I am a part of this program and write down some of the things that I hope to get out of it. It will be cool to come back after the summer and re-read what I wrote down and see if I got what I wanted out of the program. As with everything in life, you get what you put in to it, so I will make sure I give 110% and really take advantage on the rare chance that I have been given.

  20. #120
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    Week 8 Blog

    Sunday, June 27 10:22 am: Mexico vs. Germany on in the background

    ...Had to cut the game off to finish this. Better to focus on one thing at a time and get it done.

    Going out last night
    I went out last night again with friends. For me its a good reminder of the main reason I applied to the program. I want to get better with women, and I want to stop holding myself back with women and in more broadly in life.
    I am in better shape. I feel like I have the body that the girls I want to attract desired, but I don't yet have the software. To use a computer analogy, It is like the fitness transformation is an upgrade to our hardware. And when we get to Vegas, we will begin our software upgrades.

    Hanging out with Friends:
    I hung with one of my friends yesterday evening, but it wasn't an enjoyable experience. I found myself annoyed, not really with my friends but at myself. The main reason for this lack of enjoyability was because hanging out caused me to not get the stretching and cardio in for the day (which I am making up today by adding onto my cardio and doing the stretching this morning). I haven't been available "To Hang" for the past few months while doing the fitness transformation. While this time has been flying by for me, I felt a smidge of guilt not being around. After this weekend I am verbally giving myself permission to go back into hermit mode and fully concentrate on my Fitness. At this point, I would rather do that anyway.
    But that is likely one of the benefits of this Fitness Transformation. It gives one the space they need to grow. Taking a step away and then going back into same routine/ situations feels unnatural now. When I hear some of my friend's negative thought process an alarm goes off in my head In my gut, I can feel that I don't hold that same belief anymore. I am growing and changing. Also, I am getting so much from PR that I don't get from my regular circle of friends at the moment. The fact that we are all reading, working out continually striving day to day to improve. It is not the same as trying to relate to people who are not doing it. Some of my friends, ask if I have a workout today. And I think to myself "Why do you ask this?... The answer is YES!". And if I don't have "a workout", then I have to stretch or do yoga or 40 mins of cardio or meal prep or rest.
    I felt a bit of sadness when I applied for PR. A part of me knew that after doing this past program, relationships will likely not be the same. You don't do a program like Rockstar to go back to your old life. I don't know what is to come but for sure I know I will never be the same.

    ...Cut the game back on because I heard weird horn sound in the apartment complex. Mexico had scored.

    Currently Reading:
    Moonwalking with Einstein: I finished this audiobook this week, and it was a good read. This book discusses an author who goes on a quest to win the US Memory Championships. The book touches on Memory: Techniques to improve it, how our minds work, how memory/learning and becoming an expert interacts.

    My main takeaways from the book where as follows
    1. Deliberate Practice: In the book, the author discusses the concept of deliberate practice. This is the key to becoming the expert at a task. Deliberate practice essentially means practicing with a purpose and consciously working to improve on a skill by tracking progress and receiving feedback. This ties in well to PR because all of us will be getting.... are getting coaching and immediate feedback even now.

    2. The author explores in the book how having memorable experiences has the effect of slowing down time. As I have begun my career, I have noticed how time can begin to fly. One workday merges into another. None of them particularly memorable. The human brain has evolved to notice the memorable or novel. If something becomes too routine, its just filed away into just another day. I have the feeling we are going to create a shitload of epic memories over this summer. This is going to be a year I will never forget.

    Antifragile:
    I am starting the audiobook for Antifragile by Naseem Talib this week. I am finding this book insightful also. The author has a mercurial slant on his view of the world. But its one that I have found is based on nature/evolution which is an excellent place to look for ideas about how the universe works. What I have taken from this book so far is that risk and variance in life is not a bad thing. My current life is the epitome of fragile as how Talib describes in the book. While I have a good job and constant stream of income, If my company decides to lay me off tomorrow I would be in for trouble.
    This whole PR process has highlighted my fragility. When I had to request and fight for time off, I realized how not in control I could be in my life. Looking back, I am so glad I pushed through. However uncomfortable that made me it was the right decision to make that first step.

    Intermittent Fasting:
    Intermittent fasting is still going. I am still on the fence about how much I like it. This week I didn't start eating until around 11 am. But I eat until, 9 or 10. That is when I can get home and eat my last meal of the day. I even pushed to 1 pm one day this week. I will keep doing it for at least another week to see if I like it enough to continue. What I have found most difficult is making sure I eat enough when I start later. With the compressed time, I may have to reconsider how I split up my meals and eat more at one time.

    The Way of the Superior Man:
    Downloaded this book and will also work on it during the week.

    Tao of Jeet Kune Do:
    I have had this book for a while. It had been recommended to read the introduction and to get Bruce Leeís philosophy of martial arts. I have started reading it a bit before bed. So far a central theme has been being in the moment and also the dangers of form. He was really about being in the moment. He believed in being fluid and ready to react in the moment. Not being guided by some set routine or classical training.

    Dexa Fit Results 3:
    I got my 60-day results this weekend. I am still making progress which is good. My weight had gone from 217 to 210 in the 3+ weeks since my last scan. My body fat went from 17% to 14.5% which almost gets me into the Lean/Athletic range for Dexa. I had also managed to put on another pound of muscle. I could see the results in the mirror and through my daily measurements.
    This Fitness Program has been the first time that on a day to day basis I can see changes in my physique. Guys in the group are pushing each other. I will have to step up and do more on my abs.

