Learning from mistakes


I just return from a party within my social circle.

Ahead: I don't care too much ... but I would like to learn at least from the actions I take. And I am scrubbing my head what I have done wrong or may do better next time.

Scenario: I know the host, one girl with who I came (but I'm surely friendzoned) as well as some people remotely.

After hanging around with this girl a bit (and other people) to get comfortable I tried to jump in every group, being funny and relaxed. Tried hard to remember names. I think it was OK, at least I have heard many times "Oh wow, where do you know him/her from?" (also from the girl below).

Anyway, at some point I stumbled across a girl who I really liked. Made silly jokes and think she also liked me: She touched me, loughed at my teasings/jokes, her body language pointed towards me etc. And I do not think there was a good time (yet) to ask her for her number. There should be something like "Hey really? We should go there" or similar.

After chatting some time with her (and her friends) she left saying "I'll go and get cookies, [friend name #1] do you wanna one, [myname] do you wanna too, [othernames] you too?".

Sure enough she didn't come back and I spent with her (equally hot) friends. At some point I suggested looking for our cookies and once there I teased her we're starving. I think it was still OK but from then on it seemed to go downwards. The one thing I could possibly imagine was a trivial comment where I mixed up "glowing" vs "sparkling" (not being a native speaker!) where she reacted upset and visibly turned to the other side. While I - with definitely in the right mood - joked about myself not knowing the difference, being not a native speaker etc.

Anyway, also another guy popped up (IMHO neiher nice nore attractive) and they started enjoying conversation.
Since my female friend (where I'm friendzoned - and other people) were around there and she (and her friend) was talking about leaving I didn't feel like it was a good time for asking her number and eventually asked for FB ... which (since we were not alone) the whole group shared their contacts.

At some point the discussion with her and this other guy was so involved ... that I turned to another group. I think this isn't too bad because hanging out with the same people all the time looks needy anyway.

However, they (including her friend) seemed to hang out for some time and when I got back after some time (which was before they finally left) I could just hear "Yeah cool, then cya tomorrow at 8".

So long story short ... I'd say no worries etc. but this time I'm really not sure what I've done wrong and I'd at least take some learnings from it.

Clearly my story is rough and prone to some trivial answers (like "why didn't you ask for her number earlier, why didn't you escalte earlier etc). But even these are heavily dependent on situation (and I started touch early on) and in that one I just didn't see a fundamental mistake.

All the usual things I could imagine were right I think: Solid eye contact, solid body language, talking to everyone (and eventually knowing everyone by his name), kidding around, being relaxed, early touching etc.

Is there a fundamental learning I could draw?