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Badak
01-07-2009, 04:21 PM
Hey i know this is a really stupid thought but i would like to discuss this!

Did you ever had the feeling of "she may cheat me...?"

Actually I'm pretty sure my g/f won't cheat on me but I'm curious....what if i fake a facebook acc or msn and try to game her and even ask for a meeting, checking out how she will mention me as her bf and her whole attitude...i know this is very childish and displays insecurity but |||| i'd really like to know...even if she would meet i wont say "haha it was me |||| you" and dump her but this could be a way to find out how i have to improve my alphaness......maybe i'm just a bit upset and emotionaly worried but then pls tell me so and i will forget this idea...

Pony Boy
01-07-2009, 04:50 PM
WHAT YOU ARE PROPOSING IS VERY IMMATURE AND SHOWS YOUR INSECURITY...IF ANYTHING SHE SHOULD BE DUMPING YOU TO FIND A MAN MORE CONFIDENT IN HIMSELF.

seriously now...part of this "game" is raising your confidence to the level that if the girl walks away, you shouldn't care. there is no such thing as another man[ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE THE OTHER MAN] stealing your girlfriend...if she leaves YOU, its because YOU are lacking in what you have to offer[which should be alot] compared to the other guy.

are you serious????

edit: and sorry if that post came off a little harsh, but you gotta admit, you need that knocked into you...or a close friend to give you a therapeutic physical smack in the face.

Badak
01-07-2009, 04:57 PM
ok dropped that idea^^ no needs for other posts ;D

Romo
01-07-2009, 05:47 PM
I don't mean to beat a dead horse with a stick here, but It looks like you and your relationship need help. I have a few follow up questions;

What makes you so insecure in the relationship?
Do you feel inadaquate to other males?
Do you feel that you don't deserve her?
Do you feel possessive of her...?

Clearly that was a bad idea -- But it exposes a deeper problem in the relationship that I believe should be fixed before going further. It's this kind of problem in some of my client's Boyfriends/Girlfriends that can really hurt people around them.


==Romo

TrueStory
01-07-2009, 05:52 PM
Hey i know this is a really stupid thought but i would like to discuss this!

Did you ever had the feeling of "she may cheat me...?"

Actually I'm pretty sure my g/f won't cheat on me but I'm curious....what if i fake a facebook acc or msn and try to game her and even ask for a meeting, checking out how she will mention me as her bf and her whole attitude...i know this is very childish and displays insecurity but |||| i'd really like to know...even if she would meet i wont say "haha it was me |||| you" and dump her but this could be a way to find out how i have to improve my alphaness......maybe i'm just a bit upset and emotionaly worried but then pls tell me so and i will forget this idea...


Even if you wanted to pull that shit as a prank, you still will not be able to pull it off.

Women have strange intuition about being setup (DUDE don't ask me how i know lol..don't ask)


Don't do it. It is insecurity and it will end badly.

Led
01-07-2009, 06:33 PM
How do you know? :)

Badak
01-08-2009, 12:13 AM
I don't mean to beat a dead horse with a stick here, but It looks like you and your relationship need help. I have a few follow up questions;

What makes you so insecure in the relationship?
Do you feel inadaquate to other males?
Do you feel that you don't deserve her?
Do you feel possessive of her...?

Clearly that was a bad idea -- But it exposes a deeper problem in the relationship that I believe should be fixed before going further. It's this kind of problem in some of my client's Boyfriends/Girlfriends that can really hurt people around them.


==Romo

the thing is...i found out, by casually logging into her facebook acc that she was flirting, even meeting (not dating) a guy i never heard of...it's like a punch in my face because i realy trusted her and i do always display alpha to her....my problem is that she never mentioned this guy. I know he is less alpha and has lower value but thats not what is annoying me....its that she just never talked about him and what they did.....i know they still have contact (an she ends messages with "kiss" smiliey - i know not such a big deal but yeah...) and talk about "yeah I'd be happy if we could meet again then i will show you my room" or what ever they are talking about....I know my g/f is REALLY into me but what the???????? i'd have no problem if she told me but she never did.....that hurts my trust and in don't know how to handle this because i can't just "let it go"......i know and i will ask her what the .....is going on here and that she just does something that pulls her far away from me.....i don't want any secrets like meeting another guy o,O I always tell her if i meet other women or groups of people etc...and tell even afterwards how my day was....bullshit =/

Romo
01-08-2009, 12:52 AM
I'm going to put this very bluntly, because this was exactly how these truths were exposed to me as well.


it's like a punch in my face because i realy trusted her Trust is a funny thing. I actually think this isn't trust that was injured in your case. You thought your relationship was something, and behaved in a certain way because of your thoughts. You expected her to have equal thoughts about the relationship -- but it turns out, she could actually feel a differently than you do.
I don't think that's trust, that's disappointment.



its that she just never talked about him and what they did
don't know how to handle this because i can't just "let it go"

You can be as alpha as you want, but women look for all aspects of their life to be fufilling. If you're a nice guy, but awesome in the sack -- you're a |||| buddy. If you're pouplar, and high value, you're a connecting friend/Boyfriend. If you're a nice guy and listen to problem, you're the emotional tampon/gay friend to them.