    Soccer was my passion:
    Being a soccer fan was my key passion over the years. I would never a miss a Manchester United Game on TV. I followed online sports forms and really was into the team. But over the past few years (Since Sir Alex retiring). I just havenít followed like i use to. I remember when I first got into soccer. I could watch soccer all day everyday. I guess it was because it was novel and not readily available on TV in America. But lately my passion is just not the same as it once was. For whatever reason this has bothered me for a bit. I see other Rockstars who are really into some cool shit. And i wonder what will be the next thing I just have to do. Currently its the fitness for me. I look forward to going to the gym most days. I donít know if it is just habit. Or is it something I really love.
    I am following the World Cup, but with the US not in it. I am not following it with the same passion. What is great about sports is when you have skin in the game. You care about the outcome that is when watching sports is fun.

    Onto Week 9:
    Going to start shopping and buying supplies. Exciting getting the post last week from Andrew. I am going ahead with the preparations. This is Happening. Vegas Awaits!!!!!

  21. #121
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    Week 9
    Saturday, June 23rd 8:55: Watching the world cup and grinning about one of the Rockstars being the Zlatan of Ab Ripper.

    Feeling of Unease
    This week I got started on the book Way of the Superior Man. The book has an early chapter that discusses living at the edge of your fear. And I noticed I was living with a constant level of anxiety that was right under the surface. It is not the adrenaline-laced fear that you feel when your life is in danger. It's just a low level of constant anxiety. I couldn't figure if this was in response to something I needed to do that day or it this is something that is always with me just lurking under the surface.
    I believe the meditation that we have been doing brought these feelings to the surface. Increased awareness of my emotions is a benefit I am feeling from the meditation. I want to get better a using that vague feeling of unease in a more productive fashion. The feeling is usually the result of something I am avoiding in my life. And situations that bring fear are the ones that I should engage in for growth.

    Weekly Results:
    I am feeling the workouts this week. I have become used to soreness at this point in the program. Most of the time, I don't notice until I start working out. I felt it this morning in my upper body when I woke up. The soreness was likely from the chest/back workout a few days ago. It is good to see the program stepping up the intensity these last few weeks.
    My weight has gotten down to the 205 lbs range the last few days. With the weight drop, I continue to see more definition in my muscles, and the abs are slowly becoming more defined. I woke up this morning noticing more ab definition. It is crazy how you can see progress from day to day on this transformation. I'm starting to wonder what the end product of this transformation will be. My only hope is that the same progress happens once we begin our work in Vegas.
    I have continued with the Intermittent Fasting in my eating schedule. So for two weeks now I have skipped breakfast and not start eating until at least 11 and sometimes later. I really can see how eating like this helps you reduce calories without counting. And I have found skipping breakfast helps me better manage the lower calorie count. It gives me more flexibility in managing how I fill my calories during the day.
    Currently, I am at 1700 calories a day. At this calorie count, I have had slight bouts of hunger. But I am still able to manage the hunger bouts without too much of an issue.

    Ab Workouts:
    While I haven't completed Ab Ripper without a break, I do see progress. I have been challenged in SF Abs to step the weight I use. Another Rockstar is doing 40kilos to my 40lbs. I at least have to have my pounds above his kilos. I am sorry abdominal muscles, but this has to be done.

    Meditation:
    The meditation has been going well. I missed one day this week, but I try to do it once a day. I went ahead purchased the year plan from Headspace so that I can continue the practice. Using this app is the best I have ever felt meditating

    PR Preparation:
    I need to pick up the pace on preparations for Vegas at this point. I made one big step this week by purchasing my plane ticket to Las Vegas. That is the first step that makes all of this real. I plan to spend today (Saturday) completing PR stuff (Journal, Blog) so that tomorrow I can get on ordering items for the trip. I see that the other guys are well into there preparations.

    What I am Reading:
    Antifragile by Naseem Talib: I finished this book during the week. I found this book profound and plan to purchase the entire Incerto series of books from this author. Talib has a unique take on philosophy and like the point that he makes that time can be the real test of the effectiveness of a technology. I think humankind naive to the effects of technology (myself included) new is always better. But people are waking up to this. You have to look at Facebook, Google. More people are growing uneasy with these tools.
    His take on Antifragility and how while science is excellent. But humans have a difficult time seeing the actual risks in thing. Talib is a big proponent of the mental model of Via Negativa, which you are likely better off taking something away or doing less in the long run. Practically I consider this with medical/treatment medications and my current goal of dropping my HBP medication. You are probably better off, losing weight eating a better diet than taking some medication.

    The Way of Superior Man:
    I started this book. Reading this book is like the greatest hits of all the things I did wrong my previous relationship. My big take away so far is that you have to learn to appreciate the challenges, irritation that can come from females in relationships. This is just their nature, and it is part of life. I would be so frustrated in the past and began blaming my partner for issues. Then I eventually shut down which was the worst thing possible. I will continue with this book this week. I am so glad it was recommended


    Homo Deus:
    This audiobook came in from the library, So I will give I will try to finish it this upcoming week.

    The Inner Game Of Tennis:
    This is still on the back burner.

