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View Full Version : SP: Fear of plowing when I don't receive IOIs right off the bat



Effortless Sheek
01-06-2009, 09:41 AM
I used to think this problem came from not having the material to run in set, however, this thought has dimished since I have formulated a routine stack for myself of known good material. I realsied the problem lay elsewhere when I thought back and noticed that barely ever actually 'used up' my designated material of the night.

What happens in my sets is- I consistently open the set without getting blown out, however, unless the girls give me POSITIVE reactions within the first 30 secs, then I will eject. That is, even if they still allow me to stay, not giving negative reactions, then I will still eject. I realised that I will run my opener, then begin my transition into the eyebrows routine but I haven't once finished it because I always get half way through and feel like I'm 'intruding' so I then stall out and usually eject if the girl hasen't given me any signs of interest yet.

As I write this I can see that it is too much reaction seeking when I should just plow but it remains that I have this feeling of a glass wall set up in my mind where I will not overstep the mark uness given a green light from the girl that it is going to be accepted somewhat. I have no trouble escalating when a girl is attracted from my opener, going for the kiss/kino/etc. however it's that border from neutral to attracted that I am afraid to cross. This makes me realise that nearly all of my closes have been from 'fools mates' in that the girl was already attracted from the get go and any time I approach it was merely a numbers game rather than any proper manipulation of attraciton on my part, which got me the girl. It is this crucial stage of 'building value' which I really want to get down because, unless the girl sees value in my approach right away, which is not usualy the case on 8+'s, then I will skulk off into the night.

Can anyone give me tips for getting through this one or is it just a case of FORCING it till I get comfy with plowing?

Grr
01-06-2009, 12:49 PM
Wow, I seriously thought I wrote this thread :p sounds exactly like me. If I don't get positive interaction soon, I just bounce. And I also feel that border from neutral to attracted, and I'm also afraid to cross that :( Well at least you aren't alone man :)