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View Full Version : Not a friend in the world....:(



innovate16
02-12-2009, 07:20 PM
Basically iv lost all my friends!!!! I began to relise that my aims and goals in life are so different, to the people i currentlly hang around with! And one of the main lessions i learned from the game was dnt be with people you dnt feel are on the same wave length as you! Basically im certain they dnt care about my pressence anymore! I have changed my attitude to much more postive and my''friends'' just ignore me!

Iv become so positive and outward with new people that they just dont seem as interested in hanging with me anymore! They seemed scared that im trying to make a ddifference in my ife! and use subtle advoidance to show me this!!!

Baiscally i dnt know where to go in life anymore! Why pull beautiful women, when my friends dnt want to be around me anymore!(well more so dnt want to hear what i say, tak me for granted!)

Im going to run a test, where i dont reply to there txts for a week and see what happens! Take away, and they will miss!

Vapor
02-12-2009, 07:35 PM
If you believe this is a positive development, congrats.

OTOH, if they are avoiding you, that might be a clue that you're acting in an off-putting manner. There's a difference between you choosing not to spend time with old friends and them choosing to not spend time with you.

tallguy
02-12-2009, 08:40 PM
I have found myself in a similar situation, although it may be because I'm not as out going and I seem to care less about going out and stuff. I just feel like I can't relate to them anymore, and I don't really care, but I sorta miss the old times. I like to tell myself that its just we're headed in different directions-- I have a job and ambitions while most of them are jobless second semester college seniors with no plans.

Fuck it, the situation isn't all that similar. I'll just go ahead and tell the story.

So I used to be realllly introverted freshman year of college. Well not too introverted, but I didn't talk to girls too much, drank sparingly, and went out rarely. These two girls that I knew through my athletic involvement sorta reached out. I was just the stereotypical "nice guy" at the time, and they more or less took advantage of me. Luckily, I was pretty busy with school and stuff, so I wasn't able to always be there when they asked for help or to watch a movie or some stupid shit. We became friends over the next year (if you would call it that... they were nice to me and they were two of the few girls that initiated conversations with me), then I started to like one of them, got a really bad case of one-itis (epically bad). I never really asked her out and she didn't really address the issue. She seemed to give off IOIs but I could have been blinded by oneitis so its hard to tell looking back. I hung out with them all the time and had few other close friends. We had a falling out when I guess things got to the point where I was being rather brazen and obvious so she felt the need to address it. She started blowing me off, and when I finally asked about it she said something to the effect of "I think you want to go in one direction and I want to go in another, I think we just need some space." It was pretty rough at first, but things went ok. Then I realized I wasnt over her. She went on to drunkenly make out with a bunch of guys a parties and I just got pissed (so your direction is you want to be a slut eh?). My friend told me I should just forget about her, ignore her, and blow her off. I tried this, but I always would get pissed when I saw her and say something stupid and insulting. I continue to ignore her and most of the time I feel ok, but I'll get random streaks of meanness, probably brought on by jealousy, mostly because I think I'm better than any other guy she's been with. And I get pissed at myself for being stupid enough to get myself into the situation. And I feel used and it sucks. Did I mention I'm forced to see her every day at practice? I think she made an attempt to re-initiate contact, but i just blew her off and since then she hasn't acknowledged me.

I'm figuring I'll just start over once I move and start my job, but the present sucks. Social circles in college are tight b/c hey its senior year, most people have friends already, and its harder finding good events to go to.

So yeah, right now you think I'm a complete loser. I'm thinking your responses would include something along the lines of "its your fault for getting into the situation," "why do you continue to care, let it go and move on," "GFTOW," "Its your fault, you fucked with chicks in your social circle," "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go out," and "you are just sad"

Sorry for the long diatribe I just needed to vent. Feel free to comment. I'm just trying to rationalize everything.

innovate16
02-13-2009, 08:20 AM
The things is i aint actting in a weird mannor! When i go out for example every wants me to be around them! Like all my aqaintences i kind of know, and keep telling me how cool i am, and many say to me....why do ya not talk to me any more? Generally ppl who where friends of my ex gf's!

