Tenmagnet Q&A

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  1. #1
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    Tenmagnet Q&A

    Ask me anything, go ahead.


    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    OK cool, 3 questions. Sometimes I feel like an idiot because I get hung up on simple stuff in some areas, whereas I've gone on to more advanced stuff in other areas.

    1. What should I do when I'm midway in my opener, but the set tries to grab the topic and inject their own thoughts or a completely unrelated topic that is not useful for the frame I'm setting? I'm thinking just cut the thread and stack forward, but I'm not really sure.

    2. How do you calibrate for females who seem to have low interest and body temperature, but are interested? I had a set recently where the girl wouldn't really even give a high five. I'd tease her and she would just agree, and over all didn't seen very interested. However, later in the set she ends up giving me a hand job on the sly.

    3. Opened a three 3 set and got the two non-targets interested, but the target is supposedly married. I eject. So, I plan on reopening the set later when they are seated at the next table from my friends and I. I just talked to my friends a little louder than normal working in DHVs so the 3 set can over hear. It seemed to work getting their interest. My question is does it become an issue with the original girl if I reopen the set making one of the other girls my new target and how does this effect the dynamic in the way you're dealing with the original target?
    I’m an author, traveler, and movie addict.

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    What's your views on cheating?

    Can you tell me few neggs to use when a woman is being silent?

    Thanks
    Pour some sugar on me...

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    1. What should I do when I'm midway in my opener, but the set tries to grab the topic and inject their own thoughts or a completely unrelated topic that is not useful for the frame I'm setting? I'm thinking just cut the thread and stack forward, but I'm not really sure.
    Usually this is a good sign - the purpose of an opener is to engage a woman in conversation, so if she starts engaging you, just stack forward.

    The only exception to this would be if she's engaging you with something that kind of tools you (where did you get that shirt), in which case you would tease her back. Still, I'll almost always cut the opener off.

    2. How do you calibrate for females who seem to have low interest and body temperature, but are interested? I had a set recently where the girl wouldn't really even give a high five. I'd tease her and she would just agree, and over all didn't seen very interested. However, later in the set she ends up giving me a hand job on the sly.
    Asian girls do this all the time.

    What I usually do is be really discrete - I'll say a few sexual things, and maybe a bit of sexual/romantic kino when people aren't looking, but otherwise I'm just going to try and get 1 on 1 with the woman in question.

    3. Opened a three 3 set and got the two non-targets interested, but the target is supposedly married. I eject. So, I plan on reopening the set later when they are seated at the next table from my friends and I. I just talked to my friends a little louder than normal working in DHVs so the 3 set can over hear. It seemed to work getting their interest. My question is does it become an issue with the original girl if I reopen the set making one of the other girls my new target and how does this effect the dynamic in the way you're dealing with the original target?
    Generally speaking, if you're only FLIRTING and in flirty kino, you can change targets and it's not a big deal. If you've been getting romantic, either with words or with kino, jealousy or player vibe can pop up. Seems like you shouldn't have a problem in this case.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    What's your views on cheating?
    I disapprove of it, which is why I usually have open relationships.

    Can you tell me few neggs to use when a woman is being silent?
    You're pretty quiet, aren't you. <look at her like she's weird>
    Does this girl talk?
    I see, the strong silent type.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    Cool thread, I'll think of a question soon. If you don't mind would you also try and fit in examples of how you would actually handle it/what you would say. Like with the asian girl and the discrete sexual stuff...not that we want to copy word for word but it just gives a better idea of what kind of vibe you're setting which really helps.
    Everyones an expert--few are experienced.

    Best worst quotes:
    Quote Originally Posted by Ackustic View Post
    Immediately i started spittin negs at her, and repeated this routine for probably 5 minutes
    Quote Originally Posted by HoNLeX View Post
    I don't know what you read in Magic Bullets, I don't really care. I also don't care what the best PUAs in the world say about this subject

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    How do you keep a open relationship going?

    How do you deal with when you run out of things to say At least the few times that happened in the past?
    Pour some sugar on me...

