Losing interest because of low social value on Facebook

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  1. #1

    Losing interest because of low social value on Facebook

    Dear all,

    I notice that I lose interest of woman when I have to add them (they start talking about it) or they add me. I really try to wait as long as possible before getting friends on fb. Because my fb timeline is not really a DHV, I don't really have a great profile picture. And a couple of weeks ago I updated this with a better one, but still I almost get no likes even from the people I really expected it from don't give me likes, so again I look low value. I know that probably it takes more for people to like something if it has only a couple of likes instead of 40 likes. Because people want to associate themselves with people of higher value. But anyway this fb is really fucking my game up. I don't really know the solution for this, I also don't like adding people because then they will think I don't have any value, so I don't add them at all. This will also result in less friends (most of the time they don't add me also).

    So what should I do? Delete my fb and say I don't have time for it and don't like using it since I don't really see the purpose of it (I mean really with phone numbers and whatsapp, you really don't need fb for anything, other than to brag about your life). I think I lose less value then, but having no fb is also weird for my age group, I am 22 years old.

    Let me know what you guys think, is this really so important for girls? I really can tell it has influence at least on subconscious level, but maybe also on a conscious level.

    Thx for any help!



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
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    My experience is that there are three types of people on Facebook

    People with interesting timeles, who has a life: High value
    People with boring timelines, who has a life: High value
    People with boring timelines, who has no life: Low value.

    Since you need to ask, you are in the last category. I doubt the problem is your facebook profile, the problem is the life you lead. If you did all sorts of interesting stuff and knew all sorts of interesting people, you would either post about it on FB (great) or you would not have time to post about it on FB (great).

    I suggest three steps

    1. Hide your friend list so people don't see that you have less than 300 contacts: https://www.facebook.com/help/commun...=4930249138591

    2. Take a quick glance at your timeline and delete all lame posts, making your FB profile look like the one of a person who just doesn't care much about FB but who updates it 6-12 times a year and mostly has it to stay in touch with people and sign up for events and meetings that are organized mainly on FB. Don't talk about how you are "above facebook" or why you have it. If you do, you might as well scream "My life sucks!" from the rooftops. High value people don't have time to discuss the value of social media, they just use it however they use it, the end.

    3. Work seriously on your life and game and build value rather then contemplating how you can fake value.

  3. #3

    Stop worrying about Facebook. It's not worth it.Just turn it off for a week. Delete it the app from your phone. Delete the bookmark in from your browser, and stop thinking about it. Focus on real life interactions. The ones with real girls.

    Facebook is meaningless.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    39
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    502

    Quote Originally Posted by Andrew Beretta View Post
    Stop worrying about Facebook. It's not worth it.Just turn it off for a week. Delete it the app from your phone. Delete the bookmark in from your browser, and stop thinking about it. Focus on real life interactions. The ones with real girls.

    Facebook is meaningless.
    I don't believe he asked about whether he should use facebook. He asked HOW to use it.

    By all means, offer your opinion about anything, but if you don't actually reply to the actual question, then you're just a troll. It's like the annoying tendency to tell people to call when they ask about textgame. Or start babbling about inner game or telling people to approach more when they ask, well, just about anything. Why not at least answering people's damn questions before telling them what they should rather do. Don't tell people to ride a bike when they ask how to fix their car.

    I don't know where you're from, but where I live, Facebook is almost a must. No one cares if you update the shit, but if you study or take part in pretty much any group activity, then you need facebook, because that's the platform that is used for communicating. No one want's to spend time calling or sending emails to the wack job who denies the modern communication that is common practice.

    If that's the case for you [MENTION=245434]Tanack[/MENTION], that you actually need Facebook, or if you simply just want to be on Facebook, then it makes good sense to put a little effort into it. It doesn't take more than 30 minutes to change a profile that screams "I have no social life" into a neutral profile. It's well worth the time.

  5. #5

    Hi I am from Holland and yes Facebook is almost a must in my country, although the usage of it is descending. People aren't actually posting that much anymore than a couple of years ago. I have actually pretty good looks, dress well, my social skills aren't bad. It's just that in the past I was more a little boy (I am a late bloomer) and didn't build anything up, lost a lot of contacts after higher school. And my first years college, I didn't really put myself out there to be social. I feel like this is still following me now, I meet more new people now. And the thing is I get friend requests from them and I am like doubting whether I should add them, since they might get the wrong impression from me. So I wait a couple of days to show that I am not an active fb'er and then accept. But at the moment I never add other people, since I don't want to show them that I care.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Gender:
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    974

    You seem very pre-occupied with "value" and people's perception of you. In reality, no one gives a damn. It's all in your head. Everyone is way too busy worrying about themselves to worry about you.

