Social Circle = Second Cousin!?

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
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    Social Circle = Second Cousin!?

    Disclaimer: I understand the fact that what I am about to discuss may be frowned upon by the majority of society. If you do not mind, or if you are willing to try to understand my point of view, please continue reading. If not, I would greatly appreciate a non-harrassing reply and a simple explanation as to why I shouldn't do certain things.

    Background: My deceased grandpa (he passed away 40 years before I was born) had a few sisters. Therefore, my "grand-aunt" grew her own family--a family which I had never heard of until a month ago.

    You can probably guess where I am going from here. Recently she passed away, which striked a fire (so-to-speak) between my family and her family. Although it wasn't much of a fire, I recently went to her-side of the family's party/gathering. I was pretty much a complete stranger there besides a few aunts I met beforehand (whom I also met only recently, which is a month or two). And then I met my second cousins.

    Thankfully, not all of them were super close-knit and I wasn't completely alone being a stranger, but I'd be lying if I said they didn't know each other. But anyway...

    Literally the first "second cousin" that I met as soon as I entered the house gave me this beautiful smile and started talking to me. I don't know about you guys, and if you met someone for the first time in your whole life, but I didn't think of any of them as family especially this one girl.

    Do you guys know that feeling where your heart just god damn sinks to the ground? And your jaw is metaphorically dropped to the floor? Pretty much what happened to me that night.

    Situation: That first meeting aside, I had a few laughs with her and she kept looking at me that night, BUT of course I didn't really do anything and spent my time with the guy cousins instead.

    We didn't talk much near the end of the night before I bounced.

    Her sister and I ended up talking on facebook and texting but I was merely being friendly with her as a "cousin."

    Recently added the girl in discussion on facebook.

    Relevant Info:

    We are in the 18-22 age group.

    Our family is Vietnamese.

    I know she likes to date hispanics and caucasians--I do not know if she is willing to date Asians like myself.

    She likes to rave (I also like to do so).

    I clearly do not care for our "second-cousin" relationship.

    I do not know if she cares for it. I am willing to assume she does not (to an extent) and initiate PUA techniques from there.

    Conclusion: Knowing all of this, can you brothers please help me out with:

    1. First, contact: How do I first message her on facebook to get conversation started?

    2. Second, how do I, through messaging/texting, get close to her without being too "family-ish" but at the same time not too much straight-up hitting on her?

    In fact, is that a smart move? Should I straight-up hit on her? Let me know.

    3. Third, assuming the "getting close" stage is clear, how do I initiate a hangout? Is being alone wise? Is it wise to bring non-mutual friends along? Or is it wise to bring other "second cousins" along?

    With that said, I understand there are many fish in the sea and there are so many girls to choose from. But in my defense, I am not exactly putting 100% of my time into getting this one girl. I simply want to see if anything can happen with this girl; she's too attractive to not do something about. Do you know what I mean??

    Thank you for any answers. Cheers!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
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    understand there are many fish in the sea and there are so many girls to choose from. I am not exactly putting 100% of my time into getting this one girl
    Personally, I don't think that you do. I don't think that there's anything really wrong with second cousins, I just see it as a completely and totally unnecessary headache. Here you are, trying to figure out the best way how to approach and initiate contact, and then you say that you're not putting "100% of your time" into it. Are you putting in 99%?

    I just don't see the point. Plenty of other girls to approach. Not to mention, all this girl has done with you is smile? Please pursue other women OP, maybe for 3-6 months, then see if you think it's still a good idea.

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