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View Full Version : So we fucked... she says "I feel like a slut"



HumorUS
11-02-2008, 08:26 AM
Her Anti-Slut Defense came up after the fact that we did the deed...

I was kind of frozen, and said "No, we're just Human, we like to have fun.. theres nothing wrong with it.."

but i dont know if i handled it correctly.

Any advice?

Almighty Mexijew
11-02-2008, 12:24 PM
How'd she handle what you said? I'm pretty surprised man. You're Mr. Frame (even your sig acknowledges that lol) so she should've been placed like a puzzle piece where she fits in your world.. Maybe theres a deeper cause that needs treating, rather than a symptom like ASD.

HumorUS
11-02-2008, 12:59 PM
yeah, i know.. but i've never had that happen to me.. so i was kind of stuck.. my frame is all about having fun, and anything to do with fun..

I look at sex like Fun Cardio

ware_ru
11-02-2008, 02:36 PM
"Get over it soon, my buddy James is gonna join us next time"

HumorUS
11-02-2008, 02:50 PM
lol... "so i guess right now would be a bad time to suggest an eiffel tower?

LoverBoy47
11-02-2008, 06:27 PM
"Well I feel like a whore."

Haha, I don't know. I just think she wanted some reassurance from you that you didn't think she was a slut.

The Therapist
11-05-2008, 01:25 PM
It seems like EVERY girl I have been with lately..... at least the last 7 or 8, have after the fact come at me with........ "Do you think I'm a slut?" type bull shit.

Basically I give them some quick psychology.....Did you have a good time? Well me to. What's wrong with two consenting adults doing that? It's our business, no one else's, and we both enjoyed it.


Basically they are wanting reassurance that they didn't make a bad decision and that you're going to go tell all your friends, her friends, etc.

DeadEyeDick
11-05-2008, 01:46 PM
"I feel like a slut" is right brain stuff.

Appealing to her logically is going in the wrong channel.

She's looking for reassurance that you don't think of her that way. Actions speak louder than words.

If a chick says something like that to me I SHOW her I don't think she's a slut by doing any of the following:

1. putting clothes back on and hanging out
2. doing something grounded and normal like drinking or eating
3. shooting the breeze
4. taking our time doing any of the above

Sex takes your brain in crazy places. Grounding things back in "real life" and treating her like she's not a slut will dissolve that feeling.

Libido
11-05-2008, 02:13 PM
Last time I heard that, I just said "No, don't worry its me not you"

Not sure its the best response, but it ended up happening a few more times and she actually started to try to show me she was sexual exploritative too.

Libido

silverghost
11-05-2008, 02:49 PM
"Wanna grab something to eat?" or whatever random thing there is. Women say all kind of crap. If you start giving importance to everything they say you ll end up in a sanitarium.

Mungojerry
11-06-2008, 05:22 AM
"I feel like a slut" is right brain stuff.

Appealing to her logically is going in the wrong channel.

She's looking for reassurance that you don't think of her that way. Actions speak louder than words.

If a chick says something like that to me I SHOW her I don't think she's a slut by doing any of the following:

1. putting clothes back on and hanging out
2. doing something grounded and normal like drinking or eating
3. shooting the breeze
4. taking our time doing any of the above

Sex takes your brain in crazy places. Grounding things back in "real life" and treating her like she's not a slut will dissolve that feeling.

^^^^^^^
What DED said.

My version of this is just to give a girl a long cuddle after sex - and if it's late, just let her fall asleep in my arms. Warm/fuzzy compliments are also good, like "You are so nice to cuddle" etc.

Sinn
11-06-2008, 11:53 AM
You don't have to do any of that stuff if she's feeling slutty, it's because she doesn't feel like you actually like her for anything other than sex.

That's a problem with (altogether class) qualification!

So at the time you dismiss it by saying something like " don't be weird" and then a few minutes later you say

" You know what I really like about you is..."

Exchange the ... for something you ACTUALLY like about her and the problem should be solved.

Remember qualification NEVER stops, you will ALWAYS have to reassure girls why you like them be it 20 minutes into a conversation or 20 years into a marriage.

Best,

S

HumorUS
11-06-2008, 02:11 PM
thanks Sinn. That makes alot of sense.

Spikedhairguy
11-06-2008, 02:23 PM
This is probably the most important thing to understand women are not rational or logical creatures so don't EVER try to explain them fucking logic. They're all about emotions. What you could have said is, 'No you're not because I really like you and I don't ever do this so this was special for me'. It's sensitive and cools her emotions. By saying we're humans you made yourself sound like a prehistoric caveman fucking everything that walks. Of course not on a conscious level but I don't think she's smart enough to think of it that way. Anyways girls say that to reassure their social upbringing that it's not ok to sleep around.

