There's me, my friend, my ex and her. Reputation working against me? Long Post

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  1. #1
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    There's me, my friend, my ex and her. Reputation working against me? Long Post

    Okay, ill keep this as short as possible. Around 2 years ago, I was involved with this girl G. G was a very toxic relationship, I was still pretty much an AFC then, trying to understand women and stuff. H was G's friend. So basically, there was one time that G really hurt me by doing some stupid shit she always does and I actually called H to talk about it (till the extend i almost cry ) and she was there for me in a way. So anyway, I got into another relationship thereafter and didn't talk much to H & G thereafter.

    Until one night recently, we met up (H,G and I) and I told them I was going on a vaccation with my guy friends and I asked them if they wanted to go. They went and we partied together during the evenings. As we partied, I felt that I really started to like H and I tried to escalate the best I can (even with all my friends watching and stuff). I flirted with her like crazy and there were a few pecks from me and with the all the alcohol, she started licking my neck for a bit. So I actually pulled her to one corner and teased her even more by asking why is she so afraid to kiss me...and she replied cause we are friends and she's really shy (in a half-intoxicated manner) . H is a very very very shy girl, she likes her rep a lot and doesnt want to be seen doing stuff w me. I must admit I dont have the best reputation because she sees me as a player and in fact the first night I even bagged a girl home and I told H about it (Was that a good move? I feel so stupid)

    So apparently as my other guy friends are there, there this guy N. N is a very quiet and shy guy, who doesnt really have game but is very very nice. Apparently H told G that, if anybody that she'll ever consider dating among my group of friends, it'll be N. In fact, N likes her too. So after the vaccation, they exchanged contact and stuff yada yada and they started talking. Credit to H and N, they didnt do it behind my back, they just told me openly and stuff.

    So yesterday, H and I were texting and she suddenly asked me out for dinner. This was very rare of her and she is really the most passive and shy girl i ever known. Halfway through though, she asked if we should call someone along. I said fine, go ahead. But I kept flirting with her and teasing her that this is our first date. and she's like nononono its not a date.

    So anyway, I had the most amazing time with her. I made her laugh, flirted with her etcetc. Then she asked me do I mind if she texts N and stuff, I am like no i dont mind. I said you really do like him? and she said, she doesn't but N looks like the type of guy that she'll date unlike me.

    Then she proceeded to ask me, "if we were ever in a relationship, wouldnt it be weird for you considering how you and G were involved before?"

    I said "G doesn't concern me and neither does anything else but I can see why it could be weird for you."

    Then she said something that really hurts. "You see, with you, everything is a game. When I say no, you think I'm playing hard to get where in fact, its just a plain no." So we continued having a lot of fun throughout the night UNTIL....

    She got slightly tipsy and as she lost a closed one recently, she started bawling and telling me stuffs that she hardly told anyone! Like how she's fighting depression alone etcetc. and why she isn't close to her brothers like how its difficult to feel anything for anyone. I always told her that I like her cause she's very mysterious and hard to get where in fact she said its because, she doesnt know how to even react socially anymore. SO BASICALLY SHE SHOWED ME HER ULTIMATE WEAKNESS.

    So, I felt that I have to leave my PUA ways there and then and at least be a decent human being so I told her a bit about my struggles during my adolescence too. And I said this is what I like about you, like how you quietly battle your demons etcetc. I held her hand and refused to let go (even though she repeatedly asked me to) and at last she relented.

    Yeah, so basically that's how our date went like.

    Question is, do you think i have a chance with her? I really like her but she doesnt take me seriously. Everytime i compliment her, she doesnt quite believe it? I told her its her esteem issue but she says I do it too often and I seem like a player.

    How do I right this? It's definitely not one-itis, i still have options but I really do like her. Will dating other girls and building up value help? Or will it just push her away further?



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    You got her so up a pedestal, and trying so hard to win her over, when you could have fked her right there and then. She was shht testing you; seeing if she can be sexual with you but realised; you just pretend player.

    In other words, she tested to see your REAL frame and you buckled mate and started acting like a right average frustrated white knight. She was screaming for you to fk her, but no.

    Worse, you think because she spilled her guts that this is awesome.

    No mate. When a girl starts talking like that, I do not role me into some friend bs or potential boyfriend, but change the conversation. Im not her friend, I'm a lover and she can go and tell those stories to her friends and nice guy N.