    Goal For this Past Week:
    This past week I tried to focus on washing dishes more frequently. I was forced to do a better job midweek to clean up some before my cleaners came this week. It was nice not to have a pile of dishes to wash this morning. So I will focus to keep it up during this week.

    Fun Thing This Week:
    Last night I went to a comedy show. Dave Chapelle and Jon Stewart were in town doing a show. Dave Chapelle is a comic genius; I was dying the entire show.
    Today is also the PRIDE parade here. I was supposed to walk in the parade but will likely pass on it this evening. With all that is going on with the fitness transformation, I want to relax this evening.

    Not much else to say. It is week 10. And fuck I think I have a migraine starting. Oh well. Today will be a fun day. As I have to finish my workout. Till next week.

  22. #122
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    Week 10

    Saturday, June 30th 9:35 AM: Watching France vs. Argentina - France should blow them out.

    I didn't go out last night, so I was able to wake up early this morning and go to the park for a run (if we pick roommates I likely will need to room with an early riser). I am good with around 6 hours of sleep every night. Been feeling a little lethargic the past week, and thought about going out last night but decided I needed rest more. Maybe tonight.

    Morning Run:
    I was trying to take too much stuff to the park with me on my run and ended up forgetting my armband for my phone. I didn't feel like carrying my phone as I jogged so just left it in the car. This ended up being a good thing. Jogging only with my thoughts in the moment was excellent. There was no music, podcasts or audiobooks. Just my thoughts. I have been listening to a lot of stuff, so it was nice to take a break.

    The lifting of Heavy Things this week:
    There wasn't much notable with the weights this week. At this point, it is just business as usual. I am surprised how much I am into the routine of going to the gym. I didn't know what to do with myself Tuesday when I finished everything in the morning before work.
    Since doing the program, it felt like the strength in my posterior chain (my butt) has gone down. I guess this should be expected, doing Crossfit I would do some squat/deadlift exercise multiple times a week which isn't the case on this program. I believe that will be something I can focus on getting back over the summer. Along with continuing to develop my core strength.

    SF Abs:
    Someone decided to be a show-off which will means I will be upping my situp weight to at least 50lbs for today!

    * Finished SF Abs with 50lbs. This Saturday workout was a beast. SF Abs is the workout that takes me the longest to finish. So it felt like I was in the gym the entire day today.

    Energy Levels:
    After the morning run and lifting, I was dead. I mostly laid on the couch and napped the rest of the evening. My body is using all of its energy to do these workouts. Cause afterward I have nothing left. Because of this, I am going to try a refeed day to see if that can help with energy levels. My weight as of Sunday was down under 203. And if I continue at this rate, I will hit my new goal of 200lbs. But I think this will likely be as slim as I should try to get.
    Because of my low energy, I passed on trying to go out Sat night. It was that and look at the workout that we will do Sunday. I figured it would be another day mostly hanging out in the gym.

    What I am reading/learning
    I have been reading multiple books at the moment. I am just following what interests me. I finished the book Homo Deus. I was surprised at how much this book touched on consciousness and the human mind. One big takeaway from the book was that human "self" is actually of two different minds. There is the experiencing self and the narrating self. The experiencing self is your experiences in the moment. And the narrating self is the part that creates the story of you are. Or the story you tell yourself.

    The Way of the Superior Man: What I am picking up from this book is to learn to appreciate feminine energy and women for what it is. As was stated in the book, I def was a man that would get frustrated by the ways of women. But I feel the author's theme can be extended to appreciate people and love people however they are and learn to recognize their gifts. I try to check myself whenever I feel myself being judgemental but seeing people (myself included) flaws and seeing those as a gift can be an empowering thought.
    Another action item from this book is the next few weeks to appreciate the feminine and the effect it has on me. So when I notice an attractive female, I am just becoming aware of the feeling this has on me at the moment. As I guy, I was already aware of the power women can have on men. I played basketball, and it could be the end of a two-hour practice everyone is dead tired. But let the cheerleaders come in the gym, uncanny how everyone would find an extra gear at that moment.

    Good Bye Things: I picked this book up free. It is by a Japanese Minimalist. I had gone through my closet and already thrown away some old clothes I hadn't worn. Reading this book is giving me the impetus to do even more decluttering. I don't consider myself a minimalist, but I do see the benefit of letting go of things. This also seems like a good time to do something in this area. It feels like I am clearing space in my life to make room for all of the new experiences that will come this summer!

    "You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis.
    - Tyler Durden, Fight Club

    "The things you own end up owning you."
    -Tyler Durden

    * I need to add Fight Club the book to my reading list.

    The author quoted this in his book, and it speaks to me.


    The Dip by Seth Godin:
    Short Audiobook I started this week. Author implores the reader not to accept being mediocre. Touches on how society is more and more becoming winner take all. With Google more and more will go to the top performers. This book has me rethinking my mental block with competing to be the best. I have been a person who would accept being mediocre. Mediocre is safe. But is it living. While it is not easy for me, I am learning that maybe life shouldn't be comfortable.

    Alex Strohl Adventure Photography: Picked up the idea of doing some photography over the summer. So I purchased this course. I am allowing myself to explore new hobbies. If I am interested, I am going to try it. No holding myself back anymore.

    The Alchemist:
    I have this audiobook on loan from the library so listening to it today as it is due back soon. This book was recommended a while back, and I am just getting back to it. The universe conspires to give you what you truly want if you listen and follow your legend!

