Approaching in a Mall

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  1. #1
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    Approaching in a Mall

    Not much really to tell. I approached maybe five or six women and I'm just starting off with just asking for directions or if they know were a certain Avenue is. Most of the responses were pretty positive one girl sort of acted weirded out but I think she was just shy. Just trying to get out of my comfort zone and getting used to approaching strangers.

    Wp



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    So I did my first compliment to a hot store clerk with fake double D's. I bought some Cologne and as I was paying for it I said to her, this is a really random thing to say but you are a very stunning. It was kind of like she was putting on an act as if to act like she was flattered. I'm sure a girl like this probably gets complemented all the time. I asked her if she was from Edmonton and she said no she's from Newfoundland. We sort of talked back-and-forth and I just said I'm WP (no I didn't say Wolfpack I said my real name)

    Shook her hand and said it was nice to meet you she said nice to meet you too and I left. Kind of felt a bit like a wasted effort but at least I tried and I guarantee you 100% she has some steady boyfriend.

    Wp

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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfpack View Post
    I guarantee you 100% she has some steady boyfriend.
    Doesn't matter. You didn't do what you did because you hoped to be having sex with her later. You did this to practice, and this was literally your first attempt repetition. It's going to take at least 10-50 times before your delivery start becoming good and you'll get better responses.

    Look at what you just did? It was a 100% win, it could not possibly have gone better.

    Accept that this will take time, and it will require a lot of incremental steps before you are in goal. Try to control your negative self-talk. Do what you did today again tomorrow, but tomorrow, do it two times. If you progress, even if it's in 0.01% steps, then it's only a question of time before you're there.

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    I was very confident and didn't fold under pressure. With hired guns I feel a little more confident cause they have to interact with you. But that's not the solution. It's to get out of my comfert zone. Soon my goal is to walk up to any one and do this. And in all fairness, I've seen this hot girl in this store before and from my observation, she is cold... Something about her she's not happy or something. But like Tank pointed out, no out come goal just trying to get good at this.

    One thing i don't like about the mall, today I had a few jailbait chicks checking me out, and girls out with there Mom's and Dad's which would make approaching very difficult in front of their parents! Lol...

    Wp

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    Shook her hand and said it was nice to meet you she said nice to meet you too and I left. Kind of felt a bit like a wasted effort but at least I tried and I guarantee you 100% she has some steady boyfriend.
    1) If it felt like wasted effort then you opened with an agenda

    2) You can guarantee us that 100% can you? Why, because if she was single there would be no way she would fail to succumb to your casanova prowess, she would be powerless to resist? Pretty arrogant statement!

    Tank is right, you have horrific inner game right now. Your self talk and mindset is completely toxic. You can't see success when it's staring you right in the face.

    If you cannot see a success in this, then honestly you really are going to find it damn difficult to near impossible to complete this journey. Why? Because you're only every going to reward yourself when you get laid, and that isn't going to happen the majority of times you speak to a woman.
    Vox - Love Systems Instructor
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    Get laid??? I'm just hoping to hopefully eventually get an honest phone number and go on an honest date!


    Quote Originally Posted by Vox View Post
    1) If it felt like wasted effort then you opened with an agenda

    2) You can guarantee us that 100% can you? Why, because if she was single there would be no way she would fail to succumb to your casanova prowess, she would be powerless to resist? Pretty arrogant statement!

    Tank is right, you have horrific inner game right now. Your self talk and mindset is completely toxic. You can't see success when it's staring you right in the face.

    If you cannot see a success in this, then honestly you really are going to find it damn difficult to near impossible to complete this journey. Why? Because you're only every going to reward yourself when you get laid, and that isn't going to happen the majority of times you speak to a woman.

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    It's the same thing. If you cannot see the above as a success and instead see it as a failure then you're fucked.

    You approached a girl directly for the first time, something you've been very uncomfortable with the idea of doing up to now.

    Pat yourself on the back for that, regardless of how she responded.
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    Telling a woman you don't know that she is stunning is a monumental leap. You know how many guys would dare do that? Out of all the men in the world it's maybe 1 in 5000, and even many of them would only do it very rarely. Even if she had told you to go die in a fire, it would have been a tremendous success. The success lies in the fact that you did it, not in how she reacted. The girls reactions will get better as you practice. And then she actually reacted pretty well. That's a nice bonus.

