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Punkchik
01-29-2009, 11:54 AM
Some of you may remember me, most won't... I got into a serious relationship and dissappeared a few years ago, but I ended it and I'm back in the dating game. It has been suggested I share a few things. (Oh, and TrueStory is awesome, and everyone should listen to him.)

Over the last few weeks, I jumped back in full bore - I'm going at least two dates at day with different people every time I have a day off, unless I'm supposed to be at the dojong. That may be upsetting for some of you... deal with it.

It started when I got onto an online dating site. First date - hot guy, Marine, hit it off like peas and carrots, had too much to drink and spent the night at his house. Didn't fuck him. Next morning, breakfast, equally nice until he found out I like girls as well and I might as well have jumped into icewater. In a nut shell, he wasn't interested anymore.

Ouch. It was a major ego hit, but I decided to fake it until I made it; gave myself a day to be pissy about it, called my fuck buddy and rocked his world, got back on the online dating site and posted a few more pics. Mind you, I'm athletic but carrying a few extra pounds - not Scarlett Johannsen by any means. I am cute, and put up pics of me doing the fun and interesting things that make up my life, not lounging around like a cheap pinup. I made sure they KNOW I have a life of my own. That worked well.

When I present myself, I am confident, have cool shit to talk about and I let myself relax and make jokes. If the joke is crap, roll with it anyway. He/she busts your balls, bust theirs back.

My new problem is this: I have multiple guys I'm very interested in, and limited free time. I'm trying to figure out a way to keep them all around without being a whore (because no guy is going to hang out with a girl for an extended period of time if she isn't giving him any) and still have the freedom to play the field as much as I'm wanting to.

I work full time nights, which cramps things. I can go on daytime dates, which is difficult considering most of my men work 9-5. My nights off are getting to the point where I'm scheduling weeks in advance, which is utter crap and causing me undue stress. I wouldn't want a guy who'd roll over and wait that long for me anyway...

And yet, I'm still loving me re-entrance into the dating world. Yes, I may lose my chance on a quality guy, and if I have to, I'll pick it back up later. I've done THAT before and if it's not meant to be it isn't.

So thereyago. Anybody have input on juggling the harem?

silverghost
01-29-2009, 12:25 PM
Your question is a bit vague. You trying to figure out how to keep them all around without being a whore? What does that mean? You want to keep em around without having sex with any of them? (Oh and trust me many guys hang around even if you dont give them any).
Also I kinda find it weird that you have that many quality guys. Wasnt that a problem that women cant find quality guys? And you have many? Quality magnet then? sweet.
Try to be more specific with your question. What you want to do with these guys? Go out with them? Pay your expenses? Have sex with them? Go out with them? Let us know so the answer wont be 3 pages long taking all parameters lol.

kelly_monaco
01-29-2009, 12:31 PM
I'm trying to figure out a way to keep them all around without being a whore (because no guy is going to hang out with a girl for an extended period of time if she isn't giving him any) and still have the freedom to play the field as much as I'm wanting to.



Thats very true. Im also finding the time management difficult. For me I start feeling that the dates that I schedule are COMMITMENTS and not OPPORTUNITIES to have fun. I need to change my mindset towards that.

TrueStory
01-29-2009, 12:47 PM
Your question is a bit vague. You trying to figure out how to keep them all around without being a whore? What does that mean? You want to keep em around without having sex with any of them? (Oh and trust me many guys hang around even if you dont give them any).

Those are not quality guys.


Also I kinda find it weird that you have that many quality guys. Wasnt that a problem that women cant find quality guys? And you have many? Quality magnet then? sweet.

That's the problem. Quality guys don't stick around in those relationships. Not every guy wants to have a fuck buddy and that's all. Some look for confident female he could date. Also many quality guys don't want to be "one of the guys she's fucking", so they leave and find something easier.


Try to be more specific with your question. What you want to do with these guys? Go out with them? Pay your expenses? Have sex with them? Go out with them? Let us know so the answer wont be 3 pages long taking all parameters lol.


that's what I told her, to stop worrying about those guys; guys come and go, so do girls.