_Shift_
11-06-2008, 02:33 PM
maybe she felt like a slut cause u spooged on her face :p just a thought lol

honestly sinn makes a good point though.

Sleeve T
11-06-2008, 04:05 PM
I remember one time I got done with a thorough love making session and when it was over, we were exhausted and sweaty, lying in post coital glow. Then she got up and said "i need to get going..."

For once in my life, I felt like a whore. I actually said "you can stay over if you want..." and ended up sounding like a total chode. But my point is, this shit goes both ways. You don't have to cuddle or validate her just like she doesn't owe you that either. Whatever your reasons are, you did it and now you move forward amicably. The best is to just be honest with each other's expectations before jumping in the sack.

If she says things like that regularly, maybe she needs to re-evaluate her sex life and reasons for having one...

HumorUS
11-06-2008, 04:25 PM
I remember one time I got done with a thorough love making session and when it was over, we were exhausted and sweaty, lying in post coital glow. Then she got up and said "i need to get going..."



I had a hearty laugh with this.. You are a very good writer.. Very eloquent.

Lying in post coital glow... lmfao... that is hilarious!

For some reason, I can't make love... I can only fuck.. I think there is something wrong with me.

DeadEyeDick
11-06-2008, 05:28 PM
Personally, when I'm done playing hide-the-salami, I leave the money for her on the nightstand and tip the fuck out the door. :D

BloodyViper
11-08-2008, 03:23 AM
Personally, when I'm done playing hide-the-salami, I leave the money for her on the nightstand and tip the fuck out the door. :D

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
I'm SO doing that on my next ONS!!
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Haha...

Anyways, if me and some HB lie next to each other after sex and she tells me I feel like a slut, I just laugh a little, like a "haha-joke".
Get it? :D

dryroasted
11-08-2008, 05:13 AM
thats an easy illustration of how men dont get women on a deep level of understanding, the reason she said 'i feel like a slut' is because you made her feel like one, and at stage before this event she had illusions that there could be alot more to this than just sex, so im guessing that you overcompensated in order to bang her and in doing so confused the hell out that girl.....so now she doesnt know what role she is playing in the relationship.... she is the type of girl that feel's safe in feeling secure and NEEDS to feel secure....the girl either wont walk away but she will become a nag and more possessive in trying to find that security, simple because you over did the seduction whilst creating an illusion of something more.....in simple terms you havent lived up to your claims just yet, so take a couple of steps back, dont bang her and make her feel safe and happy with you again, then you can revert back to the sex and you will see a remarked difference, but tone down the fucking element and make her feel like shes swimming in an aura of pleasure.

DeadEyeDick
11-08-2008, 05:16 AM
thats an easy illustration of how men dont get women on a deep level of understanding, the reason she said 'i feel like a slut' is because you made her feel like one

This is an oversimplification, and there's no evidence for what you just wrote.

In between stimulus (mutual, consensual sex) and response (feeling like a slut) is free will.

She chose to feel like a slut. He did NOTHING to create that feeling.

dryroasted
11-08-2008, 05:27 AM
ok dick fair play on the reply, but explain to me if you can what fractionation means? also you dont know unless you have evidence that he did or didnt make her feel like a slut, the evidence is in his post, re-read it its in black and white!!

DeadEyeDick
11-08-2008, 05:39 AM
ok dick fair play on the reply, but explain to me if you can what fractionation means? also you dont know unless you have evidence that he did or didnt make her feel like a slut, the evidence is in his post, re-read it its in black and white!!

I'm not going to have a theoretical debate with you. It's off the topic of this thread.

The focus of the thread is what to do when a chick responds the way she did.

I think that's been answered.

Nihilistic
11-08-2008, 07:25 AM
Her Anti-Slut Defense came up after the fact that we did the deed...

I was kind of frozen, and said "No, we're just Human, we like to have fun.. theres nothing wrong with it.."

but i dont know if i handled it correctly.

Any advice?

i didnt read any of the replies, so excuse me if this has been said.

you might have rushed it, or you were so slick that night she knew shed been played.

by being too calibrated, you risk being fake and superficial. with guts and momentum, you can overwhelm people. but they always come back to earth.

not a bad thing. my suggestion for a good place to start humanizing yourself is to get a better comfort story. something touching.

Nihilistic
11-08-2008, 07:33 AM
I had a hearty laugh with this.. You are a very good writer.. Very eloquent.

Lying in post coital glow... lmfao... that is hilarious!

For some reason, I can't make love... I can only fuck.. I think there is something wrong with me.

as a big guy, you have been punished for being vulnerable.

plus, sex is ego.