a girl who lost hope of the world

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    a girl who lost hope of the world

    i like girl. but she seems very negative about world. about people that close to her, about family and friends. She does not mix around. but still she is attractive and have many admirers. She perfer to be by herself. She hardly got friends. But i think male friends should have coz she beautiful.

    1. how should i approach her?
    2. i want to guide her change perceptive about life, how to convince her this world still got hope, and there are still good people exist ? how to convince her improve relation with family as well? I know all these because she told me on this.
    3. how to chase her.. i fail many times . i already said 3 words that need to say. she does not response. mute. seriously, consider we normal friends.
    4. another problem. she is too far away from me. we only have video chat and everyday we message each other unless we not on internet. but we knew each other for a decade in study life. I asked her before about her feeling the first moment we met at study life. she said got "feeling". that's all. Surely i love her more than she love me. The thing is she does not love anyone.

    Guru, need some advices.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    You are suffering from KISA Syndrome, my friend. "Knight In Shining Armor Syndrome."
    For some reason you want to "save" this woman, change her outlook on life and somehow give her a better life.
    This is all very noble - and very impossible...and a great way to waste your time.

    You can NOT change other people - itīs simply not possible.
    Any real change a person wants to make HAS to be built on a real, genuine desire to change. Nothing less.
    And this girl is acting the way she is because this behaviour makes PERFECT sense to her, and works for her.

    Nobody on this planet does anything that doesnīt make sense to themselves (excluding actions while intoxicated etc).
    So rest assured, that while she might seem to need "saving" or "help" in your perspective - she quite possibly feels that her way works for her.

    Did she ask you to "help" her?
    Does she WANT to change?
    Do you want to change her, so she fits with your idea of how your woman should think and feel?

    And even if she DOES ask you for help, if I were you Iīd ask myself this: "Do I want a partner or a patient?".

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
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    OldFart is 100% correct. If you listen to him, you will save yourself a lot of grief.

    Go find yourself a happy, confident woman who is fulfilled. You make sure you are that way, too.

    EDIT: What I said is backed up by my own direct personal experience

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