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    Hey Tenmagnet,

    I have read all the stickies on social circle game and understand that it is slow burn game. My question is how do you get her out for a 1-on-1 hangout, not with your friends or other girls? I do fine in my social circle. I am funny, people respect me, I respect others, and I get the numbers and MSNs from the girls easily. But this really bothers me. I have never done social circle game before and what would be a good way to get her to hangout with you alone?

    My second question is about loud venues. I am going to Frequency tonight; I don't know if you have ever been there but I gotta say it's definitely the loudest club I have ever been to. It's because of the design. It's a fucking square. My voice projection and tonality are solid but at this club you have to repeat everything you say like 5 times for the set to hear it. I find club game easy overall but repeating yourself 5 times kills the vibe and it becomes hard to sustain the momentum. Any tips on getting past that? Thanks.
    You should read the stickies and (by popular demand) 'Classic Writings'; it's not that hard and saves everyone time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Basically Yes View Post
    Cool thread, I'll think of a question soon. If you don't mind would you also try and fit in examples of how you would actually handle it/what you would say. Like with the asian girl and the discrete sexual stuff...not that we want to copy word for word but it just gives a better idea of what kind of vibe you're setting which really helps.
    W/respect to women who want to be discrete, I don't really do ANYTHING. As soon as I know they want to hook up with me but really want to be discrete, I just wink, act like an AFC, do a bit of kino when people aren't looking and try to get them alone. It's really pretty simple.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    I was discussing with a friend about scene conversion in girls. What I mean is when u meet girls from other scenes (emo, rock, rave etc) but are beautiful and interesting (after you talked to them for a bit) and you are not willing to change your scene (of course) do you try to suck her in your reality or you try to find a middle ground? Had any experience with this?

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    Ok cool, let me see what your take on this is. I was gonna do a thread but since there's a pro here, and this ties into phone game which I've heard you're good at:

    Did some day gaming in London last week, went direct on a very cute redhead, ended up meeting with her a couple days ago at a bar with some friends, friends knew the deal and left us alone, we talked for a couple hours then ended up making out for like 30 minutes solid. At times we were just staring into each other's eyes for like 5 minutes without talking... anyone else at the bar might've thought we were actually in love, haha. I'm thinking I probably should've pushed her away more instead of just going with it, anyway I tried calling her the past couple days with no answer. So far I've just left a message on her phone saying "hey it's me, call me back..." should I keep calling every day or just drop it? I'm wondering if I hit buyer's remorse by just getting it too heavy and kind of emotional on a day2. I'm actually moving to Russia on Wednesday so there is a genuine time constraint.

    Of course, I'm still going out gaming tomorrow. Can't get too wrapped up in one flakey girl... but I did really like this one.

    Anyway, the Russia thing leads me to the next question: my Russian is pretty mediocre, I can just about keep up a conversation at a basic level. Within a few months living there it'll be a lot better but, if you don't speak the girl's language too well, how do you go about it?

    Looking forward to the Russian hotties.
    I'm spending a year in Russia, working my way into the hearts, minds, and legs of the local women! Check out my Russian field reports thread:

    http://www.theattractionforums.com/field-reports/103602-slings-adventures-russia.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Prosp3ct View Post
    How do you keep a open relationship going?

    How do you deal with when you run out of things to say At least the few times that happened in the past?
    How do you keep an open relationship going?

    1 - Always be alpha: You really need to have a lot of confidence and have your stuff together to keep an open relationship.

    2 - Make sure she feels respected: An open relationship isn't a permit to be a dink or a bad boyfriend or to be selfish. If anything, you need to be more of a good partner in an open relationship.

    3 - Act like it's normal: Treat an open relationship like it's normal, and it will feel normal.

    4 - Don't let her lose face: She might be cool with an open relationship, but her friends probably won't be. Always make sure to make her look good in front of her friends.

    ^^^ this is totally incomplete, but it's the best advice I can give in 2 minutes.

    As for running out of things to say - you never actually run out of things to say, you only run out of things to say that are "good enough". And it's this idea of "good enough" that is screwing you up. So some quick tips.

