How should I have escalated (if at all)

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  1. #1
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    How should I have escalated (if at all)

    I'll try to keep it detailed but laconic.

    I cold approached a guy and girl in a bar. Just making conversation. (Both were much younger than me and both good looking). I assumed they were together but the girl later told me that they were not. I asked her about herself. Got a bit of kino going. Got her laughing. Had him laughing. She got me to feel her muscles and I teased her and stuff. It was going well, but then she kept talking about how handsome the barman was. I agreed and amplified (''Yeah, he's hot. I'd fuck him!) which, if that was a shit test, I assumed I'd passed. However, I actually 'failed' because i'd now lost my confidence in trying to escalate any further as I was thinking that that was her way of saying ''I'm not into you sexually, dude. Don't try it''. She looked at him a few times, too.

    She added me on facebook a few nights after (as did he). I messaged her saying I had fun and I hinted at us going out alone in order to give her some 'bait' and test the waters, but she didn't seem to take it and from now I'd assumed I was simply in her friendzone and she wasn't interested.

    I saw her twice over the course of the next month on nights out. Both interaction were short and very awkward. It was weird. Felt like she simply didn't want to speak to me and was almost slightly rude.

    Now a few nights back I saw her with the original guy friend of hers (I approached them as a group on the initial night)

    He called me over and we all sat and drank together. I decided to give it another shot with this girl, and she was more talkative again this time.

    I wasn't really sure how to 'game' her. I asked her questions about herself. What she'd been up too etc. I added physicality when i'd tease her or to make a point etc. (Does this qualify as 'game'? If NOT, what sort of things should I have been doing/talking about?)

    She confessed that she has some anxiety and depression issues which might explain her behaviour the last few times i'd seen her? A bit shy? I dunno.

    But all this time, I wasn't getting any IOI's back from her and so I coudn't just jump in for the kiss or whatever. Maybe she also felt judged with having her guy friend witting with us? (they seem to be like best friends). She told me that she had to get back as she had a cerfew that night or something. I gave her a hug and she left

    I basically like her. I'm not sure how to get her attracted to me. If I sensed some attraction, I could make a move without facing an embarrassing rejection (more embarrassing than a cold approach, as I now kind of know these people)

    I need ideas on how to 'game' her. What things should I say/talk about etc when I next see her which i'm bound to do. How should the conversation look? How to attempt to escalate in lieu of any obvious attraction? Should I just 'assume attraction' and go for it somehow! Risk an embarrassing rejection which will just mean that I won't really try to speak too either of them again, but not a huge deal I guess



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    Usually when girls talk about other guys being hot in front of you it's not the best.. but I'm short: next time you see her try and isolate her to a bar or something. You can more properly gauge attraction with the compliance of following you, plus you'll be away from any social pressures she has. You won't really find out until you try.
    When I am writing in red, it's as an Attraction Forums mod or admin. When I write in normal text, it's just me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by welling View Post
    I need ideas on how to 'game' her. What things should I say/talk about etc when I next see her which i'm bound to do. How should the conversation look? How to attempt to escalate in lieu of any obvious attraction? Should I just 'assume attraction' and go for it somehow! Risk an embarrassing rejection which will just mean that I won't really try to speak too either of them again, but not a huge deal I guess
    The issue isn't this particular situation; the issue is you don't feel comfortable in your abilities to build attraction and escalate with women in general.

    This is very typical, no one ever gets past it 100%, it's just part of our growth as humans and as men.

    You're in that very common and ironic situation where your fear of failure holds you back from success. If you're embarrassed by rejection, then you're not getting rejected enough. You like a girl. That's normal. A girl turns you down. Also normal. What is there to be embarrassed about... being a normal guy who has the balls to say what he wants and the grace to accept "no"?

    ...

    For this particular situation it's tough to say what you "should have" done. It depends so much on subtle dynamics that aren't conveyed in a post. It depends on stuff you learn and react to intuitively based on the excessive practice you're doing by regularly opening sets.

    I will say: if these people care about you getting shot down, then they don't deserve to be your friends regardless. But probably they will actually respect you more once they find out you're the guy who has the balls to make a move.

    First things first: forget all this group meeting B.S. Call or text this girl and tell her you're doing [whatever] and you'd like her to come along with you. When you're alone with her, attract and escalate according to the manual.

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    Quote Originally Posted by gq1 View Post
    The issue isn't this particular situation; the issue is you don't feel comfortable in your abilities to build attraction and escalate with women in general.


    First things first: forget all this group meeting B.S. Call or text this girl and tell her you're doing [whatever] and you'd like her to come along with you. When you're alone with her, attract and escalate according to the manual.
    By 'manual' you are referring to the magic bullets book?

    It can be a bit confusing, because from skimming teh forum, it seems as if most of the Attraction material/routines/DHV stories etc don't seem to be suggested by even the mods here! It seems as though 'game' across the boards has migrated too a more 'natural game', but then I find myself getting in my head about what exactly I need to do/say to get a girl 'attracted' to me

    And if I manage to get her alone, should I 'assume attraction' and try to escalate (beyond just friendly touch) even in lieu of any clear IOI's from her?

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    Quote Originally Posted by welling View Post
    By 'manual' you are referring to the magic bullets book?

    It can be a bit confusing, because from skimming teh forum, it seems as if most of the Attraction material/routines/DHV stories etc don't seem to be suggested by even the mods here! It seems as though 'game' across the boards has migrated too a more 'natural game', but then I find myself getting in my head about what exactly I need to do/say to get a girl 'attracted' to me

    And if I manage to get her alone, should I 'assume attraction' and try to escalate (beyond just friendly touch) even in lieu of any clear IOI's from her?
    Magic Bullets can answer most questions people have about game for sure. Also, the Routines Manual 1&2 have more structured, well for lack of better words, routines. While I believe they are valuable, I take the dhv stories as templates or outlines for building your own. You don't want to copy a story about partying with Victoria's secret models if that's not your style. I never suggest copying something word for word unless it's to get guys who completely freeze up a script to start actually taking. Otherwise, I say to use the material as blueprints to build your own stories and routines.

    Also, sometimes guys look for these huge IOIs like she's going to send up a flare when she's attracted to you. You'll miss a lot of opportunities looking for obvious signs. Plus, you're in your head when you are thinking about IOIs. If you isolate sometimes they are a little more obvious if she isn't feeling social pressures. Get her alone, talk/escalate, and always test the waters for pulling her.
    When I am writing in red, it's as an Attraction Forums mod or admin. When I write in normal text, it's just me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by welling View Post
    By 'manual' you are referring to the magic bullets book?
    By "manual" i mean the overarching and universal techniques of building attraction & physically escalating. Regardless of whether they are taught by love systems, self-taught, or some from another program.

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