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sk0751
09-25-2008, 06:20 PM
This is my first post on here…I’ve been reading up as much as I can. Mind you, this is all before I read “The Game,” so as I’m writing this I’m kicking myself realizing what I should have done in each situation. Anyway, on to my first book-long post…

Warning: this is extremely long…I was a little too bored at work so I wrote this up. See cliffnotes at the end for a short version.

I started this new job recently and on the first day they have you do an orientation at one of their main facilities that was about 50 miles away from my home. I left fairly early on Monday morning trying to avoid traffic and ended up in the parking lot about an hour and a half early. I tried sleeping in the car but my seats aren’t really made for napping. About an hour before the orientation started, I passed out…but woke up about 30 minutes before it started because this car next to me had talk radio up a little too loud. I look out to see this SUV with this HB9 sitting in her car listening to the radio.

Fast forward to the actual orientation…turns out HB9 is in it with me along with about 10 other people. During the actual orientation the instructor asks us all how far we drove from…turns out HB9 is about 5 miles away from me. I yell out “You’re driving me to training!” and everyone laughs.
At lunch we break and I end up going to JITB…and none other then HB9 is there as well. She’s sitting by herself eating so I ask if she minds having company…she says no, so I sit down and we chat for a little bit about our new job. We get back and we’re sitting on opposite sides of the room. About an hour later she comes by during a break and brings a notepad and asks for my name and number.

Next week is training Monday-Friday…Sunday night comes around and I don’t get a call so I figure she forgot or didn’t want to carpool. On Monday we get there and end up with most of the same group from orientation…now a group totaling 7. We’re seated in tables of 4 and 3 and HB9 is in front of me with a guy to her right, and this other HB7.5 is sitting beside me to my left.
We end up talking during the training and talking about carpooling and she says that we should carpool tomorrow. I let her know that I figured she didn’t want to because she didn’t call me and she says she forgot. In my head I’m thinking yea…whatever.

Tuesday morning comes around and she calls me early in the morning to fix a spot where we’d meet up. I end up driving because her SUV is a gas-guzzler. So we’re driving and she’s asking me questions about myself and we’re just having conversation…turns out she’s 22, almost done with her MBA and she’s half white, half the same ethnicity I am. She asks how old I am and I tell her to guess…I look older then I am. She guesses that I’m older then her…I’m 20. We also end up having the same tastes in music and stuff…I’m getting a good vibe from her.
We have a good time at training and end up going to lunch with the guy sitting next to her in training. I buy her Subway and we have fun at lunch. She comments that chivalry is not dead and that I’m a gentleman…asks if I have a girlfriend. I say no…haven’t really been looking for one.
This continues on for the rest of the week with me driving and going to lunch together…Friday we don’t carpool because she has class after training. I call her on Thursday night because I’m going to take my bike to training and I ask if I can leave my helmet and gear in her car. She says its cool. So she drives and I ride my sports bike…I get there and she’s waiting in her car smoking. She’s like “every time I saw a bike I was looking to see if it was you. I put my gear in her car and we have a fun last day at training.

At this point I’m feeling pretty good about the situation so I call her on Sunday night and we talk for about 15 min before she has to go. I get a text the next week on my day off saying “I need to talk to you. Are you at work?” I’m thinking its nothing important so I text her 10 min later saying no “I’m not at work what’s up.” She calls me a couple minutes later and tells me about the messenger program we have at work and asks me to get it so we can talk. In reality I had found out about the program the day I got into work but I played dumb and I said “oh okay yea I’ll look into it later.”

So after this I don’t get anymore calls or texts or anything. I call her like a week later and she calls me back about 3 hrs later. Call her again like another week later…she calls me back another 3 hours later.
Around this time I end up talking to a friend and finding out about The Game and the whole seduction scene. At this point I take the hint and stop talking…but we have another day of training come up in a week. So the night before training I text her telling her to call me if shes still awake. The next morning I get a call as soon as im out of the shower…I ignore it. I call her back like 20 min later and we meet up…and surprise, I offer to drive again. Shes late coming so I make fun of her a little bit…I say that I hope she plans on driving next time (theres another 2 day training in a month). She says she will for sure.