    On the reading list:
    The Inner Game of Tennis
    The Obstacle is the Way


    Final Thoughts:
    I have heard the term embracing your shadow. I guess that is all of the things that you do or think that are not your best self. I found for me now that I have lost all this weight, I catch myself having judgemental thoughts. Like I will see someone that is overweight (I shop at Walmart, so there are many people) and I will look at what is in their shopping cart and think to myself yep I can see why you are that way. Or I will see someone who jogs for 15min on the treadmill then leaves and think. You should lift weights, and you can be like me.
    Anyway, I believe the mediation helps with this. From the meditation, you learn to accept your thoughts then let them go. I have started to feel some anxiety as PR approaches. Time is ticking, and we will be on planes to Vegas shortly. This anxiety is a good thing it just means I have things I need to get done before I leave. So this week has been the start of doing that preparation.

    Getting the Urge To Travel:
    I have had to save up all of my vacation days for PR this year, and I am beginning to feel it at this point. I can tell I am not the most focused these days in the office. My thoughts are starting to drift to PR and just being free from the office life. While my life is not that bad, I have begun to think about is the life I want. If this not the life that I want, then I have the power to change it. The big thing for me is just the amount of time I spend commuting to the office. Google sent my stats for the amount of time I spent in my car last week (I know this is creepy). I spent 40+ hours in my car this past month. A large part of that is my commute to the office.
    Because of travel for work last year, I was burnt out of from traveling. And I didn't want to see a plane for the first part of this year. As PR approaches, I am finding my wanderlust is returning. It is just this longing to experience something new. To get up and go. It is similar to the feeling of how I long to have (pizza) at this point.

  23. #123
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    Week 11.5

    Wow! We are down to the final week of the Fitness Transformation. I don't know what to say. It is a bit surreal to look at the tracking spreadsheet and only see seven days left. When I look back on the progress that I have made I am shocked. I was 270 pounds when I began my fitness journey six years ago while I was able to get down to a weight of 218lbs at one point. I was close to 250 pounds this time last year. Without PR I would not have made it to this point. If I get nothing else from the program; I am so grateful already. We know this is just the beginning. The workouts this past week haven't been as had thought they would be looking at the workout schedule. Early on in the program, looking ahead to these weeks all of the workouts seemed unmanageable. But I guess by this time our bodies have had time to adjust. So I have enjoyed some of the ones this week (DTP Included).
    I am looking forward to the Fitness Transformation to end. Not because I am sick of working out, but because I want the freedom to keep doing this and making this a consistent routine in my life.

    *This has changed* One of my big worries is what workout program I will do in the week between the fitness transformation and Rockstar. I have been looking at other programs on Bodybuilding.com for inspiration. I will likely try out some full body workouts that I can do 2 or 3 times that week, and I will probably also still do cardio most days.
    Also, I look forward to getting my calories back up to maintenance level. I hope this will restore my energy levels. The refeed day helped fuel me this week. But it will be nice to see how my body reacts to finally getting out of a caloric deficit. These last few weeks were tough energy-wise, but the results are showing. Although my weight went up 5-6 pounds this week after the refeed, my Navy Body Fat Measurements still went down it seems.
    *Mental Note: Make Appointment for Final DEXA! - Can't believe it is already time for this. I have seen some of the guy's photos, and everybody is looking good. You can see the changes. We are going to be masculine mofo's
    I had planned to workout the week before flying to PR. But I saw that is good to take 1 to 2 weeks off from lifting every few months. We have been hitting the gym hard and consistently so I will take that week to relax and make sure I get everything done before heading to Vegas.

    Getting Ready For Vegas:
    I have continued getting ready for Vegas little by little. I have been ordering various small items getting prepared for the trip. I had to mentally adjust to my new body size while ordering some clothes. For my entire adult life, I have been an XL-2XL size. But when I wanted to order some new stuff, I was an M-L based on the measurements. To be safe, I ordered a large. In the back of my mind, I am afraid they will be too small.
    I see the point of the style transformation at this point. Pretty much all of the clothes that I own don't fit at this point. Which has given me a good reason to go through and declutter. Some of the stuff I plan to take to Vegas I will have tailored this week.

    Listening to The Life Stylist Podcasts:
    This podcast episode was recommended by a fellow PR member. The host mentions that he is taking a 6-month break from dating relationships. This fitness transformation has primarily been a 3-month break from the worries of relationships and women. While some part of me has felt like I should be out there trying to date and be more active, It has felt right to focus on myself these past few months. Starting out on the fitness transformation I can remember having resistance to not being able to go out every weekend. But by the end, I am relishing this time. I am still also working my way through The Way of the Superior man. Reading this book and listening to the John Wineland podcasts has opened my eyes to the concept of the masculine and feminine essence. I realize now I didnít fully understand what genuinely being masculine entailed. But I am glad to be learning about this and want to incorporate into my life. When I got on this journey for self-improvement an area I wanted to improve on was in relationships. And I feel like Deida and Wineland give guys a roadmap to healthier more fulfilling relationships. Anyway, I thought back on me ten years ago, and I probably would have thought the shit they are talking about is weird. But now I read it, and to me it makes total sense. Funny how you grow and change if you keep your mind open.

    Side Thoughts
    Whenever I do go out, I find myself falling back into familiar patterns. Standing around not approaching. Not having fun. Nights are so much more interesting when you approach. That is why I can't wait until we get to PR and Vegas. I am ready to complete this transformation.

