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View Full Version : please, i need help, i dunno what im doing



sunfire
10-2008-27, 11:52 AM
hey, i have known this girl from school for quite a while now, and have gone out on a date with her almost a year ago. near the end of the summer we started talking again, and even made plans but that never happened DURING the summer. once school started again we started talking alot more than beofre. shes a shy girl so its hard to talk to her at times. i decided not to be a puss and ask her out, and so we made plans to do something at my house. about an hour before she was supposed to come over she calls and says she has probs with her BOYFRIEND and cant come. at that point i was like F*CKKK cuz i kinda liked her for a while, but a bf is a bf so i said to myself to just forget it.

now in the past couple of weeks or so shes been giving me alot of IOI's, complements and hints and all that stuff. last week (it is sunday evening at the moment) she told me she broke up with her bf and she didnt seem too bothered about that, she also hinted saying she will just find another one. immidietly i got happy and told her we should "chill" on the weekend, when previously she suggested we study together that same weekend. so i went to her house to watch a scary movie, good plan so far, high confidence and everything. and so i come to her house and for my suprise shes in her living room with her sister, while her dad was there aswell. i assumed they would live and let us be, but i was sadly mistaken. her sister (twin) was with us the whole time, and her dad was around for a good third of the movie, i could not make any sort of move, and i was too confused as to what to do that i couldnt even think of stuff to talk about. im not saying it was awkard the whole time, but it just seemed dry. at the end of the night i left with a hug, not what i was expecting at all. i said to myself today maybe i still got some hope, so i said hi on msn and she wouldnt reply. im rly not sure as to what i should do, and was really hoping someone here could help me, im not looking for a step to step guide, just small suggestions as to what my approach should be here. im also quite familiar with the mystery method.

P.S, ive been a member here for a long time, but had to create a new acc cuz my old one went pretty crazy.

would love to hear some suggestions on the topic, thanks in advanced.

i posted this a couple of days ago at the 18-21 forum but no one replied, i rly need some advice cuz shes all i can think about.

Lucretius
10-2008-27, 11:54 AM
i posted this a couple of days ago at the 18-21 forum but no one replied, i rly need some advice cuz shes all i can think about.

This statement right here will get you only one response in this forum. That is: you have one-itis and need to game more women so that you aren't so dependent on the outcome of this exact one. The more women you have on your plate, the less any specific one is going to matter to you...

sunfire
10-2008-27, 11:57 AM
to be honest i used to be that way, but latly i got no time for anything but school, and i barly have any friends left cuz of that. i dont meet many girls and im not even sure how to start talking to new girls in school, i rly wonna get together with this girl because ive known her for quite a while and we've had our moments i guess u can say. another thing is that shes the kinda girl who sends mixed signals ALL THE TIME

R V C A
10-2008-27, 12:06 PM
you just said you dont know how to meet girls. my suggestion is that you learn.

second id say your in the friend zone

Lucretius
10-2008-27, 12:09 PM
I'd suggest you devote your time this week to forming better time management skills. When you're devoting ALL of your time to school, it's because you do not have the proper study habits and reading skills, as well as proper managing of this along with social activities, to get things done in a reasonable manner.

I was the same way at the start of this quarter. However, I have spent much time in the past few weeks researching efficient study habits, reading skills, note taking, and time management, and now I have plenty of time for social activities given that I can now balance my time well.

I would suggest you similarly take some time and do the same. It will do wonders for your social life to have the free time there.

Talking to new girls at school is not hard. I talk to girls on the bus, in my classes, at clubs — hell, sometimes when I'm just walking by them on the street and they strike my fancy. By no means do I form friendships with all of these women, most I never see again. But practice makes perfect, so get out there and just talk to them. You don't need a fancy opener: mine usually consists of "Hi".

Just don't chase one girl thinking something will happen. I did that in high school and wasted five years of my life, that ended with me forcing myself to see a counselor for depression. Now I'm in my prime. Focusing on one is a bad idea!

sunfire
10-2008-27, 12:30 PM
thanks for the help, i do agree that i got rly bad time managing skills. i dunno what it is that setting me back from talking to girls, its not that i feel nervous and start to sweat before i talk to a girl, im just scared they will think im weird or something, and be like wtf why is he talking to me? i know i shouldnt focus on one girl but its hard for me, i usually start liking a girl rly fast after meeting her. also im unable to do kino escalation. the weirdest thing is that with girls i dont like i can be funny, i can neg and so on, and they usually start liking me after a short while. i need some suggestions on how to advance from just first meeting into kino and all that stuff, im not much of a touchy feely type of guy which is why its so hard for me. i guess thats my biggest flaw. any suggestions on that are very welcomed :)

R V C A
10-2008-27, 12:44 PM
have you read any pick up material because all of this is covered in just about every pick up manual

playtothebeat
10-2008-27, 09:36 PM
you're worse than I used to be..
trust me, girls won' think you're weird. if they do, who cares? it's one girl. or two. or three. there are about 3.2 billion other women in this world.
EVERYONE is a "touchy-feely" type of person, because it's our natural inclination, in order to get close to someone, to get intimate or what not. giving the girl a punch, or a hug, or pushing her away (yes, physically, but playfully) is NOT a big deal

sunfire
10-2008-28, 05:58 AM
i think my problem is anxiety, because next to girls i dont like i can be a "player" just naturaly. i can easily touch their hair bla bla. and i dont think im in the friend zone just yet, ill try to kino today and we'll see how it goes. thanks for the advice.

Vapor
10-2008-28, 07:49 AM
i rly need some advice cuz shes all i can think about.
No one-itis threads.

You went on a date with this girl A YEAR AGO. It's over. Meet more girls.