So we have another interesting day at training…same group of 7 from the week we had awhile back. We’re all friends now and know each other pretty well. We have lunch together again…this time with the HB7.5 and the HB9 and the other guy. After training we’re on the way home and she ends up sleeping in the car. After awhile she takes off her shirt and I crack a joke. She laughs and comments how shes comfortable around me so she doesn’t care. Now shes sitting in my car wearing a black beater and her pants. I make a stop on the way home because I need to pick something up from a friend…so we’re back on the road, and she asks if I’ve ever had pinkberry. She asked me this before awhile back and I hadn’t had it before, but I actually just had it a few days ago. So I tell her and she says that shes craving some and asks if I want to go. I let her know theres no pinkberry around where we are or even on the way home. She sits back and just goes back to sleep for a couple minutes…asks me if we’re gonna go again like 5 minutes later. I tell her that im gonna drop her off home and then im gonna go…she laughs and is like come onnn lets go! So im like alright whatever but you’re buying. So I stop at one and we go and she ends up liking mine more then hers…so we’re sitting there and im looking out the window, and I see the guy who sits next to her in training walk in the door. Now mind you he lives about 60-70 miles away from us and now he’s here in our area at the same time as us at pinkberry right after training…it was the weirdest thing. We look at eachother and all start laughing. Turns out his girlfriend lives around here and he stopped by on the way home to grab some for her.

So now that you’ve read my novel, here’s the situation now:

I haven’t talked to her in about a week…last time we talked she sent me a message at work. I’ve been responding back really delayed because that’s how shes been with me. She’ll send me a message, I respond back like 20 min later. We have our last 2 day training session coming up next week…she did offer to drive last time. Should I take her up on that? How should I act towards her?

Another thing, last night I got a message on Myspace from some random guy. It said “hey man lay off HB9, shes my girl.” I think I forgot to mention this earlier, but she broke up with her boyfriend about 4 or 5 months back. Not sure if shes seeing someone now, or whats going on really…how should I respond to that? Should I? Should I tell/ask her about it?
During all this I have been talking to the HB7.5 that was at training…we’ve become really good friends and we’re supposed to hang out soon too. Just curious what I should do about the situation with the HB9?

Cliffs: Met an HB9…exchanged numbers so we could carpool. Talked occasionally…I’m not sure whether she’s interested or not. Got a message on myspace from a random guy saying hes her girl. As far as I know she doesn’t have a bf. Wondering how I should respond to that, and whether I should carpool with her to training again coming up next week.

React
09-25-2008, 07:31 PM
I let her know that I figured she didn’t want to because she didn’t call me supplication, needy, wussy, approval-seeking.


We also end up having the same tastes in music and stuff…I’m getting a good vibe from her. building comfort too early, confusing rapport with attraction


I buy her Subway
supplication, provider behavior, putting her on a pedestal


She comments that chivalry is not dead and that I’m a gentleman Friendzoned'


for the rest of the week with me driving and going to lunch together provider behavior, predictable, too much comfort, without attraction to back it up


She laughs and comments how shes comfortable around me so she doesn’t care see above.


we’ve become really good friends and we’re supposed to hang out soon Outcome dependence, needy, LJBF'd

It's been game over for a long time now, you have two choices:

1. State your Interest in her, escalate physically and get rejected so you can move past this and improve your game.

2. Accept that you've lost this already and move past it so you can improve your game.

koolayde
09-25-2008, 08:02 PM
i wouldn't say its all over..but like chill84 said...you should make a move man...what are you waiting for...invite her over...get her out...get some kino and escalate and see where it goes...you gotta push the envelope a little.She had to ask you out!...more than once!!Be the man and go get what you want instead of waiting for her to put it on a platter for you...hot girls aren't gunna flag you down and beg you to bang them...and don't worry about some other guy...he's not your problem...he's hers...I wouldn't even mention it to her...at least until she brought it up like...my crazy x-bf won't leave me alone blah blah blah...then you can be like..yea he sent me a myspace message blah blah blah and you just laughed it off...and that makes him look even crazier and insecure..and it makes you look confident and secure for brushing it off like it wasn't anything to worry about for you...but don't go run and tell her like you are trying to compete with him.

sk0751
09-25-2008, 08:43 PM
thanks for the replies guys. i've already kinda chalked it up as a loss but im curious to see what you guys thought about the whole interaction.

do you suggest that i take her up on her offer to drive to training next week? or just forget about it and go myself?

any links/books you can suggest that i should look into to improve game? i know this has been asked millions of times but i've just been trying to sift through the hundreds of pua's who've released their version of conquering the game...just wondering which ones are legit. thanks in advance!

React
09-25-2008, 09:13 PM
The only person who is legit in the pua world is you. You read everything you can get your hands on, throw yourself into the field every day, figure out what works and what doesn't and that's your game.

sk0751
09-25-2008, 09:22 PM
The only person who is legit in the pua world is you. You read everything you can get your hands on, throw yourself into the field every day, figure out what works and what doesn't and that's your game.

makes sense. thanks!

mindquicken
09-25-2008, 10:52 PM
yeah man, you never made a move, so eventually she lost interest. in the MM model, you show your interest after receiving 3 IOIs.

sk0751
09-26-2008, 05:55 AM
yeah man, you never made a move, so eventually she lost interest. in the MM model, you show your interest after receiving 3 IOIs.