This reflects to the post I posted earlier about scheduling multiple dates. Girls like Punkchik have no problems getting dates. Especially online. However, not many desirable men want to be played.



Like we talked, don't push the "relationship" questions on them. You said yourself you wanted to play field...so why worry, right?


Or do you even know what you want yourself? ;)

Xadus
01-29-2009, 02:00 PM
So you want to juggle the "harem" and still get what you want? You want your cake and eat it too? My opinion on this is that you shouldn't try to juggle multiple guys with your schedule. I mean by saying "multiple" I am imagining like 5-7 guys. That is a lot. 2-4 guys is totally feasible without much work. As long as you aren't in a relationship with them they won't really have to care/notice that you are dating several guys at once. And you will know you met the quality guy once you hang out with him. Some guys are shy though and that can cramp your look...you are likely to get bored with those guys.

If you want to juggle these guys just do it. You don't have to have a day planner and stuff for that...just do it. And when you have a night off text/call a few guys and see who jumps first...and they will be your date that night. I wouldn't do that all the time...because they will get bored and say you are playing games with them lol.

That is just my opinion. I could be wrong...but I'm sure Truestory will tell me if I am haha

Xadus

TrueStory
01-29-2009, 02:13 PM
Maybe you should look into Paul Janka *cough* shameless plug*cough*

He has slept with 140 or so women and he juggles tons of chicks per week. I think in one of his DVDs he said he number closes 10-30 girls per week and then starts mass broadcasting texts to the "pipeline". As he says, he can only send text to 20 recipients at a time, so by the time he makes it half way through the K's and M's..he already has plans for the night. So he has to start from Z and UP to give each girl fair opportunity to hang out with him.


I do that but on much smaller scale. But i always schedule plans and cancel them if something better comes up. ( Granted i never cancel on my friends, because, girls come and go friends are always there)

Also i keep emotional unattached attitude. Girls come and go. I never get too emotional over a girl. Thus if they choose not to like how things are, they can leave at free will.

Xadus
01-29-2009, 02:17 PM
YAY! He didn't dog-ball me for being wrong. I must be moving up in the world. All our conversations are paying off haha. Even though we hardly ever talk about game lol.

FemmeFatale
01-29-2009, 03:45 PM
My new problem is this: I have multiple guys I'm very interested in, and limited free time. I'm trying to figure out a way to keep them all around without being a whore (because no guy is going to hang out with a girl for an extended period of time if she isn't giving him any) and still have the freedom to play the field as much as I'm wanting to.

Why dont you limit the amount of guys you're seeing at once? You can do 2, instead of 4. Increase your qualification criteria, they cant all be amazing, eliminate the ones that dont qualify as well.
No matter what anyone says, every human being can be manipulated. Some of the biggest "Puas" have been manipulated and done AFC things and waited for girls for much longer then they would like to admit. Even TrueStory has been there and Im pretty sure at some stage he too was hung up over a girl..and chances are, one day.. perhaps 20 years from now, he'll catch himself doing things he wouldnt approve of now, perhaps when someone completely blows his mind. Perhaps not. ;-) Its simple, you move slow and you control the pace. If day time dates (which are ideal if you want to prolong sex) are out of the question, you schedule night time dates that are of quality.. these dates dont involve him coming into your place for a drink or you going to his.. They are active dates and allow you to suss him out as much as possible before you commit yourself physically. You have to make each of them feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel. Each of them needs to feel like they're gonna get pussy soon enough. Dont get hot and heavy in the car. Dont cock tease and make them feel like they're gonna get some and then not actually give them some. Offer physical attention in other ways, make out a lot, hug, touch, etc. These guys will probably be seeing other girls.. infact, there have been many threads on this forum about guys who are "currently" sleeping with 3-4 girls.. but the thread is actually about the girl who hasnt given them pussy yet.. they're still actively gaming the girl that hasnt fucked them.. therefore, they've stuck around. Now chances are, the guys you date will probably still be fucking around with other girls if they are quality men.. however, the deeper you stick your claws into their skin and the more you get under it, the more mind space you'll get inside his brain. Those other girls will become of less and less value and will not hold a LTR potential in his brain..they're backhground noise, where as you'll become a target.
You need to present yourself as potential LTR material, they wont stick around this long for some pussy in your casual dating game. If you present yourself as a LTR material type, they will treat you differently then they treat the one night stands and the "I just wanna fuck her a few times" types.

