Scoundrel's Day Game Journal

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  1. Scoundrel's Day Game Journal

    Primer on theScoundrel: To be updated..

    Day 1: 6/19/2013, Total Time: 5 Hours

    Left home. Got on the subway car and a girl with a backpack sat to my side. She was well over the cuteness bar. After some hestitation, I warmed up by asking if she was a tourist. She said no and I found out she was going to college in the city. Didn't hit on her but atleast it was warmup.

    After walking around a bit, I sat down sipping my smoothie, when a girl also sat a few feet away from me to eat her empanada. I had just seen her buy that from a nearby food truck. After some hesitation, I asked her how the empanadas were and how they compared to another famous empanada shop in the city. Again, didn't hit on her but I was stretching those social muscles.

    As I was exiting another subway station, I saw this really cute butt going up the escalator and the figure seemed great with gorgeous brown hair. I swallowed my anxiety and rushed up the escalator and stopped in the step in front of her and gave her and complimented her looks. Her face did not disappoint. I didn't push past the opener, wished her a good day and left.

    Texted roommate all my approaches.

    Women hit on: 0, Women I spoke with: 3

    Day 2: 6/20/2013, Total Time: 3 Hours

    Roommate asked me to do 5 warmups in the first hour I was out to avoid the day becoming a wash.

    Started the streets at an University campus. Warmed up by asking two women where the University Law School was. Was hesitating a lot at the University so I left and started walking towards a nearby shopping district.

    Along the way, this petite woman started walking to my side in a summer dress and a summer hat. After some hesitation, I opened saying that I saw her walking to the side and I thought she was cute and that since we were walking in the same direction, I'd rather be walking with a very pretty girl till we parted ways. She denied she was pretty and I asked her to lift her hat for a second. She complied and I nodded approvingly. The chick was asian and I found she was engaged. We then parted ways as I had nothing more to pursue and she was going off to meet her friend.

    As I walked out towards the edge of the shopping district, I complimented a guy on his bicycle because he had cool cargo structure built on it to carry stuff. I then walked down to shopping district and made eye contact with an Indian girl coming the opposite way. She passed by. I hesitated and then turned around and saw a mostly clear street. Reluctantly, I approached and due to the hesitation, my body language and tonality was way off. I approached, to her side, saying that we had made eye contact and I thought she was cute and I wanted to come talk to her. She gave me a raised eye brow and started walking faster. I called it out and told her, I'd see her later.

    Feeling slightly dejected after that approach (I'm still a little outcome-dependent), I walked towards the waterfront of the shopping district and asked a girl how to get there. I then headed home and as I was coming out the subway, I asked a woman for happy hour recommendations. Then I headed home.

    Women hit on: 2, Women I talked to: 6

  2. Picking my journal back up.. Date: May 3, 2016

    My coach had tasked me with 25 approaches for the week. He was helping me with some mindset stuff last night and I took that with me to the mall near my work to try to approach. 1 Hour went by and nothing except for a random question to a kiosk chick and a Macy's clerk. I had gotten 4 approaches in yesterday and was back at the same inability to approach as yesterday or worse.

    I was furious at myself and told myself I'm not going home until I get atleast one approach in. Parked my car near a subway and forced myself to approach this chick walking towards a crosswalk. Nice body and legs, Okay Face. I approached her direct and acknowledged the unusualness of the situation (but used the word awkward for some reason...). She said she had to cross the street. I told her I would also cross but not to worry as I wasnt going to follow her and was making a left. We crossed the street and she said, "Bye!"

    In retrospect, part of the verbal fumble was not approaching for a solid hour and then driving for 20 minutes and only then talking to my first set. After approaching the girl, I'm wondering what all that fear was about, haha. I'm trying to get to the point where I develop an approach habit. As my coach says, every time I see a girl that I want to talk to and donít, that is also habit forming.

    Funny/Frustrating/Learning moment: When I was at the mall, this chick was coming down the escalator and I was on the bottom floor. She had a very flirty look about her with very intense eyes. I rationalized not approaching her, told myself to turn around and talk to her. While she was walking by, a kiosk guy selling some makeup shit casually talks her up and once she's hooked, casually hooks her arm with his and takes her to the booth. Very motivating.