Yea I picked that up after reading. Oh well...theres always the next girl to try it on.

sk0751
09-26-2008, 01:28 PM
It's been game over for a long time now, you have two choices:

1. State your Interest in her, escalate physically and get rejected so you can move past this and improve your game.

2. Accept that you've lost this already and move past it so you can improve your game.

I'd like to just move on to the next girl and stop talking to HB9 but I'm going to see her next Tuesday and Wednesday at training. She had offered to carpool the last time I talked to her. Should I call and ask about that? Not call and see if she does? Decline if she does offer? Thanks

The Eternal Cowboy
09-26-2008, 07:42 PM
This is my first post on here…I’ve been reading up as much as I can. Mind you, this is all before I read “The Game,” so as I’m writing this I’m kicking myself realizing what I should have done in each situation. Anyway, on to my first book-long post…

Warning: this is extremely long…I was a little too bored at work so I wrote this up. See cliffnotes at the end for a short version.

I started this new job recently and on the first day they have you do an orientation at one of their main facilities that was about 50 miles away from my home. I left fairly early on Monday morning trying to avoid traffic and ended up in the parking lot about an hour and a half early. I tried sleeping in the car but my seats aren’t really made for napping. About an hour before the orientation started, I passed out…but woke up about 30 minutes before it started because this car next to me had talk radio up a little too loud. I look out to see this SUV with this HB9 sitting in her car listening to the radio.

Fast forward to the actual orientation…turns out HB9 is in it with me along with about 10 other people. During the actual orientation the instructor asks us all how far we drove from…turns out HB9 is about 5 miles away from me. I yell out “You’re driving me to training!” and everyone laughs.
At lunch we break and I end up going to JITB…and none other then HB9 is there as well. She’s sitting by herself eating so I ask if she minds having company…she says no, so I sit down and we chat for a little bit about our new job. We get back and we’re sitting on opposite sides of the room. About an hour later she comes by during a break and brings a notepad and asks for my name and number.

Next week is training Monday-Friday…Sunday night comes around and I don’t get a call so I figure she forgot or didn’t want to carpool. On Monday we get there and end up with most of the same group from orientation…now a group totaling 7. We’re seated in tables of 4 and 3 and HB9 is in front of me with a guy to her right, and this other HB7.5 is sitting beside me to my left.
We end up talking during the training and talking about carpooling and she says that we should carpool tomorrow. I let her know that I figured she didn’t want to because she didn’t call me and she says she forgot. In my head I’m thinking yea…whatever.

Tuesday morning comes around and she calls me early in the morning to fix a spot where we’d meet up. I end up driving because her SUV is a gas-guzzler. So we’re driving and she’s asking me questions about myself and we’re just having conversation…turns out she’s 22, almost done with her MBA and she’s half white, half the same ethnicity I am. She asks how old I am and I tell her to guess…I look older then I am. She guesses that I’m older then her…I’m 20. We also end up having the same tastes in music and stuff…I’m getting a good vibe from her.
We have a good time at training and end up going to lunch with the guy sitting next to her in training. I buy her Subway and we have fun at lunch. She comments that chivalry is not dead and that I’m a gentleman…asks if I have a girlfriend. I say no…haven’t really been looking for one.
This continues on for the rest of the week with me driving and going to lunch together…Friday we don’t carpool because she has class after training. I call her on Thursday night because I’m going to take my bike to training and I ask if I can leave my helmet and gear in her car. She says its cool. So she drives and I ride my sports bike…I get there and she’s waiting in her car smoking. She’s like “every time I saw a bike I was looking to see if it was you. I put my gear in her car and we have a fun last day at training.

At this point I’m feeling pretty good about the situation so I call her on Sunday night and we talk for about 15 min before she has to go. I get a text the next week on my day off saying “I need to talk to you. Are you at work?” I’m thinking its nothing important so I text her 10 min later saying no “I’m not at work what’s up.” She calls me a couple minutes later and tells me about the messenger program we have at work and asks me to get it so we can talk. In reality I had found out about the program the day I got into work but I played dumb and I said “oh okay yea I’ll look into it later.”

So after this I don’t get anymore calls or texts or anything. I call her like a week later and she calls me back about 3 hrs later. Call her again like another week later…she calls me back another 3 hours later.
Around this time I end up talking to a friend and finding out about The Game and the whole seduction scene. At this point I take the hint and stop talking…but we have another day of training come up in a week. So the night before training I text her telling her to call me if shes still awake. The next morning I get a call as soon as im out of the shower…I ignore it. I call her back like 20 min later and we meet up…and surprise, I offer to drive again. Shes late coming so I make fun of her a little bit…I say that I hope she plans on driving next time (theres another 2 day training in a month). She says she will for sure.