    What I am continually getting from PR is that there are so many different levels of things I wasn't aware. Fitness is just the beginning. I achieved one level of fitness. But in 3 months, Iíve accomplished an entirely different level. And once you get there, you never want to go back. While I want to have a cake or a treat. I would rather have my current physique.

  24. #124
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    Week 12 is done! I donít know where to begin. This was probably one of the toughest weeks for me. It was that weird place of almost being done but not quite there yet. Probably the first time the whole program I had a workout I wanted to skip (SF Abs - who I am kidding I have wanted to skip it many times). I had to make myself start. After I started, it was okay from there. This was a bittersweet week; I am sad that the transformation program is ending. But another part of me is ready not to spend 2-3 hours a day in the gym and get back to maintenance calories. But I canít argue with the results. This 12-week transformation has broken through some limited beliefs I didnít realize I had in this area of my life. I figured I just wasnít an abs person. And now I have abs. In the back of my mind, I have the thoughts of not messing this up. Those thoughts will keep me motivated to move forward.
    For this upcoming week, I plan to ďrestĒ from the gym for a bit. A part of me wants to push through and keep lifting. But I think it will be good to give my body a chance to rest a bit before Vegas. I was running on fumes the end of this week. I felt like I had just enough energy to do my workouts. After that my body would shut it down. I pretty much went to sleep at 8:30 pm on a Friday night. So I donít entirely switch it off I will do the YogaX, Stretch (maybe abs) and cardio before starting back next weekend with weights. I figure we will get advice on what program to do during PR as I plan to lift while in Vegas consistently.
    One of the other Rockstars is already on to the next goal of getting ready for the beach. I hadnít thought that far ahead. But that sounds like something that can motivate me. Fitness goal is to be Mediterranean beach ready! Shit, I got chills typing that. It is interesting seeing the different approaches everyone is taking on the time in between. Some will have a cheat meal, some not. Some are pushing straight through others will take a break. Although approaches are different, I can tell everyone is aiming for the same goal of improving.

    Results from the program:
    I got my final DEXA scan this Saturday, and the results put a smile on my face. I could see the difference in the mirror, but the actual results were better than I expected. I was able to get down to 11.5% and also put on 4 lbs of muscle from the time of my last scan. I had the person giving me the DEXA inquire about the program I am doing to get the result. Results, like we are achieving, are outside the norm. This has pretty much happened every time I go in at the moment.

    Taking Clothes To Tailor
    Most of my clothes donít fit at the moment. So I decided to take a few things I wanted to bring to Vegas to the tailor. My tailor was forthright and pretty much let me know the things that were worth getting done and the things I should buy new. For my blazers, she pretty much told me to buy new ones. I had lost enough weight that I had probably gone down a few sizes. I didnít realize this was possible. All the more reason for the fashion makeover in Vegas.

    Meal Prepping for the week:
    I will continue with what I have been doing for the eating this week. It works, and I donít mind eating the same stuff every day. It will take a bit of effort readjusting calories, so I spent part of the day planning my new portion sizes. After three months of eating reduced calories, you get used to not eating much. I was going to try doing my meal prep different this week. Try to bake my chicken instead of using the crockpot. Before I could get started, I asked myself ďWhat the hell are you doing!?Ē. After that, I went back to my old method. Still surprised at how comfortable I am eating chicken every day. I would throw in some variants, but Chicken/carb/veggie was my main go-to. And after you realize how easy it is to cook that basic meal, there is not a reason to go crazy eating other stuff.

    Day 85!
    This day after was surreal. It was the feeling of Iím done, but I'm not done. After three months things just become a habit. I woke up and weighed myself out of habit. It was nice not having to put in the tracker. Then I did my morning routine. I simplified my morning routine no supplements, pills or morning cardio today. So I was able to get to work earlier. Also no coffee. I switched to the middle of last week to try for a week. Shortly after that, we got the mandate to cut our intake to one cup a day. So I am practicing with 1 cup of decaf a day at the moment. I think I made it through the withdrawals as I had a lingering headache for a day and a half that I am sure was from no caffeine. The one cup a day is going to be tough. Sometimes I can drink up to 3-4 cups a day when in the office. Mostly out of habit and not needing the caffeine to pick me up. Speaking of coffee, I will keep my new way of drinking my coffee for the foreseeable future. My coffees used to be milk and sugar with some coffee in it. But it isnít too lousy black and at the most a dash of almond milk.
    Also decided I am going to give myself a no ďsnackĒ at work rule. There is always going to be someone bringing donuts, cake, etc. to the office. Having the I can't have it rule worked during this program, and I should keep it for the future.

    To conclude, it still shocks me the progress that can be made in 12 weeks. Like many of the other Rockstars starting at week one and looking at what lay ahead, it seemed daunting. And this wasnít easy, but it wasnít impossible either. And that is a big lesson from this fitness transformation. Once you have the reference experience of getting in shape like this. There isnít an excuse. I know I have it in me. It's just whether I choose to do it or not.

  25. #125
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    Once again I'm late with my blog post, this time more than ever and once again I'm sorry. Its been a super busy week and that two week period between finishing the fitness leg and the start of Rockstar has basically only been a few days for me due to other obligations like the wedding I'm attending today and roughly 5 days of traveling back and forth the country. Anyway, I have a few hours now before I actually have to get ready for the wedding and thought I might take this time to write about my fitness journey and reflect back on the whole thing and what I've learned. let me start by saying it been a hell of a journey and I've accomplished more than I ever thought possible, even If I didn't necessarily get as far as I hoped for. But I'm confident I have the knowledge and the ability to get to whatever fitness level I ever decide to pursue in the future.

