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mtnhwk2012
10-2008-25, 09:43 AM
Everyone is probably familiar with the games that girls play in a relationship... where they act busy and sort of disinterested in hopes that you chase after them. Im a real sucker for this and the girl Im refering to is really good at it. It fucks with my head (I HATE IT!!)

my question is how do you fight back? how do you keep them from playing these stupid games.. or maybe flip it and get HER chasing after YOU???

Swifty
10-2008-25, 12:38 PM
Try a few things here:
- Try being completely upfront and honest with her. When you're completely unmanipulative yourself (you're honest), she has no reason to be manipulative. It should take it away straight away. Being honest is such a great thing to have
- Try telling her that "she's playing hard to get"

Getting girls to chase can be hard... but in the above situation...
- Show the willingness to walk - Say to her "look, you're a really cool person, but it wont work out between me and you... Cya round" and constantly have that sort of tension...

It could be how you're setting things up... You may be coming across as too needy. Try using more disqualifiers when interacting with the girl for the first time and more hardcore qualification.

The girl has to feel the fear of loss in order to chase. She pretty much wont otherwise. She has to think you are like bombdigity amazing but at the same time hard to catch. So qualify her hard, and disqualify more than you're doing.

mtnhwk2012
10-2008-26, 04:34 PM
ive tried honesty... she just denies it or makes up some lame excuse... its weird tho weve already slept together and maintained a 3 month casual LTR.. i feel like its very late in the game to be doing all of those disqualifiers. I suppose i should just walk away. Its hard when everywhere i go things remind me of her and when my thoughts wander they always come back to her.

Now we have such an awkward relationship i can never tell if its on or off.. and I honestly am now afraid to start talking to her cause our conversations tend to end with her coldness and me getting frustrated. Guess i should just leave before i just self destruct completely

dagger
10-2008-26, 05:03 PM
your reactions, a willingness to play their games, indicate neediness on your part. i personally maintain the frame that playing games with me is unacceptable--i simply do not tolerate girls leaving me hanging or jealousy ploys or any of the typical bullshit. if i am really interested in her though i might turn her game around on her and see how she likes it.

examples:

-i had a girl tell me that lots of guys would like to take my place so i better get "with it." i told her not to let me hold her back, her "options" got the boot and not me.

-i dated a girl that got a lot of attention from guys when we went out--she was ridiculously hot and she liked flirting. so if she started playing with guy i would go hit on some girls in the place; soon enough she would be tugging at my side.

you get the point: you need to maintain a stronger frame. you're not going to "win her over" by jumping through hoops for her. identify your boundaries and do not comprimise them. if she wants to test you, throw it right back at her.

good luck and take care,

Leggy
10-2008-27, 05:26 AM
Superb advice from both dagger and previous poster. i agree with both. Also attempt to creat serious RAPPORT when you are together- you need to have a special connection in a relationshjip that transgresses games-playing and potential flirtations with other people so you get comfortable. i am having exactly the same problem at the moment and trying to achieve this so ill tell you how it goes. Check out my recent post on the newbie forum xxx