So we have another interesting day at training…same group of 7 from the week we had awhile back. We’re all friends now and know each other pretty well. We have lunch together again…this time with the HB7.5 and the HB9 and the other guy. After training we’re on the way home and she ends up sleeping in the car. After awhile she takes off her shirt and I crack a joke. She laughs and comments how shes comfortable around me so she doesn’t care. Now shes sitting in my car wearing a black beater and her pants. I make a stop on the way home because I need to pick something up from a friend…so we’re back on the road, and she asks if I’ve ever had pinkberry. She asked me this before awhile back and I hadn’t had it before, but I actually just had it a few days ago. So I tell her and she says that shes craving some and asks if I want to go. I let her know theres no pinkberry around where we are or even on the way home. She sits back and just goes back to sleep for a couple minutes…asks me if we’re gonna go again like 5 minutes later. I tell her that im gonna drop her off home and then im gonna go…she laughs and is like come onnn lets go! So im like alright whatever but you’re buying. So I stop at one and we go and she ends up liking mine more then hers…so we’re sitting there and im looking out the window, and I see the guy who sits next to her in training walk in the door. Now mind you he lives about 60-70 miles away from us and now he’s here in our area at the same time as us at pinkberry right after training…it was the weirdest thing. We look at eachother and all start laughing. Turns out his girlfriend lives around here and he stopped by on the way home to grab some for her.

So now that you’ve read my novel, here’s the situation now:

I haven’t talked to her in about a week…last time we talked she sent me a message at work. I’ve been responding back really delayed because that’s how shes been with me. She’ll send me a message, I respond back like 20 min later. We have our last 2 day training session coming up next week…she did offer to drive last time. Should I take her up on that? How should I act towards her?

Another thing, last night I got a message on Myspace from some random guy. It said “hey man lay off HB9, shes my girl.” I think I forgot to mention this earlier, but she broke up with her boyfriend about 4 or 5 months back. Not sure if shes seeing someone now, or whats going on really…how should I respond to that? Should I? Should I tell/ask her about it?
During all this I have been talking to the HB7.5 that was at training…we’ve become really good friends and we’re supposed to hang out soon too. Just curious what I should do about the situation with the HB9?

Cliffs: Met an HB9…exchanged numbers so we could carpool. Talked occasionally…I’m not sure whether she’s interested or not. Got a message on myspace from a random guy saying hes her girl. As far as I know she doesn’t have a bf. Wondering how I should respond to that, and whether I should carpool with her to training again coming up next week.

First of all, tell that Random guy to fuck off. Now, of course she likes you. She asked for your number! She texts you a lot from what I've read too. She wouldn't do any of this shit if she didn't like you.

Take her to get some more pinkberry, and offer her to watch a movie at your place and kiss her. Dude your golden, seriously.

Don't listen to these other guy's opinions. It's not over, but you got to state your interest in her somehow. State it, or kino her, or both.

sk0751
09-27-2008, 01:25 PM
First of all, tell that Random guy to fuck off. Now, of course she likes you. She asked for your number! She texts you a lot from what I've read too. She wouldn't do any of this shit if she didn't like you.

Take her to get some more pinkberry, and offer her to watch a movie at your place and kiss her. Dude your golden, seriously.

Don't listen to these other guy's opinions. It's not over, but you got to state your interest in her somehow. State it, or kino her, or both.

She doesn't text me alot...at all really. She IMed me at work the other day but thats about it. I've been trying to see if she calls me first because I was the one calling and initiating contact.

In case no one saw it, I'm still wondering about my other question: How should I react towards her now? Seeing her is inevitable...I'll be with her in a small class next week for 2 days. Should I call and ask about carpooling? Or not? If I don't, most likely she'll bring it up in class asking why I didn't call or that we should do it for the second day of class. Any thoughts on how I should handle this situation?

The Eternal Cowboy
09-27-2008, 02:41 PM
She doesn't text me alot...at all really. She IMed me at work the other day but thats about it. I've been trying to see if she calls me first because I was the one calling and initiating contact.

In case no one saw it, I'm still wondering about my other question: How should I react towards her now? Seeing her is inevitable...I'll be with her in a small class next week for 2 days. Should I call and ask about carpooling? Or not? If I don't, most likely she'll bring it up in class asking why I didn't call or that we should do it for the second day of class. Any thoughts on how I should handle this situation?

What did she say in the IM? If you want to carpool call her about it, if not don't ask her. Personally I would carpool. It saves gas, you can run game, and she's investing in you.

When your around her act like you normally would. Forget about whatever happened in the past. I fucked up terribly at work getting this chick's number, it was so awkward. Now I just act like nothing happened, and it goes smooth. I'll tell you about it if you want to know. If your not sure what to do, try qualifying her.

This is IMPORTANT don't run game on a girl at work, like a normal set. She's going to be around you a lot, she'll see your cool personality a lot and she'll have no choice but to become attracted to you.

sk0751
09-27-2008, 03:26 PM
What did she say in the IM? If you want to carpool call her about it, if not don't ask her. Personally I would carpool. It saves gas, you can run game, and she's investing in you.