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfpack View Post
    Get laid??? I'm just hoping to hopefully eventually get an honest phone number and go on an honest date!
    If you do this right, that will start happening, it's only a question of time. Getting a date is an overarching goal. The incremental goal for now is... you know what, I'll throw that back on you. What do you feel is the next incremental goal? What will you be working on for, say, the next 20 approaches? Make it very specific, measurable and attainable. Make victory easy for yourself

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    What I'm starting to notice is to change my location. It seems in the West End when I go to the West Mall theirs either just a lot of jailbait or couples walking around for the most part so it's very hard to really make an approach. I've noticed downtown Jasper Avenue there seems to be more single older women at least in their 20s walking around. So instead of mall game I'm going to try Street game and see how it works. My attitude right now like when I complemented the sales clerk at the mall is pretty much just, fuck it give her a complement who cares how she reacts.

    I remember back when I was in my 20s and early 30s that was when I seem to have the most success with women. You got to get out of your head and just don't give a fuck and have the who gives a shit how she reacts to you attitude. It's easier said than done especially with girls are really gorgeous but once you kind of have that mentality it's really a numbers game and the more approaches you do sooner or later you're going to strike it up with somebody.

    Wp
    Quote Originally Posted by Tank View Post
    Telling a woman you don't know that she is stunning is a monumental leap. You know how many guys would dare do that? Out of all the men in the world it's maybe 1 in 5000, and even many of them would only do it very rarely. Even if she had told you to go die in a fire, it would have been a tremendous success. The success lies in the fact that you did it, not in how she reacted. The girls reactions will get better as you practice. And then she actually reacted pretty well. That's a nice bonus.

    If you do this right, that will start happening, it's only a question of time. Getting a date is an overarching goal. The incremental goal for now is... you know what, I'll throw that back on you. What do you feel is the next incremental goal? What will you be working on for, say, the next 20 approaches? Make it very specific, measurable and attainable. Make victory easy for yourself

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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfpack View Post
    My attitude right now like when I complemented the sales clerk at the mall is pretty much just, fuck it give her a complement who cares how she reacts
    Nice

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfpack View Post
    It's easier said than done especially with girls are really gorgeous
    Meh. Useless thought. Almost everything is easier said than done. That's the reason so little gets done, unless it's important enough for people.

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    Today I approached two hot young girls at the mall, asked them where this club was at. The interaction went pretty well, they were telling me where it was. So I said this is random but if you guys aren't doing anything later today I am going to be heading over there. They just laughed and said thanks but we're Okay. I find this approaching in a mall really no point to it. Vox is saying women are definitely open to meeting cool guys. I disagree most women do not want to be approached they just want to mind their own business. You can tell by the vibe in their body language. You want to start seeing results not just getting blown off by women one after the other. There's got to be a better way to meeting women then this...

    Wp

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    Vox is saying women are definitely open to meeting cool guys. I disagree most women do not want to be approached they just want to mind their own business.
    The key is meeting cool guys. No offence, but you're not the finished product yet.
    You went from asking them where the club was to inviting them to the club.....of course they're going to say no if they don't know anything about you.

    Yet again, you are looking for results only and basing everything off that.

    No plans to give yourself props for approaching hot girls in the mall?
    Not too long ago you had lots of approach anxiety, so there has clearly been progress but I suspect you might not be seeing that at the moment with your focus on the moment you get rejected from a club invite.
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    It's not just that. The interaction with those two girls went pretty well. You can disagree but the really pretty girls seem very stuck up and unfriendly and even if you just try the can you tell me were such and such a place is they just coldly say no I don't know and keep walking. I don't see how all of a sudden walking up to somebody there just going to be interested in you?? Even making eye contact every women won't even look at me,they just look the other way so why would I walk up to somebody who seems like they don't want to be approached? Right now that's what I'm experiencing any way.

    Wp

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    You can disagree but the really pretty girls seem very stuck up and unfriendly
    Yes I will disagree with you. I am the one who coaches this stuff, have done countless number of approaches and experienced way more and have also seen countless clients (hundreds) of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds succeed at this stuff.

    So, YOU can disagree, but to be honest your current mindset suggests to me that you will really struggle with this stuff. Your mindset is so staunchly negative and you snap-back so easily into a negative frame of mind.

    You need to keep an eye on that because I am not overstating when I say that alone will prevent you from ever reaching your goals with this.

