The Mindset of Opening

No matter how “advanced” you are, opening can be a bitch.

In the previous article, I covered one of the most fundamental underlying factors of why one should open. It came down to life being too damn short not to.

Useful value to have? Yes. Such values (i.e. life is too short not to go after what I want), are extremely helpful for keeping you dedicated to the pursuit of your goals. Moreover, such values provide the motivation to keep going out regularly, and to willpower to continually attack the seemingly endless conquest that is “dating science.” This process of linking your goals (be it learning how to pick up women, training for the Olympics, becoming a millionaire etc…) with a higher purpose provides for the foundation for long-term commitment.

But there is a caveat…

In the firefight, it is not so useful. In the firefight, your emotions, not your logic, run the show.

Voices of motivation, such as the one provided "Why Open", are indeed helpful. The problem is: I understand life is too short. I understand I don’t want to regret anything when I’m old. I get all that. But…

When push comes to shove, and I’m in the club, and David Guetta is blasting, and there are 3 platinum blondes across the bar, my logical mind telling me “life is too short, you should go open,” sometimes (oftentimes) isn’t quite enough. And while my logical mind is whispering words of encouragement and motivation, my emotional mind is going haywire screaming “she looks busy,” “she looks like a bitch,” “now’s not a good time… wait a few minutes.”

Take a wild guess which voice seems to be more dominant in this situation…

“PUAs” often scoff that women are emotional creatures driven by their emotions. Well I hate to break it to you, but men are too (and sometimes even more so). Don’t discount for one second the power your emotional brain has. It will knock your logical side the fuck out in a bar fight.

In a club setting, emotions are the driving force behind action and inaction… in both women and men.

So the question stands… how do you utilize your emotional mind to get yourself to open? That is, how do we change the inner dialogue from “she looks like she’s busy, I should wait a few minutes,” to “my God she’s sexy. I must go talk to her right now.” Because that is precisely what you see when you hang out with Braddock… or Mr. M… or Future…. etc… The opening with those guys is instantaneous; a knee-jerk reaction, if you will.

Controlling this voice in your head, and your inner state, that is crucial to early-game mastery. If you are able to control your internal state of mind, I guarantee your results will skyrocket. It is one of the key bridges between a natural and textbook game.

I was discussing this topic with my house mate, Dallas, and he brought up a great analogy. Kudos to him:

Imagine the control of your mental state as an elephant rider riding on top of an elephant. In a club setting, the elephant represents your emotional mind, while the elephant rider represents your logical mind.

As the elephant rider, you can guide the elephant in various directions. However, when push comes to shove, if your emotional mind wanted to go in one direction, the elephant would, in all cases, over power you.

The key is to align the wants of your emotional mind to the agenda of your logical mind.

That is, when you see a pretty girl, if your emotional mind is going “I want that, I must have that” as opposed to “she’s busy, she looks like a bitch, girl s like her don’t like guys like me,” you will open… effortlessly.

It’s easier said than done. Aligning these interests can be tricky. To get you going though, see if you’re happy with yourself when you’re answering the following questions:

When you step into a club full of pretty girls…

- Are you in a mood where you just don’t give a fuck? Where you instantaneously go for what you want without any regard for what other people do or think?
- Are you so in a state where you’re feeling social and happy, and it feels like nothing can bring you down?
- Are you having fun? (Be honest…)
- Does it feel like you’re having a good time, or does it feel like you’re out with an agenda – namely, do you feel like you’re just out hunting?
- Do you feel dominant walking through the club… do you feel sexy? Or is there a layer of uncertainty and anxiety…
- Honest… honestly: Do you feel like you’re a dancing monkey when you’re talking to girls?
- Does your energy explode and do you feel like you’re just working so damn hard to entertain them?
- Do you feel a calm excitedness at the thought of talking to girls?
- What is the first thing that pops into your mind when you see a pretty girl? Do you ask yourself “should I go do it?” or is your emotional mind exploding with “Holy shit, I have to meet her.”

Once you reach the intermediate stage of game, you aren’t not opening because you don’t know what to say. It’s not because you don’t know how to follow-up, and really… “approach anxiety” is just a symptom of a bad state (assuming you’ve cleaned up any sort of limiting beliefs in your inner game). The intermediate to advanced leap in the early-game is about being able to control your emotional mind, and aligning the wants of your emotional mind to the agenda of your logical mind. It’s about being able to get in state… and being able to stay in state.

Sound difficult? Like I said… opening can be a bitch.