When your around her act like you normally would. Forget about whatever happened in the past. I fucked up terribly at work getting this chick's number, it was so awkward. Now I just act like nothing happened, and it goes smooth. I'll tell you about it if you want to know. If your not sure what to do, try qualifying her.

This is IMPORTANT don't run game on a girl at work, like a normal set. She's going to be around you a lot, she'll see your cool personality a lot and she'll have no choice but to become attracted to you.

She just asked me how my check was this week because she knows I make more then her...: "So (sk0751's last name), how was your check this week?" She then started talking about how she wants to look for a job that pays more. The conversation was really dumb because she has a tendency to not respond within a normal amount of time...so I turned the tables and just did it to her.

I PMed you regarding your situation at work.

I don't work with her really...just attending this last training session with her. After that, we won't see each other unless we go out or plan to go to another session together.

Me acting like I normally would isn't good...unfortunately I have the "nice guy" complex. I'm trying to get rid of it and pick up as much as I can but I don't know how far I'd get in a few days.

The Eternal Cowboy
09-28-2008, 09:29 AM
She just asked me how my check was this week because she knows I make more then her...: "So (sk0751's last name), how was your check this week?" She then started talking about how she wants to look for a job that pays more. The conversation was really dumb because she has a tendency to not respond within a normal amount of time...so I turned the tables and just did it to her.

I PMed you regarding your situation at work.

I don't work with her really...just attending this last training session with her. After that, we won't see each other unless we go out or plan to go to another session together.

Me acting like I normally would isn't good...unfortunately I have the "nice guy" complex. I'm trying to get rid of it and pick up as much as I can but I don't know how far I'd get in a few days.


I understand wanting to change your personality. Try acting through your own intentions, not trying to please other people.

Her asking about your check is a good thing. I don't think she wants to know how much your check is, she's trying to invest in you.

When she takes forever texting back say "If you type as slow as you text, you better hope there aren't computers in this job."

You got this girl man.

LostOnEarth018
09-28-2008, 09:44 AM
i would suggest carpooling again, then u can esculate it into a date, after work, tell her you are hungry, lets go out to dinner, or even for coffee or something, but it would be a perfect opportunity to turn the carpooling into a date....

sk0751
09-29-2008, 07:14 PM
So I text her...we're on to carpool tomorrow.

Any thoughts on what kinda game I should run in the car? Usually we talk for a little bit but sometimes it gets really quiet. Any help would be appreciated guys. Thanks!

SmoothO
09-30-2008, 10:44 AM
this is something I have experienced many times... due to my own stupidity or lack of confidence in the moment of truth.

I like to think of this as a downgrade of communication with a girl.
Starts off real innocent want to talk to each other a lot... she gives you a sort of IOI showing shes interested... you play it cool and stay away a little because you think it makes you look cooler and eventually she loses interest and stops talking to you as much.

I have been in this situation several times and am only now starting to realize how to go about it.

The whole game is that you can't let her lose interest, but you can't act like you are too interested in seeing her. So basically you have to get her to hang out with you and at the same time try to convince her like it is almost her idea and something that you are not sure yet if you completely want to do... and then slowly work in some cocky funny and get her to like you more and more... and now that you have rapport you have to start increasing sexual tension and do other activities together.

I do not think you are out of the game. Good move on not trying to be too needy and not letting her get the best of you. Tell her that you guys should carpool next time.


Car pool with her and suggest doing something fun in a social atmosphere once. Then do that with her.

Then hang out with her again in a more personal atmosphere if things go well...

see how things are with asking her to carpool and then come back and let us know and you can take your next step.

SmoothO
09-30-2008, 10:48 AM
my bad just saw you are carpooling with her tomorrow...

be the same way you have been because what you have been doing with her has worked extremely well... Remember she wanted your number and your IM info... she did... she wanted to talk to you... whether as a friend or more is first off somethigns that remains to be seen and second off something that is up to U.

BEcause she may want you as more but you wont act and that will make it a friendship...or she may want you as a friend and you want more, however with lack of action you will never know either way...

And if you are worried about not having a friendship you shouldnt unless you truly value her friendship which you can't because you haven't known her too long.

Be yourself. Be confident, be funny, Be cool because you are doing well you just need to keep it up and up the game a little to something where you guys actually do something outside carpool, work and a small gathering for lunch or whatever....

Trust me don't wait forever... because someone else will take her and if shes not for you get someone else.

Flirt with the 7.5 and build game with her when shes not around so she will see she has competition. Just a little idea I had for you.

sk0751
09-30-2008, 07:54 PM
So we carpooled today and the only thing I'm finding weird is that occasionally it gets silent in the car. Its about a 40 min ride to training and I feel like I want to talk about something to keep it from being silent, but then again, I don't want to always be the one starting conversations. I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking it.

