How to build Pre-Selection and Social Proof for 9s and 10s

I wanted to date stunning women, the kind that would turn heads and drop jaws, particularly mine. That’s why I got into this stuff. I don’t really give a shit about taking home a 7 four nights in a row, although I am capable of doing so.

How do you get from the realm of getting women to getting stunning women? I asked myself this question a couple of years ago, took a 1-on-1 (with Tenmagnet), consulted naturals, and read and listened to EVERYTHING possible on the Internet.

Here’s a couple of things that didn’t work…

--Not opening 9s and 10s--I played it way too safe. I knew I could be successful with average women, which blew the asshole out of having no success before game, so I got too comfortable with getting consistent results with average women. What’s worse, I built an ego around being good with these women, so going up to a 9 would stomp my reality when I’d get blown out. In turn, I made excuses and never approached these women. It never appeared to me this way because the mind tends to plays tricks on you when your ego is threatened.

I think this is a major reason why most guys don’t get the hottest women. I mean, you don’t have to take a 1-on-1 to understand that not opening will get you nothing (although taking a 1-on-1 will definitely get you to open these women).

--Only opening 9s and 10s--Sweet, right? You’d think this strategy would burn the 9 and 10 AA down, but it basically had me standing around all night, approaching once or twice. There would only be a few stunners in the bar, so going up to them had me cold and tense. I switched to only allowing myself to only get numbers from 9s and 10s. After a couple months of no dates, I realized this strategy sucked as big of balls as my first one.

Look at a cake. The 7s and 8s should be the core and the 9s and 10s should be the icing on top. (I believe that originally came from Savoy.) Keep your same cake pan but focus on adding icing if you want 9s and 10s.

--Living in a small city that lacked abundance--In university (“college”), there would only be a couple 9s and 10s in the bar on a given night, and the funny part is that, looking back, a 9 in L.A. could crush these small town girls’ souls with a one toss of her peroxide-blonde hair. However, to a guy stuck in this environment, going against the local 9s felt like game 7 of the Stanley Cup (World Series ). If you’re in a big city and going to shitty bars, expect the same effect.

When I’d move away to a bigger centre to practice game for the summers, the calibre of women I’d date would go up the with my first step onto the big city sidewalk. In turn, I also gained more access to 9s and 10s and dated a couple of them too. When I came back to school in the fall, my inner game was stronger for the experience, and once I became an instructor—dopest job ever for a guy still in college—there was no comparison to my former results.

“Hey Nick, are you coming to the keg party in Joe’s backyard this weekend? Ten bucks.”

“No, I’m going to New York to rock the fuck out for the weekend.”
Needless to say, I started dating one of the hottest girls on campus, and meeting her in the bar was relatively easy compared to the years before because I applied the following and the had the inner game to back it…

Gaining Pre-Selection for 9s and 10s

Inner game + having other girls interested in you = your night gets exponentially easier
What I’m talking about here is for pure cold approaching. If you can skew the odds in your favour through applying some Social Circle Mastery concepts, by all means do that. You’ll laugh at the bullshit blowouts you have to run through with cold approaching 6s.

Before you cold approach 9s and 10s, you want to create a faux social circle for that night in the bar (“single-serving friends”). I follow this action plan:

1. I like to mingle early in the night, be it with guys, girls or staff. Offer some quick value, get their name and eject. This gets me warmed up, and it also allows me to say hi to people later under the auspice that I know them. If you’re holding a woman’s hand at midnight and she says, “Wow, you know everybody,” you’re doing something right.

Sometimes I skip this step since it isn’t always necessary, but it doesn’t hurt. You can re-apply it between sets.

2. I open easy sets to start. Again, this helps me to get warmed up, but it’s also guaranteed to build social proof. See a set of 6s and 7s who will just be happy to have a guy talk to them? Open.

Young girls are especially good for this because you can spike their buying temperature, get them excited and then leave on a high note so they are always excited to see you later. If you have buddies who are just happy to talk to girls or other dudes you meet in the bar, you can pass these girls off and then everybody loves you. Older women (30s) are usually happy to talk and may be the only decent conversationalists in the bar, so I don’t mind talking to them too.

3. Work your way up the ladder. Move from those average girls into the above average girls category or straight to the hottest women. The goal is to build social proof and pre-selection, not to actually game the women you have no intention of taking home. (Don’t fall into a trap!) The funny thing I find with this goal is that since I have no attachment to the outcome of these single-serving sets—since the only goal is to NOT go home with them—they respond all too well and run smoothly.

*Caveat: if you are consistently having issues getting this step to fire off, you may not quite be at the point to get 9s and 10s. I definitely recommend you keep opening them, but if you can’t get 8s attracted to you, you can’t get 9s attracted to you. Keep working.

4. Make sure you are seen by the 9s and 10s with all of these other sets. If you did step 1, you’ll likely be able to cruise the bar and know somebody within her proximity, preferably somebody who lacks a penis. If she sees you with other women, you’re going to have an easier time starting a conversation with her because you’ve built attraction without opening your mouth.

How do you know when you have enough social proof to open her? Well, there is no holy law that says you neeeed social proof to open her, but if you’ve been seen with other women, or if other women in the bar are giving you signals. You’re probably fine. (If you’re at this level, you likely will know intuitively.)

5. As you are with the other sets, get in proximity of the 9s and 10s and open them. Simple. You don’t need the world’s most exotic opener, just keep rolling like you have been all night because that is what the high value guy (you) she has been watching has done.