So basically my problem is...my friends....all bar one are all very introvert! Andim very Extravert! So to me it just doesn't mix well!! So should i get a new social group is the question...and finally how in gods name do ya get a girl ya just met to be a ''friend'', most girls i know generally only want relations!

*Innovate*

Vapor
02-13-2009, 11:44 AM
Hang out with your introverted friends when you aren't out meeting women. Keep separate social circles.

chukster
02-14-2009, 07:51 AM
wow this is the 2nd time i agree with vapo he must be getting a lot of girls married or a player

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pixelPusher
02-14-2009, 08:45 AM
You know, for the past 4 years the military has kept me out of the states. This made it very difficult connecting with my friends. Even with use of MS and FB, it felt like they were slowly moving on and forgetting about me. And every time i went home on leave (once a year) my social circle kept getting smaller and smaller. I still have a very few close friends that i talk to. The thing is, i cant wait to be back home and out of the military (about 5 months) and start interacting with new people and involving with new ocial groups. Thats one of the biggest things im looking forward to, .. that and people who speak english. So FU*K it! if your friends want to be shady, whatever, let them be. So go out, have fun, and start meeting new friends.

innovate16
02-14-2009, 06:43 PM
Hey man!! the crazy thing is i went out with my one non-quiet friend 2nite!!! And basically had a great nite!!!! Simply all i done was said to my self....''fuck it ill talk to everyone i think would be cool'' and i DID!!! So i ended up gettin with this 33 year old.......im 19 btw.....and she is cute, sexy and loves everything i do...bar sports!!!:( Just really want to thank you for your supprt lads, cause without you, i wouldnt of even said hi!)

So in conclusion, if you ever have any problems, just say to yourself i want a change and make sure that, change happens the next time your out!!!(my change was simply not saying hello to everyone i liked and now i do!)

:)

My friend circle has already improved

*innovate*

Adam of Eve
02-14-2009, 07:06 PM
You know, for the past 4 years the military has kept me out of the states. This made it very difficult connecting with my friends. Even with use of MS and FB, it felt like they were slowly moving on and forgetting about me. And every time i went home on leave (once a year) my social circle kept getting smaller and smaller. I still have a very few close friends that i talk to. The thing is, i cant wait to be back home and out of the military (about 5 months) and start interacting with new people and involving with new ocial groups. Thats one of the biggest things im looking forward to, .. that and people who speak english. So FU*K it! if your friends want to be shady, whatever, let them be. So go out, have fun, and start meeting new friends.

REspect

sdnightfly
02-14-2009, 09:53 PM
Sometimes it's because those friends see you as not being your true self because you've changed and they haven't.

At 18-19, it's good to keep old friends but you have to ask yourself are these true friends who would be there for you when everything goes wrong or are they just people you hang with that you were never all that close to?

Don't "need" their friendship. If they're that resentful towards you, it might be time to cut them out of your life for the time being.

I would compromise a bit with the old friends and tone it down a bit, but with the new friends, keep on doing what you're doing.

innovate16
02-15-2009, 10:13 AM
Well your right in saying that i dnt really NEED em. I see these guys as good friends. like school time friends and i usually hang out loads with em. Its just certain ppl in my friend group would not be your typical friends!

Like very intravert and basically obsessed with there gf's! Specially around this Valentine time! So i try to avoid them, but the other few are ok i quess. Fairly normal group of lads but i supose i coluld trust on one or two to ''be der'' when i needed them!

But my ''new'' social cirlce is continously growing!

And a bit of topic but, MY AA(which was massive!) has gotten way better. i have no probs opening up a group of hb 6,7 without hessitation. Still a lil shy of the high 9's and 10's but still working on it!

Thanks yet again for all your advice and critique!

Peace out *innovate*