Don't bail!

When I first got involved with Love Systems, I was pretty hung up on specifics. Approach, open, tease, transition, attract, qualify, build comfort, bounce, seduce. This was the only way it was done.

About a month in I went to a bar in New York city with some of my fellow Love Systems students in an attempt to meet women and get better. I headed over to the bar to get a drink and as I did a really cute girl walked up behind me with a distressed look on her face.

“Everything all right?” I asked.

“I just want a water,” she responded.

I grabbed the bartender’s attention. “Becks for me, and a glass of water for her.”

I handed her the drink. She smiled at me and paused at the bar for a moment, waiting for me to continue the conversation. But I didn’t. In my mind, I had already fucked up. “You NEVER open a girl by being nice to her!” I thought. “You’re supposed to ask her an opinion opener, then tease her! Way to totally ruin that whole set, Big Business! You are such an asshole.”

Looking back I realize how wrong it was, but not just because there are other ways to open besides indirect, and not just because the girl was cute and giving me the eye. I was wrong to bail because bailing is not the way to get good.

Your lesson for today: Don’t bail.

Mistakes can be corrected. Hurdles can be overcome. You don’t get better in this game by trying for one perfect set. You get better by hanging in there, like you are at a rodeo.

If you really want to get good, stay in every set you open and see if you can turn it around. You tease a little too hard? See if you can get them back on your side. You qualify too hard before getting attraction? Try demonstrating some value and getting her to qualify you. Been in the set for 20 minutes and you still haven’t touched her? Start touching her and see if you can still escalate.

Every instructor at LS has stories about incredible sets they turned around. Go out there and get some of those stories yourself.