  3. FR: 5/7/2016 (Music Festival)

    Realized from my last report here that I have to:
    1) talk to a lot more people than just cute girls
    2) let go of the outcome;
    3) and that every minute leading to an approach is important (Thanks to -David Post- and Jeremy DuBrul).

    On the metro, I saw an older woman with a "Washington, DC" sports bag. Tourist! When the train came, I sat next to her and asked if she was a tourist. She was incredulous, but opened really well and we talked till her stop came up.

    Left the subway determined to stay in state and I opened 2 more sets for directionals. 4th set, I was walking along this place selling knick-knacks outside. Saw a girl browsing. Complimented her on her scarf but.. she was staying put even though I tried to eject. This wasn't good game at all. She was just hanging around and being receptive. I asked her to recommend me a coffee shop thats not a chain store. She told me and I then invited her to hang out with me there and remembered to throw a Time Constraint in there. She told me she had to go home to drop her purchases off but would join me in 20 minutes. I wasnt sure if this was a blow off. Usually, girls just excuse themselves and leave.. So, I walked to the coffee store, worrying about looking like a beta chump just waiting there. (Decided to go to Trader Joe and get another set in the meanwhile). Sure enough, scarf girl shows up. We chat over coffee and we then met up with my friend and she went on her way. She was open to hanging around with me and my friends later, but I wanted some 1-on-1 time with her before we made this some awkward group date. I set up a date day for later in the week and that was that. (For my own notes, I logged another approach while scarf girl was finding a table and I was waiting in line to get coffee).

    Now the downsides: I let my ego get in the way twice that day. I never did an approach after I left scarf girl, rationalizing that I was "afraid" she would see me at the festival somewhere. Outcome dependent much? Second, after the funk festival I was walking a girl back to the metro that had come up to meet my buddy (he wasnt interested in her). I had hung out with her in our group for some hours throughout the day and though she was really attractive, her personality wasn't my type. I rationalized that since I couldn't picture hanging out with her if it went anywhere, that I was just going to keep it platonic. However, in reality, I didn't really believe I could "get" her and thus prevented myself from trying in the first place. Thanks for reading.

  4. FR: 5/10/2016

    Had to 25 approaches this week. Got 8 done today.

    Did some standard directional openers. Was feeling the nerves although I was following the instructions from an audio guide. I'm aware that I'm not completing the whole guide, so its definitely something I will make a point of completing.

    Did some standard directional openers to start off. About 3rd approach, I saw this girl leaning her bike against a bench and looking at her phone picturesque. I opened her stating that she looked very picturesque. I forgot to record this conversation as the details are hazy. But she hooked very well. She had an accent which I asked about. I specifically used the word "inflection" instead of accent which I might do more of in the future. She was a beautiful girl from Spain and we talked about the time I was in her country and we spoke about bikes.

    I readily admit that I could have pushed the set more than I did, but I kept the whole approach at rapport. I did not tease her at all. But I was surprised at how well that interaction had gone.

    Approaching really cute white girls have been a real sticking point for me. At around approach 4, I saw this girl sitting on a bench chilling and I remembered to practice my False Time Constraint, complimented her on how cute she looked and I got a smile and giggle before I even finished my sentence. After riffing on the opener for 5 more seconds, I ejected. In retrospect, I could have told her, "I don't know what specifically it is that I noticed about you. Do you know what it is?" Like genuinely curious-like.

    Left and went to a University/Shopping District area and I opened 3 sets there. Need to write down and practice some stuff to say. Also need to use more FTC's and conversational transitions.

  5. FR: 5/10/2014
    1 more from my last report:

    9) I realized I was out of ingredients when I was cooking. Ran to Safeway in my comfortable ugly house clothes. Saw a girl shopping. I hate opening girls when I'm not well dressed but I wanted to get as much done of the 25 approaches as possible. So, I rolled my shopping cart to hers' and opened saying, "Excuse me, when I imagine opening a girl, I don't see myself doing it in PJs, an oversize jacket and really bad shoes. (She went from stone faced to smiling at this point). I hope you can forgive me." She told me she was flattered, but was seeing someone (Didn't say boyfriend!). I could have pushed this a little more than I did like saying I "see" plenty of people everyday, etc etc. However, I said OK, have a nice day. I heard her giggling behind me as I left the aisle.

