Hot girl at work, boss creates uncomfortable situation for us.

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  1. #1
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    Hot girl at work, boss creates uncomfortable situation for us.

    I work in Asia. My boss (a successful and magnanimous woman of around 40—let's call her M) likes to flirt with me and "tease" me about the women in my life (to which I routinely respond with sarcastic jokes, getting a laugh out of her).

    At my office, there's a new coworker we'll call K. She's gorgeous.

    I was interested in K from the moment I saw her. However, I've always been uncomfortable with the idea of pursuing a relationship at work (especially since I particularly value this job). Additionally, there is always the risk of awkwardness at work if I subtly indicate interest and am subtly rejected. Either that or I'm neurotic and think too much.

    Anyway, I was sitting at the lunch table talking to K one day. For some reason, we were really clicking, asking each other lots of questions about our lives, etc. So my boss, Mia, is standing over in another part of the room, behind K, and sees us talking, so she starts doing this sort of exaggerated "smack it" motion, swinging her arms like she's slapping dat ass. It's kind of funny. So clearly she is referring to me and K. I make an "eye roll" face and try to be stoic about it.

    Now, keep in mind, I'm not sure at this point if K is just being friendly, or is actually interested.

    Anyway, a couple of days later, I come in and sit down at the lunch table and there is K and my boss. We are all casually talking about work, when my boss pointedly and loudly says to me, in front of K, "K is so beautiful, isn't she? Look at her perfect tan skin and her gorgeous big eyes". I couldn't really judge Kia's response—maybe some sort of quiet laugh?—and I feel somewhat put on the spot. What does a guy say to that?

    So I respond with "Yeah, she really is quite the angel, sent straight down from heaven." Then, wanting to include K in the conversation (how else would she be made to feel comfortable?), I ask her if her hair was its natural color (obviously not, she's Asian). I felt later like it was sort of a dumb thing to say, but I couldn't think of anything at the time.

    Anyway, since that day, I feel like K has suddenly been less open with me, like she's saying hi less than she used to, etc. And every interaction I have with her feels somewhat forced on my part.

    And I don't know whether K is interested, or whether she's talked to my boss about me, or what.

    Any ideas why this might be the case? WHY would my boss have said that in front of K? How should I proceed, apart from just acting as if nothing ever happened and waiting for some IOI from K?



  2. #2
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    Anyway, a couple of days later, I come in and sit down at the lunch table and there is K and my boss. We are all casually talking about work, when my boss pointedly and loudly says to me, in front of K, "K is so beautiful, isn't she? Look at her perfect tan skin and her gorgeous big eyes". I couldn't really judge Kia's response—maybe some sort of quiet laugh?—and I feel somewhat put on the spot. What does a guy say to that?
    Why is this a problem for you? If she is that beautiful then there is nothing weird about actually agreeing with someone who thinks the same.
    You make the situation awkward for yourself, but it's really not necessary. Your response is actually pretty good, and I wouldn't overthink too much about the question about her hair.

    You take the situation too seriously, that's why it feels forced for you to talk to her! And now you start to think if maybe your boss and her have been talking about you. Just stop that, that will not work in your favor. You shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed by jokes from your boss or anyone else, now you feel like K has been less open, but most likely that's because she feels you are interacting with her differently and she feels it makes you awkward. Another possibility is that she doesn't want rumors to spread around the office about you two, and is investing less in you.

    Waiting for an IOI is also not really productive, if you like her that much go find out if she feels the same. But dating co workers are always risky so if you don't want to take that risk, then don't do it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Duut View Post
    ...
    Well said.

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    A recent British study accused 1 in 4 bosses of being bad, while a Managers can change our work situation.

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