How do you tell a girl you only want sex, not a relationship?

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  1. #1

    How do you tell a girl you only want sex, not a relationship?

    Hey guys,

    Met a girl the other day. Social proof (I'm in a band, she was watching and thought I was attractive) + booze got me a phone number and a kiss close. We've been texting all day and I've been keeping it flirtatious and borderline-sexual.

    We've set up a d2 for tomorrow. Thing is, she's not the kind of girl I'm looking for.... I'd just like to tick the "rock chick" box. I want to be upfront with her about this and not lead her on into thinking I'm looking for a relationship.

    How would you communicate this to a girl without sounding like a sex-pig? What moment would you pick? How would you say it?

    Thanks fellas!
    Norwood



  2. #2

    What your looking for is either a Fuck-buddy or a friend with benefits. In your case stick to friends with benefits since you dont mind goin on dates with her. the best way to get sex from girls with out going into a relationship is to make her feel comfortable with you. Once thats been established keep her interested by talking to her sexually but not in a perv type of way tho. Avoid going on too many dates tho cuz she might get the wrong idea and think you might want start to dating.

  3. HAve Sex first

    Great job building social proof with your lifestyle. You should have a pretty large funnel of girls like this that want to get with you. I would recommend NOT defining any sort of relationship before you've had sex. It is not necessary and will likely come off as needy. Even after sex, it's better if the girl brings it up, rather than you. Have the frame of "I'm just a cool guy that girls naturally want to turn into their boyfriend, but I'm picky."

  4. Quote Originally Posted by Goodz View Post
    What your looking for is either a Fuck-buddy or a friend with benefits. In your case stick to friends with benefits since you dont mind goin on dates with her. the best way to get sex from girls with out going into a relationship is to make her feel comfortable with you. Once thats been established keep her interested by talking to her sexually but not in a perv type of way tho. Avoid going on too many dates tho cuz she might get the wrong idea and think you might want start to dating.
    Good response.

    I got lmr recently. It sucks. If i had to do over, I would have just took my clothes off. My advances came up short. When I got girls to agree to sex, no strings, they get mad expecting more. It's very annoying.

  5. #5

    "When I got girls to agree to sex, no strings, they get mad expecting more. It's very annoying."

    if this keeps happening to you this just means your not keeping it real with the girl. By that i mean
    tell her your true intentions for example, after i build comfort and can act sexually with them i can now
    start planting things in their heads like what my intentions are and that im not looking for no relationship/commitment
    just fwb with no strings attach. Avoid being too emotional, or expressing your feeling around her thats a sign of weakness unless your tryng to date her. LMR happens cuz you didnt build enough comfort with her.

  6. hi damnyounorwood

    this is so easy man. you cannot be a guy, you need to be irrational

    upfront,m straight forward etc etc does not work usually

    never say exactly what you want. consider her feelings and defences

    i would

    - ask her out
    - get drunk or semi drunk
    - let her know you dont know what you want, or need, just want to have fun
    - dont get serious or confrontational, ask her the same thing, what she wants
    - make her laugh, show her a good time, have fun, romance her even a bit. be a friend
    - bang her good, and be nice after. dont freeze out make her feel used, or slutty
    - cuddle after
    - she will come back for more, and then some with out even having to tell her anything

    djm

  7. Hey Norwood, I play in a band also. Can you give me some tips on dealing with real time constraints at a show? Here's a copy of a post I made the other day. Haven't gotten any responses yet...

    I'm 52 but could pass for 40. Lots of girls think I'm handsome. I play guitar in a dance/rock band. I'm looking for some tips on running game at my shows.

    Exactly how do you game while playing? About all I can do is make eye contact and smile, but for how long, how often, etc? I do have a cordless, so I can go out on the dance floor while playing. That usually gets some girls grinding on me, but I eventually have to get back on stage. Any tips for running game while playing? I'm not the singer but I am comfortable talking to crowds, if that makes any difference.

    We usually play three sets, so that's two 20-minute breaks. I usually walk around giving stickers to the girls and cards to the guys. One line I have found that is GOLDEN (although I need some tips to take it farther) is, when I ask a girl if she wants a sticker, and she says yes, I nonchalantly say you have to promise to put it somewhere where lots of people will see it. Almost every time, they indicate their tits or ass. I usually respond, in that case I'll need to apply it for them because I have to make sure it'll stick properly to the fabric, blah blah blah. They all giggle at that quite a bit, and I've even had a few turn around and stick their asses out (one chick did it with her husband sitting right next to her. He was NOT HAPPY with me gently rubbing her ass, presumably "checking the fabric", but I had no idea she was married and she offered it. oh well!)

    Anyway, back to the breaks. There's not a lot of time, and I usually need to take a leak also. I have no problem approaching. I usually go for the direct approach: You're adorable, what's your name? But after that, I don't know how to run game with those time constraints.

    After the show, it's late and most girls have left, or they're drunk and tired and ready to leave. Plus I have to pack up my gear. I thought one tactic I can use is tell her if she stays for the whole show I'll give her a t-shirt (which don't exist but could), which is merely an excuse to get her out to my truck where I'll try to make out with her.

    I realize I have an awesome automatic advantage playing in a band. Chicks who would otherwise ignore me are grinding on me and my junk. But I don't know how to capitalize on it.

    BTW, we usually play over an hour from my home in the sticks, so taking them back to my place is almost never an option. And I'm not looking for a relationship with the kind of girls in the places we play (other than FWB), so I'm left with fooling around in the parking lot with the hopes of later play-dates at her place or mine.

    My home is non-negotiable, so please don't tell me to move. And getting gigs in higher class venues is both easier-said-than-done and beyond the scope of this discussion.

    Any of you guys play in a band? What advice can you give me? Thanks!

  8. Just smash her over and over again, and if she brings it up, tell her you're "not opposed to a relationship, but just very busy right now" etc.

    You don't have to flat out tell her the second you meet her, dude. Girls are the ones who will try to get into a relationship, so only tell her if she brings it up.

    When she asks things like...

    "What are we?"

    or

    "So are we dating yet?"

    Then you bring it up.

  9. I do not understand what the problem is. If you like her, meet her. If you need sex - find a girl who needs the same thing. But don't play with the feelings of others.

  10. That no one wants to take responsibility? If you like a girl, invite her for a date. Is it so difficult?

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