    She ddint give a fk about N;

    That was her playing a game and then tries to tell you, your playing one. All play game but you needed to have a very strong game to escalate and take her and fk her.

    But you put her PUSSY higher than your game, higher than you and buckled.

    Then you going to rationalise and tell me BS that she needed a friend. No, you wanted to impress her, be nice, worried you'd look like a jerk, a......player.

    She played you mate.

    Now snap out of this shit and never lose your game. This isnt PUA. Dont insult my intelligen. This is life; this is how woman are and you dont push your tactics to side because "PUA."

    FK PUA!

    This is about being a man. You need to have strong game and not let it go; and rationalise because you needed to be someone else.

    I am not a PUA because I learn it.

    I am a man and PUA is just skills to help me be efficient with women and life. I dont just drop it for some logic that she now needed a friend. Like i dont even believe in who I am and what I am doing.

    I am not a PUA

    It is a mindset, skills and does not define you.

    You define you.

    You wanted her. You wanted to fk her. You then keep going and not let your guard down when some sob story kicks in. This is but to test YOUR frame and see who you REALLY are and if you congruent to who you are.

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    Way too much drama, like rockycruz said, you failed hard. Never should a girl lay that much drama on you, and it sounds like you think it's a good sign, this my friend.. is how you become friendzoned. This isn't the way to anything sexual or relationship like, but stone cold friendzone. She was testing you, you didn't notice, which ended in a sob story about her life. And now you are the guy who understands her, and she can talk to.

    Also the part about leaving the PUA ways aside, as far as I know there is nothing wrong with helping a girl with some sort of problem she has, but don't let it escalate to a sob story that goes on the whole night. Deal with it and move on to having a nice and fun date.
    Be the leader of the conversation, she can talk, but you decide what you guys talk about.

    "if we were ever in a relationship, wouldnt it be weird for you considering how you and G were involved before?"
    This is here is where you responded okay, but you should have stayed on this. This is her literally screaming she is interested.
    Ideally here was the time you amped up the kino, eye contact and I would even go in for the KC.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rockycruz View Post
    You got her so up a pedestal, and trying so hard to win her over, when you could have fked her right there and then. She was shht testing you; seeing if she can be sexual with you but realised; you just pretend player.

    In other words, she tested to see your REAL frame and you buckled mate and started acting like a right average frustrated white knight. She was screaming for you to fk her, but no.

    Worse, you think because she spilled her guts that this is awesome.

    No mate. When a girl starts talking like that, I do not role me into some friend bs or potential boyfriend, but change the conversation. Im not her friend, I'm a lover and she can go and tell those stories to her friends and nice guy N.

    She ddint give a fk about N;

    That was her playing a game and then tries to tell you, your playing one. All play game but you needed to have a very strong game to escalate and take her and fk her.

    But you put her PUSSY higher than your game, higher than you and buckled.

    Then you going to rationalise and tell me BS that she needed a friend. No, you wanted to impress her, be nice, worried you'd look like a jerk, a......player.

    She played you mate.

    Now snap out of this shit and never lose your game. This isnt PUA. Dont insult my intelligen. This is life; this is how woman are and you dont push your tactics to side because "PUA."

    FK PUA!

    This is about being a man. You need to have strong game and not let it go; and rationalise because you needed to be someone else.

    I am not a PUA because I learn it.

    I am a man and PUA is just skills to help me be efficient with women and life. I dont just drop it for some logic that she now needed a friend. Like i dont even believe in who I am and what I am doing.

    I am not a PUA

    It is a mindset, skills and does not define you.

    You define you.

    You wanted her. You wanted to fk her. You then keep going and not let your guard down when some sob story kicks in. This is but to test YOUR frame and see who you REALLY are and if you congruent to who you are.
    Okay, maybe i did not explain myself clearer. I do not agree that I don't have a strong frame. But she was just my friend sometime ago and I event went to her dad's funeral. We all thought that her dad died of cancer. But at that night she actually admitted that her dad killed himself. Something that absolutely made my jaw drop. Sure, I'd like to fuck her. But don't you think that the absolute humane thing is to at least let her finish her sob story?

