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View Full Version : Could someone please tell me where I f*cked up in kino?



ashleyy
12-25-2008, 08:39 AM
I'll break up my interaction with this girl (my sister says shes a 6 but I think shes an 8) (then again my sister says i'm a 4 so even 6 is good lol)

Gamed her online
Read her profile, said something smart (on our date she said she was thinking of my first msg for 2 days n she fell in love with it) got her msn, gamed her there, made her ask for my pictures and got her number

Phone game
mainly text game and i think she called me first cuz she said i knew her so well that she just had to make sure i wasnt someone she alr knew who was playing with her

Date
She asked me out cuz she had to meet me and i went cuz i had nothing better to do on x mas eve. She intros me to a male friend she was smoking with, i'm friendly to them both and the dude bothers to say "bye ashley" when he leaves. We go book tics for a movie and go for dinner. she asks me bout my ex gfs. in the cinema i rest my hand on her thigh a few times and she doesnt react. she leans into me a couple of times. we go out and get a drink to share. I tell her i'll let her go home at 2 am cuz she is working the next day. shes cool with sharing straws and asks me random stuff like if i'm aite with sharing spoons and stuff. we talk, she seems to be having fun tho she shows me some pictures of her and her ex as shes showing me other pictures on her phone. she points out some random bad stuff both me like how i can't move my mouth properly cuz of my braces. i laugh it off. she likens me to a dude who used to like her (the dude is like 38). i rest my hand on hers several times and no reaction from her. she asks me some stuff bout her online profile but i've honestly forgotten so i wing it the best i can.

Heading to the bus stop (its 6 am)
I finally muster the courage to hold her hand (awkward, awkward!!) and she goes "why do you wanna hold my hand" so i hold on for 10 secs longer then i drop it and continue like nothing happened. when her bus comes she hugs me goodbye

2 mins after the date
She texts me to thank me for the wonderful time. i reply and she says she wants to sleep

20 mins after that
She texts to say shes awake and sends a separate msg to ask whyd i hold her hand. i reply with "it felt right but it didnt to you and thats cool" and i try to change the topic. she replies to ask why it felr right. i reply with something like "i dont have a book/web link on feelings, it just felt right. whyd you pull away?" she texts to say shes gg to sleep and i say "i'm only letting you off cuz of your cute nosering."

x mas
i ask her if she got to work on time when i wake up (was thinking of bringing her coffee in the afternoon but i decided against it) then we text like nothing happened, and wish each other merry xmas.

So basically i'm wondering whyd she pull away when i held her hand when she was alright with me resting my hand on her thigh, hand and with hugging me?

Don't worry i'm not in love with her or anything but i might be nursing a crush on her.

Thanks for reading everything and any advice!

Sylo
12-25-2008, 11:54 AM
IMO, sounds like she was interested in u cuz u did hold her hand. she wanted u to admit that u liked her or something. maybe she pulled away cuz she wasnt expecting it or something. but i dont think u messed up or nething. just the way it sounds to me.

brush up on some txt game. dont txt her as soon as u wake up. have ur msgs sent at unpredictable times and make them interesting/cocky/funny. n dont bring her coffee. that stuff is all needy. shes into u but ull lose her if she catches the scent of clinginess.

R V C A
12-25-2008, 12:04 PM
dont hold hands it is lame and awkward, holding hands while in public and walking should be reserved for couples. and even then i dont like hand holding. id rather the girl put her arm around mine.
do something like put your hand on the small of her back if you are walking.

Cunjar
12-25-2008, 12:33 PM
Yea, on first dates I dont think holding hands is a good form of kino unless she persues it.

I enjoy hand around the back, or hands on shoulders crap like that. Holding hands seems a lil too bf/gf

clik
12-25-2008, 12:46 PM
WOW i really wanna slap you right now. Ha jk. All right man let me put it this way you didn't kino enough that i'm sure she was weirded out by the sudden hand holding on the first date, but she was comfortable with it. Also i sense she could notice you were nervous throughout the date a bit.

Girls can see when a guy is waiting to do something on the date. When they want to hold their hand or kiss them. Then notice things so try not to show.

