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bladewalker
08-31-2008, 07:46 PM
So i had this really awful social encounter last night, and I was wondering how I could have possibly handled this smoothly in any way. Actually I had two haha - here they are

1. Walked into a party, a kid i knew was there and he was like heyyy Jeff! and came over and held up his hand as if he was going to give me a high 5, and I put my hand up, and then he walks past me to someone else and he was like yeah it wasnt you idiot, it was someone behind you. so i was like, in an attempt to uphold any pride i had left haha, dont give me that shit, give me a high 5 anyway, and grab his hand, but he resisted pretty hard stright off the bat, and then gives me the "no touchy" line. What a bitch. But how could i have possibly pulled that off with any grace? It really threw me and made me act weird for like an hour after because it was so awkward and humiliating

2. Talking to this girl in a group, we somehow got to the topic of hooking up with people, and then she busts out this comment to me, she says, well you look like the kind of guy who would hook up with anything alive - and everyone else in the group starts like laughing and "ooo"ing, but i didnt respond straight off the bat, because it was so out of the blue, and i was like, where the hell did that come from, but then after i was like - could be but i wouldnt hook up with you. Basically, it was pretty awkward.

So if anyone is more socially acute than I, how would you have handled either of these situations?

Thanks you guys are the best :D

HoldenCaulfield
09-01-2008, 01:44 AM
No idea about the first situation.

Second one should be handled by ridiculously exaggerating her statement.
So when she goes "I bet you hook up with anything alive" you just give her strong eye contact and go "yeah, even animals. you should see my cat, she doesn't even want to be in the same room with me anymore!"
or something like that. just release the tension after a couple of seconds. you can do that with a cocky smile!

someone correct me if i'm wrong!

React
09-01-2008, 02:48 AM
uhg. That's one way to roll with it, but self-depricating humor needs to be used carefully until your inner game is well-developed. In this situation, where he is being blatantly disrespected they would have just turned it around on him and mercilessly teased him about it long after it stopped being funny. You can deal with it just by ignoring it, but it can be hard sometimes.

What the hell is going on here. First you clearly did something to make people see you negatively. Not tonight, but in the past. Are you in high school or something?

Second, you are putting yourself into a social circle where these people can just look down on you and try to find ways to insult you for their own amusement, you should have left/never been there in the first place.

The guy called you "idiot" and you tried to be cool with him despite that. He wasn't even pretending to playfully joke around with you, he was being harsh and mean. You can't respond the way you did to that kind of behavior. What you did would have worked if he was legitimately being an asshole, but trying to be subtle about it. This AMOG was not being subtle. He openly disrespected you, and you supplicated.

Stop taking shit from people. I'm one of the nicest, most chill guys you'll ever meet, but I live in a low-income town full of AMOGs, and when people disrespect me or my friends I make sure to lay down the fucking law. You call them out, you tool them, you IOD them, you Ignore them, you get in their face, you bitch-slap them. YOU SHOW THEM WHERE THE FUCKING BOUNDARIES ARE. but you DO NOT supplicate to them and try to be cool with them when they are blatantly disrespecting you.

Even if this HB you were talking to never met you before, already she's going to see approval seeking behavior which sub-communicates neediness. This is why she teased/insulted you the way she did. I don't know the interaction, and I hate yo burst your bubble, but I think you need to consider the possibility that she was talking to you, just to humor you and using your conversation to tool you for the amusement of her friends.

jtrizzyack
09-01-2008, 08:06 AM
The guy seems like he isn't tight with you, bro. So you need to stop acting like you guys are tight IN the club if you're not tight OUT of the club. In this case, I wouldn't have thought it was a problem to give him a high five, but he sounds very alpha, and you trying to get him to give you a high five may have felt too much like a compliance test to him. From the way you describe this guy, he's trash. Don't even try to sort it out, it won't be worth your time, he's not going to help you out in the long run.

Here's my take on these guys, in the big picture of things: you should surround yourself with positive, energetic, enthusiastic people. Don't surround yourself with assholes who are condescending and put others down in order to put themselves up. I am very choosy with my friends, I'd rather have a few really tight, energetic, motivated, highly intelligent and driven friends. It sounds cliche, and it is, but there's a reason: it's tried, tested, and true. These people are just funner to be around.

For #2, it's probably just a shit test if you don't know the girl. I would have just turned the tables on her with a classic "well that doesn't mean I'd hook up with you too babe, so you need to relax."

corrupt10n
09-01-2008, 09:29 AM
i think for the 2nd situation I'd follow the lines of "that may be so but for you I'll make an exception"

sdnightfly
09-01-2008, 10:20 AM
1- I would say something to him at another time. Some guys are two faced, nice when they're one on one, and total a-holes when there's a large group around. Not sure if you and him are friendly outside of this or not. I don't forget stuff like that. If he acts nice to you again, call him out on it, because he's just going to do it again.

2- I would just tell her she's funny and start telling the best looking guy she'd obviously sleep with that she's been talking about him nonstop.

I have no problem ruining someone's night if they try to ruin mine, but never in a vindictive way that's going to turn into a fight. Just let them get more drunk and get them to do some really stupid things. Always nice to have a camera nearby to capture those moments.

You're going to have to explain how you even got invited to the party in the first place. Did you go with anyone? There are some parties I won't go to because I might not get a good feel for it. There are parties I've gone to where I barely knew anyone and hit it off. There have been times I spent 15 minutes at a place and left because the vibe was off, everyone was huddled in their corners doing their thing with the people they knew. They weren't open to talking to strangers, except really brief small talk. If I felt unwelcome and uncomfortable, I would've left. And there are parties I've been completely anti-social at and people insisted on talking to me.