It was a major ego hit, but I decided to fake it until I made it; gave myself a day to be pissy about it, called my fuck buddy and rocked his world, got back on the online dating site and posted a few more pics. Mind you, I'm athletic but carrying a few extra pounds - not Scarlett Johannsen by any means. I am cute, and put up pics of me doing the fun and interesting things that make up my life, not lounging around like a cheap pinup. I made sure they KNOW I have a life of my own. That worked well.
Another thing, guys are extremely visual creatures. You qualify women based on the things you've written up there, guys dont.. yes, it plays a role.. they like the fact that you're fun and you have interests.. but the truth is, the main qualifier is how you look..your legs, your ass, your face, your clothing. This is the most important thing. Some of the biggest puas have been blinded and mind fucked by drop dead gorgeous women. Its important that you show that you do have a life and you're a busy girl, but work on your image.. ALWAYS. Seek ways to improve and present the best possible you (physically)..and this will help SHITLOADS in your game and your frame. You said you had a few extra pounds? Join the gym and start working out. Looking good is a full time job (might as well be).. grooming has to be perfect, find clothing that flatters you and makes you look sexy, find make up that suits you (rather then walking around like a cake face), get a tan in summer, work out/ eat right.. basically perfect yourself as much as you can or as much as your genes will allow you to. Still work on your other qualities, but do not put your image and your beauty as secondary.. "Im cute... but Im not scarlet..however, Im super interesting and I have a busy life". No darling, you want to be just as cute as the pin ups you criticize, but perhaps a little smarter and more interesting.

The other day i was strolling along the beach and i saw a girl i went to high school with tanning. In high school she was probably a HB2-3.. chubby, hair always pulled back, no make up, ugly clothes. However, shes changed.. Now shes probably a HB7, if she loses a few more pounds she could be a HB8.. shes lost a lot of weight, tanned, nice sleek straight hair (worn down), in a bikini.. She looked decent. I bet now she gets guys.

Also, dont tell them you like girls as well straight away. You wouldnt tell a guy "I like to fuck..and i especially like it doggy style and hard" on the second date would you? You keep some things a secret and you SLOWLY let him find out interesting information about you. Its like unwrapping a gift, its much more fun when you open it slowly..and you shake it to see if it makes a sound, then if you rip the damn thing up in 2 seconds because it wasnt even wrapped properly and you could even tell what it was before you opened it.

Observe the types of posts guys make in the relationship section of the forum. You'll learn a lot.
Good luck.

silverghost
01-29-2009, 03:57 PM
My new problem is this: I have multiple guys I'm very interested in, and limited free time. I'm trying to figure out a way to keep them all around without being a whore (because no guy is going to hang out with a girl for an extended period of time if she isn't giving him any) and still have the freedom to play the field as much as I'm wanting to.