    1 - Stop trying to think of the "right" thing to say - just say what's on your mind. Don't worry if it's dumb - most conversations are pretty dumb anyways.

    2 - Enjoy the silence - you don't have to be talking all the time. Let her hold up her end of the conversation. Just try to give off a vibe that you're at ease with the silence.

    3 - Use a non-sequetor - Conversation doesn't always have to flow easily from one topic to another. Think up a good story and say "hey, want to hear my boxing story"... it's not elegant, but shouldn't be a deal killer.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    Did some day gaming in London last week, went direct on a very cute redhead, ended up meeting with her a couple days ago at a bar with some friends, friends knew the deal and left us alone, we talked for a couple hours then ended up making out for like 30 minutes solid. At times we were just staring into each other's eyes for like 5 minutes without talking... anyone else at the bar might've thought we were actually in love, haha. I'm thinking I probably should've pushed her away more instead of just going with it, anyway I tried calling her the past couple days with no answer. So far I've just left a message on her phone saying "hey it's me, call me back..." should I keep calling every day or just drop it? I'm wondering if I hit buyer's remorse by just getting it too heavy and kind of emotional on a day2. I'm actually moving to Russia on Wednesday so there is a genuine time constraint.
    First of all

    1) If you're going to get a girls number, it's actually EASIER to get her to answer the phone if you don't make out with her or get too sexual.

    2) Your answering machine message was crap. Ignore people who advocate that kind of phone game, it doesn't work at all.

    3) Leave her a voice message with the same tone that you talked to her the night you met. She likes you, so just say something normal and sincere, but not needy. "Hey, it's <name>... I just called because I want to talk to you... I'm going off to <cool thing> but I'll call you again when I get back".


    Anyway, the Russia thing leads me to the next question: my Russian is pretty mediocre, I can just about keep up a conversation at a basic level. Within a few months living there it'll be a lot better but, if you don't speak the girl's language too well, how do you go about it?
    Lots of facial expressions, teaching her english, and using pidgin Russian. I have picked up many Spanish and Quebecios French women using my terrible French and Spanish abilities. It's not really that hard, the hard part is just keeping a smile and talking long enough for things to happen. Your conversations will be very child like and boring, but you can still make it happen.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    Quote Originally Posted by silverghost View Post
    I was discussing with a friend about scene conversion in girls. What I mean is when u meet girls from other scenes (emo, rock, rave etc) but are beautiful and interesting (after you talked to them for a bit) and you are not willing to change your scene (of course) do you try to suck her in your reality or you try to find a middle ground? Had any experience with this?
    Usually this doesn't matter as much as people think. If a woman likes you, it doesn't really matter what scene you're both in.

    Usually, I'll try to expose a girl to my scene, and at least make sure that she sees it, and experiences it. So I'll take her to a indie music show and introduce her around. But in the end, how into the indie scene she gets is entirely up to her, I don't really care one way or another, as long as she's OPEN to my scene, and respects it. And I don't have a problem with going to her hip hop shows either, but I'm not going to start going to them on a regular basis.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tenmagnet View Post
    Usually this doesn't matter as much as people think. If a woman likes you, it doesn't really matter what scene you're both in.

    Usually, I'll try to expose a girl to my scene, and at least make sure that she sees it, and experiences it. So I'll take her to a indie music show and introduce her around. But in the end, how into the indie scene she gets is entirely up to her, I don't really care one way or another, as long as she's OPEN to my scene, and respects it. And I don't have a problem with going to her hip hop shows either, but I'm not going to start going to them on a regular basis.
    Great stuff thanks. Also props for the Q&A, forgot it earlier.

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    TM, did you forget my question(s)? Thanks.
    You should read the stickies and (by popular demand) 'Classic Writings'; it's not that hard and saves everyone time.

