Gym Openers - gym etiquette

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    Gym Openers - gym etiquette

    I have come to find out that there is not a whole lot of material when it comes to day gaming women at the gym. I read the article on Lovesystems about asking innocuous things but subsequently got blown out (she avoids me at all costs).

    What does one say to women at the gym?

    Going direct and keeping it short and sweet?



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    Re: Gym Openers - gym etiquette

    Gym is great. Usually better to be indirect in my experience, girls very wary of being hit on at the gym and you don't want to annoy someone when they are trying to focus on working out. Start conversation about lifting weights or something fitness related and then just go from there. If you trying to get girls like this then it helps to be very into fitness yourself and knowledgeable about weightlifting and exercise. Then you can have genuine conversation threads and build similarities with them. Also if you feel like you couldn't get good enough connection going don't sweat it (no pun intented) you don't always have to go for number right away because you may see them often if they are regular and you train at the same time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jets27 View Post
    Gym is great. Usually better to be indirect in my experience, girls very wary of being hit on at the gym and you don't want to annoy someone when they are trying to focus on working out. Start conversation about lifting weights or something fitness related and then just go from there. If you trying to get girls like this then it helps to be very into fitness yourself and knowledgeable about weightlifting and exercise. Then you can have genuine conversation threads and build similarities with them. Also if you feel like you couldn't get good enough connection going don't sweat it (no pun intented) you don't always have to go for number right away because you may see them often if they are regular and you train at the same time.
    I have one experience that has left me, clueless, essentially. I was on an elliptical next to a girl and I asked the most innocuous question. "Is that a heart rate monitor?" She responded favorably and we chit chat for about 2-3 min about the heart rate monitor and what she has on her Ipod.

    This girl pretty much goes out of her way to not even get close to me. I saw her a few days latter and got on to a treadmill next to her; as soon as I stepped on, she stepped off. Goes the long way to exit the gym and won't get near me. Next, yes that is what I am saying. But I am unsure how to open at the gym.

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    Maybe she thinks you are cute, but she has a man or is into women. She could be avoiding the inevitable invitation/pass she figures you will make.

    Did you turn it overly sexual? Did you throw a racist or handicap joke out there?

    If nothing comes to mind then Don't sweat it. Idle chit chat is not a crime, and it's other people's problem if they can't handle that.

    Sent from my HTC One using Tapatalk

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    Quote Originally Posted by Love Monkey View Post
    Maybe she thinks you are cute, but she has a man or is into women. She could be avoiding the inevitable invitation/pass she figures you will make.

    Did you turn it overly sexual? Did you throw a racist or handicap joke out there?

    If nothing comes to mind then Don't sweat it. Idle chit chat is not a crime, and it's other people's problem if they can't handle that.

    Sent from my HTC One using Tapatalk
    No, just normal friendly get-to-know-ya chit chat that ended with a "have a good workout".

    The one thing I really want to know is if it is a mistake to go direct in the approach. Telling her she is cute (Soul's line), keeping it 2-3 min and going for number with a cup of coffee. Good idea? Bad idea? Will she have her guard up against any guy in the guy more so then at the mall for example?

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    I've had a few experiences with girls at the gym some ok some not so great.

    I find classes good for me as I don't have to think, just to do what I'm told and you can scan the class for hotties. Then after the class you can just talk to her about how it, as you have a common experience. You can say things like "well that wasn't was I expected, is it always like that?, "That was tough, how was it for you?" or "You seemed to be powering through that class" .... Then you can just follow with some banter or like the other guy said, talk about fitness stuff.

    I don't know if this is good or bad etiquette and for me it seems to work as a good opener but like all openers, they don't work 100% of the time.

    I got talking to one the last week after a class, she was pretty hot and crossed eyes a few time times so i spoke to her after the class for a few minutes she said that i should try the dance class and I said i may see you next week. A week later i saw her again and again i spoke to her after the class, there was a bit of rapport, she told me she teaches French, from France and is a dancer/actress but i was starving and I said "You're pretty cool and I'd like to know more about you but I'm hungry and need to eat, would you like to join me?" which i thought was a solid line but she proceeded to say "I don't really eat after a workout, I feel like it undoes all the hard work" and i thought fuck it, I'm hungry so I said "Maybe a drink next time".

    I think as long as you smile, don't stink of day old sweaty damp gymbag and over do it then you should be ok, plus I wouldn't approach a girl if she has her headphones on or they're mid exercise.

