View Full Version : Back to A2 or into C1- unsure of my bearings...

Effortless Sheek
10-2008-25, 03:05 AM
I am rusty on my comfort game having been doing clubs alot and practicing my teasing and playful stuff.

As such I will often have attraction from the girl so that she is putting in effort but I want to know when it's a good time to move from wide rapport (attraction and playful) into deep rapport (A-C stages). I have found in the past there is a dangerous line where I have the girl contributing but it is only light stuff such as her being a bad cook and stuff like that. At this border I am unsure whether to bust her ass more to get more effort or try and probe deeper with more qual questions. I guess I can do both in that I can ask for more effort with a A3 question but punish her if she doesn't comply, however if I didn't TRY to move it forward an JUST stayed in attract I would likely overgame. I have found that often I will not get into the meat of things and make a deep connection. So she is putting in effort but not ALOT of effort for me to give proper rewards. Now I am not sure which way to go, whether to tease more and try and get more effort by punishment, or to show more genuine interest and actually get to know her. I am thinking the latter as it definately feels like I would be overgmaing to do more attraction.

I am unsure though at this stage whether its a qualificaiton thing or a comfort thing. I guess that both melt into each other somewhat as alot of the qualification questions are the same as comfort questions- they are bigger hoops to request more effort. What I did yesterday over text message is when she was giving me some light stuff about her being a bad cook, instead of appreciating and going deeper I went sort of cocky qualifying by saying 'hmm maybe I will let you cook for me but dont burn it or I will break up with you'. I'm not sure this was the ideal way as the vibe then went back into challenging etc etc with her replying 'what makes you think I should cook for you! it should be the other way around!' and I replied with more push pull 'we wouldnt get along yada yada' so might have been better to go deeper although I didn't know how at the time. It's like I was on the border between A3 and C1 and dipped back into attraction instead of going into comfort. My rationale was that she didn't give me anything unique enough to reward for so I would tease more til I found something I liked, but now I'm thinking I could have done better by just probing more with deeper open ended questions minus the cocky style push pull. We will have to see how it pans out though.

I'm just wondering what is the best way to do it to get her giving me more unique stuff. I'm wondering if you need to have a situationally relevant reason for escalating into deep stuff or if you just dump out Open ended questions. I'm thinking it doesn't have to be that relevant so long as you've already qualified her and are in more personal territory, it's just a case of leading with these questions...ie I have already shown genuine interest, it's just a case of acting congruent to that and getting to know her.

See I've been playing with alot of the 'aloof' too cool for school Swingcat style attraction stuff recently and I've been wondering how to make it congruent to transition into genuine interest and getting to know the girl. I am guessing having a GOOD qualification phase would enable me the best of both worlds, where I could still get strong attraciton with the disinterest hard to get stuff, but once she begins qualifying to me I can be 'won over' at which point it is warranted to ask questions. I notice that in Swingcat's book he doesn't do hardly ANY comfort stuff, he just gives her loads of cold reads and basically puts the frame ON her rather than getting to know her. I would prefer to make a GENUINE connection at some point and get her putting in lots of effort but I just wanna figure out how to make it congruent to this disinterest style stuff as I def don't wanna be one of those all disinterest guys who NEVER show interest and end up A-sexual. I also really enjoy it when I get the girl to really open up to me and is qualifying to me alot its a massive DHV and feels great.