View Full Version : Gave me # then mentioned boyfriend after

07-09-2009, 08:24 PM
Talked with a girl for an hour and a half at least over 4th of July; actually more like me and my buddy talking to these two chicks but at the end we walked alone a bit. But anyway I asked for the number and she gave it.

Then I waited a few days and texted her and after 20 text exchanges or so I just asked her when she was leaving for college again.

She said August 10th to which I replied we will have to get together before then but I will let you go tonight.

---Her response was "i don't think that will go over too well with the boyfriend"

Me: So your bf doesn't allow you to go out with friends?
Her: Ya he does just not guys he doesn't know.
Me: Well I can just stop talking to you if your afraid it will make your boyfriend mad.

She never texted back and either have I. Have not spoken in a few days.

----My "gut" is she has no frickin boyfriend. She wouldn't have wasted her time. But I don't know how to get the girl to go on a date now.

I just don't know if she does have one or if it is a shit test.

Any suggestions??

07-09-2009, 08:35 PM
Any suggestions??

To me it seems like you've lost some momentum.

Suggestion: find some more hoes and don't drop the ball next time :)

07-10-2009, 01:19 PM
Yeah I think you made a mistake by waiting days to contact her. A good rule of thumb is to get the ball rolling as soon as possible

07-11-2009, 04:25 PM
I'd personally try to meet up with her one more time then leave it at that and move on. If she says her boyfriend won't let her then I don't know how to respond to that. If she says shes busy then immediately suggest another day/time or ask her when shes free. Thats just my personal opinion on it anyways, good luck.

07-11-2009, 08:31 PM
You asked when she was going back to college. That's thin ice because there is a fine line that is easily crossed that will make you seem needy.

You then crossed that line by saying *We have to get together*. By saying you HAVE to
get together you need her. You basically gave her all of the power because it appears that you will get more out of the date than she does.

Also you said..*I will let you go for tonite*. That is a sign of desperation. She didn't even tell you if she had plans. You basically told her that you have no problem being number 2. It's like..."Go out and if you don't have fun and you cant find anyone..I will still be here waiting for you.

Then she brings up her boyfriend because she now knows she can make you jump through hoops. She was basically asserting the fact that she has a higher social value and she is the one calling the shots in this relationship. She wants you to try and convince her to see you anyway...but its all BS.

There are key words you dont want to use with women because their communication skills are more developed than ours. They read between the lines and look at various words as synonyms in situations where we don't.

I know this is very likely going to be Flamed but I got a lot of numbers as a teenager that fell through. I later just got an F-it mentality. I don't take numbers anymore when I first meet a girl. If she wants to exchange numbers...I just turn hers down..Give her mine and tell her to call me sometime and if she doesnt thats cool too..its whatever.
I literally say *Call me sometime..if you dont thats cool too..its whatever*.

That way I've shown that I must have plenty of options. I've also given her some assurance that I wont invade her personal space. Women's minds wonder. She will actually think about you and the options you seem to have and be jealous of a woman that doesnt even exist. That can really motivate her to see you and win you over.

07-12-2009, 11:23 AM
I waited two days after that and texted her.

Her: Not n e more
Me: If you sincerely have a bf I will stop because I believe that is wrong.
Her: I do have a bf I wasn't kidding.
Me: Sorry.
Me. Next time don't give out your # and respect your boyfriend.
Her: Fuck off

---So it wasn't a shit test. The way she worded it "I'm not sure that would go over too well with the boyfriend" was tricky. She could have just said I'm in a relationship. I am not single. Or texted me back and said don't talk to me anymore. I had left it open ended if I would text her back since she has a bf and she never responded.

She also goes to college far away and I figured wanted to see how bad I wanted her or if I would go for something easier.

---I showed the ability to walk away when she brought up her boyfriend the first time and I didn't get upset so I don't think I showed too much desperation.

It might of been just to see if I would ask her out for her ego and then turn me down.

07-12-2009, 05:28 PM
I once worked with a woman and she flirted everyday for over a month.
I had to find out from someone else she was married.

anyways...you kept indicating interest as you kept talking....
You dont say "I will leave" and stay. She knows you are just waiting for her.
That's a sign of desperation. I AM NOT trying to call you desperate in any way.
Im just saying that women hear totally different things sometimes because we
communicate differently.

Try this sometime. If youre dating a woman...treat her well..but when she tests your frame..(they always do)...dont argue with her..just leave. Dont say a word.

Apathy keeps women honest. You could have said you dont deal with women that have bf's and that would force her to redeem herself. She already knew u were into her..so by saying that she'd have to chase you. The other option is being cocky enough to say screw your boyfriend. That would include things like ..

her: I dont think that would go over well with my boyfriend
you: I dont think you being all over me would go over well with him either
[now u can go into teasing about her being a rebel..and go right into taboo]

her: I dont think that....
you: Whatever..(change the subject and pretend it never happened)

her: I dont think that....
you: Well when you get tired of doing what ur bf tells you do..[blah blah blah]
(tease her) *Does he pick out your socks too?* ..(if shes not wearing socks..*I guess he told you not to wear socks today*...*you struck me as a woman that does what SHE wants to do..thats a shame..you were gettin somewhere too*

you have to neutralize her proof that shes higher than you on the social totem pole.

*I dont think that would go over well with the boyfriend

That statement made her have more value than you..also..gave her boyfriend more value than you*. Hes hundreds of miles away and he still has more influence over her behavior. Your job is to prove to her that her boyfriend doesnt matter. How do I know? I've been here before.

07-17-2009, 08:32 AM
N Cognito, that was some great responses to that line! To the original poster, I think you need to take it as a learning experience and walk away. Too much texting too. Its great tool, but you need to progress to actually calling on the phone and getting face time. Any comment relating to a boyfriend is usually a ****test or is a red flag she lost interest. I have learned to be either really cocky about it or ignore it. Next time a girl says that to you, just ask her out anyway, and if she says she has a boyfriend, just move on. Also, don't bust on a girl after she turned you down with the "respect the boyfriend" thing. It propably blew away whatever small chance you had. Always look like you have options. Remember, one of Mystery's big pointers is to always act like its no big deal, no matter what comes up.