    FR: 5/14/2016

    Got 6 Today

    1) Girl standing outside Metro, Simple Coffee Store Opener
    2) Girl sitting at Bench really locked into her phone. Cute. She had a local Coffee Store cup by her. I asked her where she got it from. She said that the cup was not hers. I talk about coffee a little more and then transition. I apologize for disturbing her (in a light hearted manner) and mention how she was so locked into her phone. She mentions she was just looking at her Instagram. I know almost nothing of IG to riff off and then say bye.
    3) Runner Girl. I noticed this girl just casually strolling, looking up at the buildings as she is walking by in the opposite direction of where I'm walking. I turn back around and try to catchup with her. She walks down a block and then turns to crossover to my side of the street. I pretend to look for stuff while I wait for her to cross. We make eye contact. Then I catch up to her with my coffee store opener. She mentions that she doesnt drink coffee. I tease her about that. Then we rapport for a bit. Then I tease her more, ask her about how else she gets her stimulus and she mentions she likes chocolate. Dark Chocolate? She says no. White. I could have either rewarded her with a light hug at her answering my questions or thrown an actual qualifier in. She starts to excuse herself saying she has to go and I say I have to go too.
    4) Russian with retro platform shoes. I open a blonde with her platform heels and compliment her on them telling her it reminded me of the movie, "Back to the Future". She smirks and says sometimes old is new and continues walking (I'm still too nervous to actually stop the girl). This girl is a bit hot, and I almost start to apologize but I catch myself. In any case I dwell into the opener too much, didnt change subjects and I eject saying I have to make a left.
    5) Colombian. Coffee Store Opener. I comment on her accent. She says where she's from and that she does not drink coffee. I comment about Colombian Coffee and then eject.
    6) Girl in the metro. I was filling out a metro survey when this cute girl comes down the escalator, makes eye contact with me, smiles and then walks down. I finish out the survey, hand it to the survey taker and then walk to talk to the girl when I see that she's on the phone. I stop halfway and wait till she's done with the phone. Then I walk up to her, state what happened when she walked down the escalator initially, and opener her direct. She falls into conversation and I assumption stack that there she has a flowery dancery vibe to her. She says she used to be a dancer. I fail to reward her with a light hug. She also shows me a tattoo that she got. We then talk about New York and where she's from and then the vibe just gets very rapporty. I'm also nervous about doing anything in the metro other than the lightest of kino. She was very socially invested in our conversation. Even when she had to answer a long text, she apologized. A few minutes before the train arrives, she tells me that she has a boyfriend and that he's a fitness instruction. Message received loud and clear. The train comes, we both walk in and take different seats.

    15 sets approached this week. 10 to go.

    Sticking Points:

    I'm sticking to one topic for far too long.
    Need to switch topics and free flow conversation better.
    Need to continue using FTCs
    Might be working on too many things at one time.

  6. FR: 5/15/2016

    Approached only 3 sets that day. AA was flaring pretty high and it makes sense because I was not using the podcast instructions which has been useful to getting me past it.

    1) and 2) Warm up approaches
    3) Romanian. See this cute girl with a camera. I open her with my standard coffee store opener. She says she's not sure. I hear an accent. I ask her to think if she has seen any on her walks around the city. She says no. I find she's from Romania. We chit chat about Romania for a bit and then she suggests that we walk towards the White House (which was her destination) and if we come across any coffee store that I could stop there. This girl was cute and I had basic social comfort with her at that point, but I did not pull the trigger by trying to flirt with her. On our walk, I got a high five out of her. We talked about stuff tourists do vs. stuff locals do (which I consider a mini DHV). We found the store and I attempted a platonic number close. She suggested Facebook and we exchanged information. What I learned from this approach was that I find it really hard to escalate past basic social comfort when I'm not in state.