    Today I approached two hot young girls at the mall, asked them where this club was at. The interaction went pretty well, they were telling me where it was.
    the really pretty girls seem very stuck up and unfriendly
    Which one is it? See what I mean. This is an example of your mindset fucking you up. You have a glimpse of experience here contrary to your current beliefs. I'd concentrate more on getting more of that experience
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    I would have to see how you approach girls in a mall. You're from Toronto right? I used to go to Toronto all the time. Back in 2009 I went to Toronto for holidays and what I noticed was there seems to be more single women out there or at the time there seemed to be any way. And this is what really blew my mind when I was there..

    Here's this smoking hor cute young 19 or 20-year-old standing on a street corner handing out flyers to a health club wearing short Jean shorts and a tank top. As I'm sitting at a traffic light I'm watching this girl handled out flyers and every dude was just ignoring her and walking right by her or they would just take one and keep walking.

    I use to live in Winnipeg Manitoba for quite a few years and the first thing that popped into my mind was holy shit! If this girl was in Winnipeg or Edmonton she would have five guys trying to pick her up and take her home on the spot. So I guess my point is the men out there don't seem to be chasing after women or the women seem to be more available out there compared to out here.

    Last Sunday I went down Whyte Ave and then I went down Jasper and I swear every second and third girl you see has a boyfriend...

    I think you can also take this into consideration that I'm 44 years old but I look like I'm in my early to mid 30s. The girls I'm approaching her easily in their early 20s and it could be that most women that age would rather be with guys that own age. Again I'm not trying to make excuses but I think there's a lot of truth to that.

    I went into this clothing store today and there was these two super gorgeous young girls and you could tell they had the confident were hot and we know it kind of attitude. As they paid their bill to leave I was going to open with I just wanted to say you're very beautiful but instead I open with do you know where certain places and just by her body language she just kind a looked at me said no I don't know and walked away.

    And I'm sorry but limiting beliefs or whatever but it tells me there's no fucking way most guys are going to stand a chance with girls like this because they won't fucking give you a chance! They don't want to give you a chance! It tells me that their standards are so high that unless your Brad Pitt don't bother or they probably already got steady douche bag boyfriend's.

    I can approach girls and I can be very smooth and confident. Hell I can even smooth like they don't even phase me. But the point I'm trying to make is there's no interest. It's like you're just wasting your time.

    The girls are there to shop because that's a women love to do and not get approached by total random strangers. The few interactions I have with the women is they really don't have time and they're only responding to me to be polite and nothing more.

    I know in the PUA videos when guys are approaching girls on the street in the videos the girl seem so friendly and outgoing well I can tell you out here they're not anything like that. Some of them are most of them aren't. And that's with killing my confidence and my game. As far as being outcome dependent, well guys get into this because they want to start seeing positive results that the girls actually interested and not just wasting your time.

    Wp








    QUOTE=Vox;1031412]Yes I will disagree with you. I am the one who coaches this stuff, have done countless number of approaches and experienced way more and have also seen countless clients (hundreds) of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds succeed at this stuff.

    So, YOU can disagree, but to be honest your current mindset suggests to me that you will really struggle with this stuff. Your mindset is so staunchly negative and you snap-back so easily into a negative frame of mind.

    You need to keep an eye on that because I am not overstating when I say that alone will prevent you from ever reaching your goals with this.





    Which one is it? See what I mean. This is an example of your mindset fucking you up. You have a glimpse of experience here contrary to your current beliefs. I'd concentrate more on getting more of that experience[/QUOTE]

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    I'm approaching her easily in their early 20s and it could be that most women that age would rather be with guys that own age.
    A lot of women are fine with older men. Problem is currently (and this can change) you are not the kind of older guy they want.


    The few interactions I have with the women
    Come back to me when you've had more than a few interactions. Right now you're basing all your beliefs on your own groundless assumptions based on barely any experience at all.
    Do you see the problems here?


    I can approach girls and I can be very smooth and confident.
    No you can't. I guarantee you that.

    Your entire premise is extremely arrogant. To conclude that it's all down to just looks presumes that you are this incredibly charming and confident guy with everything going for him, except looks. I highly doubt you are such a guy.

    Either that or you are just so fixated on the looks thing that you are not paying any attention at all to all the other stuff. By my money is on the former since you think you're charming, smooth and confident already.


    That may seem harsh, but you are constantly shooting down everything anyone tells you here in order to cling on to your beliefs and not able to see the wood for the trees. In truth, unless this belief of yours changes, then I really don't see why you bother continuing with this stuff.