Either way it was an interesting day of training. I was the only male in a room with 6 ladies, not including the female instructor. I was cocky funny pretty much the whole time...when we had to split off with a partner, I was paired up with other girls and not her.

At one point while we were partnered up, I was with one of the other girls in the class. After the exercise was finished, HB9 was jokingly like "I want my man back!"

I went to lunch with HB9 and HB7.5. I'd say I had a good time...HB9 got her food first and finished first so she went to go smoke while I ate and talked with HB7.5. It was interesting to say the least. I'm probably gonna go out with HB7.5 on Thursday.

On the way back home I was pretty tired so I was half-asleep. During the ride I said "So are we going to Pinkberry or what?" She was like yeaa that sounds good. Then she was like oh wait I have to be somewhere after I drop you off. Turns out she had to go to a friend's softball game. Guys play softball? Sorry if I offend anyone, but I thought it was kinda funny. Anyway, we both laughed at that for a bit and then she said we'll definitely go tomorrow.

There was one situation where I wasn't really sure how to react: On the way to the training we were running a little late. HB9 usually smoked a cig before going to class, but she didn't think she had enough time to do it today, so she said she wanted to smoke in the car. I don't smoke and am personally against it, and I put her on a guilt trip for having me in the car while she smoked. In your opinion(s), how should I have acted in that case?

SmoothO
10-01-2008, 05:32 PM
Hey man,

looks like you are doing good.

You are definitely over-thinking about who is talking more. I do the same shit, just like how you were over-thinking with the texting and how often and how fast they respond.


Girls will sometimes intentionally make guys wait before they call them or text them back because they want to restore the balance of not having power in the world....lol-- a little shovenistic but kind of true if you really think about it.


Anyways, you are doing well about not having enough to talk about conversation has to flow and usually the guy has to make the girl talk and girls are really easy once you get them to open up and talk

integrate charm, with sweetness, with being funny and cocky funny into conversation as she tells you about herself and the conversation will just keep going naturally and she'll open up more.

When you go to pink berry next ask her out to a social function or a date or to a bar with your friends. Whichever you think she will be most comfortable with.

sk0751
10-01-2008, 06:34 PM
Well we carpooled again today but on the way home I didn't mention Pinkberry again so nothing happened. I wanted to see if she remembered...she didn't. I didn't really know how to bring it up...I thought just asking again would seem weird.

We had a joke going on with the whole class because shes been involved in about 8 accidents...so the joke was that I was hoping to get back home safe after training. We had a good laugh at that all day and I'd say I was pretty confident and having good conversation with her.

Also went to lunch with HB7.5 and HB9 again. HB9 was on the phone for the most part fighting with someone...I didn't really catch who. After her conversation ended, we were back in HB7.5's car headed back to training and HB9 commented on how "Chris is right! All men are stupid!" referring to another conversation all the ladies had earlier in the morning. I wanted to dig deeper and say something along the lines of "the man you're with is stupid, but I'm not. What'd he do?" but it didn't sound right in my head at the time.

Training is now over and she was talking about how she's probably not going to be with the company for very much longer (not happy with the pay), so that rules out future training carpool "dates."

Any suggestions on how to approach her on setting up a real date? I was going to call or text but I didn't want to name a specific date or time (in case she wasn't free), but I don't want to flat out ask "when are you free so we can hang out?" Or am I being stupid and should I just flat out ask that? Thanks for your help!

SmoothO
10-02-2008, 07:07 AM
you can try to ask in person if you get the chance... or


you call call her up (hope she answers) and ask her to dinner and a movie if you want to go traditional... will let her know that you are interested, and if she isn't she wouldnt say yes to doing that.

Or you can invite her out to a bar or something with friends... but that might not be the best option still.

Question is whether you want her as a gf or just to hook up with.

I guess it seems like you like her a little... so I would try and get a date with her... that way if she says no at least you'll know.

BTW good thing you didn't say that... just the fact that they were talking about that stuff in front of you is a bad way to go down the friend zone... because you don't want to talk about her exes or some current bs guy until you guys are together and talking about that stuff.

The Eternal Cowboy
10-03-2008, 12:22 AM
Well we carpooled again today but on the way home I didn't mention Pinkberry again so nothing happened. I wanted to see if she remembered...she didn't. I didn't really know how to bring it up...I thought just asking again would seem weird.

We had a joke going on with the whole class because shes been involved in about 8 accidents...so the joke was that I was hoping to get back home safe after training. We had a good laugh at that all day and I'd say I was pretty confident and having good conversation with her.