    Fitness is an interesting topic. In a way its both more complex and more simple than most people believe it is. As a person that been struggling with my body image since I finished high school, I've tried a lot of different approaches before and everything has provided some results in some form but nothing really stuck with me and I would quickly gain back the weight I lost. Because of this, I must say I started out thinking this fitness program would be tougher on me than it actually ended up being. Yes, I've spent a LOT of time in the gym, sometimes up to 3 hours a day but once you're there, once you have your daily plan in front of you, you just do it. Its uncomfortable but every workout it in some way. It doesn't really get much more uncomfortable in week 12 than it is in week 1. And for some reason, I don't think its more or less uncomfortable for someone who's been at the grind for 10 years than it is for someone just starting out. You just get mentally comfortable with it being uncomfortable, every day every workout. And when that clicks you just get through it really. I can honestly say I miss the gym a lot since I haven't really had the time to go this week thanks to all the preparations.

    But I've been working out in some form more or less my entire life, whether it be weightlifting, CrossFit, martial arts or some other form of training. The big challenge for me was the nutrition part. I don't want to call it dieting because its not really a diet. There was a handful of things we weren't/aren't allowed to eat like dairy and sugar or anything processed or half processed, but other than that it all came down to nutritional values and macros. Counting calories. It's funny because deep down somewhere I think we all kind of know this. But were primitive beings, we always want to find an easier way to do things. We don't want to weigh everything and calculate the calories and the macros, its a hassle! We want our lives to be easy, and we want to be able to eat whatever we want. We want to enjoy the good things in life without consequences. Sadly life isn't that simple, and deep down we all know it isn't. I mean why would it be, nothing else is... Sure, every person doesn't have the exact same problems, some can eat a shit ton of junk and not gain a gram, but the same person can work out for weeks without seeing any results either. While others, like me, can't even look at pizza without gaining a bit of weight from pure guilt, but building muscles comes just as naturally.

    In the end, it all comes down to giving the body the right building materials for the right job and if you don't your results won't match the blueprint you started out with. It does take dedication and hard work. You DO need to know what you put in your body, and it's not really that complicated when you get into it. Some people have been thinking that I've been insane, some even said I've been manic, and ironically none of these people have ever achieved any of the fitness goals I've been aiming for. Still, they think they can come with "right advice" and wisdom to get to where I want to be. It reminds me of when I asked a lady for directions in Thailand. I could clearly see that she didn't know where I wanted to go but she didn't want to be rude so she just gave me the wrong direction. People do this all the time with pretty much everything, and of course, it's easier to give advice on something that you never even tried than it is to actually go out and try it out for yourself.

    Learning this has been an incredibly important takeaway. A lot of people want to help with good intention without really knowing that what they say doesn't really help, and sometimes people even get offended when you don't take their advice. Some people even get offended by seeing you get the results you work for and often these people don't see the hard work, they just see the results and start nagging. It's not always easy to keep your eyes on the goal and keep pushing, it's not always easy to ignore bad advice and comments and keep on pushing. But at some point, things switch. at some point, people start asking you for advice instead. People start complimenting you and want to know your secret. Sometimes the same people who a couple of weeks earlier said you don't have to work out every day, you can have a cheat meal now and then start saying things like "wow you really got ripped, what program are you on? what diet?"

    I don't know how many times I had to say "I'm not precisely on a diet." and then continued to explain the values of calorie intake and macros. You know what usually happens? Nothing really. A lot of people like planning things because you get to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment without actually doing anything. A lot of people have said "That's cool, I'll look more into that. I'll take a look at bodybuilding.com." and then keep on going with their day to day life and junk food. Hey, I get it it's not easy. I don't want to sound like some perfect hero that does everything right because I'm not. I know exactly how easy it is to get that burger or pizza instead of buying clean food and spend a couple of hours in the kitchen. I get it! Here is the thing though; all I did was make a decision and stick to it and a big thing I believe was having a fitness mentor or coach to check in with on a weekly basis. Someone that keeps you on track when you start doubting and have an answer to the questions that frequently comes up. Someone who done the work and got the results. It makes a huge difference. This isn't really hard to come by, I know of plenty of personal trainers that do online coaching and I believe its worth every penny. I even plan to hire one after I'm done with rockstar, someone that has the physic I want that have walked the walk and no can guide me through the challenge.

    Another weird realization is how much we build up the foods we crave in our head. I was literally having nightmares about eating pizza and sweets and woke up in a panic all sweaty before realizing it was just a dream. I planned out my first cheat meal weeks and weeks before actually having it. I knew where I wanted to go, what I wanted to get, what to drink, with whom I wanted to do it with. everything was planned. and when the day finally came and my friends and I sat there waiting for the food, a premium cheese and bacon burger in this little restaurant not far from my apartment in Stockholm it was like every fiber in my body was dancing. I was so excited! When the burger came in I pretty much inhaled it. It was gone faster than I could say Cheese my bacon. And for a moment I was absolutely euphoric. I'm not going to lie it was probably one of the best burgers in my life.