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    hey im fairly new to all this so i have a bunch of questions running through my head, but ill just stick to the most important one.
    When i do go out and open sets i usually am very direct and i actually end up getting the number, but a lot of the time we never end up meeting up or sometimes they dont even answer the phone.
    example:
    I was walking through the mall and i see a girl standing next to pacsun waiting for someone, so i opened direct and asked what she was up to. she was waiting for her mom and sister to finish in the store, so i said my friends do the exact same thing, promise to go in for 5 minutes and come out in an hour, all in a girly voice like role playing. we talked about nationalities for a bit and throughout the entire interaction she seemed very comfortable and laughing nonstop, i was also kinoing and she was responding well so i was sure it would be a solid number. i told her to put her number in and said were gonna hang out sometime (which now i know was a mistake, shouldve been more specific). She never ended up answering when i called, i left a message hey its RR i was just calling to talk for a bit im gonna be busy the next few days but try to catch me, bye. never got a reply. Do you have any clue as to what might have gone wrong?

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    Often times I meet a girl and it goes well we date for a little then it goes downhill and I lose her... What am I doing wrong. or not doing

    http://www.theattractionforums.com/d...ning-into.html

    thanks so much!

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    I have read all the stickies on social circle game and understand that it is slow burn game. My question is how do you get her out for a 1-on-1 hangout, not with your friends or other girls? I do fine in my social circle. I am funny, people respect me, I respect others, and I get the numbers and MSNs from the girls easily. But this really bothers me. I have never done social circle game before and what would be a good way to get her to hangout with you alone?
    Hey man, sorry I didn't answer your question earlier, I accidentally skipped it.

    If you've built some attraction with her, she should be eager to get alone with you. So just invite her out to something chilled or last minute. Don't worry about being awkward - if the attraction is there, it won't matter.


    My second question is about loud venues. I am going to Frequency tonight; I don't know if you have ever been there but I gotta say it's definitely the loudest club I have ever been to. It's because of the design. It's a fucking square. My voice projection and tonality are solid but at this club you have to repeat everything you say like 5 times for the set to hear it. I find club game easy overall but repeating yourself 5 times kills the vibe and it becomes hard to sustain the momentum. Any tips on getting past that? Thanks.
    There are a lot of clubs out there that are terrible for picking up women. They're designed to make you feel insecure and feel like you need bottle service to have any chance with women.

    Solution: Either get bottle service or go to a better club.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Royal Red View Post
    I was walking through the mall and i see a girl standing next to pacsun waiting for someone, so i opened direct and asked what she was up to. she was waiting for her mom and sister to finish in the store, so i said my friends do the exact same thing, promise to go in for 5 minutes and come out in an hour, all in a girly voice like role playing. we talked about nationalities for a bit and throughout the entire interaction she seemed very comfortable and laughing nonstop, i was also kinoing and she was responding well so i was sure it would be a solid number. i told her to put her number in and said were gonna hang out sometime (which now i know was a mistake, shouldve been more specific). She never ended up answering when i called, i left a message hey its RR i was just calling to talk for a bit im gonna be busy the next few days but try to catch me, bye. never got a reply. Do you have any clue as to what might have gone wrong?
    Have you ever had the number of a girl you liked, but you felt a bit uncomfortable calling her, or you didn't know what to say, so maybe you put off calling her, and the next thing you know it's 5 days later and now you feel like it's too late to call her back?

    Women do that too. In fact, they do that a lot. Which is why you should NEVER tell a woman to "call you back". They often don't, even if they like you. This is doubly true if you just got a quick 5 minute number close.

    So call her again and don't be gamey or play hard to get.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    Quote Originally Posted by lucaluca View Post
    Often times I meet a girl and it goes well we date for a little then it goes downhill and I lose her... What am I doing wrong. or not doing

    http://www.theattractionforums.com/d...ning-into.html

    thanks so much!
    You need to make a move WAY earlier. Read the 7 hour rule chapter in Magic Bullets.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    What's your technique to approach women who are on their cellphones? thx
    “On the Road of Life, There's Always Another Bus”

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigDuke6 View Post
    What's your technique to approach women who are on their cellphones? thx
    Wait for them to get off their cellphones.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tenmagnet View Post
    You need to make a move WAY earlier. Read the 7 hour rule chapter in Magic Bullets.
    Okay I'll remember that. What can I do to recover from these situations.

