Harnessing Your Sexual Desire

Harnessing your Sexual Desire


As a red flag anytime you hear yourself say “That’s just not me”, stop and question your thinking. “YOU” should be a very fluid concept. The guys I’ve seen get good with women the quickest are those who don’t link their Identity to trying new things and experimenting with new behaviours.

1. Stop Masturbating

(This doesn’t work for everyone – but try it)

Spark up your sexual desire and enjoy being aroused without masturbating and releasing your energy. There is a reason why Mohammed Ali wouldn’t have sex before a fight or David Beckham before a big game – the use of that stored sexual energy can make you:

  • More tolerant of rejection
  • Sharper and more alert in the field
  • More willing to take risks and push an interaction further
  • More comfortable with and willing to touch, especially if you’re having trouble physically escalating
  • More creative and spontaneous, increasing your ability to live in the moment

“Masculinity” strives for freedom, as David Deida puts it. Our masculine side searches for that emptiness, that calm after the storm, that moment after ejaculation, the “Ahhhh and then the snore”. That is in complete conflict to Owning Our Desire (see my previous post on this subject), so it requires great control and discipline to start enjoying being in the state of arousal without releasing it in the primitive way.

2. Increase your sensuality

Your ability to give and receive pleasure will increase your attractiveness and begin to shine through in your Body Language. It’s so important to increase your sensuality because I don’t know many high value women that will stick around for very long with a man who has no clue how to pleasure them in the bedroom.

Take your time and enjoy experiences – Whether it be chocolate or drinking wine, enjoy the array of flavours, see how slowly you can eat/drink them allowing the chocolate to melt in your mouth completely. So many men are like planks of wood - senseless and unaware of how to give a woman an experience she’ll remember. I teach my students how to take a woman on a Sensory Date, creating a seductive experience that engages all of her senses and leads her naturally to sex on the first date. If you can’t appreciate sensuality you’re going into battle blindfolded.

Start Moisturizing – If you don’t already moisturize when you come out of the shower start doing so. Buy Baby Oil or Coco Butter or whatever other products are good for softening your skin. The important thing is also to take your time drawing attention to every part of your body as you moisturize. Guys want to increase their presence and how “Alpha” they are but they don’t have a clue about their own bodies. Presence comes from relaxation and from being comfortable “in your body”. You can’t be truly comfortable in your body if you don’t “know” it completely. This is one way to discover it while at the same time awakening the receptors on the surface of your skin, making you more sensitive to touch; increasing your ability to receive pleasure, increasing you desire! Genius! The skin is a huge erogenous zone.

Study a bit of massage – Preferably a form of Sensual Massage.

Increase Foreplay - Next time you’re with a woman, spend as long as possible in foreplay, enjoying every part of her body, discovering her sensitive spots, resisting the urge to get to penetration quickly. Try sensual massage (can find that on the net) with oils, music, and scented candles. Create an experience for you both that is equally as enjoyable as penetration itself.

Revel in your Lust

Is Lust such a bad thing? We’ve been socially conditioned to view lust and desire as evil, part of the 7 Sins and all, but everyone who has ever hooked up has lusted after their prospective partners. I take it to another level. While some people listen to music and do crazy shit with their mates before going out to “Get into State”, I put on video compilations of extremely hot women. You can find them on Youtube if you type in Hot Women ☺)

Some guys have kindly taken the time to compile the images and even put music behind it. I don’t watch porn before going out (although it might work for you). It’s not to get me horny but rather to stimulate my mind and stoke up a burning desire to go out and get the hottest women!

Hope it helps, feel free to add your thoughts and experiences.

-V