Runnning out of things to say...?



So youve run through the openers and transitions youve memorised from Magic Bullets, but now the conversation has started to stall. The nerves kick back in as the routines disappear from memory and you're left just staring at her, feeling your heart start to pound as you run out of things to say, and feel the social awkwardness mounting.

Any of this sound familiar?

It would be impossible to memorise enough routines to form an entire conversation, and even if you could, would you want to? Where would be the fun in getting to know a woman if you could pretty much predict everything she was going to say and have an answer waiting.

So how can you practise a conversation, so you will always have something to say, without drying up whilst also sounding interesting and different?

A simple thing you can do is to learn the 'statement - question' system.

This has been taught for a while, but I do get a lot of emails from guys who have gotten the system confused in their heads, so I wanted to write something concrete to refer to.

What not to do

The number one thing you want to avoid, especially in the first 5 minutes or so, of an conversation with a woman its entering 'interview mode' - just bombarding her with dull questions like:

What do you do?
What do you do for fun?
How many pets do you have?
Etc, etc...


This is incredibly boring and the bigger problem is it was in you who started up the conversation, yet you're putting the burden of maintaining the flow of conversation on her. Chances are shes not invested in you enough yet to actually care about maintaining the conversational momentum, so she is not worried about letting it fade out so she can go back to talking to her friends etc.

The statement question system helps avoid getting into 'interview mode' and gives much more life to the interaction.

Statement / Question System - Explained and Examples

The core concept, is - instead of ASKING a question, make a STATEMENT instead.

Your timing and pacing of the statement is important and you should make sure to leave what ever you say 'open ended', i.e. you stop talking letting her her fill in the natural gap with her answer.

You're stopping talking, right at the top arc of the of the flow of conversation which shifts the spotlight of the interaction back onto her, and is her natural social cue to continue talking; allowing the conversation to bounce back and forth like a verbal tennis match.

1) 'So what do you do' could become
YOU: "you have a great sense of style, I bet you do a creative job..."
HER: "yeah, I write for a magazine!"

2) 'What do you do for fun' could become
YOU: "I love [X fun sport/hobby], you look like someone who would try something crazy like that too...
HER: "Well actually I am a paintball marshal on weekends!"

3) 'How many pets do you have?' could become
YOU: "you seem really sweet and caring, I bet you have lots of pets...."
HER: "I have 2 kittens, I love them to bits!"

The great thing, is this is something you can practise. Write down questions you normally ask girls when you first talk to them, and find a way to make them into an open ended statement.

Now, sometimes you will be wrong.

But the great thing about this system is that even if you are wrong, 99% of the time you will have either given her a back handed compliment (as with examples 1 and 3) or have shown something cool about yourself (as with example 2) which she can ask about.

Telling a woman you think she is a writer as she has a great sense of fashion, only to find out shes a lawyer is not a bad thing at all - she will be focusing on the compliment, not laughing at you for getting her job wrong.

As you will have no doubt heard countless times before: anything you can say that relates specifically to her, right then, in that moment will only gain you more attraction, as she knows you're being genuine.

-5.0