I want you but I don't need you

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    I want you but I don't need you

    “I want you, with every molecule in my being, but I don’t need you”

    When I first met Future, I recall him resonating those words in seminar – one of a handful of buzzwords and catch phrases I’ve since learned from Love Systems. It’s interesting how these phrases stick out in lecture, and while their importance is understood, they seem to rest in the subconscious mind, oftentimes not fully comprehended at that particular moment.

    A lot has happened since then; I’ve talked to more new girls than I have in any period of time in my life, I’ve hooked up with girls which I would hardly have been able to attempt talking to before, I’ve traveled to cities I probably would have never visited, lectured in countless seminars, and uprooted myself from the comfortable surroundings of sunny-side California.

    In the process, my understanding and perspective of “game” has expanded, deepened and broadened in ways I never thought possible. And at the inflection point when the many many empty nights began to transition into the sweet land of consistency, new issues seemed to spiral into the limelight.

    I found myself more frequently getting into interactions where the bullshit was pushed aside, the proper mirror-neurons were firing off, and what once was a “look at her in this particular way because that’s what she wants,” became more of a “I’m looking at her this way because she’s what I want, and it’s what feels right.” With more regularity than ever before, I began to uncover, and subsequently become truly attracted to the essence of the person I was talking to (or at least the person she was portraying).

    Make no mistake, the game aspect of it is still there, though it seems more to resonate lightly in the background as opposed to screaming up front and center like it used to. Game, for a lack of a better word, has become more “natural.”

    The cause? Could be a number of things… Maybe it’s because my game actually had reached a point where I was able to comfortably vibe with the girls I was talking to (helps when you’re not freaking out about “what to say next”). Perhaps I was fortunate to run into girls I was more compatible with. Or maybe it’s because game reached a point where it was actually fun. Whatever it was, the simple phrase “I want you with every molecule of my being, but I don’t need you,” reached a point where it was more important than ever before.

    Since then, I’ve had sets where the tension has been wound so tightly I’ve been able to mentally visualize a guitar string ready to snap at the slightest flick. In such sets, a combination of subtle looks, dominant leading, push (from her and from me), with the occasional pull, has left me in a state where nothing would make me more content than slamming her against the wall, and ravaging her with ever fiber of my being. Yet, it’s in these moments, and the subsequent moments after, I find myself reciting in my head how I want her, but don’t need her.

    Because the truth of the matter is, no matter how tight the tension is, no matter how often we’re piercing each other with sexy glances, I am many times reminded why logistics are the mother of all fuck-ups. So sometimes it works out, and other times life gets in the way, and what seemed like a “sure thing tonight,” or even a “sure thing next weekend,” fails to materialize.

    People are busy, life is messy, and things – seemingly more so in Manhattan – “come up.” And in these moments, girls are lost.

    So while it might be easy to be hard on yourself in these situations, or to retreat back to knee-jerk mental renditions of “god damn, I’ll never find another girl as sexy as her, or another girl that I’m as attracted to (that’s into me),” realize that as your game continues to improve, a few counter-forces will begin to work against each other:

    1.) The frequency of these moments increase – moments of irritation where it seems you have “lost the girl” (to logistics probably out of your control).

    2.) The gradual realization that you will meet someone who pushes your buttons just as well, if not better, in the near future.

    And on a more scientific level, realize that these initial feelings of intense attraction are merely cerebral chemical reactions – a direct byproduct of the push/pull, which, past an intermediate level of game, plays an integral role in your interactions.

    These points all boil down to the idea that there will be more, just like her, if not better.

    Few inflection points of growth are as important. Most times in your progression through game, lessons are learned about game. Such lessons include not using particular openers in certain situations, when to qualify, when to escalate – areas, of which are all important, and fall under the umbrella of developing “the toolbox.” Other times though, lessons are learned which seem to transcend game, and begin to touch upon areas regarding maturity, self-concept, and overall understanding of the social world.

    This is one of them.

    There’s a level of maturity and self-understanding that is achieved with the idea that pretty girls come and go. Gone are the days where I hung myself up over a particular girl not texting back, or pondered in silent discontent over the thought that I would never run into anyone quite like “her” again. I understand now that sometimes things will work, and sometimes they don’t, but in the end, I’ll find someone else. I realize that the world is a sloppy place, that not all things were meant to be, and most importantly, girls have, and will, slip through my fingers… no matter how tight my game is.

    It all comes full circle. This level of self-understanding in itself fends off symptoms of neediness, and will actually improve your overall game. But above all, freeing yourself from all this potential frustration from the random girls lost (but those that could easily have gone the other way), will bring you to a level of calm, and one step further away from the guy you used to be.


  2. 12-22-2010, 06:39 AM


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