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    Okay I'll remember that. What can I do to recover from these situations.
    Just don't screw up in the first place. There honestly isn't a really good, reliable way out of the "friends zone". Cajun's question game is pretty good, but I don't think he posts that online.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    What's a good way of determining whether a girl is ready to kiss you or not?
    "You want to be a PUA? Think. What do PUAs do? That's right! They PICKUP. And ... where do they PICKUP? Not at home. Get out of the fucking house. Get into the field. Get sets under your belt. You are either a PICKUP ARTIST or an EXCUSE ARTIST. Which are you?"

    -Mystery

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    What's a good way of determining whether a girl is ready to kiss you or not?
    If you're in romantic kino (aka, hand holding) and you're in a place where you're not going to get ASD issues - a place that's private and comfortable.

    If you have both of those things, go for it.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    Thanks so much tenmagnet!!
    I look forward to one day taking a bootcamp with you when I can afford it.

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    I also wanted to know when you kiss a girl for the first time do you keep it fun and playful or romantic and deep?
    "You want to be a PUA? Think. What do PUAs do? That's right! They PICKUP. And ... where do they PICKUP? Not at home. Get out of the fucking house. Get into the field. Get sets under your belt. You are either a PICKUP ARTIST or an EXCUSE ARTIST. Which are you?"

    -Mystery

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tenmagnet View Post
    Ask me anything, go ahead.
    Mr Tenmagnet, sorry to be a bother.

    i have a question for you.....
    Ive recently seen a picture of you, and i must say your hair was looking extravagent..

    is there any special shampoo you use? x

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aventine View Post
    I also wanted to know when you kiss a girl for the first time do you keep it fun and playful or romantic and deep?
    Make it good... the first kiss is a big deal, if you do it properly you can create a lot of attraction and seal the deal. If you do it badly, you can hurt attraction.

    That said, I'll usually leave her wanting more, so I might pull away playfully. But the kiss itself will be as kick ass and passionate as I can do.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chrislalala View Post
    Mr Tenmagnet, sorry to be a bother.

    i have a question for you.....
    Ive recently seen a picture of you, and i must say your hair was looking extravagent..

    is there any special shampoo you use? x
    Just lather, rinse, repeat my son.
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    OK another question on open relationships. I am seeing a girl who is very into me and I made it clear that I don't do serious/exclusive relationships and she says she's cool with that. BUT, she wants to hang out every day. Also she asks questions like "have you slept with anyone since we started seeing eachother?"... at this point the answer was no, but now the answer is yes, and I'm thinking if she asks again I'll just respond with "do you really want to know the answer?"

    Also this girl is very attractive and used to being chased and men being putty in her hands. So you get the overall vibe. I took all the advice you listed in the other reply about open relationships, but this girl is the type that would get pissed off if she knew I was seeing someone else (which I am now) but not confront me on the actual issue, she'd just get moody and cold, more of a passive aggressive type. My question is; should I come out and tell her I'm seeing other girls, or should I just wait till it comes up? What is the best way to frame this to the girl (like what to actually say to her so she gets the idea)? For now I can deal with her questioning, it's more of an issue of what to tell her when I want to spend the night with another girl. I think hurting her feelings will be inevitable, which I hate, but it's much better than being dishonest.

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    On social circle game, how do you stand out from the group (besides the whole "be alpha" crap)?

    And how do you make the move on the girl you like (from the social circle) without looking desperate?

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    Hey Tenmagnet,

    First of all thanks for doing this. I have a few questions.

    1) Right now I am going out about 3-4 times a week, doing day game and night game. Sometimes it feels like a chore. Especially day game. How can I be motivated to approach, instead of just approaching for the sake of approaching (I set a certain # of approaches I have to do )

    2) For night game. If the group doesn't like me right away, and open up, the set goes to the toilet pretty fast. Any tips on how to handle sets that don't give you much to work with and don't invest? Should I just plow with routines till they start saying something?

    Thanks!