Also went to lunch with HB7.5 and HB9 again. HB9 was on the phone for the most part fighting with someone...I didn't really catch who. After her conversation ended, we were back in HB7.5's car headed back to training and HB9 commented on how "Chris is right! All men are stupid!" referring to another conversation all the ladies had earlier in the morning. I wanted to dig deeper and say something along the lines of "the man you're with is stupid, but I'm not. What'd he do?" but it didn't sound right in my head at the time.

Training is now over and she was talking about how she's probably not going to be with the company for very much longer (not happy with the pay), so that rules out future training carpool "dates."

Any suggestions on how to approach her on setting up a real date? I was going to call or text but I didn't want to name a specific date or time (in case she wasn't free), but I don't want to flat out ask "when are you free so we can hang out?" Or am I being stupid and should I just flat out ask that? Thanks for your help!

You've already been on one date with her. Tell her "hey pinkberry was really good, we should go again sometime."

"the man you're with is stupid, but I'm not. What'd he do?

I'm wouldn't have said that either. Women are over emotional, who cares what he did.

SmoothO
10-03-2008, 06:17 AM
past is prologue to what happens in the future.

What I mean by this is that whatever he did caused her to feel a certain way and it is your job to come in and make her life interesting again. Who cares what he did for now? Asking her this early will only put you in friend zone. If you ask after you hook up with her you can find out if you really want to or if you share past experiences etc.


Only thing you should worry about is how to get her on a date... best way is to ask her to do something.

sk0751
10-03-2008, 08:58 AM
1. I'm probably gonna call either tonight or tomorrow...although I'm leaning towards tomorrow. I was going to IM her at work, but her not responding in a sensible manner would just make me feel unnecessarily nervous about the situation. If I do IM her, I'm thinking about saying something along the lines of what TEC suggested earlier:



When she takes forever texting back say "If you type as slow as you text, you better hope there aren't computers in this job."


2. If we did arrange to hang out, I wanted to do something crazy...out of the ordinary...like rock-climbing, or a shooting or driving range. Something she probably hasn't done before. Any thoughts on this?


3.

BTW good thing you didn't say that... just the fact that they were talking about that stuff in front of you is a bad way to go down the friend zone... because you don't want to talk about her exes or some current bs guy until you guys are together and talking about that stuff.

I stayed quiet during that short convo between HB7.5 and HB9 in the car. They were talking and said something along the lines of "sk0751, all men are mean!" I just responded with my hands up in the air and something similar to "I don't know what to tell you."


4. Also, somewhere along the ride to/from training (can't remember) HB9 brought up how shes always thinking about me when she gets her check, because she knows I make her. I wanted to say something cocky funny, but nothing good came to me at that moment.


5. Another thing, is that I'm having issues initiating kino. Usually I'm pretty good with just a slight hand on the back or brushing their arm, but I've been having trouble with her. I think if I'm out of the training/work environment I might have more luck...when we went to Pinkberry it was a lot easier.


6. Lastly, when she smokes while driving with me in the car, does that say anything about her? I mean at first I was like wow, she really doesn't care about my health but then come to think about it, apparently she doesn't care about her own health. So, my conclusion was that she's just addicted, and there's not much she can do about it, short of quitting.


7. I wanted to thank you guys for helping me out with this and giving your input...its really given me more confidence. Thanks!

SmoothO
10-04-2008, 10:32 AM
hmm kino can be escalated in a few ways. You already know each other and since you haven't initiated you are nervous on how she will react.

I would say if she agrees to going out with you to do something ( which I really think she will based on how you speak of her)

then I would say once you are out with her you should slowly escalate kino.

I like fun date ideas like rock climbing and things like that. That is a great idea... but have a back up idea in case she maybe isn't ready for that.

FYI rock climbing is excellent for kino. ( You can help her put the harness on, Try to know what you are doing first lol, and you can help her if she falls or help her up the first part and say I'm here for you don't worry etc.) can also give some Great cocky funny points during that situation.


Also, next time if you are around them and they talk about other guys flip the switch and tell them how girls can be worse, and give instances (not TOO specific) about how girls will do this and that and maybe throw in some cocky funny and make these girls validate themselves to you by saying I hope you girls aren't like that etc... FLIP The switch on them in whatever way you feel comfortable with.


also, if your backup is dinner and a movie, prepare to have good conversation in your arsenal during dinner ( funny, cocky funny, good background talk on each other, make her talk girls love talking you just have to turn their switch on mentally and they just won't shutup.)