No matter how much your 'alpha' mojo is; You're not doing something for her -- she's going to try to make her life as fufilled, or without you. What you're not supplying to her in the relationship to get her happy/satisfied -- she WILL get elsewhere.

You not being able to let it go, is simply not being able to come to terms, that you're not giving her something in the relationship, that she's looking for somewhere else.


i know and i will ask her what the .....is going on here and that she just does something that pulls her far away from me.....
If I may +1 what TrueStory said earlier on this....
Don't do it. It is insecurity and it will end badly.


I always tell her if i meet other women or groups of people etc...and tell even afterwards how my day was....bullshit =/

You behaved a certian way, and she didn't behave that way in return. You feel hurt/will be hurt because you are more invested in the relationship than she is.

Ask yourself what it is YOU are not doing for this girl.
She could be low self esteem and insecure -- and need validation from more guys than one. She could be sexually unsatisfied and not orgasm often from sex -- and is looking for it elsewhere. She could feel emotionally stale, and therefore go for something she knows feels wrong, just to stir a reaction, or get out of a relationship. She could feel tied down. You could be emotionally distant and not listen enough. You could listen too much -- and be available too much for her, suffocating the relationship.

There are hundreds of plausable reasons. All of them lead to the same thing.

Yes, you are being insecure. Yes, She is meeting other guys (whether she's LJBF ing them or not)

I can tell you, that because you casually logged into HER facebook account -- and were even thinking about making up a false meet up -- I'm guessing this insecurity bleeds over into your relationship -- and she can probably pick up on that sort of needy vibe.

You Are going to learn from this expierence, what you're not giving her in the relationship -- one way or another. (Validation:cool:, Orgasms:eek:, Excitement:D, fun:p) It sounds like you're going to learn from it the hard way because of your insecurity.

What you've already done, Rings so many No-No, unnatractive bells in my head -- How you're reacting isn't helping it either.
Take a good look at your relationship -- What problems are you encountering? Why is she going elsewhere for something?

If you cannot see what is the problem in the relationship -- that blindness is perhaps a worse problem than what's happening.:eek:

Good luck -- but if this hasn't struck anyone else yet -- this is beginning to sound like oneitis.

==Romo

Rolls
01-08-2009, 02:56 AM
I have an LTR, and I always end my texts with x :) to girls she has not met and i have not told her about. However I am not sleeping with any of them. I do not want to sleep with any of them.

Soooooo......

Just becuase she does not divulge everything to you, does not mean that she is cheating on you. It does not mean that she is leaving you.

All it means is that she has a life away form you, which is actually a good thing.

Sort yourself out. If you are really that untrustful, get rid of her, for HER sake.

Not sure how old you are, but you seem a little inexpierienced in personal relationships, if you are worried about this.

My first rule of anything is 'do not get into the girls head' if you do, you will come to the wrong conclusions, and will end up causing strife when there is none.

Badak
01-08-2009, 04:19 AM
ok thank you guys helped me alot...yes this is my first relationship but i was happy before i found out about this....but i reacted emotionally to you...i wont say anything and i even don't give a |||| anymore because i'm happy she has another life we have a realy intensive relationship she is kinda more the needy one...and this guy is a looser...saw his messages totally wrong game...and even IF she does anything i'll dump her because i'm the one who has the options......she will find out that this guy is a nerdy nerd....i have to concern things more distant and more controlled....it's hard but i prefer being independent than to be someone she can hurt! and yes it's not the trust issue...it's just that i thought she has NO eyes for anybody else (what reflect other reactions and behaviour but...who cares xD) and that was naive....she can have eyes for everyone but in the end it's always me she will care about...and it would display very insecurity if I tell her that my trust is hurt because of such a piece of shit! i have to accept that she will always chat online and may even date somebody else but I'm secure enough that i can say that it's me she wants to be with....and if the unexpected case comes....it will hurt but after two weeks I will stand my ground!

thank you guys...don't want to appear kinda needy because of posting much here about my problems but I'm on a way to find out what life realy is and this helps me alot....!

greez Badak