Why dont you limit the amount of guys you're seeing at once? You can do 2, instead of 4. Increase your qualification criteria, they cant all be amazing, eliminate the ones that dont qualify as well.
No matter what anyone says, every human being can be manipulated. Some of the biggest "Puas" have been manipulated and done AFC things and waited for girls for much longer then they would like to admit. Even TrueStory has been there and Im pretty sure at some stage he too was hung up over a girl..and chances are, one day.. perhaps 20 years from now, he'll catch himself doing things he wouldnt approve of now, perhaps when someone completely blows his mind. Perhaps not. ;-) Its simple, you move slow and you control the pace. If day time dates (which are ideal if you want to prolong sex) are out of the question, you schedule night time dates that are of quality.. these dates dont involve him coming into your place for a drink or you going to his.. They are active dates and allow you to suss him out as much as possible before you commit yourself physically. You have to make each of them feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel. Each of them needs to feel like they're gonna get pussy soon enough. Dont get hot and heavy in the car. Dont cock tease and make them feel like they're gonna get some and then not actually give them some. Offer physical attention in other ways, make out a lot, hug, touch, etc. These guys will probably be seeing other girls.. infact, there have been many threads on this forum about guys who are "currently" sleeping with 3-4 girls.. but the thread is actually about the girl who hasnt given them pussy yet.. they're still actively gaming the girl that hasnt fucked them.. therefore, they've stuck around. Now chances are, the guys you date will probably still be fucking around with other girls if they are quality men.. however, the deeper you stick your claws into their skin and the more you get under it, the more mind space you'll get inside his brain. Those other girls will become of less and less value and will not hold a LTR potential in his brain..they're backhground noise, where as you'll become a target.
You need to present yourself as potential LTR material, they wont stick around this long for some pussy in your casual dating game. If you present yourself as a LTR material type, they will treat you differently then they treat the one night stands and the "I just wanna fuck her a few times" types.

Good luck.

Its the thrill of having guys giving you attention thats why:) Same thing happens to new guys entering pick up. For them quantity comes first. :)
Yes its true that some puas have been there longer than they want to admit but if you talk about older more expirienced pick up artists that manipulating opinions and people is their job (journalists, politicians etc) I think with the passing of time its very hard to be themselves manipulated from a pattern that is well known. Young pick up artists and the majority of them sure you are right.
As for the rest of the advice, you, me and most of the people on these forums know that logic is one thing and emotional stimulation is another. I know many women that went out with me and said in their minds "I WONT SLEEP WITH HIM NO MATTER WHAT" and 4 hours later we were in bed. Unless u take drastic measures like not shave your legs I dont see it possible to control if u ll sleep with someone expirienced in pick up or not. :)

EDIT: Ah and yes we all have been there. Staying with a girl with the hope we ll sleep with her at some point. Its a check point in a man's life :)

TrueStory
01-29-2009, 04:07 PM
Even TrueStory has been there and Im pretty sure at some stage he too was hung up over a girl..and chances are, one day.. perhaps 20 years from now, he'll catch himself doing things he wouldnt approve of now, perhaps when someone completely blows his mind. Perhaps not. ;-)


OH Absolutely!


WE are only human.

Punkchik
01-29-2009, 08:53 PM
I got a lot out of what Femme Fatale had to say, so thanks; I'd already come to the conclusion that I had to start weeding away at them and I'm in the process of that now. I suppose I don't really know what I'm trying to accomplish, other than bask in a bit of attention and try to find a guy I'd like to be in an LTR with, even though that's not something I'm ready for yet.

Oh, and I do work out, every day; I don't eat crap, either. I just got the shit end of the genetics stick. Although I do need a bit of help in the fashion dept...

FemmeFatale
01-29-2009, 09:49 PM
Silver, all good points...emotional manipulation is a very powerful thing.. however, a woman can over come it to an extent, just like emotional eaters who shove food down their throats every time they feel sad, or happy..excited etc. Its all about self control and practising how to strengthen it.

Punkchik, trust me, genetics has nothing to do with it. I know some will disagree with this..but chances are you probably arent doing something right, either with diet or exercise. All genetics does (and we all know it is an influence), is make things harder for you.. you might be genetically inclined to gain weight, that just means you have to work a lil harder to keep it off. This is what you should be focusing on, your image. If you feel the need for more attention, perfecting yourself will get you the attention you seek.. and you wont even have to date the guy. Women are manipulated with emotion.. men with looks and sex.

