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jech
11-01-2008, 02:01 AM
Got this nice guy AFC friend who's into this girl. Cool guy. Liked her for a long time. She got bf, not very alpha. She knows he likes her, but he probably doesn't know she already knows.

He's very typical AFC. Nice, tells jokes to make her laugh only, buys her stuff, etc etc. I haven't been interfering cos it's not my business.

But he's planning to drop the AFC line 'Ive been liking you for ages etc'.

As we all know that is going to weird her out and would probably spell the end of their friend relations and for our group.

I don't want to let this happen.
I can think of not many options:

1) Bombard him with knowledge about girl psychology. This probably will NOT work because you can't absorb this much information at one time, and CHANGE your personality completely in such a short amount of time.

2) Let him tell her, and go damage control.

3) Tell him some canned lines to use if he REALLY wants to tell her.
eg "I just gotta say I think youre cutie awesome blah blah and I like that and we should hook up but its too bad youre kinda dorky so dont get any funny ideas" or whatever
This wouldn't be congruent with his nice guy personality.


So any ideas? I really don't wanna see my friend get the weirded out cold shoulder.

Dropit
11-01-2008, 08:15 AM
Maybe have him imagine what it would be like if a girl he considered a friend (and wasn't attracted to) dropped it on him?

Fate
11-01-2008, 08:44 AM
At this point, you aren't going to change him at all, so do pre-emptive damage control.

Tell the girl what he's planning on doing. Even if she knows that he likes her, that "friends" speech is not comfortable, especially when you have to give it out of the blue. If you let her know, it will give her time to frame a response, and will most likely save the structure of the group.

jech
11-01-2008, 10:35 PM
cheers to you two

i might tell another girl to tell her that he's about to drop the line. that way I don't get in trouble from him for interfering ehehehehheh

Green Hell
11-01-2008, 11:04 PM
As we all know that is going to weird her out and would probably spell the end of their friend relations and for our group.


Let him say what he wants to say.

Look, i've known many guys who have been "afc"... in the past, and the best thing they can do for themselves is to man up and tell a girl they're legitimately attracted to them.



You begin to realize after being out a long time.. that the main difference between people who get attracted and don't get laid, and people who get girls attracted and DO get laid is that the people who get laid have the balls to state their interest to a girl. AFC's typically do it in a more desperate manner than most guys, but it's still better than the beginner "pua" mindset where they're going to attract a girl so much so that she'll just throw herself at him no matter what happens.


I remember being out as a freshman, and one of my roomates (who was a natural)... literally told a girl after meeting her for 20 minutes out at group meeting at a restaurant, he would fuck her brains out on the roof. That's not to say it would work for everyone, but she was so attracted by his balls to say that, it was a done deal for the rest of the night. She was equally attracted to me and him prior to that, but he had the balls to escalate. Saying you like a girl isn't always bad... Just saying it the second you meet a girl IS bad.

Nutz
11-01-2008, 11:09 PM
Send him a link to my blog posts about "Nice Guys". Tell him a friend sent it to you and you thought about the situation between him and that girl he likes and that you're afraid it'll blow up in his face like my blog posts mention. It should give him some food for thought.

Part 1:
Social Dynamics: The "Nice Guy"---and Why He's Not Nice (http://funandsocial.blogspot.com/2008/05/nice-guy-and-why-hes-not-nice.html)

Part 2:
Social Dynamics: Nice Guys Part 2 (http://funandsocial.blogspot.com/2008/06/nice-guys-part-2.html)

Part 3:
Social Dynamics: Nice Guys Part 3 (http://funandsocial.blogspot.com/2008/07/nice-guys-part-3.html)

React
11-02-2008, 06:22 AM
Fate Wrote:

Tell the girl what he's planning on doing. Even if she knows that he likes her, that "friends" speech is not comfortable, especially when you have to give it out of the blue. If you let her know, it will give her time to frame a response, and will most likely save the structure of the group.

Wow don't follow this advice. This sounds like something that the Nosy-girl who can't mind her own business would do.

Jech Wrote:

As we all know that is going to weird her out and would probably spell the end of their friend relations and for our group.

I don't want to let this happen.
I can think of not many options:

Not sure how this would "end" your group. Maybe it's just me, but I have confidence in my social circle, and my abilities to maintain my social circle that it can weather a little bit of drama. Doing anything but damage control is going to turn you into an insecure-control-freak over time.