Good luck hope she says yes.

sk0751
10-04-2008, 04:10 PM
I ended up IMing her at work yesterday:

sk0751: if i'm not mistaken, i believe you still owe me pinkberry.
HB9: name a time and place and i'll be there.
**advised by a friend to say that i'll pick her up to avoid chances of her flaking
sk0751: i'll pick you up sunday at 7
HB9: i cant sunday :(. what about tuesday?
**at this point i had to go so i told her we'd talk about it later

im going to call her up and set up pinkberry for this week probably.

i've never been rock climbing before...i should probably go do it once before just to see what im getting myself into. :D

i like the point you made about validation...i'll definitely keep that in mind.

i really wanted to stay away from the dinner and a movie...i usually have a hard time striking up conversation. once its there, i can keep it going. i dont know...something i need to work on.

another thing...while carpooling the other day, we heard a commercial on the radio for this service for "people in a relationship, that are looking for more." we both looked at eachother and were like, "looking for more what??" we definitely had a good laugh at that...it became the inside joke all day. i actually went to the website while she was driving and asked for her info and made her a profile. she was iffy about doing it so i used a fake name/some fake details. i looked at it this morning for shits and giggles and noticed she had like 15 messages (within like 3 days). any ideas on how i can use this to my advantage? pretend to be one of the guys? i dont know...just throwing this out there...i thought it was really funny.

SmoothO
10-05-2008, 10:16 AM
well the validation thing is important I think... because I like many other guys forget that when you really like someone it is easy for them to be kind of put on a pedestal. When you do that you begin just accepting them as they are with all their flaws and no matter what they do to you, you'll probably still like them... so you have to remember to find ways for them to validate themselves to you... be really sneaky about it though and not too much of a prick...

sounds like you have an initial meet... wouldn't say pinkberry is a first date yet...but from there you can probably leverage a first date. bring up rock climbing during pink berry and see if she's interested (have a backup)... but if you really like her make it clear that it is a date if you can.

sk0751
10-14-2008, 06:49 PM
I wanted to post an update on this situation.

So I hadn't talked to her in about a week, maybe a week and a half. Then last Saturday she IMed me at work:

HB9: whats up my overpaid friend?
sk0751: i should have never told you how much i get paid.
sk0751: haha
...a couple minutes later...
HB9: its okay, i still like you (smiley face)
sk0751: aww thats cute. too bad i dont feel the same way! :)
...no response. She has a habit of not responding right away or being delayed when she does, so I didn't think much of it.

Fast forward to today...crazy fires out here in the valley and getting into Simi where I live. The only cool part about it was that they were refilling helicopters with water right behind my house...it was definitely a crazy scene.

Anyway, a friend down the street asked if I wanted some in-n-out...sounded good to me. He was watching the helicopters so I left my house to go pick him up around the corner. I dialed HB9 while I was on the way...

HB9: well hey there mr. sk0751
sk0751: haha whats goin on
HB9: not much just reading a magazine and doing some hw. did you know theres a magazine called dogs and toys (or something like that) and its about dogs and toys that they get?
sk0751: hahaha are you kidding me? dont you have anything better to do?
HB9: no not really i was just doing hw, watching tv, reading this magazine
...blah blah blah...i put her on hold a couple of times because of cops being around at the checkpoints and stuff...
sk0751: im on my way to in n out to eat right now. did you eat yet?
HB9: awww thats so cute you wanna go eat with me!
sk0751: yea...what? i was just on my way to get some food man haha...i wanted to see if you wanted some too. nothing more...take it easy haha
HB9: haha yea i had pizza
sk0751: wtf thats not real food
HB9: haha it was french pizza!
sk0751: okay well im gonna go...im looking outside my car and theres like 30 sheriffs in front of me.
HB9: okay just call me later

So that's a recap of what's happened so far. Any comments/suggestions are welcome.

I'm supposed to go to Six Flags Fright Fest this weekend with some friends...I'm thinking about asking her to go. Any ideas on how to ask her about that?

React
10-14-2008, 07:04 PM
For the love of god please go approach other women.

SmoothO
10-16-2008, 04:48 PM
lol... chill84's post...

anyways dude... she likes you she has given you signal time and time again...


you are now waiting to long

call her ask her to go bowling
it doesnt matter just make plans in advance

girls like to make plans man make her feel like shes important


ps. dont call her man-- however good job negging her A LITTLE-- you dont need to overdo it she likes you already..


and if she says no in the end?

fuck it move on you'll be okay...

have that in your head and you wont fear asking her out

sk0751
10-17-2008, 07:08 AM
lol... chill84's post...

anyways dude... she likes you she has given you signal time and time again...


you are now waiting to long

call her ask her to go bowling
it doesnt matter just make plans in advance

girls like to make plans man make her feel like shes important


ps. dont call her man-- however good job negging her A LITTLE-- you dont need to overdo it she likes you already..


and if she says no in the end?

fuck it move on you'll be okay...

have that in your head and you wont fear asking her out

i called yesterday and let her know im going to six flags this weekend...shes like wow i even have a free ticket so i wouldnt have to pay. but then she was like let me get back to you tomorrow...

at this point, yea i realize i've spent way too much time on this. either it works or it doesnt...we'll see what happens today.