Then also putting your hand on her thigh is okay, you should try getting her hands on yours and then remove it. This is to make her want to feel that touch connection with your again. I'd say try to kino a lot. There are lot of kino ways. high five, reward hugs for her doing something right .

ashleyy
12-25-2008, 08:13 PM
WOW i really wanna slap you right now.

you and me both buddy, you and me both.

Btw yea i think she realised i was working up the courage to hold her hand cuz i kept on glancing at her hands in the cinema (she even asked if i wanted to change seats cuz the screen was to my right and she was to my left)

And thanks for the hand on back/shoulders thing cuz she was comfortable with my hand on her back, why didnt i think of that?? holding hands is a bit too gf/bf and i guess she freaked cuz of that.

now she isnt replying to my msgs since last night( i sent her 2, both related to each other) so i guess i did blow it but i'll try to text her 2-3 days later.

Thanks guys! :D

ashleyy
12-25-2008, 08:16 PM
ull lose her if she catches the scent of clinginess.

noted, thx bro!

clik
12-25-2008, 08:28 PM
Sorry to say but how about you try this. Don't text her. Go game other girls and then time will pass and then randomly she'll text you. Then if i were you I wouldn't even try to remind her of that date.

Green Hell
12-25-2008, 09:21 PM
Ugh, this is bad. I'll answer this since i'm out of tone bored off my ass on christmas night... Here is my opportunity to KJ around!!:rolleyes:



She asked me out cuz she had to meet me and i went cuz i had nothing better to do on x mas eve. She intros me to a male friend she was smoking with, i'm friendly to them both and the dude bothers to say "bye ashley" when he leaves. We go book tics for a movie and go for dinner.

I know it's christmas eve, but seriously, first date dinner and a movie is a terrible idea... even on christmas eve. I'm always a fan of pub/restarurants. IE the bar that has a nice restaurant during the day, then turns into a bar at night. It's a good segue to go from having a casual bight to eat, to having fun at a bar.


she asks me bout my ex gfs. in the cinema i rest my hand on her thigh a few times and she doesnt react. she leans into me a couple of times. we go out and get a drink to share. I tell her i'll let her go home at 2 am cuz she is working the next day.

First off, don't reach for the thighs randomly without any lead in. If you're just going to go from watching a movie to hand on thigh... it's awkward. Now, if you told her before going in that you were going to try to make out with her, then put your hand on her shoulder, then her thigh... then escalted, things would have gone smoother. And what the hell is the "I tell her i'll let her go home at 2am?" Did you have some ulterior plan in which you were going to kidnap her instead of letting her go home? Ignore crap like "im tired" or "I have to work at 2am". I got caught in that trap before by agreeing and saying I was tired too. It generally = the girl going home to sleep. Try to reframe stuff like saying she's tired or has to work the next day as a means to make messing around in any sense more risque.

IE... "I gotta work tomorrow morning"

- "Thats cute you need your beauty rest. It's too bad since I was planning on staying up late regardless of what happens tonight."


i laugh it off. she likens me to a dude who used to like her (the dude is like 38). i rest my hand on hers several times and no reaction from her. she asks me some stuff bout her online profile but i've honestly forgotten so i wing it the best i can.

If she's likening you to a 37 year old guy who liked her previously, you're probably coming across like an orbiter/friend zone dude.


Heading to the bus stop (its 6 am)
I finally muster the courage to hold her hand (awkward, awkward!!) and she goes "why do you wanna hold my hand" so i hold on for 10 secs longer then i drop it and continue like nothing happened. when her bus comes she hugs me goodbye

"why do you want to hold my hand?"

Here is a good answer. "because I feel like it".


The worst part is you pretended it never even happened. This is a shit test. You failed it sorry to say. You have no need to qualify why you want to hold a girl's hand other than the fact that you felt like it. Furthermore, the way she was asking this seems like she didn't feel very qualified as to why you were attracted to her. Not sure what you did on the date, but just reading this sounds awkward.


2 mins after the date
She texts me to thank me for the wonderful time. i reply and she says she wants to sleep

I feel bad about stuff like this, but if the text is something that isn't important, there is no need to reply to it.


x mas
i ask her if she got to work on time when i wake up (was thinking of bringing her coffee in the afternoon but i decided against it) then we text like nothing happened, and wish each other merry xmas.

