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Don gato
11-2008-04, 04:09 PM
Well, the main problem is that i have been with my girlfriend by two weeks, and in the last days, her ex has been calling and texting her because he wants her once again as his girlfriend, she told him that she was already in a relationship ( with me hehehe) and that even if she wasn't, she wouldn't want him back.

So....now....he is really sad, angry and all of those kind of feelings, but he tell her that he wanted to kill me ( i know....that could be a classic sentence hahaha) the problem is that i don't want to deal with some ex that has inner issues or doesn't know how to move on, and i just see two possible solutions:

Move on and left my girlfriend with all of her problems.
Or try to solve it.

It's just that i have been with her two weeks, i mean.......i think is pretty dumb to risk me just for something like this ( where i live, i think 2 of 3 cases of murder are for love or began with the same situation), in the other hand i think i should fix the problem but i don't know how to hehehe.

Run as a coward ?hahaha but alive, or try to solve it? but in a pacific way?;
in other times i would fix it with kicking his ass but......i have learnt that it doesn't worth it.

Any adivice is really apreciate as if it was it gold or anything from your experience
Thanks anyway

silverghost
11-2008-05, 02:35 PM
When I was doing the training for bodyguard they told us some things. No man that says I will kill you will actually do. The percentage is so low that its more likely that you ll fall in the bath and break your neck. And no movies are not real. Most of my clients used to get "I will kill you phonecalls" and they rarely if ever a problems. Same with bombers. What kind of a moron will actually call you to tell you there is a bomb in the builidng if he wanted you dead?
Dont back off from this. In life you have to deal with some situations. When you get pushed you push back. You dont let them push you more.
If she is getting affected by it, call him and straight it out. If he is playing the bad boy thing over the phone (and many people do the same from the net since they are safe behind their screen) make sure that he sees you 1-2 times with 2-3 of your mates up close.
Anyway I dont wanna go into the whole Godfather thing but people that are scared dont do stupid things that know that will get em hurt.

silverghost
11-2008-05, 02:36 PM
Double post...

Libido
11-2008-05, 02:42 PM
I agree with a lot of what SG said, but I have a firm policy of not dealing with crazy X's myself.

Its her problem, not yours, to deal with her past relationships. Don't invite drama into your life by making it your problem, and on the odd chance that she could come to like the attention if she doesn't already... just make it clear that she needs to deal with the guy herself... and quickly.

I have implemented this philosophy for years now, since I was in a similar situation and ended up with a shitload of drama. Most of the time, you'll be surprised by how fast your gf can make her X go away when she realizes you're not tolerating it and you're not going to give her any extra attention for it. Girls are good at that stuff.

Good Luck

Libido

silverghost
11-2008-05, 03:03 PM
I agree with a lot of what SG said, but I have a firm policy of not dealing with crazy X's myself.

Its her problem, not yours, to deal with her past relationships. Don't invite drama into your life by making it your problem, and on the odd chance that she could come to like the attention if she doesn't already... just make it clear that she needs to deal with the guy herself... and quickly.

I have implemented this philosophy for years now, since I was in a similar situation and ended up with a shitload of drama. Most of the time, you'll be surprised by how fast your gf can make her X go away when she realizes you're not tolerating it and you're not going to give her any extra attention for it. Girls are good at that stuff.

Good Luck

Libido

Bleh I knew there was a simpler answer to this than what i wrote and Libido gave it (I hate you!) lol.
Although some guys can be very annoying even if the girl is making clear of her intentions. I tend to straight em out easily though...

Don gato
11-2008-08, 08:06 PM
First of all, i want to thank you because your advices are good and in really with the intention of help.

Now that i say that let's back to the problem......

The freakin' ex was sending and calling her during all the week but my girl never answer him or something like that ( concidering or supposing that my girl told me the true....), so i told her that i did not want to be in a relationship where the ex is bothering like that and that she needed to close that episode of her life.

Later, she told me that her ex was an episode that was close and that she wanted to began something with me, because she wanted to be with me and not with other guy.