    Then it took maybe ten minutes and my mind went blank again. Euphoria gone. All I could think was "is this it?". I had been building up this huge feast dinner in my head for weeks and weeks that was gone in minutes and I got, what? Ten minutes of happiness? I'm not gonna lie, I've had two more cheat meals since then, one farewell & good luck dinner with my family at my favorite tapas place and this wedding. The food has been delicious but my guilt has been worse. I've worked too fucking hard to ruin this and I can't wait to get to Vegas and back to good clean food that I don't even have to cook for myself. I once read a quote somewhere on some wannabe influencers Instagram that said: "Nothing taste as good as being fit feels". At the time of reading this, I laughed. Partly because of it being such a cheesy quote, partly because of this "influencer". But for some reason, it stuck with me. For some reason, I've had it in the back of my mind for a long long time and I guess you could say its become somewhat of a mantra for me.

    I really can't wait to get back to my chicken and my salads. My vegetables and my fruits and berries. Something just happens down the line, I guess you could call that a mental switch too, where your taste buds and your brain just goes "Well I guess I'm not getting any junk, might as well start enjoying this". All of a sudden you start thinking "I can't wait to have the same meal I've had for the past weeks. Whats for dinner? No way, chicken salad again! My lucky day!" and suddenly nothing tastes as good as a fresh apple does.

    At the time of writing this, I'm kind of in an emotional limbo. I feel like I'm in the best shape of my life and I'm super happy about it. But I'm scared, actually I'm panicking that I won't be able to keep this up. This week has been busy and I've been stressed out of my mind with cleaning out my apartment, packing everything for Vegas, going to this wedding and so on and so forth. I haven't had the time for working out as much as I wanted and I had more cheat meals than I feel comfortable with, two so far and one today. It's always easy to blame the lack of time, it's always easy to say that next week and forward I'll be eating healthy again, but it just doesn't feel right. I'm scared that all my hard work will be for nothing and my results will slowly disappear. I almost feel like an institutionalized prisoner, like the old man in Shawshank Redemption. I just want to start over on the Gethin program and get back into the routine again. Get back into the grind at the gym where I just had to follow my program and eat my veggies. What so many sees as hard work I now see as a familiar and comfortable routine and its weird not being in it at the moment.

    At the same time, I've made some absolutely mad results in the past 12 weeks. I've gone from 89,6kg to 78.3kg. My muscle mass has gone from 63.3kg to 68.7kg and my fat mass has gone from 25.9kg to 9.6kg. From 29.0% body fat to 12.3% in 12 weeks. No magic, no gadgets no diets or tricks. Just clean food and hard work at the gym. I've done it once and I know I can do it again, and again If I ever need to. Just as my emotional lows right now is panic, my emotional high right now is euphoric for what I have accomplished in such a short time frame. It's been an emotional journey and on it, I've had a group of amazing men who side by side with me went through the entire thing. They've all been there for each other and for me, and I can only hope that they feel the same way. They have pushed me to do better, to be better and strive for better and I really can't wait to finally meet up with these heroes in Vegas in a couple of days.

    As this first chapter of this fucked up journey we're on comes to an end, its still only the beginning and we have so much to look forward to. I believe without a doubt that this will be the best, craziest summer of all our lives. We will laugh together, cry together, face challenges and our all our inner demons together, and we will all come out on the other side not only as better friends but as better men. I salute you all brothers in the trenches.

    Until we meet,

    Signing off.

  26. #126
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    General

    This week, the week before the start of Rockstar, was over-shadowed by the ďbreak weekĒ theme. Although, unlike other Rockstars who had hit their 12 week transformation end date, and were able to have their ďcheat mealsĒ, I was only in the midst of week 11. However, unlike many of the Rockstars, I began my fitness and nutrition transformation many months before the beginning of this 12 week transformation - almost more than 7.5 months before, to be exact.

    When I began my semi-retirement in December 2017, I weighed 227 lbs and was arguably in the worst shape of my life. I had spent the majority of the previous 10+ years working a mostly sedentary lifestyle: desk job, little to no physical activity, little to no social life (workaholic), eating a calorie-rich but nutrient-poor North American diet, and being a general abuser of alcohol. I couldnít imagine a social outing where copious amounts of alcohol and/or other substances were not consumed.

    Since then, I have achieved many milestones:

    1. I have quit
    2. I gradually increased my activity level from completely sedentary, to those comparable of an athlete (2+ hours at the gym, 5x per week)
    3. I have lost 50+ lbs in body weight (at an average rate of ~2lbs per week)
    4. I reduced my body fat % from 25+% (as recent as May 6th, 6 months into my journey) to an athletic <15% (hopefully next weekís DEXA scan confirms this)
    5. I managed to regulate my diet to a calorie-restricted (2000 cals/day) and macro-managed (30/30/40 carb/fat/protein) state
    6. I cut down on drinking, and ultimately, was able to stop altogether for a continuous 60 day period (to be repeated during Rockstar)
    7. Was able to improve my social life from near 0-nights per week (except hanging out with friends from work), to 1-2 nights per week spent in hip Toronto social venues, meeting and hanging with like minded pretty cool individuals.
    8. Learning that you can have fun without the use of alcohol and/or other substances and regularly practicing this approach to social situations (at the least using them in significant moderation to the past)
    9. Learning that a life transformation like this, although grueling and extremely hard, is possible in a relatively short period of time (6 months seems like a long time at the on-set though), but with small yet disciplined incremental steps every single day/week/month, the cascade effect of the results begins to show in ever-grander ways

    Fitness

    My general ďget 1 day ahead of scheduleĒ scheme from week 10 has been a success. In fact, being ahead only motivated me to stay ahead, so much so that even the night before my departure from Poland I walked to the gym in the rain, did a 75 minute DTP Chest/Back workout, and walked back home in the rain.