    Even as we exited the bar, I said "Hey come here now, give me your hand." which to she replied "No." then i said " Come on now. Let me hold you to the car" then she said "Dont force me k. Ill just hold your arm." and when we were driving home I was holding the hand through out the drive. I was still flirting w her in the car when she told me seriously that not to tell anyone about her dad committing suicide, I replied "How bout a kiss and ill think about it?"

    I think I did not act needy or white knightish at all? I tried to liven up the mood by throwing up some jokes/humour. But before that I actually told her about my childhood insecurities (to emphatise) , you're right maybe i shouldn't have done that.

    But to take advantage by just going in for the kiss right after she admitting that her dad committed suicide instead of cancer, i think it isn't the right thing to do? I mean she's at her moment of weakness man and she was my friend once.

    With all that said, based on your pov, is this situation still salvageable? Or am i fucked. I must admit i think i've put her on the pedestal too much. But in nowhere did i show im needy, because she does see me as a very un-serious kind of guy and she knows im going out w several other girls. Im just worried this might work against me u see.

    Your thoughts would be nice. Thank you for the reply

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    Quote Originally Posted by lovelydovey View Post
    I do not agree that I don't have a strong frame.
    You contradict yourself. Look below....

    I must admit i think i've put her on the pedestal too much.
    You know something mate. Until a person admits to themselves the problem, you'll be fighting with me on this. She put you THROUGH THE RINGER mate.

    In one of my reports I am uploading when I get back from Geneva; I got a girl I met. She told me her mum died in a car accident a week ago, and other stuff. I change the conversation with as simple as...

    "oh look! An ice cream van! Havent seen these for years in england"

    And took her hand and ran and she started to laugh and got both an icecream. The conversation about her mum didnt arise. You know when it did? Heres when....

    The same nightmate, the same....we were kissing on a yatch (not mine, part of record label stuff I can use) and then we went to her hotel room and FUCKED. I didnt feel guilty because the next night she called and we fked again.

    On the second night after we banged quiet few times, AND...

    She never brought it up again.

    SHE DID with.....the guy friend who has been her friend for sometime and he wanted to fk her but here is me. I come from another country for a holiday; and lo and behold I cut her off about her mum crash story, escalate and fk her

    I had to be humble and admit, "no, my frame is SHIT and need to fit it. My inner and outergame needs work."

    Anytime, a girl shares any negativity....I learnt from instructors here and the magic bullet to change the conversation FAST and not let her lead it to that place because we know what happens...

    Well, you know because it happened to you.

    Is it salvageable?

    Well, anything is but then again, with all the girls you got lined up.....why bother.

    Next time; dont let her lead you and fit you in some role. Any story negative, change it fast and not be guilty in doing so.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rockycruz View Post
    You contradict yourself. Look below....



    You know something mate. Until a person admits to themselves the problem, you'll be fighting with me on this. She put you THROUGH THE RINGER mate.

    In one of my reports I am uploading when I get back from Geneva; I got a girl I met. She told me her mum died in a car accident a week ago, and other stuff. I change the conversation with as simple as...

    "oh look! An ice cream van! Havent seen these for years in england"

    And took her hand and ran and she started to laugh and got both an icecream. The conversation about her mum didnt arise. You know when it did? Heres when....

    The same nightmate, the same....we were kissing on a yatch (not mine, part of record label stuff I can use) and then we went to her hotel room and FUCKED. I didnt feel guilty because the next night she called and we fked again.

    On the second night after we banged quiet few times, AND...

    She never brought it up again.

    SHE DID with.....the guy friend who has been her friend for sometime and he wanted to fk her but here is me. I come from another country for a holiday; and lo and behold I cut her off about her mum crash story, escalate and fk her

    I had to be humble and admit, "no, my frame is SHIT and need to fit it. My inner and outergame needs work."

    Anytime, a girl shares any negativity....I learnt from instructors here and the magic bullet to change the conversation FAST and not let her lead it to that place because we know what happens...

    Well, you know because it happened to you.

    Is it salvageable?

    Well, anything is but then again, with all the girls you got lined up.....why bother.

    Next time; dont let her lead you and fit you in some role. Any story negative, change it fast and not be guilty in doing so.
    Now that you've put it this way, I've got it. She's been openly seeing other guys (and letting me know it) as well so I guessed I got played... but lesson learnt!

    Thanks for the insight man.

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