She's a big girl.. she doesn't need somebody to make sure she can get to work on time. She's done it for the previous who knows how many years of her life... you went on 1 date and you're making sure she gets to work and trying to bring her coffee?? Your way too available and way too attached to this girl after a single date.






To be honest, the reason she pulled her hand away was because you werent acting in an attractive manner, and you werent interested in her for any real reasons. But there is a lot more to it than that. You're on these forums, go read some of the classic writings/best of the forum info. It's free... At least take advantage of what you can instead of having other people walk you through why you couldn't hold hands with a girl you met online.

ashleyy
12-27-2008, 01:26 AM
Hey guys!
I just read the last 3 posts so i've alr shot myself in the ass.
I texted her again and no reply. Guess thats it then.

And green_hell and affexion, thanks for the hard talk(man i feel small now). but i totally needed it.

points to take note
1) never hold hands unless its a ltr
2) dont be a nice guy
3) qualify her
4) don't fail shit tests

many more fish in the sea, many more girls to practice on. Thanks guys!

stek
12-31-2008, 03:44 AM
Piece of advice. I have had this happen in my past life. You have to be really creative. When you start out sarging, you lose a few girls and gain a few. The girls which you have lost, in your past life, because of your initial fucked up impression and be bought back after some time. As you sarge out more, you'll be more popular with girls, you will have them chasing you. In your future life if she encounters such a situation, that the girls are chasing you and you give her some value then, she'll come back.
Second thing, if you want to want to bring her back now. Be something like a rake, I had experimented this stuff in the past. a girl was not talk to me bcoz of my fucked up initial impression that i was chasing her and she was in a realtionship. I called her back said " I loved her" she got mad, acted like a complete rake( art of seduction, robert greene), it ws disastrous. she called me up at like 3 am in the morning and shit. In the end, she said it woudln't work. I was like ok, I didn't like you, I was trying to prove my friend something. Had a lot of heated argument then. Bought her back in comfort( her bf wanted to kill me). This was like 6-7 months ago, we are still in contact. we were talking about orgasms and stuff. lol. I put in so much effort coz I thought it was a big challenge, she wanted to marry him and stuff. You can imagine how much of emotions she has gone thorough. Till now she keeps on asking me if I actually like her.

ashleyy
01-04-2009, 11:00 AM
stek,
thanks for the inspired words man, they mean a lot.

Anyway, update on me and her (which there isn't btw, its me her)

Like a dickwad afc i constantly texted her (i know i shouldnt but damn i'm attracted to her) sometimes she replies, mostly she doesnt.
our latest sms convo was
me: "hey. free?"
her: "yea, wanna talk to me?"
me: "nope, just wanted to talk shit. knock knock" (don't even know wtf inspired that)
no reply
me: "ok, if you wanna talk we can but i suck at it"
no reply.

so now its nothing and i really dont think this situation can be turned around.

But hey, win some, lose some. I'm still alright.

Thanks for all the help, sorry i was too much of a wuss to follow the advice.

Thanks guys!

Fotojenique
11-30-2011, 08:20 AM
AND you my friend have a lot of learning to do about healthy, loving relationships... because it seems... affexion, that not only have you lied, cheated, been abusive, done drugs, driven around drunk... but you also still try to play the same "I could care less BS" when you SHOULD be trying to SAVE your relationship. Go ahead and stay away, go ahead and act as if you could care less... because that is what you will receive in return.

This is why you keep "fucking up" your relationship with HB 9-10's. Perhaps, if you had a heart and some emotional maturity, you would have grasped that already. :)

In your words:
"I've been myspace pimpen for about 4-5yrs. met so many women on it and F-closed either that day of meeting them or the next day. I have to agree with the main post. I have tried this one time where i just sent out a mass of "Hi, how are you" just to see who replies and maybe 1-2 out of 10 would reply back. I've gotten much of a better response with an open neg and then transition."

Hmm... I thought you never met women online, let alone F-closed. Disgusting.

Men: Use these tools to find a wonderful, worthwhile girl... and then LOVE her. Do not play people, do not use them, and do not drag them through the depths of hell for your own amusement. Chances are, if you do... you might regret it.

If you are anything like affexion though, you will move on, bang more gutter skanks, and end up dying alone or in an abusive/submission relationship with someone you do not respect. Ciao.