For fashion, dress for men not women.(So no grandma style cardigans just because the olsen twins are wearing them, no boho either, men just dont dig harem pants) Read fashion magazines like vogue and buy clothes that flatter your figure. Flattering and fitted Dresses and skirts (no pregnancy style ones which seem to be ever so IN), heels, leather knee high boots, skinny jeans(less flattering if you're chubby), patterned stockings in winter, blouses, fitted polos, fitted belted coats that show off your figure.. you can even hunt one down and wear it as a "coat dress".. this will get them wondering IF you have anything underneath. Wear pretty matching lingerie, google agent provocateur, you cant feel sexy in grandma undies. Hope this helps, if you need more help, PM me.

sdnightfly
01-29-2009, 09:55 PM
Just be friends with all of them and don't make the short term goal (< a year) a potential LTR.

When it comes to daytime, there will be some guys who will be able to take extra time out of their day to meet up. Esp. if they own their own business or work out of the office. A date can be 20 minutes, it can be hours... all up to you.

As far as the "whore" label, you're a grown woman... how much, how often, and how many is also up to you, to me it's a self-imposed LSE label instead of being a sexual being who does it if the mood strikes them.

And time is more valuable than anything. Don't forget "me time" and sometimes a night out doesn't have to come across as being a 'date'. Don't have undue stress over any of this.

And you always run the risk of losing someone even if you're with one person or many people.

swingdude007
01-30-2009, 03:03 PM
Men are attracted to a woman's beauty first and foremost. If you want a Quality Man, you have to be Quality (HV) yourself. A few extra pound implies that you fall a bit short. A guy can get by with it, but you can not. Forget the Superficial cop out that a guy should love you for your mind.... That crap is for a woman that is a loser and wants to believe a Player line of BS. I have had a STR with a couple less attractive females. They were never in the running for marriage. I never give her that idea and the STR was for there pleasure and benefit as much as mine and then some.

I just read FemmeFatale's post. Excellent. LSE drives people to eat. Fix it. Wear the sexy hot clothes. The women I have approached because I went into State and was Hot and Bothered, were instantly turned on by my sexual state and It Was On... It went unbelievably well. They were dressed to kill... I strongly agree with Femme. Communication is 55% BL which includes the treads.

Limit your number of guys to the cream of the crop. I give a girl a couple tries and then she is Out if she does not measure up. Time is in short supply and the opposite sex is in huge supply. (Both Ways)

Keep the dragon under the covers (Bi) and wait until he is worth the time and then approach it carefully. A Keeper will probably be interested and titillated by the idea. If it bothers him, dump him. You want Commonalities. You are an Adventurous girl, you will want an Adventurous man, not a guy that is jealous and Wussie.

Start figuring out a way to get a job that will allow the maximum time for men in your life.

SwingDude

new2town
01-30-2009, 04:19 PM
It's hard for me to take the concept of a female PUA seriously when just by virtue of being a chick they should pretty much be able to get any dude to f*** at the drop of a dime.

So what exactly is the objective of female PUA then? To play men out of material resources or to just screw with their heads (I'm picture Madonna in Body of Evidence)

FemmeFatale
01-30-2009, 04:27 PM
^ i dont believe there is such a thing as a female PUA. A quality female does not pick up, she gets picked up..she gets picked up so much that its annoying and she cant go anywhere alone without being hit on.

That being said, a woman should have some game. A hot woman without game is like a ball with no bounce.. eventually, if she has really really bad game, you'll get bored no matter how hot she is.. if all her interests revolve around is the latest gucci handbag, you'll wanna tell her "babe dont speak, just spread your legs"..and this isnt the kind of woman any PUA would want as a LTR.

So punkchik is on the right track, but i think the "Female PUA" is not an appropriate title.

Women should never, ever pick men up, game men, open sets of guys, etc.

