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View Full Version : Calling all those with field experience!!



Hypnovibe
04-2006-13, 09:53 AM
Hey guys....
I have a problem that has surfaced enough for me to need to figure it out. It is happening far too often that girls are voicing the opinion that I seem "too" confident "too" sure of myself or overcompensating....I am using a lot of A3 and a lot of these girls are continuing to keep in touch...and coming over or are sleeping over....a lot of them are also interested....some of them have something holding them back and it seems this problem is the key in it. I am wondering what is going on here...do I need to tone down my A3? Do I need to tone down the cocky/funny (A2)or BOTH?
Its hard to give examples because I have interacted with many girls lately but basically I am wondering if this is something I should calibrate and tweak with my game for or if its nothing to worry about....also I am wondering if I might need to come a little more towards the center and if I could be too far to the right towards arrogance right now....I mean I am following david Deangelo and mystery in a blend lately...and the big thing is I just tease and am playful and I wont jump a hoop...I will always put up my own hoop to any hoop they put up and I wont budge from my frame...

Vapor
04-2006-13, 09:58 AM
It sounds like you are short-changing comfort. One of the problems with C&F is you can't just C&F your way from A1 to S3. VAH goes into Comfort where you are showing some vulnerability and building rapport with her. Avoid that and you run the risk of being the guy who always has the snappy comeback but who the target doesn't feel she knows that well, because he always has his guard up.

Sy
04-2006-13, 10:08 AM
You have a couple of options,
1) If you're still in attraction, or very early in comfort you can Verbalise Lower Value "No, I'm totally shy, and have no clue how to talk to strangers"
2) Further into comfort you can show some genuine vulnerability. If you're bulletproof you might hurt them, if you have some vulnerability, then deep down you're a good guy and they have to unlock that guy... make it a challenge for them

Philos
04-2006-13, 10:29 AM
it's a shit test. don't buy into her frame when she says that. say something along the lines of, "damn right I'm confident. I hate how nowadays it's not popular for a guy to be confident about himself. Like we're all supposed to be crying over some broad we can't get like those Blink 182 dousch bags."
you're doing fine. most girls are saying that out of insecurity. they feel you're out of their league. it's like a neg for them.
Philos

doc
04-2006-13, 11:30 AM
if you`re getting the response from more than one...then maybe there is an issue...so tone it downn..field test and compare.

Cedar
04-2006-13, 12:22 PM
...girls are voicing the opinion that I seem "too" confident "too" sure of myself or overcompensating....
I've heard this from guys who reach the one year mark. Mehow needed to add a 'chill' factor and Style (supposedly) fakes nervousness when meeting new people.
What are you using for a grounding routine in comfort?

Hypnovibe
04-2006-13, 12:22 PM
I cant find the sweet spot...I am always either to the left or the right. Either too much or not enough. I wish there was a book or some kind of reference that would address this. It comes down to calibration but its really hard to tell if cocky/funny and confidence and prize mentality is too much for a girl because they tend to test....and I have a hard time telling the difference...so I just stick to my reality and my frame and even though I get many more women since I have found the community (I have a competition right now where girls will call me and leave me "hot" messages) and have done so many things I used to deem impossible or not in my reality.....still it seems like when I was an AFC I was much less confused and my close percent was higher when I went after a girl. Sometimes I wish I could erase my memory and go back man.

Hypnovibe
04-2006-13, 12:30 PM
I've heard this from guys who reach the one year mark. Mehow needed to add a 'chill' factor and Style (supposedly) fakes nervousness when meeting new people.
What are you using for a grounding routine in comfort?
This issue has to do with the A's....if I get into comfort then its clear sailing...its before then....my comfort is like a Filet Mignon...my grounding technique is how when I was a kid I always wanted to help people and bring joy to people yada yada...I tell some stories of how at one point I wanted to be an astronaught and explore space and how one of my favorite movies is Armageddon and how I love how he sacrifises himself for mankind....and how I have all these dreams and plans for the future but right now I help animals. Vague but if I went into my whole routine word for word...my boss would foil me since I am at work!! lol.

Bunny
04-2006-13, 12:33 PM
Take two of these and call in the me in the morning!

if you`re getting the response from more than one...then maybe there is an issue...so tone it downn..field test and compare.
Doc's nailed this bitch! If you're getting a lot of the same feild feedback, then something has gone a-fuck. I've heard of many guys getting all twisted around with C/F. It's a tough one to calibrate.
Same goes for gents and Neg Theory. Cedar and I have chatted about this one. Negs are brutal at first for many of us. I've certianly over done it on negs, opps, damge done!
Yup I've tossed my fare share of socail grenades. Ive even hopped a few to save the graces of my mates. LoL! Tis a bitch and shameful, but necassary at times to eat the crap we give.
Anyway. Calibration takes time. Key that you have isolated the problem. Something I'll use as a socail handicap-fixer-yuper!
Repeat after me:"I didn't mean to be a dick. I'm just playing around." When messing with C/F and negs, wear a t-shirt with the phrase printed in large block letters.
Bunny!