normalguy situation

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  1. #1
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    normalguy situation

    Hi everyone, I hope we learn a lot together from my situation and from the great advices coming.

    -25 years old average guy after school started working and there are almost no girls on otherwise good workplace with potential
    -old social circle mostly dried up, if invite for a meetup 0-1 person comes usually
    -hate opening girls in shopping malls, bars and night clubs, became depressed because of it, hundreds of humiliating blowouts, online too. three one night stands overall but very sick of every cold approach
    -at sports I suck and looked down a little, masculine guys who know each other and bigger than me and not the partying type, few girls, others girlfriends
    -I dont know about other places, but language courses are very expensive in this country
    -at salsa and other pair dancing 30 years+ mostly ugly and a few average looking women, at zumba 10-15 person groups with few average looking girls, at hiphop 15-18 years old girls who think like wtf this guy is doing here and attack me from big sets like how suck I dance, why is X talking with me, they become quiet when I appear etc
    -joga 30-35 years old women who are average looking at best
    -summer is coming and courses, sports, school and everything is empty of people, I can only cold approach -.-

    You are probably doing much better than me, what are your advices?



  2. #2
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    Go join clubs or events you do like, that you can afford, that will assure you meet women with same interests. If you hate opening in malls, bars, and night clubs because you've got depressed from the outcomes, work on your confidence and game again. It's not something I do either, but the fact the rejections are getting to you means there is still room for improvement.

    Don't look for excuses to blame, there is always women out there to meet.

  3. #3
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    Re: normalguy situation

    You can do it man, just keep at it. I turn the blow outs into funny stories sometimes. The salsa girls are above average if they can move sharp and strong. Trust me, most average women can't do that. Try finding a social or two, the different socials have different age groups. In my area the ballroom has older ladies, but the socials at the clubs have younger hot types.

    I have gotten into Argentine Tango and there are 4 gorgeous women of varying ages that I can dance with. If I stayed in my area then that would be it (though those ladies are enough), but I went to a big social far away and OMG it was silly with elegant hotties.

    Sent from my KFJWI using Tapatalk HD

  4. #4
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    Get out there again, learn to love cold approaches! Even if they look at you in a negative way, fuck that! Read some inner game articles, and be the man you want to be!

  5. #5
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    Main problem here is inner game. You've gone so far into the AFC mentality, you don't think it's even worth gaming anymore. Watch a few episodes of Californication. Go out on your own, drink some scotch at a bar until you snap the fuck out of it, and get some self esteem. Then get out there, engage in some witty banter with women, other men, doesn't matter if you're attracted to them or not. What matters is that they are attracted to you. That you're funny, dynamic. Be the person you always wanted to be, not the person you think you are. Read some Jean Baudrillard if you need to figure this out, because if you think that you are your mental impression of how you are, you're never (and I mean never) going to get a chick. Ever.

    Don't pay attention or focus on "just gaming". You'll build up people you talk to, get into another social circle. If you're "a fun guy", the HB come running.

    I shit you not, I've gone from a total social zero to dating the hottest babe in a club in under a month. And she left her useless fiancee of 5 years, chased me down on FB, demanded I date her. People talk about a "strong game". This isn't 100% correct. It's a strong you. It's been my personal experience that, while I rose in this social circle, I turned down at least a dozen advances. I didn't ignore them, I flirted, was nice, I made sure they knew I wasn't gay and was DTF, but never pulled the trigger and just continued on. I could go on about how this advanced me to the next level of HB, because I obviously had too much DHV for the mid-tiered ladies, or I could go on about how Duchoveny I was with my intellectual banter, wry comments, or any number of other psychobabble.

    But, you know what I think it really was that ended up getting me about six HB8-10s end to end? I personally felt better from turning them down. Not because "I couldn't score", but because I didn't want to, and they did. "Women have all the power" really is a myth. They are as much a slave to passion as any guy.

    In the words of Eddie Murphy, "there isn't a single girl in the audience right now who wouldn't rather have a big dick in them than be sitting here listening to my sorry ass". He was dead to rights. The problem being, the really hot ones don't see themselves with a guy unless he stands apart from the crowd, is a fantastic person. Who makes you a fantastic person?

    You.

  6. #6
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    Its cool that so many person made a comment.

    I dont want to continue cold approaches to be honest, I saw some good and persistent "puas" in my country who have been sarging regularly for years. They make more fcloses than me but, instead of having a ton of girls hanging around them as it should be after some years, they almost never having a girlfriend or turn into a cool guy making contacts with rich people or making cool parties or any moving forward in life. Even after 4 years later they are the same, lurking in clubs and shopping malls. I dont wanna be the same as them in 5 or 10 years.

    I'd like to be a guy, to whos house people (especially girls, and boys who are strong or successful or entertaining) go to watch tv, play video games, laugh etc often. I want to belong to the same dhv group with them, not just strangers from nightclub cold approach and some random strangers I met in the shopping mall. And if I go to a sport or party or any program I want many people go with me. I want to know a ton of girls who I can invite, and not the 30 years old ones.

    It seems to me making male friends is quite easy, just go to a gym or sporting place regularly and invite people to a beer or to a club at the weekend. The harder thing is to know a lot of girls. The one million dollar question is, where are social circles which I can join and there are dozens of 18-24 years old girls and how can I have status there?

  7. #7
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    Maybe work at night and go to university without studying just for the girls until I'm fired? Or be a janitor in shopping mall to pick up the young sellergirl collegues? I hope you're having better ideas because these doesnt sound too great, especially for long term.

  8. #8
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    To me it sounds like you're not just fed up with game, but fed up with life in general.

    You need to figure out what you're passionate about in life, and then build a life that revolves around those activities. If money was no object, what would you do everyday?

    If you wake up everyday and know you are doing something that you love, then life becomes a whole lot more interesting. Worries about women and other insecurities just seem to disappear.

    The other point is that when you're doing things you love, other people will gravitate towards you.. women included.

    Like T0r1n said, it's about a strong you. Building the life that YOU want is center to this.


    Concentrate on sorting YOUR life out.

  9. #9
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    try to pick up online

  10. #10
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    Well, from here it's only getting better right !?

    ALWAYS STAY POSITIVE -

    There are guy's who have it way worse than you; have you even read all thats stuff out here ?

    You are that pathetic guy that you think you are.. but only you can change it.
    Go study, go work out, go join events.
    Honestly it annoys me that you event post this. I dont want so sound like a dick but really grow some balls and get your shit together.
    Btw needing any help on what things you should read or study, or just someone to talk to. You can alway's PM.

    I warn you though, i only tell the truth even if thats not what you want to hear.

  11. #11
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    The fact that you admit what areas you need improvement means that you are on your to better your game.

    That's the hardest thing- to admit that you need improvement.

    It doesn't need to be expensive to get in the game.

    You can join organizations you are interested in and you can start to expand your network and acitivities.

    Stay positive in all you do because it only takes confidence to pull it all off.

  12. #12
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    You realize you need an improvement in your life, but than discard any option that sits on the table, you do not like women in your activities and you do not want approach them.

    I agree the whole idea of approaching is pretty bad it implies having agenda, but to get to know other people you have to make contact, there no other way around.

    So, instead of cold approaching how about reaching out and talking to people. When next time you go out or just running your daily errands and you see somebody interesting, reach out, make a contact and go say hi.

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