Play The Field Before You Settle Down

Most people who study Love Systems eventually want to find that one special girl and settle down. I don’t blame them. What’s so bad about having that one girl you’re in love with and you want to spend time with? Nothing. In fact, I eventually want to settle down too. However, there is a condition attached to that.

Before I settle down with one girl, I want to make sure that I have the most compatible girl and she is someone I can see myself with for a long period of time. Now to get to that point, I first have to know what I want and need in a girl.

This something my buddy Future talks a lot about. Know what you want in a girl. But how do you know what you want in a girl? By dating a lot of different women.

Taste and preferences change over periods of time. One year you might want brunettes, a couple months later you prefer blonds. You want to settle with a girl that you’re physically attracted to (of course). Does hair color play a deciding factor for someone you want to date long-term? Not really. For you to find out what you want and need in a girl long-term you have date a lot of different girls.

By dating I mean seeing a girl for a longer period of time and you have a strong emotional connection with her. That doesn’t mean that you’re girlfriend and boyfriend…but it could heading there.

This is what I’ve learned from having casual relationships (besides the golden rule of friends with benefits). After each girl you date, your column of “want in a girl” and “don’t want in a girl” becomes longer and longer.



For guys who have never dated a girl before, those two columns are based on zero experience. That’s fine. If you’re one of them, make sure that you learn Love Systems and start dating girls (fastest way is to take a bootcamp). For you who have had a couple relationships, this list is probably a couple items long. My advice to you guys is similar: start dating more women.

I want you to be at a point where you know what the dating has to offer and you really know what you want in a girl for a long-term relationship. I remember when Nick Savoy told me how he stopped dating other women and stuck with his current girlfriend. He said: “I know what’s out there and I think I found someone who has it all…” (paraphrased). In fact, he just blogged about that in his post commitmentphobia, choice and relationships.

I can’t stress this enough. The more girls you date, the more you will discover what type of girl you REALLY want. Your wants and needs are based on real (past) experiences. Not something imaginary.

Also by dating more and different types of girls, you can compare girls with each other and figure out what you need to put in your “wants” and “don’t wants” columns.

Let me give you an analogy with car buying. Imagine you’re in a position where money is not an issue and you want to find the perfect car for yourself. What do you do? You’re going to test drive every single car you ever have wanted to get, from Mercedes to Ferrari to Lamborghini and so on.

If you just test drive a bunch of Mercedes cars and think you found the perfect car, you’re wrong. You can’t really say that unless you have tried out all the different brands and models. You might like the steering in a BMW M5 but you like the interior of a Ferrari. So your quest continues until you’ve find that car who has everything you want.

The same ideas applies to find that perfect girl. If you have good Love Systems skills (unlimited money) and want the perfect girl (car) you need to date different types of girls (test drive different cars).

Too many guys nowadays just settle with the first girl they can get. It makes me cringe every single time I see it happening. Most of the time those relationships don’t work out. There’s a reason why divorce rates are so high.

NOTE: One good natural side effect of dating a lot of different girls is that your qualification skills become a lot better over time. You start screening girls better and that’s because you genuinely know what you want in a girl.
All in all, don’t just settle with the first girl you get. Go out, explore the dating pool, and enjoy the journey of finding that one special girl.