The objective of a woman with game is to get her way. If shes after a LTR, she doesnt get fucked by a random and left behind crying and wondering, "WHY". This female gets under the guys skin so much that he thinks shes the shit, the worlds most amazing girl.. granted, there are so many other hot women in the world.. so she has to have a back up(some game), she cant do it based on looks alone and she really does have to be different.

silverghost
01-30-2009, 04:35 PM
Female PUA is just a woman that can actually distinguish quality men. Nothing more nothing less. Or a woman that can pick up other chicks...

mindquicken
02-02-2009, 10:12 PM
This female gets under the guys skin so much that he thinks shes the shit, the worlds most amazing girl.. granted, there are so many other hot women in the world.. so she has to have a back up(some game), she cant do it based on looks alone and she really does have to be different.

that would make the guy start acting AFC once he gets the girl and then she wouldn't want him anymore... making the tactic a waste of time for the girl. i much prefer the girls who bring out the best in me rather than the emotionally abusive ones that try their best to keep me insecure (though they always do learn their place pretty quickly).

regarding female game playing, i actually prefer the girls who make my pickup easier instead of doing things which get in the way, like feigning disinterest, waiting 2 days to answer my texts, arranging dates and then cancelling, etc. she has the chance to prove herself once she's in the relationship (by which she can upgrade the relationship into monogamy). if she plays games with me before then i simply just move onto the next girl in my rotation, and MAYBE come back to her a year later. (and yes, more than once i later learn that the girl was obsessed with me the whole time, which i could never tell from their mixed messages.)

well, now i only go after the Taken girls, so i'm redeveloping my game for that. out of neccessity i'm much more patient with them. the single girls have no excuse to delay sex though. if i know that the girl is already emotionally invested in me and that we're pretty far along, i will simply cut them out at the first hint of LMR, because that means something is mentally wrong with her, and i have easier, less painful options. LMR hurts my feelings! I've always gotten past LMR but I carry the resentment years into the relationship.

FemmeFatale
02-03-2009, 05:01 AM
She'll get under his skin and make acting alpha a lil more difficult. Relationships are a big scale, and as long as they are close to balanced, the relationship is very exciting and effective. No guy really likes a complete AFC girlfriend, its not these girls that get threads started on this forum, its the opposite kind.

If you ask any chick if she would like a guy who buys her flowers, calls her frequently and compliments her..she'll say yes.. even though if this guy is doing these things ALL the time, it'll put her off.. and at first, it'll be cute, but then she'll get bored. Just like when you ask guys if they like a woman that takes the lead and picks them up.. initially they say yes, but very very quickly once that happens they lose interest or dont view the girl as LTR potential. Will they fuck her if shes hot? SURE, but is she gonna be "special"? Hell no.

The only reason you like taken women is because they're more of a challenge. It doesnt matter if you admit it or not, but you'd be just as turned on by a single, somewhat aloof and independent minded, hot girl who had no intention of being with you...and you have been set off to change her mind :-) Its in your blood as a male, to be the Pursuer. Im pretty sure every other male species on earth functions the same way... just looking at my guppy fish, the male is chasing the female around to mate with her, not the other way around.. hes also not the only male chasing her.


by the way, what exactly is LMR?

silverghost
02-03-2009, 09:18 AM
Some pointers: Not anyone likes the whole challenge. I dont do relationships to be in a constant power struggle. I do relationships (when i do them) to forget my problems. Not to put more in my head. A man should be a man and a woman should be a woman. Everyone should know their places.
A challenging woman is someone that can pull a cat string theory but in the end to give herself to the man. Personally since I have choices and since I am past the whole "I have 10 women and i like the one that doesnt want me" I wont bother with some chick that tries to be a challenge all the friggin time. There is a time and place for this and for hell sure it aint in comfort and after sex.
As I said to a girl some days ago if you want to play dominant and shit go find your self a woman or a pussy man. Then after i ignored her for 2 days she started purring.

Heyooo
02-03-2009, 11:50 AM
by the way, what exactly is LMR?

LMR = Last minute resistance. Happens when a girl stops a guy when there about to have sex or near it.

LesPupPup
02-03-2009, 02:43 PM
<<<< until he found out I like girls as well and I might as well have jumped into icewater >>>>>
<<<<< Ouch. It was a major ego hit >>>>>

Don't make excuses for who you are, who you like, and who you are attracted to. That's unattractive and counter-productive.


<<<<< I'm trying to figure out a way to keep them all around without being a whore >>>>>>
Lose the label. Make no excuses for your wants and needs as a woman and I won't make any excuses for my wants and needs as a man.

- Pup (manwhore)