I feel like im being tested...but....

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  1. #1
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    I feel like im being tested...but....

    Hi guys, first time poster here. I'll try and keep this short.

    So basically this girl and I have been dating for 1 month. Everything went well, dates lasted hours, she even invited me out to meet her once. We sent texts to each other more and more as we dated. Note that I kept it at a 1:1 ratio, mirror mirror, etc.

    Anyway, I asked her out on a 3rd/4th date via text, but she was going out of town for the weekend. I said something along "well how about XXX day then", she said she didn't know her times yet, then instantly followed it up with "lets just see and we can play around with the timing".

    I pulled back at this point. For about a week after, texts were reduced. She sent me 2-3 texts during the entire week, and when I responded, she answered. (she sent the texts out).

    This is the first time since we started dating there has been a lull in conversations.

    Still, around the end of the week I decided to strike up the flame, and just sent a random text being goofy about what I was doing, etc. I sent one more text the following day, asking her how she was.

    At this point, she answered. I got several messages about her week, then 2 hours later she sent me some more texts.

    So I sent a reply later on, again, just being goofy and BSing with her. However, its now been three days, and ive not heard a reply. This is highly unusual, as she has never shut me down like this.

    Am I being tested? To see if ill respond to her ignoring me? I dont "think" she suddenly lost interest...but still. Why test me now? OR is she just doing what I did and mirroring me pulling back before...need help understanding this. What should I do here?



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    How much intimacy has there been so far?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tank View Post
    How much intimacy has there been so far?
    She hugged me after the first date (she went in for it). Also a lot of touching, bumping, etc. We also were basically cuddled up on the third date, have not kissed her yet though.

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    Ok, you are not being tested. Things are simply just fizzling out since you're not making any real advances. What you describe is something you could do with any female friend, you're just hanging out. After three dates without as much as a peck on the lips she either feels that you're not really attracted to her, or not man enough to make it happen. In both cases she's going to pull back.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tank View Post
    Ok, you are not being tested. Things are simply just fizzling out since you're not making any real advances. What you describe is something you could do with any female friend, you're just hanging out. After three dates without as much as a peck on the lips she either feels that you're not really attracted to her, or not man enough to make it happen. In both cases she's going to pull back.
    Alright, I understand. However it seems I spoke incorrectly. I should of said 2nd date. I'm trying to get a third. As I mentioned though, I did not kiss her yet. I had planned to make that move on date three, as we had gone from hugs to cuddles. Is there any way I can salvage this? Assuming I get date three.

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    At least go for it on the first date. You have to show them that your interested, attracted and not affraid to go after what you want

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    I agree, you should always be getting to the point where you feel comfortable going for the kiss at a minimum on the first date. If they say no or turn cheek that is their choice but at least they know your intentions.

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    Yeah, 3rd date is way too long for only a kiss. To put things into perspective, if a girl won't have sex with me by the 3rd date then she's probably someone who isn't sexually compatible with me anyways, so I move on to another girl.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FunFacts View Post
    I had planned to make that move on date three, as we had gone from hugs to cuddles. Is there any way I can salvage this? Assuming I get date three.
    This forum is about getting better with women in general rather than what to with a particular girl. Generally, you should not think of the first kiss as a "move to make" but more like a natural step on an escalation ladder from the very first friendly touch to full out sex. If you're not used to doing this, there's an art to learning it. But it's very doable.

    Next time you're on a date, make sure to touch the girl instantly. Since she agreed to go on a date with you, there is some level of attraction, and it's perfectly safe to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. It is a date after all, right. Then during the date, ramp up the touching. If you end a first date, without at least a quick kiss her on the mouth, then you're not doing it right.

    From what you write it's evident that you have a lot to learn and I hope you'll browse through the many articles and threads in here. I've dug out a few, in no particular order.

    Love Systems Triad <-- The most important

    Dating Girls - First Date?
    Date Ideas - Impress Her for Free
    First Date to Getting the Girl - A Guide To Dating
    Dates, Value, Cooking at Home, and Why Congruence Matters, Part 2
    First Date to Getting the Girl - A Guide to Dating (Part 2)

    There's also a comprehensive, paid product, and trust me when I say it's worth the money, it's bad ass: Date! The Home Study Course

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    Alright everyone, thanks for the information! Seems I messed up, whoops.

    I'll be sure to look through the articles you linked, @Tank.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FunFacts View Post
    Alright everyone, thanks for the information! Seems I messed up, whoops.
    Don't worry about it, you did 100% of what you could with the knowledge, skills and information you had available at the time.

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    The children of Israel cannot move forward or else they will drown in the Red Sea. They cannot go backwards or else they wall fall back into slavery with the Egyptians, as the Egyptians are now starting to come back after them. They have no other choice but to just sit and wait for God to move to part the Red Sea.

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