View Full Version : The 'Friend' Vibe

09-21-2008, 09:29 PM
So I meet this HB 8.5 at party. She basically asked me to dance, I was just chillin outside for a bit cas it was crazy hot inside. We have a crazy connection all night dancin and grindin, i throw in a couple C/F comments in between when the amp would overheat for a couple seconds every 10 mins. She asks for my num etc etc. Turns out shes got a bf from hs (she's a freshman, im a junior) but 3 days later they break up. I've met her neighbors and ppl on the floor of her dorm and everyone thinks im the shit. (I'm also in a frat which helps with the social proof/status along with being a Junior)

Her friends keep tellin me she likes me and she knows I like her but just recently her friend told me that she kind of gets a friend vibe from me. Now i'm thinking that i've been too funny, too much of a cool guy that im strictly in her comfort zone. What I have a problem with is escalating to attraction and knowing when to qualify.

The other night she texts me sayin shes dropping over our house with her friend to go out partying with a smiley. They bring two other guys and she's talking with this one guy alot during the night (i get some of my time in too). I'm thinking (hoping) that this was a 'frame test' to see whether i got jealous or not and how i took it. At the end of the party she asked me if my party friday was definite. I said yeh so she goes aright ill try to get my parents to come get me on saturday instead (to go home for the weekend).

So how do i get rid of that friend vibe???

09-23-2008, 05:14 AM
Unless you experience it for yourself from her, disregard what her friends say about being in the friend's vibe. From what you've written above, it seems like you're nowhere near the friend's zone: the girl's still potentially yours. Also, she's obviously attracted to you so now's the obvious time to qualify (imo where the fun begins).

Let her friend's words get to your head, let them create doubt, and it could ruin you. Don't overanalyze things, go with the best case scenario in your head when you're unsure. So forget that her friend even talked to you.

As in getting the girl, try this:

1. Don't be needy, or try to prove yourself to her that you're the real deal. Stay congruent with when you attracted her.
2. Remember that the real question now isn't about whether you deserve her, it's all about whether she deserves YOU. Start qualifying her, make her feel like you're testing her, and move into comfort.

If however you are feeling like she's starting to put you in her friend's zone, start treating her like any other girl, nothing more, nothing less. You are the prize. Make her chase, then qualify her. Honestly I don't think you should even think about this. It's what you see, not what her friends say.

Do this right and someone might have a new gf pretty soon...

Anyway keep up the good work and let us know what happens. Go for it.


10-11-2008, 01:54 PM
I would continue the good work, and don't come off to needy! Just show her that its the other way around! That she needs to prove herself to you!