Logistics and planning non-drinkers

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  1. #1
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    Logistics and planning non-drinkers

    Or I guess light weights to be precise.

    Scenario: you and a girl are a decent distance apart (need to drive). If she drives, she definitely can't drink (no social lubricant ). You get the feeling that it may take a few dates before she is comfortable enough to go to your place. Hers probably isn't an option.

    Do you bide your time? Have a few "innocent" dates then invite her over, or is there another way?

    I seem to be attracting this type more frequently lately. Thoughts/advice appreciated.



  2. #2
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    My best advice is to invite her to meet you out with you and your friends (preferably girls but guys who can wing you and know she is hands off will work too... girls should be present though). Tell her to bring friends but make sure they are cool... Don't let you down.

    Plan to turn the one date into a few mini-dates by bouncing to different comfort building locations.

    Start at a bar/club but give a false drinking constraint (i can only have one drink tonight because I'm training to run a marathon next month).

    Play the social guy that introduces everyone.

    At the bar, DHV by making great convo with your and her friends and playfully neg her (don't go overboard on the negs..she's obviously through A1 with you if she agreed to meet you on a date).

    Next move into A2: Have a wing or pivot demonstrate social proof:

    A-la mystery method - Male wing-tells a story about how you and him hacked a hedge fund and felt bad afterwards so you donated the money to charity... He is still mad at you for not keeping just a little bit of the money... Get creative here it doesn't have to be canned material but it does have to demonstrate "leader of men"

    Female pawn/pivot: "so here I am puking my brains out and he was holding my hair back... I was so embarrassed!"

    Another pivot: "watch out, he's dated playboy models" (mystery method)

    A3: kino escalation routine/more DHV's. Get at least 3 IOI's

    Bounce into C1:
    This first bounce should be an easy bounce... Within walking distance away from yours and her friends but slightly more private. Good convo here (remember you are responsible for controlling the convo and making it interesting). A few DHV's (cell-phone photo routine) and kino escalation routine. Give a false time constraint a minute or two into the routine.... We should get back to our friends in a few. If things are going well (good kino and she is throwing IOI's this FTC can wait). If no kissing kino by now, rejoin friends and go back to A1 with her (playful negs & DHV's) and start using your pawn/pivot or another set to create jealousy. Make sure you have locked your target in by now though (a hand hold - not without previous kino or prop works best).

    Once jealousy has been created and she is back to giving you IOI's, move to C1 again... "Hey I'm really enjoying our conversation but I havent been so nice to my friend (target). Do you mind if we go talk for a few and we will rejoin you. A new, more private spot. Kino escalate to kiss closing... Either time bridge or suggest C1.2 (come get an ice cream/slice of pizza/soft drink/pretzel/etc with me next door).

    More comfort building. Now your will be building trust too. She is leaving somewhere with you and you make sure she is comfortable and safe. Invite some friends if needed.

    From C1.2 you can either bounce to another bar/club C1.3 or if the night is late you can time bridge to an invite to a day date (come look at a house that is for sale with me tomorrow... I can so not afford it now but I aspire to live in a place like this someday). Meet me at my place and we will head over together.

    When she gets to your place have her come in briefly and be in a little bit of a hurry to get out/meet the realtor... This piques her interest and she will wonder why you didn't make a move on her. Now she won't be uncomfortable when you invite her over for dinner and a movie next week!

    All of this is classic mystery method / social dynamics. Good luck!

  3. #3
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    My place, if all goes well, is date 3. haven't kissed...really only met each other for an hour. I've suggested bowling.

    To first reply: you have it all figured out! Not for me, though. Thanks anyway.

  4. #4
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    Put it out there that you're not a drinker. If she continues to show interest then she really likes you. Don't dance around it. Explain you have no issues with her having a drink. Putting it out there yourself is a DHV as it seems your offering to walk away if she doesn't like it. Offer something fun like a movie/dinner and subtly tell her that "I'm not much of a drinker". Best way to handle this, show confidence in who YOU are and also to find out how interested she is. HH

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