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    Quote Originally Posted by mycer View Post
    OK another question on open relationships. I am seeing a girl who is very into me and I made it clear that I don't do serious/exclusive relationships and she says she's cool with that. BUT, she wants to hang out every day. Also she asks questions like "have you slept with anyone since we started seeing eachother?"... at this point the answer was no, but now the answer is yes, and I'm thinking if she asks again I'll just respond with "do you really want to know the answer?"

    Also this girl is very attractive and used to being chased and men being putty in her hands. So you get the overall vibe. I took all the advice you listed in the other reply about open relationships, but this girl is the type that would get pissed off if she knew I was seeing someone else (which I am now) but not confront me on the actual issue, she'd just get moody and cold, more of a passive aggressive type. My question is; should I come out and tell her I'm seeing other girls, or should I just wait till it comes up? What is the best way to frame this to the girl (like what to actually say to her so she gets the idea)? For now I can deal with her questioning, it's more of an issue of what to tell her when I want to spend the night with another girl. I think hurting her feelings will be inevitable, which I hate, but it's much better than being dishonest.
    When she wants to hang out all the time: Learn to say NO to a woman. Women will often ask for more from you than you're willing to give, you NEED to learn how to set your boundaries. It will make both of you happier in the long run. I just tell women, I'm busy, with no elaboration.

    To the second question - if your girl is the passive aggressive type, you're going to have problems in an open relationship. Tell her it's none of her business. She'll probably pout and then be OK with it.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fedor View Post
    On social circle game, how do you stand out from the group (besides the whole "be alpha" crap)?
    That's like saying "how do you get stronger without all that exercise crap". You don't. Being alpha, in the big picture sense of being a strong guy with leadership skills, is exactly how you stand out from the group.

    And how do you make the move on the girl you like (from the social circle) without looking desperate?
    If you're alpha, you won't look desperate. Also, you need to get your girl 1 on 1. But you can show attraction and desire without showing needyness or despiration - it's a matter of communicating an abundance mindset (one of the main alpha traits) at the same time.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    something I've noticed with the past 3 girls I've met is they turn off as soon as I mention I have a girlfriend...


    like I met this waitress at a sushi bar and she # closed me, we texted later that night and the next day and I just subtly mentioned something about something my girlfriend said and changed topics, 2 texts later she never responded..

    next day, next girl was a girl I had in class, I saw her sitting outside and went to talk to her and we had a nice conversation, she was sending good vibes then I got a call from my girlfriend and I took it and talked to her for about 5 minutes while she was changing classes and the other girl just shut off.. and the next day she was cold as well, nice but not like the previous

    girl #3 i met the next day and we were having fun in conversation and talking and she was giving me verbal and non verbal ioi's .. i very lightly mention my gf and how she went on a cruise so i booked one and about 3 minutes later the chick decided it was time to go.. but i could tell she wanted me to get her number or at least invite her to lunch, so she didn't shut off as cold as the other 2 but still there was a vibe change


    now I'm very clear not to flirt sexually, I don't build kino or imply any sexual tension .. its all framed like "you're a cool person, lets be friends" ... idk whats going on after I mention that i am in a relationship though.. thanks for your advice

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    What in your opinion are the most important things to do/say to build comfort the fastest with a girl you just opened?

    Openers, facial expressions, tonality, touching, conversation topics etc.

    thanks
    Everyones an expert--few are experienced.

    Best worst quotes:
    Quote Originally Posted by Ackustic View Post
    Immediately i started spittin negs at her, and repeated this routine for probably 5 minutes
    Quote Originally Posted by HoNLeX View Post
    I don't know what you read in Magic Bullets, I don't really care. I also don't care what the best PUAs in the world say about this subject

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tenmagnet View Post
    Make it good... the first kiss is a big deal, if you do it properly you can create a lot of attraction and seal the deal. If you do it badly, you can hurt attraction.

    That said, I'll usually leave her wanting more, so I might pull away playfully. But the kiss itself will be as kick ass and passionate as I can do.
    I recently had a bad first kiss, really bad to quote 'felt like my brother' . Can it be recovered after a bad first kiss?