The problem is that in the next days, her ex jumped to the escene again, and he stills wanted to see my girl " to talk" and other crap.

Something that i forgot to said, and it's important is that my girl and her ex live in a city that is a little far from the city where i live ( at 4 hours ) so i can't go everyday, and now ,i don't know what to do with this freakin guy because i'm not so much into my girl to risk my health or life (i think is stupid risk my health when the problem wasn't even mine at the begining) ...., but i can't allowe him to continue with this.....

What would you do in my situation?:confused:

Surely, the next time, i'm going to ask to the girl if she has any freak or psycho ex before been with her in a relationship hehehe :p

imsogay
11-2008-11, 03:18 PM
If you're not really serious about her it may be time to cut the cord for your own sanity with this ex boyfriend business and because of your traveling distance. Don't waste time if you're not serious. Just be honest with her. Tell her she needs to cut him out of her life and it's weirding you out. If she keeps on talking to him anyway then there's a problem. But try that first. If she's respectful she'll handle the problem. If she's not then maybe she wants more drama and you don't need a woman like that anyway.

S0LID
11-2008-11, 03:41 PM
The last girl I was dating who had her ex after her, i got rid of.... She was texting him... and hanging out as friends.... That was enough for me to get rid of her...

They ended up getting back together and he kept buying her macDs till she fattened up (no joke).

Thing is I'm meeting better girls now...

So IMO if it gets too bad, F it...

s*

Basically Yes
11-2008-11, 03:52 PM
Don Gato sounds like the same guy who writes those "I have $10,000,000 I need to transfer to a US account." e-mails.

If you really think he's crazy enough to try and kill you then you need to make a police report and probably break up with her at the same time. This is your life, I wouldn't try and figure out what what the mYstErY MetHOd way is to handle this situation.

sunfire
11-2008-11, 04:02 PM
dude dont deal wiht fucked up ppl. like said above, its her problem not urs. what i would do is call the guy, he'll prolly swear at u for a while. once hes done wit his bullshit tell him u dont want in this. tell him that u dont want this. tell him to talk to ur girl and tell him that if she wants to get back to u its her choice not urs, and that ur not holding her back. try to befriend him and tell him how u felt the same way before.

Nutz
11-2008-11, 04:22 PM
To the OP, your job, and only job wrt to the ex, is to be unaffected by his bullshit and any crap she brings up because of it. You need to be an emotional rock so she can see you're not going to fall apart at the seams when drama happens in your or her life.

pric3l3ssh3art
11-2008-12, 11:02 AM
i was just in this situation well i gave my ex alot of freedom i told her its her choice if she wants to be with me or whoever there have been 2 other guys that tried to get with her hb9. so of course i gotta deal withtthat shit but she broke up with me and got right into an ldr with another guy while not bein over me lol. so he got cheated on then when he found out i was still talking to her he called threatning me n shit so i hung up the phone on there 3way call he had her on the line to so i just ignored her for 3 days straight then on the 3rd day waited for her to call she did i finally picked up told her i was busy the other days even tho i was ignoring her and it worked well now she is back with me again. so tell her ur not going to deal with that shit and mean it and if she tries to pull u in on that drama like mine just did do what i did to her for a few days tell her u want nothing to do with her that will either make her want u more or it will make her go away but its the typical girls want what they cant have scenario she never pursued me as much as she did for those 3 days and now she calls more then she did when we were together.

Don gato
11-2008-21, 07:31 PM
Thanks to everyone ,i never tought that i would have so much help.

Well, i think that i'm always going to have this kind of problems ( at least if i still gaming quality girls) so i won't back into my position, i'm still having the same girlfriend but she knows that it's her problem and in fact i told her that if her ex came back again making some problems, i won't still being with her.

Until now it had worked, i mean i don't have one-itis with this girl or some strongh feelings it's just that it's the first time that i wanted to solve a problem like this in other way rather than fight or run.

Thanks by your help, it's really well apreciate.

Ramhotep
11-2008-21, 07:33 PM
read this: http://www.theattractionforums.com/forum/discussion/83128-tip-still-get-nervous-around-one-girl-group-girls.html