That said, you may still have to plough through resistance, etc., but that is often a 9s or 10s default programming. The same principles really do apply; you just get a lesser margin for error.

Here is a very basic example of this plan in action, which resulted in me getting a responsive number from a 9 this past weekend. There is really nothing epic to it, and solid game often isn’t miraculous. If you have solid game, the process I described above will be default and natural…

Out on a Friday night, teaching: Future is in a set with an approach coach, the students are starting to filter in. The rooftop bar itself is full already under the hazy blue shadow of the Empire State Building.

I see three 6s standing in a circle beside the main bar, so I go to open. I don’t even remember my opener, something off the cuff. I bullshit with them for a few minutes, just enough to get one interested, bring in a student and peace out.

The students are all in the club now, so I talk with them for a bit, carry on a set that Future has to eject from to talk with students, trade off with him and I bring in one of the students and go talk to Trigger, who is talking to two Texas girls. Across the bar, I see a six-foot tall, dark-haired beauty of a woman, great smile.

I walk that way, drop into their set, say hi in passing as they look at me and loop back across the bar.

I’m now on their radar.

I loop back about 10 minutes later, determined to make something work. I know that I have to increase my value now.

I go back into the set with the 6s, who are right beside the 9. I see that she has shifted herself in set and that she wants me to open her. I tell one of the 6s I am with that I am looking for my buddy (the student), so I move the 6 to my side. This makes it look like I’m trying to get a better vantage point to find my buddy, but really it just let’s me roll into the 9s’ set.

I don’t have an opener, but I just go for it.

“Hell-lo guys. I’ve noticed that you’ve been standing her for fifteen minutes and not a single man has come up to talk to you, so I will be that man.”

Faces light up.

I introduce myself to all of them around me, a 3-set, with my 9 in the middle across from me. I roll into some off the cuff story about how it is normal for Canadians to talk to people, how we are friendly, blah blah. One of the 9s’ friends, a 7, starts asking me a whole bunch of questions. (The 9 asks a question here too, but I pretend I don’t even hear it and ignore.) I engage this 7 for a while, try to be cool with the other girl, an 8 who is coooollld, get all of their names and leave.

As I leave, I say, “I’ll make sure to run into guys later,” and I non-chalantly grab the hand of the 9 and walk away letting it fall from my grasp… just a little something to send a signal.

I peel out to find my students, since I am, indeed, working first and foremost. After talking to Trigger and the two Texas girls that are loving him, I pull aside the student with him and we post up at the bar corner under the palm tree and bullshitted. I’m locked in.

As we do this, a gaggle of five girls sneaks by. They don’t look a day over 21 and the cutest of them looks me up and down. She looks way too innocent. Immediately, I grab her arm and pull her in.

“You’re adorable. Who are you?”

She quivers as she introduces herself. I don’t know if she has ever had this happen to her before… or been in a bar for that matter.

It’s funny how thin slicing works once you know it. My first impressions of this girl was that she was too innocent to take home, so I immediately file her into the category of social proof, even through she was definitely cute enough.

I’m not going on three fucking dates waiting for this kid to fall in love with me. She’s going to be a clinger.

Regardless, her group loves me, and I bring in a couple students to talk with them (and one got a number from it). I take this innocent girl and her sister to go look for Future, who I’ll need as a wing for the 9s’ set.

I took the innocent girl’s (fat) sister for a couple of reasons. First, I wasn’t trying to pick up the innocent girl, so isolation wasn’t my main focus. Secondly, I saw her sister as this girl waiting to explode if I took the innocent one away. By taking both of them, shit couldn’t blow up.

Being the guy I am, I lead this innocent girl right past the 9, linger for a second as if I am looking around. I mean, I am looking for Future, but I know he won’t be on that side of the bar.

I see him back by the rooftop entrance, so I drop of these two girls with students. (Perfect for everybody.) Future comes with me and I go right up to the 9 and her friends.

“Hey guys, meet my friend [Future].”

Future, stand-up guy that he is, endures epic shit from the two friends. (Ironically, the friend who was cold to me earlier is now nice to him, and the nice friend turned cold.) I isolate the 9, touch her and carry on a conversation. Like seriously, nothing epic or voodoo, just standard game that I would have run on the 6s or the innocent girl.

I get her number, we text back and forth throughout the night, and now I will try to meet up with her during the week. I would have loved to have pulled her, but this was around midnight and when I went back to talk to her later she was with some different guys. Like I say, I was teaching and students come first.

Couple of key things to take away from this:

--I had to be a bit of a “bad” guy in pawning around other girls. (I got over that shit a long time ago.) This is game, and life isn’t fair. However, I didn’t have to be a dick to do this. All of those other girls were happy to see me later in the night. I just wasn’t too nice as to stick in set with them all night and screw myself over. In the words of Randy from Trailer Park Boys, “A man’s gotta eat.”

--I made an immediate move when the innocent girl gave me an in. There was zero hesitation because my focus was not about gaming her.

--I had a plan for building social proof with this 9. Every other girl I talked to was used in some way to gain social proof with the 9.

--I have a number, but whether or not it turns into a date is another story. This will be good old text game. In a more ideal situation, I would have just tried to isolate her and stick with her until the pull.

--Having a wing bought me just enough time to get the number and job done. I don’t think I could have got her alone without Future.