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View Full Version : How to deal with jealousy from Friends?



Battousia
04-10-2006, 09:25 PM
I have a sad situation. I have a friend of mine who is very jealous of the situation i'm in. Well anyways, i thought it was just me at first but it developed into a mutual friend noticing it too. How do i deal with it?
Here's the situation, i live alone in a five bedroom household, i'm 22, years old. I invite people over all the time and until recently i haven't been socially savey but, it's become part of me. Now i know that it's my house and that's why i feel so comfortable being in it. And people do challenge me on it in my own home, but i know how to be the center of attention.
I understand that my friends are meant to be my tribe, but what if your friends like to get drunk and high and too dumb to think? I don't know how to deal with the situation but people are starting to well challenge me, i've been thinking of decreasing the amount of parties and house hold gatherings i have.
Basically how do you deal with a friend whose jealous of your assests and also the way your socially savey? Should i move on, and forget about him and cut him off?
Thanks in advance,
Mo.
I know this isn't related to PU persay but i figured that some of you may have had a situation like this happen, before.

the piper
04-10-2006, 09:31 PM
i believe you need to sit down with your friend (choose your words carefully so you don't make him upset) and tell him he needs to respect you and your home and what you don't like him doing while he is a guest at your house. remain calm and controll the situation like your were sargin a woman. you must be alpha. if he continues his bahavior i would not invite him over for some time and let him know why. it is your kingdom not the peasants. you word is the law and don't forget that.

Battousia
04-10-2006, 09:34 PM
i believe you need to sit down with your friend (choose your words carefully so you don't make him upset) and tell him he needs to respect you and your home and what you don't like him doing while he is a guest at your house. remain calm and controll the situation like your were sargin a woman. you must be alpha. if he continues his bahavior i would not invite him over for some time and let him know why. it is your kingdom not the peasants. you word is the law and don't forget that.
He's one of those people that rebel against any authority. lol. That's what i find hard is to approach him. He said something out of line because i was ball busting this girl he is sleeping with. He invites her upstairs i'm showing a video i didn't want her to see so i was like sorry man you can't see the video now, she's here, and she offers to leave
he jumps in and says cut the shit or w/e i don't normally like that kinda stuff, but i felt that a freeze out would work. It did too. It was a rather uncomfortable situation, him saying that in my own home. NORMally i would have kicked somebody out but i didn't feel like i needed to do that. I was trying to defuse the situation, but thinking back, i should have just asked him to leave and return when he chose to respect me in my own home.
Your absolutly right when you said my home, and my word are my law.
Thanks for your perspective man.

Maverick
04-10-2006, 10:24 PM
Q: How did you get your own 5 bedroom house at 22? :)

Iceman
04-10-2006, 10:48 PM
Yeah, I was wondering that...
Anyway, just sit down with the friend, tell him he needs to respect what you're doing, who you've become, and what is yours, and also to control himself to what you deem acceptable when he's in your home. If he can't/won't do this, he's not a friend worth having, and you should cut him out of your life.

Stallion
04-10-2006, 11:09 PM
I agree with above posts, lay down the law weather he likes it or not.
He needs to understand that he doesn't have to like it but he has to show some respect to you in your home, if not then you do have to think about not letting him back in to show him your serious.
Talk to you soon buddy.

Ferris Bueller
04-11-2006, 03:48 AM
Hey man,
hope you don't mind a complete newbie chipping in, but this reminds me of a passage Style wrote in the Game. (Unfortunately I'm at my office so don't have the book in front of me right now) He was talking about love and how he sees it as an energy flow that comes and goes and that you should enjoy it to the full when it comes, but let it go easily when it is time to move on. I've thought back through my life using this analogy and have applied it to many situations including one similar to your's. It was back when I was 17 and I had a mate who was driving me mad - the type where I go and buy something, so he does, or I buy something so he buys an equivalent at twice the price and then goes on and on with some pack of sh*t lies about how he's got this and that and is so much richer than me and more intelligent than me and whatever... you get the picture. I simply realised, this guy isn't a real friend and I'm strong enough and have enough self worth to realise I don't need this (even though at the time I was at rock bottom, but that's a whole other story - I keep meaning to write an introduction in the intro's thread, but haven't found the time yet). So I just stopped hanging out with him, spent more time with real friends and haven't looked back since. Antoher reason I made this post was that at the time I was going through a huge amount of personal change and I'm sensing that you may be in a similar position now. If so, you gotta have the confidence to go for what you want and let go of what you no longer need (I think that may be a quote from a pickup guru, but I'm not sure which one - sorry).
Hope this helps, if not, don't worry I'll be quiet now :D

Battousia
04-11-2006, 07:05 AM
Down in Albany, that used to be the GE headquarters, anyways, when they moved GE to Atlanta at the time we were living here. Mind you i was a kid. I will have to share the home when my brother comes to age but that isn't now, he's still got a year to go.
As for the home, the house belonged to my family but they live overseas now, my mother is a seasonal visitor, and my father is one time a year visit. College can do that to you. Anyways the house was going to waste, so i undertook the care of it and it's daily bills stuff like that.
Most people when they ask i just say I have a five bedroom home, i guess. I don't really have that much money when it comes down to it but i'm finding more games. I think i'm gonna have to lay the rules down. It's sad when you have to do that. But, it's okay. I was hoping i could deflate the situation without having to lay the rules down. Somehow naturally i froze him out after saying that and i let the akwardness build. It was a notice-able one too.
Meh anyho, If i keep cutting people it's gonna be a pain in my butt to find a social circle that isn't PUAoriented, but I know what you mean i've already cut off a few people who were negative,
Ferris, thanks for your insight. The SAME thing happened, I was starting to peacock in certain ways and he was mimicing it. I don't like having a twin so i stopped saying what i was doing and started to peacock in certain ways. I have a dear friend of mine who showed me he was a good friend a few days ago. I thank god i got that kid, but besides that, i'm still changing, i'm still internalizing information and making it part of my character. i know exactly what you mean tho with what style said.
Well the time will come and unfortunatly i'm going to have to do that soon. I think what i'm going to have to do is be more shady about things, a bit too. It's not in my character but i'll have to change that around, that's the biggest thing i think i'll nbeeed to change with me. It's agood lesson too.
Thanks everybody for your help i do appreciate it.