I've been to parties where people flat out hated me but because I had mutual friends, they usually went with avoiding me.

Just realize, the more parties you go to without getting wasted and building on different social circles, the more you watch the social dynamics going on, the more you better yourself, the easier it'll be to deal with.

You can't let it affect you for an hour. Give yourself 2 minutes, take a breath, forget it. Like I said, if it bothers you that much, call it a night and do something else that you consider fun while the night is young. And those who can dish it out usually can't take it, but some of them have been doing comebacks for a long time, and can be tough to get to. I like insult comics,and when you've been insulted by the best, some schmuck at a party that thinks is funny isn't going to mean a damn thing.

bladewalker
09-01-2008, 12:00 PM
aiite thanks - i realize now it sounds like im totally socially retarded but it was really just an isolated situation

on the first one i was with my friends, and walked into a party when this kid called my name, i never really liked him much, but he lived next to me last year and sometimes we talked and such

the second one was a friend of one of my friends who was visiting, so thats the only reason i was talking to her, i wasnt even remotely hitting on her actually

but thanks for the help - ill take any other suggestions too...

GAT0R
09-01-2008, 12:23 PM
Lol, fuck that 1 dude. I wouldnta gave him a high five or dap or none of that shit.

Expliciite
09-01-2008, 02:08 PM
1) You could have done the snake when your hand was up high :p

2) You had to tell her when she said that you would hook up with anything alive, you had to look at her and said: except with you ;)

HRHughes
09-01-2008, 02:23 PM
...I fuck em dead too bitch

.....something this bold, if you say it loud and proud will put the focus back on you, and she will look terrible for having tested such a bold man, you reacted in an embarassed way.

I might also let her know infront of the group, that if she's lucky we'll be pounding ass in the afterlife.



aparently you know the first guy, and you probably had some kind of intuition that he would do something asshole-ish like he did, next time, stick to that little voice in your head, and when he calls your name pretend like he doesnt exist, i'd rather take a beating or get in a fight then feel like shit inside.

one the biggest "amog" assholes i've ever dealt with walked up to me when i was talking to a cute little blonde and he came up to me and asked to speak with me, i told him, i'll talk to you later i'm talking to my friends, and turned to put my back to him.

He got increasing aggrivated as i continued to brush him off, but had a much more respectful approach as he approached me again a few minutes later, this time i responded to him for a minute, then went back to talking to my friends.

He's made an ass out of me a few times, but i take the Jay-z approach to life, I never lose, because when i do lose, i learn something, so in the end i win.

teefbro
09-01-2008, 02:36 PM
I would of gave the first guy a twack around the ears, like your mum gives you haha. And if he did anything, just put one on his chin and lights out.

2nd one. Damn is that your breath(like it smells bad)

napjohn8
09-01-2008, 02:48 PM
haha i would've been for the first one i never put my hand out unless someone says the line you did, because it avoids those situations, always be the one to resist high fives

2) i would've been in a sarcastic voice " wow you must really know that first hand but ya i would definitly hook up with anything i might even consider some animals, and then kindly switch the topic.

HRHughes
09-01-2008, 03:35 PM
lol i was thinking about this, and thinking of the scene from the forty year old virgin about the girl fucking a horse. Something like this would break up the atomosphere and make it funny.

Chopps
09-01-2008, 04:09 PM
1) After you forced the high five, you could have went with this anti-amog line that my #1 wing said one time. "Wow your hands are really soft. Do you moisturize?" I would have been a little pissed if some guy did that shit to me. I probably would have said something I shouldn't have, because that shit was just un-called for.

2) Yeah I do fuck everything alive, but you want to know the bad part? I wouldn't fuck you! :D Lol

bladewalker
09-02-2008, 10:19 AM
thanks you guys this is great - i did pull the "yeah i do but i wouldnt hook up with you" line , but it was after an intital silence, because it was so out of the blue that i had to think for like 3 seconds

i guess ill just ignore the guy and bitch on him whenever i see him in the future, but the person who said he was two faced was right, sometimes he was nice, sometimes obnoxious. i cant deal with those kinds of people. Just wondering if there was any response that i could have shown him up with, but apparently not really, besides fighting him on the spot haha

jtrizzyack
09-02-2008, 10:34 AM
No sweat, man. All that matters is you're out and gaming. You incrementally learn this stuff and how to react to situations. Guess what? You're going to be prepared the next time this happens, IF it happens. You'll most likely never encounter the same mistake twice, your brain is wired mechanically to only remember how to positively deal with situations like this, and once it properly does it once, you never need to mentally shuffle through the situation again. Here's what's even cooler: even if you imagine it, your brain does not understand the difference between vividly imagined events and actual events, this has been scientifically proven and shown in psycho-cybernetics. So you can vividly imagine particular scenarios like this well in advance, create the responses, and you're done. It saves you the hassle of dealing with "reality," when you can just deal with it inside of your mind.

Basically, your guy friend sounds like a bipolar chode, and I wouldn't even waste my energy trying to sort things out with him. I avoid physical fighting as much as possible, usually only resort to that when it comes to people interfering with girlfriend or family or very close friends. Random people at bars, or just people you know vaguely, not worth the trouble. It's tempting to say "beat that guy's ass, he crossed a line" but it's not realistic to apply that rule to everything that rubs you the wrong way.

Keep gaming, keep learning.

HRHughes
09-04-2008, 01:36 PM
thanks you guys this is great - i did pull the "yeah i do but i wouldnt hook up with you" line , but it was after an intital silence, because it was so out of the blue that i had to think for like 3 seconds


Cracking up laughing would have worked too, as long as they were genuine laughs, laughing at yourself generally diffuses a situation like this.

Dont take it too far though, just more on to the next topic quickly.