Conversations sucks, need some really good advice

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  1. Conversations sucks, need some really good advice

    Hi Daygamers
    I have done around 45 approaches, and i have really much problem with conversations.
    My openings are great but after that it is always a mess , im always scared to run out of things to say, and it always happens.. i stutter with my voice.
    I have seen a course of tom torero conversation king, and used the tactics but it is for me as a introvert really difficult.
    I have 5 questions and statements i always know to use but still.. its hard.
    It's frustrating, to always say have a nice day because after a silence of 6 seconds i just dont know what to say its like my mind freezes..
    I'm not stopping with daygame, because im so bad in conversations.
    I'm willing to train myself in conversations in general maybe toastmasters or something is good for me.
    I record every interaction with women.
    What do you guys can give me for advice..?
    And when did you guys become better in this?

    Im from europe.

    Greetings
    Justin



  2. Hey Justin,

    you might want to check out this video on youtube by keychain about daygame. He talks about finding a "click" topic, something you both enjoy.

    He cycles through a few questions like:
    What are you doing in (your location) today?
    What do you do for fun?
    What do you do for a living?

    I love people who travel. There's and adventurousness and open mindedness about them that I really like. Do you like to travel?

    Things like these could add to your repertoire. What is crucial is that you provide content to the interaction so that there are plenty of opportunities for her to latch on to a topic to continue the conversation. Think about the possible directions a conversation can go when you make your statements, how many possible "hooks" there are for her to grab when she is interested in something.

    If there's nothing coming of it at all then you two might just have nothing in common. And some people simply aren't super interesting to talk to, or are in a bad mood or something. Some things are beyond your control.

    Let me know if this helps!

  3. #3

    These three questions are great.

    What were you up to?
    What do you do for work?
    What do you do for fun?

    The key is to answer your own questions even if she doesn't ask.

    Run through the same conversation pattern until you start to recognize trends. Like you not knowing what to say. Next time you run out of things to say you can tease her about it.

    "Hey, are you going to make me do all the work here? I already came over and said hi."

    The feeling of being uncomfortable is a signal of an opportunity to learn.

    Just telling a girl that you feel nervous is a great thing. Shows how more authentic you are.

  4. Thanks.

  5. Thanks, see what you mean

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Gender:
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Age
    42
    Posts
    572

    This is kind of tied up in inner game. The reason you're "running out things to say" is because you're not confident in saying whatever's in your mind at that moment- you're so concerned with trying to impress the girl that you censor yourself.

    Things get a LOT easier when you understand that you're also trying to learn if a particular girl is a good match for you. You're also trying to have fun. Once you have that understanding, it frees you up to pursue authentic conversations, and also to tease her, and also to describe your life with confidence.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Gender:
    Posts
    480

    45 approaches is nothing. that's 2 days of going out.

    you're too self-critical and too analytical, as some said above. the fact that u count ur approaches, and record all of them, makes that clear.

    just relax. stop counting.

    choose 1 topic you enjoy, as said above. that's your default. anytime u draw a blank, u go to that topic. done.

  8. What are you planning to do today?

    That's one question you could ask.

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