    After the Romanian, I headed to the date with scarf girl from FR: 5/7/2016

    I tried to take my time by not getting to the venue early but ended up 15 minutes early anyway. I figured I'd familiarize myself with the menu at the dive bar and then "arrive" 5 minutes late. To my surprise, she had walked in at the same time, which really surprised me. I took her to a secluded part of the bar and chit chatted. My plan here was to do no more than a 90 minute date. It was simply to just talk at this bar, then walk around, get an appetizer if necessary and then get a kiss. Here's where I learned that I either don't have good frame or I don't have good boundaries or both. She did not want to spend too much time in the outside since it was windy that day. We walked and I saw that she was holding her jacket on the arm closer to me. So, i asked to hold her jacket which I put on my other arm and then I just took her hand. She looked at me, laughed and then we walked to the next place.

    We had an another round of beers at the next place where we initially had sat on opposite sides of the table and I told her to come to my side. I got a good bit of kino in and in retrospect this would have been a good place to go for a make-out especially because the place had a smoker's balcony where I could have isolated. However, i was having such a good time conversing that I didn't even think about kissing her. After beer, she mentioned food and I surrendered frame and agreed to go to a place I liked. Between this venue and the walk to the food place, there were several opportunities for at least verbal sexual escalation. She mentioned having an IUD installed. Then she talked about being BI (which I felt was a test). I dismissed the BI part by saying it did nothing for me at which point she called Bullshit. I responded with the Jimmy Carr line, "I can barely get a word in between two girls, let alone my dick." She laughed loudly at that. (Buying Temperature spiked!) I only realized this in retrospect

    At the diner, she accidentally kicked my leg gently with her shoe and I called her lousy at playing footsy. She initiated some foot work on her own and since I don't have much experience with playing footsy, did little to reciprocate. We talked about meeting up the next time and she mentioned she thought she could take me (I'm a small guy even though I'm taller than her). I failed to see her verbal shit-test(?) as yet another opportunity to escalate. We parted ways with an awkward hug.

    My takeaway from this was that my dating skills are really rusty but overall I did more right than I did wrong. After talking to my coach, he thinks I'm afraid of my own sexuality or not comfortable with it.

    Scarf girl texted me the next day to change plans. I agreed, but as my coach has said, the guys who get really good at this stuff avoid situations where they can't get laid and the situation that she was proposing i.e. early dinner followed by a book signing by a musician did not seem conducive to getting the lay. Also, I really did not want to get into the boyfriend zone with her, so I texted her later to tell her that something came up at work and that I had to cancel. Yesterday, I texted her to meet me up after the book signing promising kabobs and wine. She declined. She'll be going out of town over the weekend for a bachelerotte. We'll see how it plays out after she comes back. The connection might be dead. But I'm happy that I took a risk.

    Lessons Learned:

    Escalate and Calibrate, Escalate and Calibrate, Escalate and Calibrate.
    Don't be afraid of losing the girl. There will be others. (This is really hard to internalize as she was my first date in a couple of months and though I was taking some verbal risks, I was also playing it safe)
    Once I've identified that I'm in Basic Social Comfort, its time to move to qualifying and flirting.
    Have a plan and stick to it.
    Don't let the girl challenge your frame! Only do something if YOU want to do it, not to appease her.

  7. FR: 5/18/2016

    Went out on 5/16 and could not get a single approach in. AA was back and harder than ever. I tailed it home and tried again yesterday. Got 6 approaches in at some clothing stores and a mall next door.

    1) Saw an Asian with a nice ass in Yoga pants. Opened her asking if she was a dancer. My verbal delivery was really poor and I'm sure the nervousness showed on my face. It was like all the tension that was building in me came out in that approach. She said no, she wasnt and ejected. I shrugged it off
    2) Functionally opened a girl asking her for an opinion on a belt. She complied and I heard an accent but did not push the interaction. She also wasnt really my type but I think thats just an excuse.
    3) Saw a nice ass on a white lady, approached her from the side and opened her direct, she said thanks and kept walking. I ejected.
    4) Opened a Brazilian with coffee store opener. She said she did not know. I asked her about her accent and made some comment about how I'm trying to learn the place and ejected.
    5) At this point, I felt like I was halfway to state, so I had less trouble asking this girl at a crosswalk for a coffee store that wasn't a chain. I extended the conversation about how I'm trying to learn the area. I feel like this area has potential so I will be visiting this place to explore it for more sets!