    You've already gotten advice about what you can do with your facebook profile. It should be something you've already done by now. It's a lot more interesting to talk about what to do to actually better your situation rather than about how to manipulate everyone's perception of your situation.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Hurley View Post
    I don't believe he asked about whether he should use facebook. He asked HOW to use it.

    By all means, offer your opinion about anything, but if you don't actually reply to the actual question, then you're just a troll. It's like the annoying tendency to tell people to call when they ask about textgame. Or start babbling about inner game or telling people to approach more when they ask, well, just about anything. Why not at least answering people's damn questions before telling them what they should rather do. Don't tell people to ride a bike when they ask how to fix their car.

    I don't know where you're from, but where I live, Facebook is almost a must. No one cares if you update the shit, but if you study or take part in pretty much any group activity, then you need facebook, because that's the platform that is used for communicating. No one want's to spend time calling or sending emails to the wack job who denies the modern communication that is common practice.

    If that's the case for you [MENTION=245434]Tanack[/MENTION], that you actually need Facebook, or if you simply just want to be on Facebook, then it makes good sense to put a little effort into it. It doesn't take more than 30 minutes to change a profile that screams "I have no social life" into a neutral profile. It's well worth the time.
    In my opinion Facebook is not important. I find that most guys look at a little problem and try really hard to fix it. They spend all there time and energy on a minor issue rather than focusing on the big picture. What I was trying to do was steer him back on course.

    When it comes to social circle game you need to spend most of your time and energy with real people. If your circle isn't good enough yet and great thing to do is to make it bigger. Join a regular weekly activity. It can range from being a sport to joining a reading club.

    Facebook is a secondary problem. Foster good relationship with new people. Have your circle grow organically rather then technologically.

    I'll agree that I gave zero advice on how to improve his Facebook. My mistake. A quick fix like mentioned above is to hide your friend count. Next would be to hide all your low value pictures. Last would be to be more socially savvy online.

    For example; Don't like or comment on a thread that is in between two people.

    If a girl tags an other girl in a post the message was meant for her, even if it was posted publicly. It is just weird to reply with a "AWESOME" comment when the post has nothing to do with you.

    An easy way to make your Facebook better is to go around liking pages you're interested in. Like celebrities, comedians, fitness, lifestyle and other professionals. That way your feed gets more personal to you and less about other peoples lives.

    Lastly, sharing peoples post is a good tool. It creates content for you feed and its a good way for people to get a feel for you without saying a word.

    Be careful with what you put online. It's there forever after you hit that post button.

    How has your Facebook been this week [MENTION=245434]Tanack[/MENTION]?

  8. Here are my thoughts.

    Based on what you are saying, it seems to me that you are losing interest specifically because you believe that your Facebook does not reflect good social value for yourself. FB is not fucking your game up though. You are screwing yourself up because you believe women will lose interest after going through your Facebook.

    To be fair, that is true to a small extent.

    The women within your age group WILL use Facebook to decide if you are someone they would be attracted to... assuming they barely know you.

    BUT if you are cool in person, and people definitely already know that, you get a free pass. Whether you update your Facebook or not, it doesn't matter at this point. People just brush it off as you not being a very "techy" person.

    This is exactly how it is with a friend of mine... a genuinely cool guy in person, but doesn't use Facebook. He updates his status once to twice a year. He was slightly more active when he was single, but even then, he rarely posts stuff. With people he just knew when he was single, he added them anyway. His pictures are few, but you can tell people find him likeable from the way they post on his wall, or comment on his stuff.

    Now, consider this other example. My mentor, who is already extremely good with women, updates his Facebook often. He has a rich social life, and people often tag him. He also uploads his own photos. All very selectively-picked, of course. With women he knew from online dating, it helped him a lot, because his wall reflected his likeability, as well as social value.

    So, the way I see it, you don't have to use Facebook to attract women. But you'd be silly not to exploit its effectiveness. It can work extremely well, and will cut short the amount of time you have to spend on "running your game".

    As for your questions, you must understand one thing.

    1) It takes time to build something. If you wish to use Facebook to help you with women, a part of that boils down to consistency. You cannot upload a picture now, and hope that plenty of your friends will like it. Because if you don't use it often, your post update might not even reflect on their walls. So you've gotta be more active if you wish to use it. Start adding people, start posting often. But be extremely selective about the photos and updates you put up. Find out what makes a good photo first. Understand what kinda updates work.

    But more importantly, get a social life going for you. You shouldn't be relying exclusively on your Facebook to help you. It should be a strong complement.

    2) If the above sounds like too much work, disable your Facebook then. There is nothing wrong with not using Facebook. People of your age group may find it somewhat unbelievable, but that doesn't mean you can't be a likeable person just because you don't use it. End of the day, it's still about whether you are likeable as a person or not.

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