    Why do you bother to continue actually? You hold the belief that it is all about looks, and you don't have them. So why then do you even bother? What's the point?
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    What are you sugesting? I should just give up? What's your opinion




    P
    Quote Originally Posted by Vox View Post
    A lot of women are fine with older men. Problem is currently (and this can change) you are not the kind of older guy they want.




    Come back to me when you've had more than a few interactions. Right now you're basing all your beliefs on your own groundless assumptions based on barely any experience at all.
    Do you see the problems here?




    No you can't. I guarantee you that.

    Your entire premise is extremely arrogant. To conclude that it's all down to just looks presumes that you are this incredibly charming and confident guy with everything going for him, except looks. I highly doubt you are such a guy.

    Either that or you are just so fixated on the looks thing that you are not paying any attention at all to all the other stuff. By my money is on the former since you think you're charming, smooth and confident already.


    That may seem harsh, but you are constantly shooting down everything anyone tells you here in order to cling on to your beliefs so it's time to get harsh on you in the hope we can actually crack you and give you a chance here. In truth, unless this attitude of yours changes, then I really don't see why you bother continuing with this stuff.

    Why do you bother to continue actually? You hold the belief that it is all about looks, and you don't have them. So why then do you even bother? What's the point?

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    That's a conundrum I'm putting to you. I want you to follow your own logic and answer the question.

    Your entire premise is that it's all looks based and if you don't have the looks, you're screwed.
    You assert that you do not have the looks.

    Therefore, if you do not have the looks, and it is indeed all about the looks, then why are you continuing to bother?
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    I can attract some women. I don't know how to build real attraction. It's pretty hard if not impossible to just get in a relationship just approaching some random stranger. I also realize that just asking for directions or the time your never going to build any attraction. You have to go direct and right now I don't have the balls to do that. 90% of the women I see aren't showing any interest in me at all when I walk through the malls or street.

    Wp



    Quote Originally Posted by Vox View Post
    That's a conundrum I'm putting to you. I want you to follow your own logic and answer the question.

    Your entire premise is that it's all looks based and if you don't have the looks, you're screwed.
    You assert that you do not have the looks.

    Therefore, if you do not have the looks, and it is indeed all about the looks, then why are you continuing to bother?

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    I can attract some women.
    But how can you do this if it is all based on looks? That's impossible based on your premise.
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    I have these blue contact lenses. I have been complemented by qute a few girls how nice and blue my eyes are. Taking care of my skin and hair style. Wear elevator shoos that makes me look over 6'2. Just trying to be over all cool and confident. I can sort of carry on conversations with girls. I just can't number close do to the fact I never ask them out or ask for there number. I feel it's sort of crossing the line. That and I didn't build enough attraction so felt no point in asking for the number.

    Wp



    Quote Originally Posted by Vox View Post
    But how can you do this if it is all based on looks? That's impossible based on your premise.

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    Wolfpack, you are like a guy who picked up a guitar for the first time in your life, played it for 5 minutes, and now you say guitars doesn't work because you're not as good as Jimi Hendrix

    You're going to do hundreds and hundreds of approaches before you get a date. Daygame approaching is playing game at its very hardest level. when you see an instructor do extremely well infield, it's because he has done it for hundreds of hours AND because you only see the best clips. Even instructors have to approach several women and have several go-to-nowhere interactions before he gets a date. And that's guys who have reached a very high level of game, top 0.01%. You think you need to do less approaches in your life than an instructor do in one hour, but you expect better result.

    Stop expecting results for a long time or I'll have to start questioning your intelligence.

    Say the following: "I will be doing 500 approaches, and a lot of work in between, before I get a solid number"

    Also, you posted some pictures some years ago. I can't find them now, but I remember that you had a weird smile. Is that something you have been working on? If you don't smile at least somewhat genuinely, and don't have a bewildered look in your eyes when you approach, then it wont work if even if you do a million approaches.

    Sorry for the truth bombs, but it's now or never man. The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.

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    I think a lot of the problem is I'm looking for IOI's and cause I'm not getting them I'm thinking to me self these girls aren't at all interested in me. Also I'm not ballsing up enough. Yesterday at the juice bar there was an attractive girl by her self standing ordering some food. I was standing beside her and just ordered a bottle water. I leaned over to her and said there's so many good tasting pastries here but so fattening! She kind of smiled but didn't say anything. Then she sat down by her self eating.

    I wanted to go over and ask if I could join her but I'm in my head to much that I would be bothering her... Like she just wants to be left alone... So I need to man up more. Im getting better at approaching and just making small talk but don't have the nerve yet to pull the Paul Janka or Goodlookinglooser shit...