    This scheme, however, came at the cost of having to re-arrange the workout routine quite a bit - week 10 and 11 had a lot of muscle groups such as legs and abs, fairly close to each other (ie. Within 2-3 days). When I accelerated by a day and did slight re-arrangements, it cascaded the need for further changes due to reduced duration between the same muscle group being worked. With intense DTP ďDynamic Transformation PrincipleĒ workouts being the norm, it is more important than ever to ensure that all muscle groups get the rest they desperately need.

    The re-arrangements I orchestrated led to only 1-2 days rest intervals between the same muscle group being worked, which I felt were not enough rest (especially for legs and abs, which typically experience ďDelayed Onset PainĒ (ie. The height of muscle recovery pain is felt 48 hours or 2 days after the workout)), so I took the whole list of workouts and tinkered with it to a point that satisfied all the rest and frequency requirements, without sacrificing almost any workout (I think I lost out on 1 ab workout which I combined on day 74 and made sure I added extra intensity to compensate).

    Nutrition

    I generally underestimated how carb-deprived my body has been over the last 10 weeks, and the current ďbreak weekĒ, although in line with expectations (target of no more than 25% over the 2000 calories target), my body has just absorbed every excess calorie it could get its hands on. In total, over the 2 weeks I have been home and unable to completely keep my macros (more carbs than desired + excess calories this week) my body has gained 10lbs in weight, off of a low of ~170lbs back up to ~180lbs. Letís say that the 170 low was an ďall time minimumĒ (so not something I could keep), in which case, this break week, at its worst, saw a retraction of progress from a weight of 172-174 (173), which means I have arguably put back on about 7 lbs (OUCH!!).

    I have, however, been keeping a close eye on my body fat and navy method measurements and it is very hard to say exactly where this excess weight has been stored by my body. My waist has not really increased significantly (about 2-3 cm at its narrowest, but no growth in waist size in my navel or hips, so within intra-day normal swing tolerances) and my neck and thighs have gained about 1 cm, but in general that is not so drastic. Update: my abs did have noticeable size changes.

    I have implemented a change in mind frame: this week has been a "bulking week" - in the past few days and the week to come, I will return to the "loser" diet track, calorie restrict to 2000/day, and have already seen my weight drop and stabilize to 173.1 lbs.

  27. #127
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    Fitness Reflection

    I’m really happy with the results I’ve achieved, especially given the limitations I’ve had to deal with.

    Between October and when Rockstar started, I lost 15 pounds. Over the course of the fitness program, I lost another 30. Early in the program, I was losing mostly subcutaneous fat, but now my visceral fat has started to come down. Because I started late, I kept at the fitness program during the 2 week break and now I’ve probably got another 10 pounds to go before my 6-pack starts showing. I’m hoping to achieve that over Rockstar so that when I get back I can increase my calorie intake and start adding back some of that weight as muscle.

    And while I haven’t been adding any muscle mass, I barely lost any over the course of the training and given that I was already a competitive athlete and what I’d already lost going into it, my trainer and dietician have said that my results are extremely impressive. (And it’s even more impressive given that we actually *increased* my calorie intake while making my weight go down faster.) In retrospect, I should have taken a photo of how absurdly loose fitting my shirts were before taking them a tailor to get them adjusted. I think that makes the point *better* than the other photos I’ve been taking to track progress.

    Once I’d lost most of the fat in my face, my mentor encouraged me to get some headshots taken and use them on dating apps. That was great advice and since I did that, I’ve had dates literally every night I’ve been free. This is mostly a carry-over from the 10-day, but I feel like doing that has helped prepared me for Rockstar.

    I’m excited about getting to meet everyone in person. But I’m stressed that I’m not going to be able to get packed and ready on time and may end up forgetting to take care of something or wrap something up, but I’ve been working hard at freeing everything up so that I won’t be distracted during Rockstar. And I generally stress about stuff like this, so I’m probably fine. I’ll be packed tomorrow so I can fly to Vegas the following day.

    I’m also a little worried about taking so much time off from training for my sport since the US may be sending me to some international tournaments right after Rockstar (assuming I still want to go to them) and since I’ve been invited to stay in Europe and do preseason training with some Olympic teams there before coming home. They advised us to plan on taking some time after Rockstar to reflect and integrate before going back to work. So I’m trying to decide if spending another 3-4 weeks in Europe doing my sport is a good way to do that or not.

    Since this is life altering, I’m wondering how I’m going to be at the end of things. The 10-day was amazing, so 9 weeks is probably going to be more intense and have a bigger impact. I’ve got a lot of things I want to work on in light of the 10-day and given how much the 10-day uncovered for me, I’m sure a lot more stuff is going to come to light that I haven’t thought of. So I wonder how much of my current life is going to still be intact once I’m done with things. It’s scary and exciting at the same time. I don’t really feel ready for this, but my mentor has told me that I am. So I’m taking a leap of faith on trust and we’ll see where this goes.

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