My wierd situation

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    My wierd situation

    So I had an LTR for 9 months and we broke up. She wants to be single. Ended a week ago. It hurt, sure, but I was getting over it. I'm at university, and am thus not really concentrating on going out, and women have never really been the top priority for me.

    But the wierdest thing happend. She's telling me how much it hurts. Her friends tell me about how she can't sleep, she cries all the time and can barely eat. She says that she doesn't want a relationship with ANYONE for whatever reason. But she is a wreck without me.

    Me being the soft sap that I am suggested we see each other on a sexual basis. But when we met up 2 days ago she tells me she still loves me, but still wants to be single.

    So I have 3 options:
    a) carry on being FBs until whatever
    b) stop seeing her all together (because FB isn't really what I want, as a man I've decided I want a relationship)
    c) Make her choose between me and being single. But I know she wants to be single, so I think she called call my bluff.

    What should I do and why?

    Note: I would usually judge by what makes me gain or lose self respect, but as women are such a non-issue they don't affect my self respect.



  2. You don't want to be FBs and she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.

    There's only one option - stay split up

    Put your energies into kicking ass on your finals.

  3. #3
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    See that was my first thought.

    But sex and working out do help relax me. Plus if I don't I'll regret not manhandling her wicked hips as much as possible before we inevitably split up completely and for good.

    I'm still undecided at the moment. Any more thoughts?

  4. #4
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    Apr 2009
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    its actually pretty common for girls to go through the things you mentioned. considering you split a week ago, its not surprising that shes behaving this way. ive known plenty of girls who cry, cant sleep, and yes, have a change in appetite after a breakup, its a part of being in a depressed state, which is natural after severing a relationship with someone (esp an LTR of 9 months)

    OF COURSE she still loves you, 9 months of feelings dont go away in a week, unless of course you guys ended over anger or for a big reason (cheating, etc). she wants to be single, so let her.

    A) do NOT try the FB thing right now, the relationship is still waaay too fresh, and you cannot have sex with each other without all the emotions being there. FB's with an ex are best initiated after a few months of no contact

    B) This is your best option, you know what you want, and it's not congruent with what she wants, so accept your differences and make the split permanent

    C) worst option, NEVER give a girl an ultimatum, because she will generally go with the option that isnt in your favor. like you said, SHE WANTS TO BE SINGLE, and you are not part of that equation, so respect her and move on

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by kvision View Post

    C) worst option, NEVER give a girl an ultimatum, because she will generally go with the option that isnt in your favor. like you said, SHE WANTS TO BE SINGLE, and you are not part of that equation, so respect her and move on
    Fucking good point. Ok ultimatum is certainly off the table.

  6. #6
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    Dec 2005
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    It's normal for a girl, especially that age, to be sad after a breakup, even if it was her idea. She's not a wreck without you, she's just sad about the breakup. She'll be fine soon.

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