    What is a good reply to when you're talking to a girl and her ugly friend comes up, puts her arm around the girl, looks at you and says "are you hitting on my girl?"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tenmagnet View Post
    When she wants to hang out all the time: Learn to say NO to a woman. Women will often ask for more from you than you're willing to give, you NEED to learn how to set your boundaries. It will make both of you happier in the long run. I just tell women, I'm busy, with no elaboration.

    To the second question - if your girl is the passive aggressive type, you're going to have problems in an open relationship. Tell her it's none of her business. She'll probably pout and then be OK with it.
    Thanks! Great advice exactly what I needed to hear.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bagky View Post
    I recently had a bad first kiss, really bad to quote 'felt like my brother' . Can it be recovered after a bad first kiss?

    What is a good reply to when you're talking to a girl and her ugly friend comes up, puts her arm around the girl, looks at you and says "are you hitting on my girl?"
    Lol, that's a pretty funny thing for a girl to say. How many times has she kissed her brother?

    Are you sure she wasn't joking/messing with you?

    Anyways, the best thing to do in that situation would be to say "that sucked, let's try again" and do it better. The worst thing to do, in any situation, is to get self-conscious and awkward.

    As for a good reply to "are you hitting on my girl", there are a lot of things you could say.

    "Yes, now leave us alone"
    "Hi, I'm Tenmagnet"

    The key is to not get frazzled by these things, they're shit tests, and they're meaningless. As long as you don't say anything stupid, you can say pretty much anything you want as long as you say it with poise and confidence.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    Hey Tenmagnet,

    Question 1! - Lately I've been finding myself living a "Dual life" - When I sarge with guys from the Ottawa Lair I feel like a completely different person. Sets blow open, I close often. However, when I'm out with my AFC friends it's a completely different story. I can just FEEL that my subcommunication is exuding "chode". Obviously that's a snowball effect ... and the fact that I feel thrown off is feeding back into it. Any tips for getting rid of it?

    Question 2! - Routine based game works well for me, it's one of the reasons I continue to visit these forums. However, I feel that on some level routines are helping me to emulate high value behavior rather than completely embody it. I understand that routines are only a vehicle to display your personality / energy - but I can't shake the feeling that some part of me is "putting on a show" when I go into set with the intention of using routine-game. I know some of the best guys on the planet are using this stuff - hearing your thoughts on it would be awesome.


    Thanks a lot for the thread, stuff like this is why I keep coming back to LS!!
    “There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them.”

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    What is the best way to acclimate to approaching regularly?

  45. #45
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    Hey Tenmagnet,

    Question 1! - Lately I've been finding myself living a "Dual life" - When I sarge with guys from the Ottawa Lair I feel like a completely different person. Sets blow open, I close often. However, when I'm out with my AFC friends it's a completely different story. I can just FEEL that my subcommunication is exuding "chode". Obviously that's a snowball effect ... and the fact that I feel thrown off is feeding back into it. Any tips for getting rid of it?
    It'll come with time... but try and make sure to keep the energy level up with your buddies. Another thing I like to do is visualize like I own the bar... I survey the room and think of how much money I'm making, and how cool it is that so many people are having fun at MY bar. That visualization often puts me in the right kind of mood.

    Question 2! - Routine based game works well for me, it's one of the reasons I continue to visit these forums. However, I feel that on some level routines are helping me to emulate high value behavior rather than completely embody it. I understand that routines are only a vehicle to display your personality / energy - but I can't shake the feeling that some part of me is "putting on a show" when I go into set with the intention of using routine-game. I know some of the best guys on the planet are using this stuff - hearing your thoughts on it would be awesome.
    So start developing routines about your real life - I REALLY recommend that. There's nothing magical about the routines we provide you, once you have the basics down, you can totally create your own and they'll work a lot better for you.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    Hey Tenmagnet,

    Is there any difference between a cold-approach and college game?

    Should I just do the same thing by running routines and what not (obviously not something creepy or stupid) but wouldn't it be weird running the same routines on different girls in college or would that not matter?

    Are there any huge differences between regular game and college game?