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    as my game get better, i can recover from anything, so in general i don't use any preset opener.

    JLIN "Hello"
    [keep eye contact]
    JLIN "You come here often huh?"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jets27 View Post
    you don't want to annoy someone when they are trying to focus on working out.
    That's right, it's better to find the right timing

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    One of my ex's who's stunning, gorgeous mixed race lingerie model suggested I should try meeting new girls in the gym. She said guys always ask her out there, they wait outside for her and even queue up lol to try and speak to her. She said she didn't mind it too much. But she also said the best time where she was most receptive was in the Jacuzzi (as then she's not feeling sweaty - so she actually doesn't like meeting people when she's sweaty but when she's done and more relaxed she's more receptive - although she is high maintenance constantly craves attention or admiration but that's another story. but the thread was like this:

    Me: Silly question have u got any fit mates?

    Her: Hmmm no one ever seems to think my friends are fit! (she hangs with uglier girls so she's even more stunning lol)

    Me: Dunno just don't meet girls I like

    Her: Not even in the gym? I meet loadsa guys in the gym!


    Me: I've never approached girls in gym

    Her: I get it all the time, hate it when I'm sweaty but don't mind it so much in the jacuzzi! Sometimes they follow me outside & ask me out then, you could start stalking women in the gym lol


    Its probably you lot already lol

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    Tell her your gay but not to tell anyone. shhhhhh

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lin J View Post
    That's right, it's better to find the right timing
    Had the perfect opportunity with the stunner at the gym and I nailed it. She was doing some crazy leg workouts and I used that as a situational opener. To my surprise, she smiled and was very receptive. Turns out she competes in those athletic bathing suit competitions or something.

    But I kept the interaction brief and did not go for the number, she was stretching at the time; planting the seed as they say. Good move or bad?

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    Quote Originally Posted by KenAffleck View Post
    Had the perfect opportunity with the stunner at the gym and I nailed it. She was doing some crazy leg workouts and I used that as a situational opener. To my surprise, she smiled and was very receptive. Turns out she competes in those athletic bathing suit competitions or something.

    But I kept the interaction brief and did not go for the number, she was stretching at the time; planting the seed as they say. Good move or bad?
    It depend on if it's a gym's social circle thing. Cuz some girl does go there at regular basis and in that case you have leeway, you don't have to get number that day. Else if you are not sure, than you should get number, if timing is not right, then wait until she finish the workout and go after her and get the number. You should always ping for "What are you doing after?" to see if it's a possibility of a SDL.

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    If it's the 1 gym you always go to and not say a 24 hour gym, which let you attend all the gyms they have in your city with a swipe card,
    I'm not comfortable approaching in a gym, unless a girl gave strong signals she wanted to chat.

    It has nothing to do with approach anxiety, but the fact that if I approach a girl inside or outside the gym and get turned down, I don't want to
    have to deal with the awkwardness of seeing her again in the gym, if she attends it regularly.

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    In a gym go for social circle, befriend the front door dudes and trainers and let social momentum carry the hot girl into your arms (if she's in the gym's social circle)
    If she's just a rando who works out by herself, ask her if she knows where the water fountain is. Then ask her out for a drink (at the water fountain), first round's on me of course. Gets a laugh.

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    Great thread and thanks for all the opinions. Plenty to think about.

    As a follow on, many of these women are going to the shops straight from their workouts and looking good as hell and flirty as fuck. What about day game openers when meeting a woman who is dressed in fitness gear? Direct with good pivots to what she is doing her workouts for/hobbies and interest? What is a good way to compliment her demeanor as opposed to her garmentry?

    And thanks.

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    Duplicate post by mistake.
    Last edited by QuietStorm81; 07-14-2014 at 05:28 PM. Reason: Duplicated by mistake

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    I was just told by a really hot girl I have gone out with twice now, that she "absolutely hates" when guys try to talk to hear at the gym. She went on to explain that she does not want to make friends there, just wants to go and workout and leave.

    Is this common? Do the hot women wearing the skimpy clothes really dislike it when anyone talks to them at the gym? WWID - What would an instructor do

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    Gym Openers - gym etiquette

    I've heard that before and I typically won't approach in a gym. But I've had great results approaching as girls and I enter or exit the gym.