    Wp




    Quote Originally Posted by Hurley View Post
    Wolfpack, you are like a guy who picked up a guitar for the first time in your life, played it for 5 minutes, and now you say guitars doesn't work because you're not as good as Jimi Hendrix

    You're going to do hundreds and hundreds of approaches before you get a date. Daygame approaching is playing game at its very hardest level. when you see an instructor do extremely well infield, it's because he has done it for hundreds of hours AND because you only see the best clips. Even instructors have to approach several women and have several go-to-nowhere interactions before he gets a date. And that's guys who have reached a very high level of game, top 0.01%. You think you need to do less approaches in your life than an instructor do in one hour, but you expect better result.

    Stop expecting results for a long time or I'll have to start questioning your intelligence.

    Say the following: "I will be doing 500 approaches, and a lot of work in between, before I get a solid number"

    Also, you posted some pictures some years ago. I can't find them now, but I remember that you had a weird smile. Is that something you have been working on? If you don't smile at least somewhat genuinely, and don't have a bewildered look in your eyes when you approach, then it wont work if even if you do a million approaches.

    Sorry for the truth bombs, but it's now or never man. The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfpack View Post
    I think a lot of the problem is I'm looking for IOI's
    So stop doing that. The girls will start to show interest when your game gets better. It's going to take a lot of practice.

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfpack View Post
    I said there's so many good tasting pastries here but so fattening! She kind of smiled but didn't say anything. Then she sat down by her self eating.
    You said one line, then you expected her to take over?

    Did you have something to follow up with?
    Are you sure she even heard what you said, did you get her attention first? Did you talk loud enough?
    Did you smile when you approached?
    When you leaned in, where you too much up in her face?
    Even sure she spoke English?

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfpack View Post
    in my head to much that I would be bothering her... Like she just wants to be left alone...
    Don't jump to conclusions. Would you have a problem with a cool girl starting a conversation with you? Neither does girls. But you have to become a cool guy first. That takes a lot of time to change.

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    No with the girl at the juice bar I was just standing next to her as she was paying her tab. I couldn't think of anything to say so I just thought I would use a situational opener. So I used the "there's a lot of tasty pastrys here but very fattening." She did hear me and she kind of smiled and you're right maybe she doesn't speak English I'm not sure. I did notice when she went and sat down she looked my way before she sat down. Would that be an invitation?

    Again my problem is I'm jumping to assumptions that it seems inappropriate to just approach a total stranger. I got it in my head like when I see on the news some fucken nut case who stalks women in shopping malls and kid naps them and I'm worried that by approaching women they might fear I'm one of those guys even tho I'm obveousky not! I need to just relax and just have fun and be playful with this and not worrie about the worse case scenario... Most if not all the approaches and interactions are pretty positive with the odd cold chick who uncomfortable.

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    One thing I would like to touch upon. When I was talking to the two girls asking them if they knew where the club was and then I said hey this is just random but why don't you guys join me the redhead immediately had this Oh okay we get what you're up to. And the really cute blonde was also like oh okay you're just trying to pick us up ha ha Ha. Lol

    so I would say it's probably better to just go direct instead of asking them where something is and then just saying hey do you want to join me later on.

    Just my two cents.

    wp

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    Keep challenging those beliefs

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    Will do

    Wp



    Quote Originally Posted by Tank View Post
    Keep challenging those beliefs

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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfpack View Post
    ... You can disagree but the really pretty girls seem very stuck up and unfriendly ...
    It doesn't matter if you're right or wrong about this since you can't control it, and it shouldn't affect what you're doing to develop yourself.

    Consistent practice will eventually get you where you want to be. To begin with you may want to blindly accept the advice of the coaches as it could jump your ahead faster, vs. learning lessons the long hard way.

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    What's fun is when you keep running into the same girl while shopping and wind up going into a lot of the same stores.

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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfpack View Post
    It's easier said than done especially with girls are really gorgeous but once you kind of have that mentality it's really a numbers game and the more approaches you do sooner or later you're going to strike it up with somebody.
    Exaclty! That's why daygame is so rewarding if you push through first month. I guarantee you will experience some great stuff and get good results!

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    2 Weeks

    I have been approaching women at the Eaton Centre or anywhere in that vicinity for the last 2 weeks. My confidence is getting better and I'm starting to not give a fuck. Anyway if anyone wants to meet up and do some day game please hit me up.

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