    Sticking points:

    Still having trouble escalating.
    Still having trouble consistently pushing my comfort zones with the girls I do approach
    Its easier when I have state, so I either need to learn to get into state quicker or escalate regardless of state.
    Still having trouble getting volume in my approaches.
    Completely forgot about using False Time Constraints in my approaches.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2016

    have you ever tried going with a direct approach instead of in direct im sure your coach mentioned it. also have you ever got a same day lay and how are your days 2 if you had any i enjoyed your log

  9. Yeah, I've gone direct before. It's alright. Personally, I have more success when I don't hit on them directly. Im not a 'positive stereotype' so I don't want to have the girls make a binary decision on whether they want to continue the interaction based on "hi, I just saw you right now and you looked really nice and I had to come meet you"

    Id rather show them my personality, spike their buying temperature and establish a connection. I've never had a same day lay or a day 2 lay. Currently, I'm trying to get a lay by day 3. If I get good enough at that, then I'll ramp it up to day 2s.

    My day 2s are decent. I can get girls to come out a third time. Apparently, I'm doing something right there. I think I need to be more confident and assertive in my escalation. Thanks for reading. Have a boot camp this weekend. More updates coming soon.

  10. FR from 5/19:

    Made 7 approaches that day. So throughout the day, I wanted to try something like the 3 second rule that works for me.

    The steps were:

    • Do I want to approach her? If yes, then
    • Whats my opener?
    • What do I say after that (usually something about her)?

    1) Red sweater girl - in a hurry to get to her bus. She passed the first test and I noticed her really red sweater so I opened her direct with me noticing her bright red sweater and wanting to come talk to her. She acknowledged what I was saying but was also looking for something and kept glancing around. I asked her if she was lost and she replied she was really trying to find her bus. I didn't want to get in her way and ejected, but in retrospect should have stayed put saying something like talk to me for 5 seconds and I'll help you find your bus or something.
    2) V8 Juice Girl. They were passing out V8s at the Metro station as a promo. I took one from them and on the metro platform saw a decent asian well dressed drinking a V8 bottle too. Opened her with what her V8 flavor tasted like. Set went OK. Im not sure if its because I wasnt completely into her or something but i snipped the conversation and waited for the train to come. I could sense she was open to continuing the conversation.
    3) Got off the metro. Asked a Venezuelan girl with a spot on her face for direction. She had a good body and was very earnest in telling me where to find a coffee store.
    4) Walked into a museum and on my way in there, I noticed a tall girl sitting on the steps. When I came out, I saw her still sitting there. I opened her saying that she had a very lanky look and if she was a dancer? She either didnt like my whole approach or the word lanky or something. She had a serious look with a slight scowl on her face and replied no. I brushed it off to the best of my ability and continued on.
    5) Brunette girl with glasses. Coffee store opener. Very helpful.
    6) Girl standing on top of a water fountain thing to take a picture of the water. Approached her situationally asking her if she was one of those kids always getting in trouble because she was climbing things. Neutral response. Thinking she was a maybe to no-girl.
    7) Average thin blonde with a takeout box and a nice bag and a pleather backpack. I opened her complimenting her backpack. Asked her what was in the bag. She replied some sort of vegan food. Told her we couldn't be friends cause vegan stuff is my kryptonite. She said she wasn't vegan, which I should have recognized as an IOI. I told her I was making a left at the sidewalk. She said OK, with that slight hesitation which showed she was open to talking more. I could have asked for her name at that point, told her I wanted to get a quick drink and she should join me, etc.

    Approach 7 is the approach I had the most regret about because I didn't push it. Its getting to the point where I'm regretting not pushing a set as hard as I can. In the past I simply regretted not doing an approach. Talking to a girl is nice and all (even if I'm still hesitating to approach at), but its time to go for some kind of close when I DO open and face the potential of rejection. Realized I need to work on my inner game as well and the weekend bootcamp proved it as I realized I don't have a good self image. I google fu'd some inner game resources and I found psycho-cybernetics interesting. So I've been hitting that book hard and will be practicing future projection and other techniques every day for the next 30 days. Ofcourse I will update this thread on whether these things will work for me or not.

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