    Thanks a lot!

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    Quote Originally Posted by ReaLisT View Post
    Hey Tenmagnet,

    Is there any difference between a cold-approach and college game?

    Should I just do the same thing by running routines and what not (obviously not something creepy or stupid) but wouldn't it be weird running the same routines on different girls in college or would that not matter?

    Are there any huge differences between regular game and college game?


    Thanks a lot!
    You don't want to be running lots of routines and openers in College. You'll start developing a bad reputation if you do that. That said, comfort routines, the question game, etc, are all things you can do in college game, no problem.

    College game is basically the same as social circle game, which Braddock and Mr. M are experts on.
    Tenmagnet (Chris Shepherd)
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    I think my question got lost in the mix:

    Quote Originally Posted by Basically Yes View Post
    What in your opinion are the most important things to do/say to build comfort the fastest with a girl you just opened?

    Openers, facial expressions, tonality, touching, conversation topics etc.

    thanks
    Everyones an expert--few are experienced.

    Best worst quotes:
    Quote Originally Posted by Ackustic View Post
    Immediately i started spittin negs at her, and repeated this routine for probably 5 minutes
    Quote Originally Posted by HoNLeX View Post
    I don't know what you read in Magic Bullets, I don't really care. I also don't care what the best PUAs in the world say about this subject

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    can u answer post #44? Its short so u prob missed it lol. I'm about baby steps!

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    Hi Tenmagnet. 2 questions from me:

    1) Whenever I do a direct approach (i.e. I know it's a bit random, but I just saw you walking by and I would kick myself all day if I didn't come say hi. I think u look stunning!), and then do a typical transition like... 'so what's going on for you today?' or 'what's the occasion?'... and sometimes they would respond with, 'oh nothing much, just hanging out, etc.' These are situations where I'd be at a loss for what to say. What would you advice?


    2. Sometimes I'd sarge alone on the streets and I'd see 2-sets, 3-sets or even bigger ones. How should my body language be if I choose to do an indirect opener?


    thanks man!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by AnacondaMMA View Post
    What is the best way to acclimate to approaching regularly?
    Throw yourself in head first. I would say 1 set a day, followed by 7-10 sets thursday-sunday for a few weeks. This is one of those things that you really need to power through, the slow method doesn't work too well.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Basically Yes View Post
    I think my question got lost in the mix:

    View Post
    What in your opinion are the most important things to do/say to build comfort the fastest with a girl you just opened?

    Openers, facial expressions, tonality, touching, conversation topics etc.
    I can't really answer the question as stated.

    When you just open, the things you need to do to create comfort are mostly body language and tonality oriented. It's the "vibe" you give off that will make her feel at ease with you at first. Thinks like locking in, and Cajun's bodylanguage post (on his blog) are really useful advice.

    But when you're actually talking about creating deep comfort, the sort that comes up after a few minutes of , that's all about your conversation topics.
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    Quote Originally Posted by windel View Post
    Hi Tenmagnet. 2 questions from me:

    1) Whenever I do a direct approach (i.e. I know it's a bit random, but I just saw you walking by and I would kick myself all day if I didn't come say hi. I think u look stunning!), and then do a typical transition like... 'so what's going on for you today?' or 'what's the occasion?'... and sometimes they would respond with, 'oh nothing much, just hanging out, etc.' These are situations where I'd be at a loss for what to say. What would you advice?


    2. Sometimes I'd sarge alone on the streets and I'd see 2-sets, 3-sets or even bigger ones. How should my body language be if I choose to do an indirect opener?


    thanks man!!!
    You can't open direct and then just go into asking questions - or if you do, they need to be qualifying questions that you can create a conversation out of.

    So, you might say "You have a nice style, are you the creative type?"

    "Well, yeah..."

    "Nice... I'm a bit of a musician myself, though not professional. I actually just came from a show....."

    YOU need to carry the conversation, don't just put the weight on her shoulder.s.

    Q2 - It really depends on the situation... but pretty much same as in a club.
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    Alright guys... that's it for this thread, hope you liked it.
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