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    Quote Originally Posted by KenAffleck View Post
    I was just told by a really hot girl I have gone out with twice now, that she "absolutely hates" when guys try to talk to hear at the gym. She went on to explain that she does not want to make friends there, just wants to go and workout and leave.
    Be careful about those well-meaning female dating advice. Women always hate getting approached by chumps, but just like anywhere else, women enjoy the attention of attractive, socially competent guys.

    At the gym women are there for a reason and she may feel more self-conscious while sweating in her tight gym outfit. I would not go direct unless it was the last resort. The girl is probably there for a while, treat it a bit like hired gun game. Go functional, situational or humorous and gauge her. If she's open to talk, just do your thing, it's easy to relate with and qualify her on taking care of herself, or having ambitions thereof. If she's not open to talk, run slow game on her until she opens up or takes a break.

    Quote Originally Posted by KenAffleck View Post
    Is this common? Do the hot women wearing the skimpy clothes really dislike it when anyone talks to them at the gym? WWID - What would an instructor do
    This is where the social calibration comes in. Is she wearing skimpy clothes for the same reason as she's wearing a miniskirt a Friday evening at the club?

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    Quote Originally Posted by KenAffleck View Post
    I was just told by a really hot girl I have gone out with twice now, that she "absolutely hates" when guys try to talk to hear at the gym. She went on to explain that she does not want to make friends there, just wants to go and workout and leave.

    Is this common? Do the hot women wearing the skimpy clothes really dislike it when anyone talks to them at the gym? WWID - What would an instructor do
    It's doesn't really matter what a girl thinks. It matters what she does, so just approach anyways. You should see approaching women as an open door rather than something handed to you. As long as you see an opening, just keep going as long as you enjoy the interaction and of course don't do anything stupid.

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    Quote Originally Posted by StrategicPUA View Post
    It's doesn't really matter what a girl thinks. It matters what she does, so just approach anyways. You should see approaching women as an open door rather than something handed to you. As long as you see an opening, just keep going as long as you enjoy the interaction and of course don't do anything stupid.
    I am still at a loss as to what to say that is situational. A girl goes from the treadmill to lifting dumbells and she has her Ipod in. Paul Janka says to interrupt that girl no matter what. What are some situational things to say when she is dressed skimpy and lifting?

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    I never approach in the gym because when I go to the gym I tear shit up. I mostly do street approaches, college game, stores and malls kinda like Paul Janka.

    Basing on my own experience, its best to have "your zone" in an area sort of like a prop and Paul Janka did touch upon that as well where you feel the most comfortable in a particular area and when a girl goes within that area, she's basically within your territory thus you can deliver your approach with confidence. You're aim as you improve is to widen your territory (aka area of approaching with confidence)

    What I see some people do which is quite effective at the gym and someone has done this on me (a dude) is they implicitly declare themselves the expert at something. So what this guy was doing was he was like really good at doing deadlifts, so whenever someone (like me) goes in the area where people do deadlifts, he feels an urge to give them deadlift tips. I've seen him do this with some girls and I was like this dude's got shit goin. He didn't know how to escalate so it just stopped at giving tips but he's got the right idea. But anyways I didn't really talk to him cuz I was in the zone, and he doesn't have a vagina so my interest in him was limited.

    So basically my tip to you for approaching at the gym would be to establish a territory where you feel like you are the expert in whether it's the squat area, etc. and just natural feel the need to give people tips (within seeming obnoxious) when they enter that area. As for ipods, just catch their eye and theyll get the clue. If they don't notice you no worries, they are very annoying even on campus like seriously everyone has freaking headphone on.

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    I prefer not to approach an attractive woman in a gym, for a few reasons, but if I see her leaving, then I'd do it outside if I had to, not inside.

    One reason is because I'm with a 24 hour one and these are usually smaller sized gyms, where if you go after 9 pm, it's mostly only guys who go. If I go from 5-7 pm, it's way too busy and you wouldn't
    be able to exercise much anyway.

    Another reason, is because if I approach while a girl is in the gym and she rejects me, I'd have to deal with the awkwardness of her or I still being around and/or seeing her again in the gym, on another
    occasion.

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    situational in the gym is easy....Whats that excersize working? That target your booty, im tryna grow mine too? You like it? .....See them doing multiple body parts...."whats your split, you working chest and back on the same day, thats a big load?....Idk im in the gym alot so I notice a lot of shit, most girls have been really warm to my approaches there, but like i said im there all the time and kno alot of people

    I would never give adive to girls lifting, ask them for advice, even if your jacked it makes them feel good, its douchey to give advice, while the girls love it and feel validated when you ask them for advice.

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